DOCTOR    LAMAR 


"  It  has  pleased  God  (fiat  divine  verities  should  not 
enter  the  heart  through  the  understanding,  but  the 
understanding  through  the  heart" — PASCAL. 


NEW   YORK 
THOMAS   Y.  CROWELL  &   CO. 

46  EAST  FOURTEENTH  STREET 


COPYRIGHT,  1891, 
BY  THOMAS  Y.  CROWELL  &  Co. 


C.  J.  PETERS  &  SON,  TYPOGRAPHERS,  BOSTON. 


T.  Y.  CROWELL  &  Co.,  BOOKBINDERS,  BOSTON. 


TO 


BUT  FOR  WHOSE  WARM  INTEREST  AND  CONSTANT 

ENCOURAGEMENT  MINE  HAD  BEEN 

AN  IDLE  PEN, 

ftfjis  iltttle  Foluttu 

IS    LOVINGLY    DEDICATED. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR. 


CHAPTER  I. 

ON  a  cold,  dreary  evening  in  the  spring  of  188-  a 
dog-cart  drew  up  before  a  house  in  Forty-second 
Street,  New  York,  and  a  gentleman  jumping  there- 
from threw  the  reins  to  his  groom,  saying,  — 

"  I  think  I  sha'n't  need  you  again  to-night,  Brice. 
Give  the  mare  a  hot  mash,  and  rub  her  down  well. 
If  I  want  you,  I  will  telephone  to  the  stable. 
Good-night." 

"  Good-night,  sir."  The  man  touched  his  hat,  drew 
up  the  reins,  and  rolled  off  at  a  brisk  trot ;  while  his 
master  slowly  ascended  the  steps  of  the  substantial 
dwelling,  opened  the  .door  with  a  latch-key,  and 
entered  the  handsome,  dimly  lighted  hall. 

Having  rid  himself  of  hat  and  overcoat,'  he  turned 
to  the  right,  passed  through  a  semi-obscure  reception- 
room  to  a  somewhat  sternly  and  rigidly  arranged 
study,  of  which  the  chief  point  of  attraction  was  a 
bright  wood-fire  that  snapped  and  crackled  upon  the 
broad  hearth. 

5 


6  DOCTOR  LAMAS. 

Even  this  cheery  welcome,  however,  failed  to 
seduce  him  from  his  apparent  preoccupation.  Dis- 
regarding the  cordial  invitation  to  approach  and  warm 
himself  which  it  extended,  Dr.  Lamar  deliberately 
passed  it  by  unheeded,  crossed  to  the  further  side  of 
the  mantel-piece,  and  pressed  the  white  button  of  an 
electric  bell.  Almost  immediately  the  summons  was 
answered  by  a  man  in  sober  livery. 

"  How  is  Mrs.  Lamar  this  evening,  James  ? "  the 
master  asked  gravely. 

"  She  is  sleeping  now,  sir,"  the  man  replied  in  the 
same  tone. 

"Ah!  Ask  Miss  Vorce,  then,  if  she  can  find  it 
convenient  to  let  one  of  the  maid's  take  her  place  for 
a  few  moments,  and  come  to  me  here,  as  I  desire  to 
have  a  word  with  her." 

The  servant  bowed  and  departed,  leaving  his  master 
standing  motionless  in  an  attitude  significant  of  a 
profound  Aveariness,  which  yielded  its  claim  upon  his 
physical  being  to  the  controlling  demands  of  his 
anxious  and  apprehensive  spirit.  Leaning  with  one 
arm  upon  the  mantel,  he  partially  rested  his  exhausted 
body,  although  the  keen,  alert  expression  of  the  dark 
gray  eyes  bespoke  a  thoroughly  active  condition  of 
the  mind  which  prohibited  rest. 

A  low  knock  at  the  door  interrupted  the  stillness  of 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  1 

the  room,  and  disturbed  his  immobility.  As  he  gave 
permission  to  enter  he  moved  forward  and  placed 
a  seat  for  the  new-comer  nearly  opposite  his  own 
large  study-chair. 

The  woman  who  entered  wore  the  dress  of  a  trained 
nurse,  and  the  simplicity  of  the  garb  well  became  the 
sweet  Quaker-like  face  and  the  quiet,  gentle  bearing 
of  its  wearer.  The  gravity  of  the  doctor's  counte- 
nance was  deeply  reflected  on  that  of  the  nurse,  and 
with  his  keen  professional  glance  Dr.  Lamar  at  once 
divined  that  an  unusual  demand  had  been  made  upon 
her  necessarily  repressed  sympathies. 

"  Your  patient  is  sleeping,  Miss  Vorce  ?  "  he  asked 
after  a  silent  bow  of  greeting  had  been  interchanged 
between  them. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  the  woman  replied,  with  the  brevity 
incidental  to  her  training. 

"  She  has  had  a  bad  attack  since  I  left  this 
afternoon  ?  " 

"  Very  bad  indeed,  sir ;  her  suffering  was  terrible." 

"  And  she  would  take  no  sedative  ?  " 

"  No,  sir." 

Dr.  Lamar  drew  a  deep  sigh. 

"  How  long  has  she  been  sleeping  ?" 

With  that  habit  of  precision  which  is  so  strongly 
inculcated  in  those  of  her  profession,  the  nurse 


8  DOCTOR  LAMAR, 

drew  from  her  belt  a  small  silver  watch  and  glanced 
at  it. 

"  Mrs.  Lamar  went  to  sleep  at  five  minutes  of  six 
o'clock,"  she  replied ;  "  it  is  now  ten  minutes  after 
seven ;  she  has  therefore  been  sleeping  an  hour  and  a 
quarter.  She  was  greatly  exhausted,  and  may,  I 
think,  sleep  some  time  longer." 

"Yes;  thank  you,  Miss  Vorce.  That  is  all,  I 
believe.  Will  you  be  so  good  as  to  let  me  know  when 
she  wakes  ?  I  shall  not  go  out  again  to-night,  I  think." 

He  rose  and  held  the  door  open  while  the  soft- 
footed  woman  passed  out ;  then,  returning,  he  threw 
himself  again  wearily  into  his  arm-chair,  and  gazed 
gloomily  into  the  fire. 

It  was  seldom  that  his  strong  soul  succumbed  to  the 
force  of  circumstances  sufficiently  to  allow  depression 
to  master  his  naturally  buoyant  temperament ;  but 
to-night  he  felt  hopeless,  despondent,  and  unnerved. 
He  was  in  a  thoroughly  exhausted  condition  of  mind 
and  body.  The  undermining  influence  of  the  spring 
weather  had  produced  its  usual  deleterious  effect 
upon  people's  health,  and  the  demands  upon  his  time 
and  strength  had  been  unwontedly  severe.  In  addi- 
tion to  which  he  had  borne  the  burden  of  his  wife's 
illness  —  an  illness  in  whose  terrible  agonies  none 
could  so  thoroughly  sympathize  as  he,  the  well- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  9 

instructed  physician.  Before  his  perfect  comprehen- 
sion of  their  potency  even  he,  endowed  as  he  was 
with  a  more  than  ordinary  share  of  masculine 
strength,  shrank  in  horror,  and  the  thought  of  their 
long-continued  attacks  upon  his  wife's  feeble  frame 
was  a  constant  torture  to  him. 

A  cancer  of  rapid  growth  had  been  eating  its 
loathsome  way  into  Laura  Lamar's  life  for  months 
past,  though,  prompted  by  the  pride  which  induces 
the  victims  of  this  most  awful  disease  to  conceal  its 
presence  from  even  the  nearest  and  dearest,  she  had 
carefully  withheld  her  secret  from  her  husband  until 
longer  concealment  had  been  rendered  impossible. 
The  monster  had  now  reached  the  last  stages  of  its 
destructive  and  excruciating  progress  ;  but  its  final 
triumph  over  the  poor,  writhing  flesh,  for  which  — 
though  its  result  must,  as  she  well  knew,  mean  her 
own  death  —  Laura  Lainar  longed  with  vain  craving 
for  rest,  was  unmercifully  and  torturingly  delayed. 

Retrospection  lies  hidden  within  the  kindling  logs 
of  a  wood-fire.  This  evening,  as  the  spent  and 
exhausted  physician  sat  before  his  blazing  hearth, 
active  thought  seemed  no  longer  within  his  power. 
His  mind  appeared  to  be  mere  vacuity,  a  deserted 
stage  upon  which  presently  memory  began  to  marshal 
her  forces,  and,  in  a  sort  of  haze,  present  to  his  inert 


10  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

vision  a  representation  of  scenes  and  actions  long 
since  dead  and  forgotten. 

It  is  singular,  considering  the  influence  they  have 
upon  our  lives,  how  little  prone  we  are  to  reflect  upon 
the  combination  of  events,  the  separate  links  of 
chance  and  circumstance  which  go  to  the  making  up 
of  that  strange  and  monstrous  coil  we  call  life.  How 
easily  we  accept  the  drift  of  our  existence  without 
pausing  to  consider  how  its  trend  has  been  influenced 
by  the  veriest  trifles. 

Perhaps  no  life  had  ever  been  more  apparently  a 
thing  of  chance  than  that  of  Philip  Lamar.  Partially 
orphaned  when  a  mere  child  by  the  loss  of  his  father, 
whose  death  had  been  one  of  the  sad  results  of  a 
railway  accident,  he  had  been  left  to  the  care  and 
guidance  of  his  mother,  a  flighty,  inconsequent  sort 
of  creature.  Her  widowhood  had  been  rendered 
supportable  to  her  by  reason  of  its  attendant  conse- 
quences :  an  ample  fortune  and  untrammelled  liberty. 
Her  nature  was  pre-eminently  sentimental,  and,  receiv- 
ing scant  encouragement  for  the  indulgence  of  its 
ethereal  tendencies  from  the  prosaic  character  of  her 
American  surroundings,  she  sought  more  congenial 
environment  in  the  more  aesthetic  atmosphere  of 
foreign  cities. 

In  Dresden  she  met  a  handsome  Italian  fortune- 


DOCTOR  LAMAIL  11 

hunter ;  a  worthless,  empty-headed  foreigner,  with 
absolutely  nothing  to  recommend  him  to  a  woman  of 
sense,  though  his  superficial  romanticism,  his  airy 
deferential  gallantry,  and  his  possession  of  a  title, 
appealed  successfully  to  the  imagination  of  the  poor, 
weak  little  widow.  She  married  him,  and  at  once 
regretted  her  folly.  Even  to  her  rather  dense, 
childish  perceptions  it  became  immediately  evident 
that  she  had  made  a  fatal  mistake.  She  had  sacrificed 
independence  for  subjection,  the  liberty  of  a  well- 
dowered  widow  for  the  helplessness  of  a  timid, 
frightened  slave.  She  found  herself  completely 
under  the  dominion  of  a  character  which,  if  no 
stronger  than  her  own,  outrivalled  it  in  obstinacy  and 
unscrupulousness. 

The  natural  consequence  of  the  marriage  to  Philip 
was  a  boarding-school,  and  notwithstanding  the  lad's 
earnest,  heart-broken  protests  he  was  sent  to  a  Ger- 
man Institut.  He  was  a  delicate,  home-loving  child, 
and  the  dreariness  and  loneliness  of  that  first  period 
of  school-life  swept  over  him  again  as  the  fire 
re-illumined  the  dark,  forgotten  corners  of  memory. 

His  whole  soul  had  revolted  at  the  needless  cruelty 
of  his  exile,  and  his  sensitive  nature,  feeling  itself 
outraged,  had  rebelled  fiercely  against  the  mother  who 
had  abandoned  her  child  to.  the  care  of  strangers. 


12  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Sensitive  natures  become  warped  more  easily  than  un- 
impressionable ones.  During  those  first  few  weeks  of 
homesickness  and  miserable  suffering,  that  of  Philip 
Lainar  underwent  so  radical  a  change  that  when,  some 
six  months  after  his  entrance  into  the  Institut,  the 
Comtessa  Ventura  paid  her  son  a  visit,  she  was 
shocked  at  the  alteration  which  had  taken  place  in 
him.  The  clinging,  affectionate  child  had  degener- 
ated into  a  stubborn,  unresponsive  boy,  who  turned 
a  sullen  cheek  to  her  caress  and  withdrew  himself 
stiffly  from  her  embrace. 

She  herself  had  done  violence  to  the  sacred  bond 
between  them,  and  he  could  not  forget  her  treason  to 
him.  The  childish  sense  of  injustice  manifested  itself 
in  such  indifference  of  demeanor  that  even  the  vain 
little  heart  of  the  Comtessa  felt  a  touch  of  anguish. 
But  she  was  now  powerless  to  remedy  the  evil  she 
had  effected.  She  had  placed  herself  under  the  rule 
of  a  tyrant,  and  Avas  not  possessed  of  sufficient  force 
of  character  to  extricate  herself  from  her  bondage. 

How  vividly  Dr.  Lamar  recalled  the  final  appeal  he 
had  made  to  her  maternal  tenderness !  As  the  Com- 
tessa had  risen  to  take  her  departure  a  terrible  wave 
of  homesickness  swept  over  the  lad,  vanquishing  the 
sullen  spirit  that  had  slowly  been  gaining  ground 
within  him  during  six  long  weary  months,  and  strip- 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  13 

ping  him  of  the  armor  of  pride  in  which  he  had 
sought  to  shield  his  poor,  sore  little  heart. 

When,  with  quivering  lips  and  streaming  eyes  — 
for  separation  from  her  boy  was  a  real  grief  to 
her  —  the  Comtessa  stooped  to  kiss  him  good-by, 
his  spirit  had  succumbed.  Throwing  his  arms  pas- 
sionately about  her  neck,  he  burst  into  a  flood  of 
tears. 

"  Mamma,  mamma,"  he  cried,  "  take  me  with  you ! 
Oh,  do  take  me,  mamma!  I  am  so  lonely  with  all 
these  nasty  foreigners  ! " 

To  say  the  appeal  did  not  touch  the  mother's  heart 
would  be  false.  What  love  her  pitiful  little  nature 
was  capable  of  belonged  to  her  boy,  but  her  fear  of 
her  husband  far  outweighed  any  other  consideration 
in  life,  and  his  fiats  were  never-to-be-contested  decrees 
with  her. 

Even  at  this  late  day  a  shiver  passed  over  Dr. 
Lamar  at  the  recollection  of  the  desperate  misery 
which  had  overwhelmed  him  at  the  non-success  of  this 
final  supplication.  In  his  maturer  judgments  he  had 
become  more  lenient  toward  the  poor  little  Comtessa, 
who  had  long  since  passed  away,  only  too  glad  to  lay 
down  the  life  which  had  grown  so  wearisome  a  bur- 
den. But  love  and  confidence  on  his  part  had  been 
done  to  death ;  and  though  the  man  had  come  to  pity 


14  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

the  weakness  of  the  woman's  nature,  the  son  had 
never  been  able  to  overcome  the  feeling  of  estrange- 
ment from  the  mother. 

From  the  preparatory  school  the  boy  went  to  Heidel- 
berg, and  there  acquired  the  habit  of  free  thought. 
Xo  home  training  had  prepared  his  mind  for  the 
reception  of  divine  truths ;  no  loving  voice  had 
whispered  to  him  of  faith  as  a  necessary  quality 
of  the  mind  ;  no  tender  hand  had  cultivated  the 
susceptible  soil  of  his  young  soul  and  planted  there 
the  germs  of  belief.  He  appeared  at  Heidelberg 
without  a  bias  or  tendency.  His  mind  was  as  free 
from  inculcated  maxims  of  theology,  from  instructed 
modes  of  belief,  as  are  the  pure  white  leaves  of  the 
sermon-book  before  man  records  his  subtilties  of 
thought  and  doctrine  upon  them. 

Xo  ground  was  ever  better  adapted  for  the  recep- 
tion of  the  teachings  of  the  great  German  free- 
thinkers than  was  his  mind.  Xo  disciple  was  ever 
more  read}-  than  he  to  submit  to  their  guidance,  and 
sign  that  contract  with  reason  which  scoffs  at  hypoth- 
esis, and  scorns  the  supernatural ;  whose  initial  letter 
is  doubt,  and  terminal,  annihilation.  His  entrance 
into  the  ever-increasing  ranks  of  rationalists  was 
attended  by  no  conflict  of  mind  and  soul,  by  no 
trampling  under  foot  of  precious,  long-treasured 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  15 

traditions.  There  was  in  his  case  no  agony  of 
spirit  to  endure,  no  wrenching  asunder  of  the  bonds 
of  faith,  no  rising  superior  to  superstition.  Religion 
and  theology  had  not  been  included  in  the  curriculum 
of  his  preparatory  school.  The  Bible  was  as  a  book 
written  in  an  unfamiliar  tongue,  neither  more  sacred 
than  the  Koran,  nor  half  as  highly  prized  and  well 
beloved  as  Horace. 

He  took  the  entire  course  at  Heidelberg,  lingering, 
as  long  as  he  could  find  reasonable  excuse  for  so  doing, 
in  the  old  town  which  had  grown  inexpressibly  dear 
to  him.  His  mother  died  during  his  first  year  at  the 
University,  a  fact  which  affected  him  but  little,  ex- 
cepting as  he  became  her  reversionary  legatee.  He 
chose  the  profession  of  medicine,  and  left  Heidelberg 
at  the  age  of  twenty-four  to  walk  the  hospitals  of 
Paris  and  London,  being  possessed  of  a  very  fair 
fortune,  which,  however,  in  his  case,  offered  no  im- 
pediment to  the  pursuance  of  his  profession,  which 
he  loved  above  all  things  on  earth.  The  treasures  of 
heaven  he  failed  of  belief  in. 

It  is  a  well-established  fact  that  the  study  of 
the  sciences  tends  to  confirm,  if  indeed  it  does  not 
inculcate,  a  rationalistic  belief.  The  germs  of 
agnosticism  generated  by  his  environment  found 
ample  nourishment  in  the  materialistic  character 


16  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

x 

of  Lamar's  profession.  As  lie  progressed  in  the 
study  of  medicine,  proven  facts  alone  became  to  him 
things  of  moment ;  spiritualistic  hypotheses  he  had 
neither  the  time  nor  the  inclination  to  deal  with. 

His  nature  Avas  essentially  a  grave  one.  Even  in 
childhood  he  had  shown  a  steadiness  of  purpose,  a 
balance  of  mind  that  had  made  him  an  object  of  won- 
der to  his  wayward  and  capricious  little  mother.  He 
had  but  little  sympathy  with  the  foreign  natures  of 
the  lads  who  were  his  school-fellows,  and  at  Heidel- 
berg had  preferred  his  pipe  and  books  to  the  com- 
pany of  the  giddy-pated  students  whose  larks  and 
amusements  aroused  his  contempt. 

One  friendship  he  formed,  and  one  only.  This 
was  with  a  young  Englishman,  the  son  of  a  country 
clergyman.  Brought  \\p  in  strict  adhesion  to  the 
tenets  of  the  Church  of  England,  Robert  Wyndham 
naturally  held  views  upon  the  final  end  of  man  as 
diametrically  opposed  to  those  of  Lamar  as  they 
could  well  be.  Nevertheless,  the  bond  uniting  them 
was  a  strong  one,  —  a  singular  exemplification  of  the 
law  of  contrast,  for  the  natures  of  the  two  men  were 
widely  different. 

There  was  about  Wyndham  a  charming  atmosphere 
of  breeziness,  of  gayety  and  frankness,  which  was  a 
sure  cachet  to  popularity;  while  the  reserved,  some- 


DOCTOR  LAM  A  JR.  17 

what  stern  manner  of  Lamar  seldom  attracted  a 
casual  acquaintance,  and  repelled,  rather  than  invited, 
familiarity.  Measured  by  experience,  and  proved 
by  actual  test,  however,  the  American  possessed  a 
breadth  and  generosity  of  character  with  which  the 
Englishman  could  not  compete. 

Wyndham  expected  to  enter  the  Diplomatic  Ser- 
vice, and,  having  graduated  from  Oxford,  had  gone 
abroad  with  a  purpose  of  perfecting  himself  in  for- 
eign tongues.  Notwithstanding  the  fact  that  his 
career  in  life  had  been  decided  upon,  he  showed  a 
strong  tendency  toward  the  ministry,  which  aroused 
all  Lamar's  combativeness,  and  to  overcome  which 
the  latter  devoted  much  time  and  persuasion. 

"  You  have  a  future  in  your  country's  service,"  he 
would  argue,  "  in  which  you  may  attain  eminence 
and  renown.  In  that  career  you  may  be  of  positive 
benefit  to  your  fellow-creatures,  and  render  to  Eng- 
land that  duty  which  every  child  owes  its  fatherland. 
As  a  preacher  of  fables,  a  disseminator  of  doubtful 
doctrines,  you  would  be  merely  a  panderer  to  the 
superstitious  element  in  mankind,  a  promulgator  of 
unauthenticated  and  fictitious  fabrications." 

It  was  with  real  pain  and  regret  on  both  sides  that 
the  final  separation  came  upon  the  two  men,  when  at 
last  Lamar  decided  to  return  and  establish  himself 


18  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

in  America.     Both  felt  the  uncertainty  of  a  future 
meeting,  and  the  parting  was  a  sad  one. 

As,  upon  this  evening,  Lamar  sat  gazing  into  the 
fire,  sick  at  heart  and  well-nigh  discouraged,  he  felt 
a  sudden  yearning  for  a  sight  of  his  friend's  cheery 
face,  for  a  clasp  of  that  strong  hand  which  had  not 
grasped  his  for  six  long  years. 

Accompanying  the  recollection  of  his  parting  with 
Wyndham  came  another  memory:  that  of  his  first 
meeting  with  the  woman  who  was  now  his  wife,  and 
who  would  so  soon  be  —  what  ?  He  put  the  question 
from  him  — his  mind  was  unfit  to-night  to  cope  with 
problems. 

Love  and  marriage  had  been  small  factors  in  the 
young  physician's  plan  of  life  up  to  the  time  of  his 
return  to  America.  Perhaps  his  nature  was  some- 
what cold,  or  dormant,  or  preoccupied.  At  all  events 
his  marriage,  which  was  after  all  the  natural  conse- 
quence of  events,  had  been  to  him  a  surprise  from 
which  even  now  he  had  scarce  recovered. 

The  steamer  on  which  he  had  taken  his  homeward 
passage  was  two  days  out  from  Liverpool  when,  one 
morning  as  Lamar  was  sitting  alone,  smoking  and 
thinking  of  the  life  upon  which  he  had  turned  his 
back  forever,  the  ship's  surgeon  approached  and 
accosted  him. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  19 

"Pardon  me,  sir,"  he  said,  "but  I  believe  I  have 
the  honor  of  addressing  Dr.  Lamar  ?  " 

Lamar  bowed. 

"I  have  ventured  to  come  and  ask  a  favor  of  you," 
the  surgeon  continued.  "  I  have  a  patient  on  board 
who  is  very  ill  indeed.  The  final  stages  of  Bright's 
disease.  Why  he  ever  undertook  the  journey  I  can- 
not imagine.  He  is  accompanied  by  his  daughter 
and  valet,  and  I  am  afraid  cannot  last  until  we 
reach  New  York.  Will  you  be  good  enough  to  give 
me  the  benefit  of  your  advice  in  consultation  ?  I 
shall  be  extremely  obliged." 

Lamar  assented  cordially ;  and  together  the  two 
men  made  their  way  to  the  sick  man's  stateroom. 

A  girl  was  seated  •  beside  the  berth,  who  rose  as 
they  entered.  A  brief  presentation  made  Lamar 
acquainted  with  her  name. 

"  Miss  Kockwood,  this  is  the  gentleman  of  whom  I 
was  speaking,  Dr.  Lamar." 

A  short  examination  sufficed  to  show  the  latter 
that  the  ship's  surgeon  had  diagnosed  the  case  cor- 
rectly. Bright's  disease,  in  its  last  stage,  was  making 
sad  havoc  of  the  sufferer's  plans  for  dying  in  his 
native  land.  Lamar  made  a  few  suggestions  for 
Mr.  Rockwood's  relief,  and  gave  constant  and  valu- 
able aid  to  the  daughter  during  the  few  days  of 


20  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

life  which  yet  remained  to  her  father,  —  days  which 
in  their  common  ministration  brought  Laura  Rock- 
wood  and  Philip  Lamar  more  closely  together  than 
weeks  of  ordinary  intercourse  would  have  done. 

Upon  the  sixth  day  out  Mr.  Rockwood  died. 
Illness  and  death  at  sea  are  experiences  sufficient 
to  test  the  stoutest  nerves,  and  Laura  Rockwood, 
who,  during  the  awful  agonies  which  attended  her 
father's  last  hours,  had  shown  a  strength  of  character 
and  firmness  of  self-control  which  aroused  Philip 
Lamar's  wonder  and  admiration,  appeared  completely 
overwhelmed  with  grief  and  despair  when  the  end 
came. 

Lamar  did  all  in  his  power  to  assuage  her  sorrow, 
but  found  himself  tongue-tied  and  helpless.  He  pos- 
sessed no  stock-in-trade  of  ready  phrases  calculated 
for  such  emergencies ;  no  glib  assurances  of  a  future 
meeting  beyond  the  grave,  or  of  a  bettered  condition 
of  things  for  him  whose  life-torch  had  just  expired, 
rolled  smoothly  from  his  lips. 

All  he  could  do  or  express  for  the  stricken  girl  he 
did;  but  that  all  was  pitifully  small  in  his  own 
eyes.  Having  assisted  in  the  final  arrangements, 
attended  to  the  embalming  of  the  body,  and  so  forth, 
he  took  Laura  Rockwood's  hand  in  his,  and  held  it 
in  a  close,  warm  clasp,  indicative  of  the  sympathy  he 
felt  for  her,  saying  simply,  — 


DOCTOR  LAMAIt.  21 

"Miss  Rockwood,  I  wish  from  the  depth  of  my 
heart  I  might  have  spared  you  this  great  sorrow." 

He  was  a  little  startled  by  her  reply.  He  had 
thought  religious  belief  an  inherent  and  inseparable 
quality  of  the  female  mind,  and  was  surprised  and 
perhaps  a  trifle  shocked  at  the  discovery  of  this 
moral  deficiency  in  her,  as  if  she  had  betrayed  to 
him  the  possession  of  a  physical  infirmity. 

"Thank  you,"  she  said  brokenly.  Then,  with 
some  passion  stirring  her  voice :  "  Oh,  Dr.  Lamar, 
you  have  little  idea  how  horrible  a  thing  death  is  to 
me,  or  how  bereft  I  feel  myself.  I  am  without 
belief  in  a  hereafter,  and  can  hope  for  no  reunion 
beyond  the  grave  !  Oh,  what  a  terribly  uncompromis- 
ing thing  is  my  scepticism  !  It  grants  no  concessions 
of  hope,  allows  no  loophole  through  which  a  ray  of 
divine  light  may  penetrate  to  cheer  my  gloom.  It 
says  to  me  sternly,  '  You  know  nothing  of  the  im- 
material, have  no  proof  of  the  so-called  spiritual. 
Immortality  is  a  sweet-sounding  collocation  of  sylla- 
bles, as  intangible  and  ephemeral  as  a  sensuous  strain 
of  music;  the  warpless,  unsubstantial  fabric  of  the 
sentimentalist's  dream  !  It  has  no  palpability  to  the 
touch,  and  fades  into  thin  air  before  the  strong  light 
of  science.'  I  know  that  my  disbelief,  my  atheism,  is 
well  founded,  I  have  often  gloried  in  my  emancipa- 


22  DOCTOR  LAM  All. 

tion  from  the  bonds  and  shackles  of  religious  super- 
stitions, and  congratulated  myself  that  I  had  risen 
above  the  mental  weakness  of  my  sex.  Yet  now,  my 
friend,  in  the  face  of  the  first  great  sorrow  I  have 
ever  known,  I  would  give  ten,  yes,  twenty  years  of 
my  life,  to  be  wrapped  hard  and  fast  in  the  thraldom 
of  that  beautiful  old  tale  of  Christianity,  and  to  feel 
the  certainty  that  I  and  my  father  are  to  meet  again ! " 

This  outburst  recurred  to  Philip  Lam'ar  as  he  sat 
and  awaited  the  summons  to  his  wife's  chamber; 
for  it  is  scarcely  necessary  to  explain  that,  attracted 
by  the  strong  congeniality  of  mind  which  existed 
between  them,  he  had  married  Laura  Rockwood 
within  a  few  months  of  their  return  to  America. 

Their  six  years  of  married  life  had  been  calm, 
happy,  and  unruffled  by  any  storm.  Their  mutual 
attachment,  while  it  lacked  the  intenser  touch  of 
passion  to  glorify  it,  was  yet  a  very  satisfactory 
makeshift  to  two  natures,  neither  of  which  had 
experience  of  the  sublimer  emotion  which  their 
union  missed.  They  had  come  to  know  and  under- 
stand one  another  thoroughly,  with  a  comprehension 
which  is  rarely  attained  between  man  and  woman ; 
their  intellectual  accord  was  perfect,  and  the  bond 
existing  between  them  was  more  that  of  ideal  and 
perfect  friendship  than  that  of  husband  and  wife. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  23 

And  now  she  was  dying !  The  word  meant  so 
much  to  him.  So  much  more  than  to  ordinary  men. 
It  meant  that  that  great,  strong  woman's  soul  was  to 
be  blotted  out  forever  from  existence ;  that  her 
active,  energetic  mind  was  to  die,  not  that  it  was  to 
be  emancipated  from  the  bondage  and  restraint  of 
the  body ;  that  the  fund  of  knowledge  which  she,  an 
eager  student,  had  so  carefully  acquired  was  to  be 
buried,  like  a  hidden  treasure,  in  six  feet  of  earth ; 
that  the  long  discipline  of  her  faculties,  the  elaborate 
training  of  her  mind,  were,  in  the  face  of  annihilation, 
a  total  waste  of  time,  since  the  worm  feeds  as  well 
on  uncultivated  as  cultivated  brains  ;  that  she,  his 
valued  comrade,  his  trusted  friend  and  scholarly 
companion,  was  to  be  separated  from  him  for- 
ever by  a  gulf  which  even  death  itself  could  not 
bridge. 

His  realization  of  what  her  loss  would  mean  to 
him  was  so  true  that  for  a  moment,  as  he  recollected 
the  passionate  cry  evoked  from  her  sore  heart  by  the 
loss  of  her  beloved  father,  regret  and  anticipated 
loneliness  stirred  his  heart  into  echoing  her  wish. 
Ah  !  that  he  possessed  the  consolation  of  feeling  that 
this  life  were  but  a  preparatory  school,  that  in  that 
much-lauded  hereafter  he  and  she  might  again  be 
united  to  carry  on  the  common  work  of  intellectual 


24  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

cultivation  which  had  been  their  greatest  pleasure 
here. 

The  wish  was  but  an  evanescent  impulse,  scarcely 
born  ere  it  died.  The  next  moment  lie  knew  and 
confessed  to  himself  that  not  even  for  the  hope  of 
meeting  her,  whose  companionship  he  prized  beyond 
any  of  the  gifts  life  had  vouchsafed  him,  would 
he  sacrifice  the  glorious  privilege  of  untrammelled 
thought. 

A  knock  at  the  door  interrupted  his  revery. 

"Dinner  is  served,  sir,"  his  butler  announced,  in 
that  hushed  tone  which  is  contagious  from  the  atmos- 
phere of  a  house  of  illness. 

"Very  well,  James.  Miss  Vorce  has  sent  me  no 
message  ?  " 

"None,  sir." 

Dr.  Lamar  rose  heavily,  and  proceeded  to  the 
lonely  dining-room,  where  his  solitary  meal  was  about 
half  finished  when  a  summons  reached  him. 

"Miss  Vorce  sends  down  to  say  that  Mrs.  Lamar  is 
awake,  and  asks  to  see  you,  sir." 

Without  a  moment's  delay  Lamar  responded  to  the 
call.  His  heart  felt  like  lead  in  his  breast  as  he 
traversed  the  silent  hall,  and  mounted  the  stairs.  As 
he  paused  for  an  instant  outside  his  wife's  door,  he 
drew  himself  up  with  a  slight  motion,  as  of  one  who 


DOCTOR   LAMA1L  25 

seeks  to  throw  off  an  oppressive  burden,  and  the 
weary,  harassed  look,  which  his  face  had  worn  dis- 
appeared before  a  more  cheerful  expression  as  he 
turned  the  handle  softly,  and  entered  the  sick- 
room. 


26  DOCTOR  LAMAli. 


CHAPTER   II. 

THE  general  aspect  of  chambers  of  sickness  pre- 
sided over  by  nurses  trained  to  their  profession  is 
pretty  much  the  same.  There  is  the  room  itself 
stripped  of  all  unnecessary  detail,  its  shaded  windows 
unshrouded  by  their  accustomed  draperies ;  the  dim 
half-light;  the  small  table,  bearing  its  methodical 
arrangement  of  vials  and  glasses ;  the  white  bed, 
carefully  adjusted  as  to  the  avoidance  of  draughts; 
the  white-capped  nurse  in  her  low  chair  by  its  side ; 
and  finally,  the  invalid  herself.  A  very  common 
accompaniment  of  these  sad  scenes  of  suffering  is  a 
pervading  atmosphere  of  carbolic  disinfectant.  This 
was  especially  noticeable  in  Mrs.  Lamar's  chamber. 

As  Dr.  Lamar  entered,  the  nurse  rose  and  stood 
silently  respectful,  awaiting  orders.  These  were 
conveyed  in  a  slight  motion  of  the  doctor's  head, 
signifying  a  temporary  dismissal. 

At  the  sound  of  his  step  the  invalid's  eyes  had 
opened,  and  as  he  approached  the  bed  a  warm  light 
of  greeting  overcame,  for  a  moment,  the  look  of  pain 
which  was  their  constant  expression. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  27 

It  was  significant  of  his  temperate  regard  for  her 
that  Lainar  contented  himself  with  no  warmer 
embrace  than  a  close  clasp  of  the  thin,  white  fingers, 
and  a  gentle  kiss  upon  the  pale  brow.  Even  this 
latter  was  an  unusual  demonstration,  a  concession  to 
the  yearning  tide  of  sympathy  with  which,  by  reason 
of  her  piteous  condition,  his  strong  heart  overflowed. 

"  My  poor  girl ! "  he  said,  in  the  low,  grave  voice 
which  was  such  grateful  music  to  many  a  sufferer's 
ear.  "  Miss  Vorce  tells  me  you  have  had  a  hard 
afternoon." 

He  drew  the  nurse's  abandoned  chair  close  to  the 
bedside  and  sat  down,  still  holding  the  long,  slender 
hand  in  his  broad  clasp. 

"  Ah,  Philip,  so  hard  —  so  hard,"  the  invalid 
replied  with  a  little  pause  delaying  the  repetition  of 
the  phrase.  "  Had  I  needed  convincing  of  the 
unreality  of  the  Christ,  this  afternoon's  tortures  had 
been  sufficient.  No  merciful  God,  cognizant  of  his 
creatures'  welfare  and  loving  them  with  any  degree 
of  tenderness,  could  have  permitted  such  sufferings  to 
one  who  has  never  wantonly  injured  a  fellow-being. 
Philip,  my  husband,  it  cannot  last  much  longer  ?  " 

There  was  an  eager  desire  for  assurance  in  her 
voice,  but  the  physician  was  powerless  to  bestow  it. 
He  shook  his  head  sadly. 


28  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

"I  cannot  say,"  he  replied;  "the  nature  of  the 
disease  is  so  deceptive  that  it  is  impossible  to  predict 
with  any  degree  of  certainty.  But,  Laura,  once  more 
let  me  urge  upon  you  the  value  of  opiates.  How 
much  terrible  suffering  you  might  be  spared  if  you 
would  but  submit  to  the  use  of  morphine." 

A  very  determined  look  crept  over  Laura  Lamar's 
face  —  a  look  which  her  husband  knew  to  be  the 
exponent  of  a  firm  resolve. 

"No,"  she  said  resolutely;  "that,  never  but  once. 
Never,  while  I  can  endure,  will  I  consent  to  be 
voluntarily  deprived  of  my  reason.  It  is  the  one 
possession  I  rank  above  all  others,  and  I  will  never 
submit  to  clouding  it,  even  to  escape  such  agony  as  I 
have  undergone  to-day.  There  may  come  a  time  — 
for  I  have  discovered,  alas,  that  I  am  a  coward  before 
the  terrors  of  pain  —  when  I  shall  resort  to  it.  I 
cannot  tell  —  but,  Philip  — " 

Her  speech  was  suddenly  strangled  by  a  fresh 
accession  of  suffering.  She  withdrew  her  hand 
sharply  from  her  husband's  and  knitted  its  ringers 
into  those  of  its  fellow,  while  her  quivering  body 
writhed  and  twisted  in  the  paroxysm.  Great  beads 
of  sweat  stood  on  her  brow,  her  face  was  contorted 
with  agony,  and  her  livid  lips  pressed  hard  upon  each 
other  to  prevent  the  escape  of  the  moans  of  anguish 


DOCTOR  LAM  Alt.  29 

which  shamed  her  strong  spirit.  Her  deep  brown 
eyes  —  the  one  beauty  in  her  rather  plain  face  — 
gazed  into  her  husband's  with  such  a  look  of  dumb, 
passionate  entreaty  that  he  .turned  away,  unable  to 
meet  their  look. 

A  hard,  rebellious  expression  came  over  his  face,  as 
he  moved  to  the  table  to  seek  some  appliance  with 
which  to  alleviate  her  suffering. 

"A  God!"  she  heard  him  mutter;  "a  God,  who 
could  look  on  and  permit  such  cursed  torture  when  by 
a  touch  he  could  end  it !  A  merciful  God,  indeed  !  " 

When  the  paroxysm  had  passed,  and  her  husband 
was  again  seated  by  her  side,  Laura  Lainar  leaned 
forward  a  little,  and  drew  his  hand  into  both  her  own. 

"  Philip,"  she  said  with  great  calmness,  "  you 
believe  that  death  ends  life  ?  " 

"  Surely ! "  he  replied,  a  little  surprised  at  the 
question  ;  "  do  you  doubt  it  ?  " 

"  Not  for  one  instant.  But  I  wanted  your  assur- 
ance, for  I  am  going  to  put  your  rationalism  to  the 
proof.  Do  you  remember  long  ago,  when  AVC  were  first 
married,  that  you  one  day  brought  me  a  gift  which  you 
said  was  a  more  precious  possession  than  the  rarest 
jewel  ?  It  was  only  a  little  white  powder  wrapped 
in  a  bit  of  paper  and  labelled  '  Poison.'  You  told  me 
you  were  never  parted  from  a  similar  packet,  and  that 


30  DOCTOR   LAM  All. 

its  value  could  only  be  proved  by  circumstances.  You 
asked  me  to  carry  it  about  with  me  on  my  person, 
and  in  case  of  need,  if  any  accident  were  to  befall 
me  where  torture  becaine  unendurable  and  ultimate 
destruction  inevitable,  to  pour  this  little  powder  on 
my  tongue.  The  instructions  were  simple ;  you 
remember  them  ?  " 

Lamar  bowed  his  head.  Yes,  he  remembered 
perfectly.  Indeed,  a  similar  packet  was  even  now 
reposing  in  his  pocket. 

The  low  voice  went  on. 

"  For  a  long  time  I  obeyed  your  wish  and  wore  the 
packet  upon  my  person ;  but  one  day  I  lost  it,  and  it 
has  never  been  replaced."  She  paused  a  moment  to 
await  the  termination  of  another  spasm,  then  con- 
tinued :  "  Philip,  it  is  hard  to  part  with  you,  my  dear ; 
I  had  planned  such  a  long  life  for  us  together,  and  I 
hate  to  go  with  so  little  accomplished.  If  I  thought 
there  was  ever  so  slight  a  chance  for  me  I  could  bear 
this  horrible  suffering  —  yes,  for  the  sake  of  a  longer 
term  of  life,  I  could  endure  even  a  greater  amount  of 
agony,  for  I  love  life ;  but  when  I  feel  that  at  best  my 
stay  is  limited  to  a  few  weeks,  and  that  those  weeks 
are  to  be  periods  of  ever-increasing  torture,  I  can  see 
no  inducement  to  linger." 

She  lay  very  still,  looking  off  into  vacancy,  while 


DOCTOR  LAM  All.  31 

a  dark  foreboding  of  what  she  was  about  to  request 
filled  her  husband's  mind  with  uneasiness.  He  moved 
somewhat  restlessly  in  his  chair,  and  then  bent  a  little 
closer  to  her. 

"  Laura,"  he  said  gravely,  "  you  would  not  ask  of 
me  anything  you  would  shrink  from  doing  yourself  ?  " 

She  turned  her  soft  brown  eyes  fully  upon  his  gray 
ones,  and  smoothed  his  hand  gently  between  her  own. 

"No,"  she  said  reflectively,  "no,  I  think  not,  I 
think  not.  I  should  have  fulfilled  your  wishes  if 
I  had  seen  you  hemmed  into  a  burning  car  with  no 
hope  of  rescue.  If  you  could  not  have  reached  your 
own  little  packet,  I  should  have  given  you  mine, 
I  think." 

A  little  shudder  crept  over  the  physician.  Accus- 
tomed as  he  was  to  the  contemplation  of  death,  his 
mission  was  to  stay,  not  to  hasten,  its  coming ;  and  he 
shrank  nervously  from  the  obligation  which  he  felt 
was  about  to  be  laid  upon  liim.  A  sudden  impulse 
assailed  him.  He  felt  that  he  could  not  hear  and 
respond  to  the  request  which  he  knew  to  be  forth- 
coming; he  rose  impulsively  from  his  chair. 

"Laura,"  he  said,  "don't  ask  it!  Don't,  don't!  I 
could  not  do  it !  I  am  a  coward,  I  grant ;  but  after 
all,  the  old  prejudices  are  hard  to  shake  off.  It  would 
seem  like  murder.  I  could  not  do  it." 


32  DOCTOR  LAMAli. 

The  sick  woman  smiled,  a  little  sarcastically  per- 
haps, while  there  was  a  genuine  ring  of  disappoint- 
ment in  her  voice. 

"  Let  us  say  no  more  about  it,  then,  dear.  I  will 
have  you  do  nothing  to  worry  you  afterwards.  But, 
Philip,  your  faith  in  the  old  doctrines  is  stronger 
than  I  had  imagined." 

The  man's  face  flushed.  The  accusation  was  bitter 
of  endurance  to  him,  the  head  and  front  of  the 
rationalistic  school  in  America. 

"Laura,"  he  cried,  "you  misjudge  me.  My  reason 
for  not  acceding  to  your  wish  is  quite  independent  of 
creed  or  doctrine." 

"  And  is  —  ?  "  she  asked  quietly. 

"  It  is  that  —  that  —  "  he  stammered  confusedly,  at 
a  loss  to  express,  in  terms  suitable  to  their  common 
professions,  his  recoil  from  the  suggestion  of  so 
practically  and  unconventionally  demonstrating  his 
vaunted  scepticism. 

"  That  life  is  a  God-given  possession,  of  which  we 
have  no  right  to  voluntarily  rob  ourselves.  The  old 
story  ! "  she  supplied.  "  It  is  this  and  nothing  less 
that  stays  you,  Philip.  It  is  for  this  weak  and 
senseless  superstition,  which  your  rational  judgment 
pronounces  such,  that  you  refuse  to  grant  me  the  only 
relief  possible  from  my  intolerable  torments.  You 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  33 

sneered,  a  moment  since,  at  a  loving  God  who  forebore 
to  use  His  power  to  end  my  agony ;  yet  you,  who 
profess  to  be  a  fond  husband  and  pretend  to  be  too 
much  moved  by  my  anguish  to  contemplate  it,  refuse, 
for  no  reason  worthy  of  being  called  such,  to  spare 
me  the  horrible  hours  which  must  intervene  before 
my  inevitable  death.  Were  recovery  within  the  bare 
limits  of  possibility,  I  would  not  shirk  any  ordeal 
to  attain  it;  but  you  know,  none  better,  that  my 
disease  is  beyond  doubt  fatal.  How  can  you,  holding 
relief  in  your  hands,  withhold  it  for  a  mere  prejudice, 
and  doom  me  to  such  needless  torment  ?  Philip,  my 
husband,  how  can  you  do  it  ?  " 

Had  she  been  pleading  for  life  instead  of  death 
her  tones  could  not  have  been  deeper  weighted  with 
entreaty.  Despite  his  natural  reluctance,  Laiuar 
found  himself  gradually  yielding  to  her  persuasive 
reasoning.  Setting  aside  his  illogical  and  selfish 
scruples,  he  could  find  no  just  argument  to  oppose  to 
her  desire.  That  the  ultimate  result  of  her  illness 
must  be  death  he  was  as  firmly  convinced  as  science 
could  make  him :  no  care,  effort,  or  endeavor  on  his 
part  or  that  of  any  living  being,  he  felt  positively 
assured,  could  arrest  the  progress  of  the  horrible 
malady  that  was  consuming  his  wife,  body  and  soul. 
It  was  scarcely  possible  that  she  could  drag  on 


34  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

her  tortured  existence  beyond  the  term  of  a  few- 
weeks  at  farthest.  Was  it  then  worth  while  to  seek 
to  prolong  that  brief  period  at  such  bitter  cost  ? 
Were  it  not  far  kinder  to  yield  to  her  urgent 
entreaties,  to  grant  her  the  blessed  boon  of  oblivion, 
that  rest  for  which  she  craved  so  ardently,  than  to 
condemn  her  to  continued  and  increased  stiff erino-, 

O  * 

merely  out  of  a  selfish  indulgence  of  sentimental 
scruples,  of  which  his  reason  taught  him  the 
invalidity  ? 

Observing  the  struggle  that  was  going  on  in  his 
mind,  and  relying  upon  the  rationalistic  tendency 
which  she  had  so  often  seen  triumph  over  sensibility 
in  the  strong  mind,  whose  inherent  tenderness  ren- 
dered it  a  degree  more  vulnerable  than  her  own  stout 
spirit,  the  invalid  refrained  from  further  speech,  con- 
tenting herself  with  keeping  a  close  and  eager  watch 
upon  his  face. 

Undoubtedly  we  are  all  possessed  of  latent  forces 
of  which  we  are  ourselves  scarcely  conscious.  The 
magnetism  of  a  strong  will  is  a  motive  force,  the 
potency  of  which  has  been  long  since  recognized. 
That  Laura  Lamar  possessed  this  magnetism  in  a 
large  measure  she  had  often  proved  in  the  psychologi- 
cal experiments,  which  were  a  frequent  amusement 
of  the  Psychical  Research  Society,  of  which  she  and 
her  husband  were  interested  members. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  35 

Probably  no  thought  of  controlling  her  husband's 
*  volition  by  such  a  means  now  occurred  to  her,  and  it 
is  not  to  be  supposed  that  Philip  Lamar  was  other 
than  a  free  agent  in  forming  his  decision ;  but  it  is 
very  possible  that  the  strong  influence  of  her  .pas- 
sionate wish  acted  upon  his  vacillating  judgment,  and 
that,  unknown  to  either,  it  added  some  weight  to  the 
mental  scales  which  were  employed  in  the  delicate 
process  of  balancing  reason  against  sentiment. 

There  was  a  long  silence  in  the  shadowed  room. 
Lamar  seemed  to  feel  the  strong  magnetism  of  those 
dark,  compelling  eyes,  for  he  turned  from  the  bed, 
dug  his  hands  firmly  down  into  his  pockets,  and 
moved  off  to  the  window,  where  he  stood  looking  out 
into  the  night.  The  rain  was  falling  heavily,  and 
dashed  sullenly  against  the  panes.  An  old-fashioned 
clock,  standing  just  without  the  door  at  the  head  of 
the  stairs,  suddenly,  with  a  harsh  rattle  that  seemed 
a  preliminary  clearing  of  its  throat,  burst  forth  into 
the  announcement  of  eight  o'clock. 

After  his  wife's  death,  Lamar  forbade  the  winding 
of  the  striking  machinery  of  the  clock.  Its  voice 
had  become  disagreeable  to  him. 

He  started  as  he  heard  it  now,  and  turned  his  eyes 
from  the  stormy  night,  letting  his  glance  slowly 
traverse  the  floor,  until  it  reached  the  bed;  then,  with 


36  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

a  quick  uplifting  of  the^ds,  it  rested  upon  his  wife. 
Encountering  her  earnest  gaze,  in  which  her  whole* 
soul  seemed  concentrated  in  entreaty,  he  drew  a  deep 
breath,  compressed  his  lips,  like  one  who  has  come 
to  an  unwilling  decision,  and  went  toward  her. 
Silently  he  knelt  beside  the  bed,  and  gathered  her 
tenderly  into  his  arms,  with  the  careful  touch  of  one 
accustomed  to  dealing  with  the  sick. 

As  he  held  her  so  supported  on  his  broad  breast, 
with  her  face  very  close  to  his  own,  he  gazed  ear- 
nestly upon  its  wan  and  pain-drawn  lineaments,  and 
then  said  sadly,  — 

"Laura,  my  wife,  you  believe  that  you  are  the 
dearest  being  on  earth  to  me,  do  you  not  ?  " 

She  turned  and  kissed  his  cheek  fondly,  as  she 
replied,  — 

"  Surely,  Philip." 

"  And  that  I  would  consider  your  well-being  in  all 
things  as  I  would  my  own  ?  " 

"  Unquestionably." 

"  Then,  when  I  yield  to  your  wish,  and  consent  to 
shorten  that  life  which  we  both  know  to  be  a  mere 
accident  of  matter,  attributable  to  the  chance  fusion 
of  forces,  you  understand  that  I  do  for  you  what  I 
would  do  in  my  own  case  under  like  conditions.  That 
I  am  moved  to  do  it  solely  by  my  love  for  you,  and 
consideration  for  your  welfare  ?  " 


DOCTOR   LAM  AH.  37 

A  flash  of  light  came  into  the  sufferer's  eyes. 
With  an  effort  she  rose,  and  slipped  her  emaciated 
arms  about  her  husband's  neck. 

"  Philip,  you  consent  ?  "  she  cried  joyfully. 

He  bowed  his  head  gravely. 

"  Ah  !  My  dear,  my  dear,  you  have  lifted  a  weary 
burden  from  my  mind.  Philip,  you  have  been  a  good 
husband  to  me.  We  have  been  happy  together,  have 
we  not,  dear  ?  " 

Lamar's  eyes  filled  with  tears,  as  he  bent  and  kissed 
her  brow  for  reply. 

"Yet,  Philip,"  she  went  on,  "I  have  sometimes 
thought  I  lacked  something  which  you  needed ;  that 
my  nature  was  scarcely  feminine  enough  for  the  ideal 
wife ;  that  there  was  a  lack  of  demonstrativeness,  of 
tenderness  about  me."  She  sighed,  but  smiled  again 
as  she  felt  his  arms  close  tighter  about  her.  "  You 
would  say  that  it  is  not  so  ?  Well,  perhaps  —  I  don't 
know.  Perhaps  if  I  could  have  left  you  a  little  son 
or  daughter,  I  should  die  better  satisfied.  But, 
Philip,  I  want  to  assure  you  now  for  all  time,  that, 
whatever  my  own  shortcomings  may  have  been,  you 
have  none  with  which  to  reproach  yourself.  My 
husband,  no  woman  was  ever  more  fortunate  in  her 
married  life  than  I." 

She    raised   her   thin,   white    hand,    and   stroked 


38  DOCTOR  LA  MAE. 

his  face  as  she  felt  his  strong  frame  quiver  with 
emotion. 

"  Poor  boy  !  Poor  Philip  !  "  she  whispered  ten- 
derly. "  It  is  hard  to  leave  you  alone.  It  is  bitter 
to  know  that  our  life  ends  here.  Oh,  for  one  proof 
of  immortality,  for  one  ray  of  light  to  throw  doubt 
upon  my  convictions !  " 

She  turned  uneasily  in  his  arms,  and,  fearing  agi- 
tation would  create  fresh  suffering,  Lamar  gently 
released  her.  As  she  sank  back  upon  her  pillows,  she 
held  out  her  hand  to  him. 

"Philip,"  she  said  gravely,  "you  have  promised  ?  " 
-  He  made  a  gesture  of  assent. 

"I  thank  you.  Do  not  forget  you  have  given  me 
your  word.  I  think  I  can  sleep  now.  Good-night ! " 

She  turned  her  face  to  the  wall,  and  he  softly 
withdrew  to  summon  the  nurse,  afterward  returning 
to  his  study  to  sit  far  into  the  night,  meditating  upon 
the  promise  that  had  been  extracted  from  him. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  39 


CHAPTER   III. 

THERE  are  few  salient  points  of  difference  in  the 
forms  employed  in  conducting  the  obsequies  of  a, 
Christian  and  those  of  an  agnostic.  Setting  aside 
the  prayers  which  occupy  so  prominent  a  place  in  the 
burial  rites  of  believers,  the  ceremonies  differ  but 
slightly.  The  accompaniments  are  similar  in  both 
cases:  music,  flowers,  panegyric,  tears  —  tears  flow- 
ing as  freely  and  unreconcilably  over  the  body  of  the 
one  as  the  other. 

Is  it  not  a  little  singular,  indeed,  that  no  more 
intense  woe,  no  deeper  gloom  apparently  attends  the 
burial  of  the  sceptic,  surrounded  by  sceptics  holding 
no  hope  of  a  future  life,  than  that  which  clouds  the 
death-chamber  of  one  dying  in  the  grand  belief  of  a 
glorious  immortality,  and  surrounded  by  Christians 
professing  full  faith  in  a  near  and  joyous  reunion 
beyond  the  grave  ? 

Is  it,  perhaps,  that  that  loudly  and  boldly  expressed 
faith  is  a  little  insecure  ?  That,  notwithstanding  pro- 
test and  boast,  at  the  awful  issues  of  life,  doubt  will 
creep  in  to  insinuate,  in  whispers  too  low  for  our 


40  DOCTOR   LAM  AH. 

consciousness  to  acknowledge,  that  the  unproven  is 
ever  uncertain,  that  there  is  ever  —  and  must  of 
necessity  ever  continue  to  be  —  a  dark  and  gloomy 
possibility  involved  in  the  snapping  of  the  golden 
cord  ? 

Why,  else,  does  the  Christian  mourn  so  long  and  so 
inconsolably  over  a  parting  which  lie  claims  is  to 
result  in  such  wondrous  consequences  to  hi*  friend  ? 
If  the  passage  from  life  to  death  is  felt  so  assuredly 
to  so  brilliantly  advantage  him  who  undertakes  it, 
why  should  the  short  separation  which  it  involves 
cause  such  infinitely  deeper  grief  than  the  earthly 
partings  which  are  every-day  occurrences  of  life  ? 
We  make  no  bitter  moans  over  the  separations  neces- 
sited  by  material  preferment. 

The  conventionally  darkened  parlor  in  Forty-second 
Street  was  well  filled  with  patients  and  friends  of 
Dr.  Lamar,  who  had  gathered  to  pay  the  last  honors 
to  the  dead  woman.  A  large  majority  of  these  were 
members  of  the  Advance  Club,  of  which  Lamar  was 
president.  Mrs.  Lamar  had  been  one  of  its  promi- 
nent members,  and  the  loss  of  her  strong  individual- 
ity was  keenly  felt  at  its  meetings. 

Her  nature  had  been  so  wide  a  one  that  its  scope 
of  action  had  naturally  been  extensive.  Charity  had 
been  her  favorite  study,  and  her  wise  application  of 


UOCTOi;    LAMAR.  41 

its  best  methods  had  endeared  her  to  a  vast  number 
of  humanity's  poor  relations.  Many  of  those  whom 
she  had  befriended  mingled  their  poor  garments  with 
the  richer  robes  of  their  more  prosperous  kindred. 

Scarcely  an  inch  of  the  rosewood  casket  was  visible 
beneath  its  load  of  rare  flowers,  and  scattered  about 
on  tables  and  mantels  were  further  offerings  of  love 
and  friendship.  A  brilliant  luminary  of  the  Advance 
Club,  a  man  well  known  at  home  and  abroad  by 
reason  of  his  daring  assault  upon  time-honored  tradi- 
tions as  well  as  for  his  splendid  qualities  of  mind,  at 
his  own  request  pronounced  the  funeral  oration.  A 
more  eloquent  tribute  to  a  woman  was,  perhaps,  never 
uttered.  Warmly  appreciative  of  Laura  Lainar's 
many  noble  qualities,  it  yet  stopped  far  short  of  ful- 
someness.  Kecognizing  her  advancement  of  thought 
as  somewhat  unusual  in  one  of  her  sex,  it  called 
attention  to  the  fact  of  her  pure  and  spotless  char- 
acter and  unsullied  reputation.  Noting  her  avowed 
disbelief  in  a  God  and  a  hereafter,  it  yet  testified  to 
her  warm  interest  in  all  philanthropic  and  humane 
movements,  —  an  interest  which  proved  that  the  prac- 
tice of  charity  and  benevolence  may  be  induced  by 
other  causes  than  supernatural  threats  or  promises. 

Lingering  tenderly  upon  her  value  as  a  friend,  it 
made  glowing  mention  of  the  influence  which  so 


42  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

broad  an  intellect,  combined  with  so  womanly  a  soul, 
was  capable  of  exerting,  and  sympathized  in  warm 
terms  with  the  husband  deprived  of  so  noble  a  com- 
panion. Then  the  mellow  tones  of  the  speaker 
dropped  to  a  tenderer  cadence,  as,  with  sympathetic 
appreciation  of  their  nature,  he  touched  upon  her 
sufferings  and  the  patient  fortitude  with  which  she 
had  endured  them.  "Hers  was  indeed  an  example  of 
resignation,"  he  remarked,  "  not  to  the  will  of  a  God, 
who,  notwithstanding  His  vaunted  mercy,  could  so 
crucify  His  innocent  and  well-nigh  sinless  child,  but 
to  the  decree  of  the  Inevitable,  which  says,  '  You 
are  paying  the  penalty  of  an  outrage  inflicted  upon 
Nature,  whose  laws  must  be  obeyed,  else  atonement 
shall  be  exacted.'  Unshrinkingly  she  bore  the  ordeal, 
and  steadfastly  awaited  the  end.  None  came  within 
the  radius  of  her  circle,"  he  said  in  conclusion,  "  who 
will  not  exclaim  with  me,  who  loved  this  noble 
woman  truly,  the  world  was  better  for  her  birth,  and 
humanity  is  a  loser  by  her  death." 

As  Dr.  Lamar  returned  to  his  home  that  afternoon, 
after  laying  his  wife  in  her  final  resting-place,  a  ter- 
rible restlessness  took  possession  of  him.  Although 
she  had  been  confined  to  her  chamber  for  many 
weeks,  it  seemed  to  him  that  Laura's  presence  had 
pervaded  the  house,  and  that  her  death  had  rendered 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  43 

it  suddenly  vacant.  An  awful  sense  of  loneliness 
oppressed  him,  and  he  wandered  aimlessly  about 
from  room  to  room,  finally  seeking  refuge  in  his 
study. 

Here  he  employed  himself  for  some  minutes  in 
glancing  over  a  quantity  of  correspondence  which 
had  accumulated  during  the  last  two  days.  This 
hastily  despatched,  he  strayed  about  the  room,  open- 
ing a  book  only  to  close  it  again  without  noting  even 
its  title,  scanning  a  picture  or  two,  and  finally  bring- 
ing up  before  a  window  where  he  stood  with  his 
hands  dug  deep  down  into  his  pockets,  and  his  gaze 
turned  inward. 

As  he '  stood  thus  he  fell  to  rehearsing  certain 
events  in  his  wife's  illness  —  events  about  which  his 
memory  clung,  not  regretfully  but  meditatively. 
Especially  prominent  was  that  conversation  which 
had  resulted  in  a  promise  whose  fulfilment  had  later 
been  exacted  of  him.  This  fulfilment  had  been 
unaccompanied  by  any  of  the  reluctance  which  had 
caused  him  to  shrink  from  undertaking  it,  owing  to 
the  fearful  suffering  which,  when  time  for  action 
came,  seemed  to  render  it  a  mere  act  of  humanity. 

Ten  days  had  passed  after  that  rainy  evening  when 
he  had  promised  to  release  his  wife  from  the  burden 
of  unendurable  suffering,  without  further  mention 


DOCTOR  LAM AU. 

being  made  of  his  agreement.  For  a  week  there  had 
been  a  steady  crescendo  of  agony,  yet  she  had  not 
demanded  the  coup  de  grace,  perhaps  because,  being 
conscious  of  the  sacrifice  of  natural  feeling  it  re- 
quired from  him,  she  preserved  sufficient  unselfish- 
ness in  the  midst  of  an  intolerable  agony  which 
would  have  been  excuse  for  the  most  intense  egoism, 
to  desire  to  spare  him. 

At  last  had  come  one  fearful  day,  compared  with 
whose  anguish  all  the  tortures  she  had  previously 
undergone  seemed  mere  suggestiveness.  Lamar 
had  been  at  home  all  day,  having  relinquished  his 
practice  into  other  hands,  in  order  to  devote  himself 
wholly  to  his  wife.  Finally,  when  endurance  seemed 
no  longer  possible,  her  sufferings  were  granted  a 
temporary  respite,  and  as  she  fell  into  a  peaceful 
sleep,  the  doctor,  quite  worn  out  with  the  strain  upon 
his  sympathies,  sought  a  brief  rest  in  his  study. 

Scarcely  ten  minutes  had  been  granted  him  before 
a  message  came  from  the  nurse  begging  him  to  come 
at  once  to  the  sick-room.  Here  he  found  his  wife 
fairly  writhing  in  agony  so  great  that  the  nurse, 
accustomed  to  view  unmoved  the  torments  of  disease, 
came  toward  him  with  tears  of  pity  streaming  from 
her  eyes,  and  begged  him  to  do  something  for  her 
patient's  relief. 


DOCTOR  LAM  All.  45 

As  he  approached  the  bed,  his  wife  motioned  to 
him  to  dismiss  the  nurse  from  the  room,  and,  when 
she  found  herself  alone  with  him,  burst  into  passion- 
ate entreaty. 

"Philip,  your  promise!  The  time  has  come.  I 
can  bear  no  more.  Philip,  my  husband,  you  will  not 
fail  me  ?  Remember,  you  have  promised." 

Another  terrible  convulsion  of  pain  seized  her. 
Her  face  became  ghastly  white,  and  her  body  writhed 
in  the  spasm.  A  single  cry  broke  from  her  lips,  the 
only  one  Lamar  had  ever  heard  during  her  martyr- 
dom, and  it  proved  a  stronger  argument  than  any 
words  of  entreaty  or  reproach.  Without  delaying 
another  instant  he  drew  from  his  pocket  a  tiny  white 
packet,  unsealed  it,  and  disclosed  a  very  trifling 
quantity  of  colorless  powder. 

Pausing  a  moment,  he  stooped  and  touched  the 
distorted  face  with  his  lips. 

"  Laura,"  he  said  gently,  for  a  great  calmness  had 
taken  possession  of  him,  "you  are  sure  you  wish  me 
to  do  this  thing  ?  " 

She  bowed  and  tried  to  smile,  being,  by  reason  of 
her  anguish,  beyond  the  power  of  speech. 

"  Then  good-by,  my  dear  one.  Good-by,  my  faith- 
ful, beloved  wife ! " 

She  smiled  again,  and  her  lips  tried  to  frame  an 


46  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

echo  of   his  parting,  but  their  unclosing   only  per- 
mitted the  escape  of  a  moan. 

Lamar  stooped  quickly  and  whispered  a  word. 
The  sufferer  immediately  parted  her  lips,  and  with 
a  hasty  gesture  the  doctor  poured  the  contents  of  the 
little  paper  between  them. 

Scarcely  an  instant  after  a  wondrous  quiet  came 
over  the  poor,  quivering  body.  A  slight  sigh,  as  of 
great  relief,  breathed  itself  out  from  the  pallid  lips, 
and  the. distorted  features  smoothed  themselves  out 
into  an  expression  of  great  calm. 

This  little  tragedy,  of  which  he  had  been  the 
principal  actor,  re-enacted  itself  before  Lamar  now, 
as  he  stood  gazing  vacantly  out  into  the  dark  street. 
Not  for  an  instant  since  its  accomplishment  had  he 
felt  regret  for  his  compliance  with  his  wife's  wish. 
Why  should  remorse  or  compunction  assail  him, 
when  reason  told  him  that  he  had  acted  wisely  and 
considerately?  What  qualms  of  conscience  should 
afflict  a  man  believing,  as  he  did,  that  there  is  no 
tribunal  higher  than  that  of  common-sense  to  sit  in 
judgment  on  the  actions  of  humanity  ? 

His  wife  was  at  rest.  Oblivion,  that  long  sleep 
which  has  no  fevered  dreams,  no  precarious  awaken- 
ing, had  ingulfed  her ;  and  he  had  been  the  instru- 
ment of  granting  her  this  peace.  A  natural  regret 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  47 

and  loneliness,  of  course,  he  experienced ;  and  the 
reaction  from  constant  attendance  upon  her  left  him 
with  a  feeling  of  restlessness,  which  would  doubt- 
less vanish  with  the  resumption  of  his  professional 
duties. 

He  grieved  for  his  wife  as  one  grieves  for  a  con- 
genial sister  or  friend  ;  but  his  sorrow  was  a  calm, 
controlled  emotion,  widely  different  from  that  pas- 
sion of  yearning  and  regret  that  overwhelms  the 
bereaved  lover. 

As  the  gloom  came  on  and  the  stars  began  to 
twinkle  out,  a  strange  thought  came  to  him,  —  a 
thought  so  foreign  to  one  of  his  assured  convictions, 
that,  when  he  awoke  to  a  realization  of  its  irration- 
ality, he  was  almost  startled  that  he  should  have 
indulged  it. 

The  advancing  night  had  brought  with  it  a  sugges- 
tion of  the  loneliness  of  that  quiet  body  which  he  had 
just  laid  in  the  earth,  and,  some  way,  his  thoughts 
separated  the  spirit  which  his  reason  told  him  had 
been  blown  out  like  a  candle,  from  the  mouldering 
body,  and  endowed  it  Avith  continued  existence.  "  I 
wonder,"  he  was  thinking,  "  where  Laura  is  ?  " 

It  was  a  speculation  natural  enough  to  a  Christian, 
but  so  at  variance  with  his  materialistic  theories, 
that,  as  I  say,  he  was  startled  and  even  a  little 


48  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

shocked  to  think  it  had  occurred  to  him.  He  turned 
from  the  window  with  a  shrug  of  his  broad  shoulders, 
muttering  to  himself,  — 

"Time  I  occupied  my  mind  with  something  besides 
sentiment ! " 

As  he  touched  the  electric  illuminator,  and  the 
room  sprang  into  light,  the  ringing  of  the  door- 
bell arrested  his  attention.  Supposing  it  announced 
the  advent  of  some  patient,  and  easy  in  the  knowl- 
edge that  his  servant  was  instructed  to  send  such  to 
a  brother-practitioner,  Larnar  took  up  a  medical 
pamphlet,  whose  uncut  leaves  awaited  his  leisure, 
and  was  about  to  apply  himself  to  its  contents,  when 
the  discreet  voice  of  his  butler  interrupted  him  :  — 

"A  gentleman  to  see  you,  sir." 

"  Say  that  I  desire  to  be  excused,  James ;  that  I 
can  see  no  "  — 

He  broke  off  abruptly,  for  a  tall  figure  loomed 
into  sight  close  upon  the  servant's  heels,  recognition 
of  which  evoked  a  burst  of  gladness  that  was  almost 
a  cry  from  Lamar. 

"  What,  Wyndham  !     You !     Am  I  dreaming  ?  " 

The  new-comer  had  by  this  time  come  well  within 
range  of  the  light,  and  proved  himself  to  be  a  man 
of  some  thirty-eight  or  forty  years,  unmistakably 
English  in  appearance,  with  a  charmingly  frank, 


DOCTOR   LAM  AIL  49 

open  countenance,  which  was  now  struggling  to  sub- 
due the  joy  consequent  upon  reunion  with  Lamar 
after  a  six  years'  parting,  to  a  decorous  expression 
of  sympathetic  sadness  becoming  the  news  which 
had  just  been  imparted  to  him  by  the  butler. 

"  Yes,  it  is  I,  old  fellow  !  Lamar,  it  is  good  to  see 
you  again.  I  have  intruded  upon  you  at  a  sad  time, 
old  man,  but  I  could  not  leave  without  just  shaking 
you  by  the  hand.  I've  come  from  England  for  that 
simple  purpose." 

"  Wyndham,  if  anything  in  the  world  could  cheer 
me  up  to-night,  it  is  a  sight  of  you.  A  more  welcome 
guest  never  crossed  a  man's  threshold.  Where  are 
your  traps  ?  I'll  send  a  man  for  them ;  —  no  protesta- 
tions "  —  as  the  Englishman,  still  impressed  with  the 
inopportuneness  of  his  arrival,  was  about  to  negative 
the  proposition — "I've  got  you,  and  I  mean  to  keep 
you.  Great  Heavens,  man !  can't  you  imagine  how 
lonely  I  am  in  this  great,  desolate  house  ?  " 

His  words  and  tone  bore  conviction  with  them; 
and  having  sent  off  the  butler  in  a  cab,  with  full  in- 
structions to  settle  Wyndham's  bill  at  his  hotel  and 
return  with  his  luggage,  Lamar  ordered  up  the  liquid 
refreshments  which  men  deem  essential  to  thorough- 
going bien-etre,  aud  the  two  established  themselves 
for  a  long  discursive  talk,  which  lasted  far  into  the 
night. 


50  DOCTOR  LAM  AH. 

A  stranger  observing  the  two  men,  as  they  sat 
facing  each  other,  after  six  years'  separation,  would 
undoubtedly  have  felt  a  genuine  surprise  at  being 
informed  of  the  warm  tie  of  congenial  friendship 
uniting  them.  Yet  more  marked  would  have  been 
his  astonishment  at  learning  that,  in  point  of  age, 
Wyndham  possessed  the  advantage,  or  disadvantage, 
as  one  chooses  to  consider  it,  of  four  additional  years. 

His  smooth,  boyish  face,  with  its  bright,  ingenuous 
expression,  bore  scant  testimony  to  his  thirty-eight 
years  of  life,  and  it  would  have  been  a  simple  matter 
for  him  to  pass  for  some  ten  years  younger;  while 
the  grave,  thoughtful  brow,  bearded  mouth  and  chin, 
and  slightly  grizzled  hair  of  the  physician,  bespoke 
a  faithful  apprenticeship  to  that  science  which 
demands  such  constant  self-sacrifice  from  its  dis- 
ciples. 

There  had  been  a  somewhat  intermittent  correspond- 
ence maintained  between  the  two  since  their  parting, 
but  their  letters  had  been  sufficiently  frequent  to  keep 
each  informed  of  the  important  events  in  the  life  of 
the  other.  One  of  these  soon  came  under  discussion 
now,  Wyndham  introducing  it  in  a  tentative  manner 
as  if  doubting  how  his  friend  might  treat  it. 

"  I  believe  I  wrote  you,  Lamar,  that  I  had  decided 
to  change  my  profession  ?  "  lie  hazarded,  while  a  little 
flush  dyed  his  fair  skin. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  51 

Lamar  leaned  forward  and  stirred  the  fire  some- 
what impatiently.  The  cause  of  this  change  was  the 
rock  upon  which  their  opinions  had  formerly  split, 
though  in  the  old  student  days  the  waters  of  indiffer- 
ence had  more  deeply  submerged  it  than  now. 

During  the  intervening  years  the  matter  had  risen 
more  obstinately  to  the  surface  of  both  lives,  and 
each  man  after  his  own  fashion  had  studied  and  pon- 
dered it,  the  results  attained  by  research  and  reflec- 
tion being  widely  different  in  the  two  cases.  What 
had  then  been  merely  an  incidental  subject  of  argu- 
ment and  discussion  had  now  become  to  both  a 
matter  of  special  pleading,  a  question  of  profound 
importance.  Both  had  brought  to  bear  upon  the 
question  of  Christianity  all  the  best  that  their  minds 
afforded,  and  each  had  become  but  the  firmer 
adherent  to  his  own  primary  convictions.  It  was 
with  pain,  therefore,  that,  on  this,  the  very  eve  of 
their  reunion,  Lamar  saw  a  subject  of  such  iuhar- 
mony  of  thought  broached. 

"  Yes,"  he  replied,  rather  shortly ;  "  you  did." 

"There  was  no  use,"  the  other  man  continued; 
"  I  must  have  been  born  to  the  ministry.  I  have 
always  had  such  a  strong  inclination  toward  it.  Did 
you  know  I  had  taken  orders  ?  " 

"No." 


52  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

There  was  no  surprise  in  the  response,  but  a  crisp- 
ness  of  tone  which  certainly  bore  no  encouragement 
to  further  revelation  of  a  similar  nature.  This,  how- 
ever, did  not  deter  Wyndham.' 

"  Yes,"  he  went  on  ;  "  I'm  a  full-fledged  clergyman 
of  the  Church  pf  England.  I'm  after  the  unregen- 
erate  with  a  sharp  stick;  that's  one  reason  I  have 
come  over  after  you."  He  broke  into  a  hearty  laugh, 
so  hearty  that  it  caused  even  Lamar  to  smile  sympa- 
thetically, while  a  recollection  of  its  inappropriate- 
ness  to  a  house  of  mourning  shamed  its  perpetrator 
into  sudden  silence. 

"You  will  find  me  a  tough  subject,  I'm  afraid," 
Lamar  replied.  "I'm  several  degrees  worse  than  I 
was  in  Heidelberg.  However,  old  fellow,  if  the 
length  of  your  stay  depends  upon  my  conversion  to 
Christianity,  I  have  less  cause  than  ever  to  regret 
the  unorthodoxy  of  my  opinions." 

"  I  wish  indeed  I  might  make  a  convert  of  you," 
Wyndham  replied  more  gravely.  Then,  after  a 
pause  of  some  moments,  during  which  each  man 
was  busy  with  his  own  thoughts, — 

"  Philip,"  he  said,  "  if  the  wound  isn't  too  recent 
a  one,  tell  me  something  about  your  wife.  She  was 
as  strongly  sceptical  as  you?" 

"Yes,  even  more  so,  I  think.     I  believe  her  mind 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  53 

was  vastly  superior  to  mine.  She  seemed  to  have  a 
clearer  intellectual  grasp  of  things  which  eluded  my 
mental  clutch.  Her  balance  was  a  very  true  one. 
Where  I  wavered,  she  stood  firm ;  where  I  was  dis- 
posed to  temporize  with  truth,  she  decided  at  once. 
The  clarity  of  her  perceptions  was  remarkable.  Her 
judgment  was  sound,  clear,  and  rational ;  and  the 
difference  between  us  is  at  once  manifest  when  I  tell 
you  that  she  was  an  atheist  and  I  an  agnostic.  She 
was  convinced  that  there  was  nothing  beyond  the 
grave,  while  I,  though  professing  to  share  her  convic- 
tions, in  my  secret  heart  am  disposed  to  shirk  the 
hopeless  conclusion  by  admitting  that  I  'do  not 
know.' " 

A  look  of  intense  pity  came  into  Wyndham's  eyes. 

"And  she  died  in  this  terrible  belief?  She  could 
lie,  as  you  tell  me  she  did,  day  after  day  and  stare 
oblivion  calmly  in  the  face  ?  She  could  not  have 
been  resigned  to  such  a  dreary,  hopeless  end  !  " 

"  Resigned !  "  Lamar  repeated  with  emphasis ; 
"  why,  she  was  more  than  that,  Wyndham ;  she 
courted  death.  «N"o  Christian  ever  craved  immor- 
tality more  strongly  than  poor  Laura  yearned  for 
oblivion  ;  I  can  prove  it  to  you.  Listen.  You  know 
what  the  nature  of  the  poor  girl's  malady  was  ? 
Yes,  I  thought  I  wrote  you.  A  cancer  is,  as  you 


54  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

may  perhaps  be  aware,  a  disease  whose  tortures  are 
equalled  by  scarcely  any  other  on  earth.  Its  agonies 
are  beyond  the  conception  of  any  save  those  who  have 
borne  them  or  witnessed  their  devilish  malignancy. 
Laura  bore  them  like  the  brave,  strong  woman  she 
was,  uncomplainingly  and  unnmrmuringly,  thor- 
oughly aware  of  the  hopelessness  of  her  case  and 
calm  before  the  prospect  of  death.  This  wonderful 
fortitude  lasted  for  months,  during  which  I  never 
heard  her  breathe  a  word  of  complaint,  while  she 
ever  had  a  bright  smile  of  welcome  and  cheer  for  my 
exhausted  spirit. 

"Day  by  day  the  inroads  of  the  monster  increased, 
and,  notwithstanding  her  utmost  efforts,  I  could  see 
that  her  endurance  was  being  slowly  sapped  and  her 
courage  undermined.  Yet  she  strove  to  triumph 
over  the  weakness  of  her  poor  flesh  and  force  her 
spirit  to  conquer  the  body.  Wyndham,  I  believe 
that  no  human  being  is  capable  of  making  a  more 
valiant  fight  against  the  weakness  of  the  flesh  than 
my  wife  did.  I  have  had  some  experience  of  suffer- 
ing borne  by  men  and  women,  and  &  have  never  seen 
a  more  reluctant  surrender  of  spirit  than  hers.  But 
at  last  even  she  was  forced  to  yield.  She  had  one 
day  been  suffering  the  tortures  of  the  damned,  —  to 
borrow  one  of  your  stock  phrases,  —  her  agonies  had 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  55 

even  wrung  the  stout  nerves  of  a  Drained  nurse,  and 
forced  hot  tears  of  pity  from  my  accustomed  eyes. 
She  called  nie  to  her  and  begged  me,  as  I  loved  her, 
to  spare  her  further  suffering." 

"Meaning?  —  " 

"  Meaning  that  I  should  apply  some  of  my  knowl- 
edge of  the  pharmacopoeia  to  her  case,  and  grant  her 
a  release  from  pain  and  an  entrance  into  that  obliv- 
ion which  you  seem  to  think  we  must  necessarily 
dread  contemplating." 

He  had  been  so  interested  in  his  recital,  so 
absorbed  in  recollection  of  that  closing  scene  in  his 
*  wife's  life,  that  he  had  failed  to  note  the  look  of 
horror  that  was  slowly  dawning  upon  his  hearer's 
face.  Wyudham's  agitated  question  was  the  first 
intimation  he  received  that  he  had  shocked  his 
friend's  prejudices  by  his  relation. 

"Lamar!  Surely,  surely  you  did  not  do  this 
thing  ?  " 

The  doctor  turned  and  encountered  the  expression 
of  moral  recoil  upon  Wyndham's  face.  A  little  smile 
of  contempt  for  his  friend's  old-fashioned  scruples 
curved  his  firm  lips. 

"  Surely,  I  did,  Wyndham,"  he  replied,  seeing  that 
he  had  made  a  mistake  in  mentioning  the  sad  busi- 
ness, but,  with  the  honesty  which  was  so  admirable 


56  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

a  quality  in  his  character,  remaining  steadfast  to  the 
truth. 

"Then  may  God  forgive  you,"  his  friend  returned 
earnestly.  "Lamar,  you  have  done  an  awful  thing. 
Admit  it  or  not,  as  you  will,  you  have  committed  a 
crime  against  the  Power  that  gave  you  birth,  in  send- 
ing a  soul  into  eternity  before  its  time.  Great 
Heaven !  to  what  lengths  will  your  freedom  of 
thought  lead  you  ?  " 

He  rose  and  paced  the  room  in  deep  agitation. 
This  act  committed  by  the  man  he  loved  above  all 
others  and  related  with  a  sang-froid  which  but 
increased  its  horror,  evincing  as  it  did  an  uncon- 
sciousness of  guilt,  disturbed  alike  his  conventional 
susceptibilities  and  his  theory  of  man's  accounta- 
bility to  God  for  the  preservation  of  that  life  which 
he  considered  the  Divine  essence.  His  unaffected 
emotion  even  impressed  Lamar  a  trifle.  A  shade 
settled  over  his  features. 

"Wyndham,"  he  said,  "I  am  sorry  that  our  first 
meeting  after  six  years  should  have  resulted  in  dis- 
tressing us  both.  You  feel  aggrieved  that  I  have 
obeyed  the  dictates  of  humanity  and  love  in  sparing 
my  poor  wife  additional  suffering;  while  I  am  disap- 
pointed that  a  man  of  your  breadth  of  views  on 
material  matters  can  permit  yourself  to  become 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  57 

entangled  in  the  suffocating  meshes  of  worn-out 
creeds  and  superstitions.  Yet,  old  fellow,  we  cannot 
afford  to  let  our  friendship  suffer  in  consequence  of 
our  mutual  dissatisfaction  —  at  least,  I  cannot.  Let 
us  bury  the  hatchet,  and  never  again  refer  to  the 
admission  which  I  have  made,  and  which,  I  see,  has 
wounded  your  prejudices.  Look  on  me  as  a  heathen 
if  you  will,  as  a  criminal  if  you  must,  but  in  any  case 
as  a  man  who  is  none  too  happy,  who  cannot  let  your 
friendship  slip  from  him,  and  who,  perhaps,  presents 
as  fair  a  field  for  missionary  labor  as  any  you  may 
find.  Robert,  dear  old  man,  you  won't  desert 
me  ?  " 

A  more  winning  tone  and  manner  than  Lamar's 
when  he  chose  to  drop  his  professional  gravity  and 
permit  his  individuality  to  escape,  could  not  well  be 
imagined.  They  'appealed  at  once  to  the  warm, 
affectionate  heart  of  Wyndham,  and  overcame  the 
impulse  of  shocked  intolerance  which  had  tempted 
him  to  cast  off  his  friend.  He  paused  an  instant  and 
then  his  scruples  yielded.  With  a  couple  of  long 
strides  he  reached  Lamar's  side  and  grasped  his 
hand. 

"Philip,"  he  said,  "whatever  you  are,  I  love  you. 
There  has  always  been  but  one  real  man  in  the  world 
to  me,  and  you  are  he.  God  bless  you,  old  fellow  ! 


58  DOCTOR   LAMAIt. 

whether  you  will  or  no,  and  grant  that  nothing  may 
ever  come  between  us." 

A  little  later  the  friends  separated  for  the  night ; 
both,  notwithstanding  their  reluctant  acknowledg- 
ment of  the  wide  gulf  yawning  between  them,  happy 
in  the  consciousness  that  the  same  roof  again  shel- 
tered, and  the  same  affection  still  united,  them. 


DOCTOR  LAMAll.  59 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THERE  is  a  decided  air  of  excitement  prevailing  at 
Fordham  rectory.  Spring  has  matured  into  summer. 
America  has  yielded  place  to  England.  The  scene  is 
the  home  of  the  Wyndhams,  and  the  month  is  June. 
An  English  June  is  a  fair  thing,  made  up  of  blossoms, 
tender  buds,  and  sunshine ;  a  thing  of  beauty  giving 
promise  of  a  later  development  into  rich  fruition. 
Therefore,  what  fitter  character  can  I  choose  to  greet 
my  reader  upon  his  introduction  to  this  English 
month  of  roses  than  the  young  maiden  who  stands, 
with  hands  filled  with  fragrant  flowers,  and  sweet, 
flushed  face,  peering  over  her  sister's  shoulder  to  gain 
immediate  possession  of  the  tidings  a  telegram  has 
just  brought  to  the  rectory  ? 

"  They  are  coming  to-night,  Rhea !  "  she  exclaimed, 
in  a  tone  which  culminated  in  a  little  cry  at  her 
sister's  name.  "  My  goodness !  but  we  must  fly 
'round." 

Rebecca  Wyndham  smiled.  Her  sister's  impet- 
uosity was  so  foreign  to  her  own  calm,  staid  charac- 


60  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

ter,  that  it  never  failed  to  provoke  her  amusement. 
Yet  there  was  a  little  frown  of  perplexity,  too, 
knitting  the  broad  brow  from  which  the  soft  brown 
hair  was  so  smoothly  banded  away  —  for  Eebecca 
Wyndham  was  her  widowed  father's  housekeeper, 
and  Fordham  rectory  was  some  twelve  miles  distant 
from  market-town,  which  two  facts  added  to  that  of 
the  unexpectedly  imminent  arrival  of  a  strange  guest 
may  explain,  to  feminine  minds  at  least,  the  appear- 
ance of  the  knitted  brow. 

The  younger  girl  observed  the  anxious  expression. 

"What's  the  matter,  Khea?"  she  asked  sympa- 
thetically ;  "larder  low,  sheets  not  aired,  or  Catherine 
crusty  ?  "  —  Catherine  being  the  cook. 

Miss  Wyndham's  concern  was  somewhat  increased 
by  the  last  suggestion.  Catherine's  temper  was 
always  an  unknown  quantity,  an  important  factor  in 
her  domestic  calculations.  However,  this  disturbing 
recollection  did  not  form  her  chief  uneasiness  upon 
the  present  occasion. 

"It  is  the  larder,  Natalie,"  she  said.  "I  had  no 
idea  that  Robert  and  his  friend  would  come  before 
the  end  of  the  week,  and  there  is  really  nothing  fit 
to  offer  a  stranger  in  the  house.  If  I  could  only 
catch  the  carrier,  I  could  send  in  for  something  to 
last  over ! " 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  61 

Natalie  glanced  at  the  clock  on  the  mantel,  and 
shook  her  head. 

"  Too  late,  by  half  an  hour,"  she  remarked ;  then, 
"Khea!  Wait!"  she  cried,  running  to  a  table  and 
dropping  her  fragrant  burden  pell-mell  with  scant 
regard  for  its  injury.  "  I  can  catch  him  !  Make  out 
your  list,  quick,  and  I'll  tell  Barker  to  saddle  Jenny. 
I  can  cut  Benham  off  at  the  Melbury  crossroads  at 
ten,  if  you  hurry." 

She  was  up  in  her  room  changing  her  gown  for  a 
habit  before  her  sister  had  fairly  grasped  the  propo- 
sition ;  and  as  the  careful  housekeeper  jotted  down 
the  necessary  items  on  her  list,  she  could  hear  the 
clear,  ringing  voice  shouting  from  the  window  that 
overlooked  the  stable-yard,  — 

"  Barker,  quick,  saddle  Jenny,  and  bring  her 'round. 
Lengthen  the  stirrups  a  bit,  Barker,  will  you  ?  I 
believe  I'm  growing  a  trifle  these  fine  days." 

Miss  Wyndham's  list  was  scarcely  finished  before 
her  messenger  was  ready.  Natalie  came  into  the 
room  buttoning  her  gloves,  her  short  habit  tucked  up 
a  trifle  under  one  arm,  and  her  riding-crop  under  the 
other.  As  she  took  the  memorandum  she  observed 
hurriedly,  — 

"  Don't  expect  me  home  to  lunch,  Rhea ;  as  long  as 
I  am  going  as  far  as  the  crossroads,  I'll  ride  on  to 


62  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

Melbury,  and  lunch  with  the  Dunstanes.  Eleanor  ig 
going  up  to  London  Friday  for  the  rest  of  the  season, 
and  I  want  to  say  good-by.  Any  message  to  them  ?  " 

"  My  love,  that's  all.  Natalie,  you're  a  good  child 
to  take  all  this  trouble." 

"  Nonsense !  To  tell  you  the  truth,  Becky,  I  am 
really  fleeing  from  the  wrath  to  come.  I'd  do  a  good 
deal  to  escape  one  of  Catherine's  ebullitions.  Poor 
Becky  !  you  have  all  the  horrors,  and  I  all  the  pleas- 
ures of  life.  What  a  shirk  I  am,  to  be  sure  ! " 

She  put  up  her  hand,  and  patted  her  sister's  cheek, 
while  the  latter  laid  a  caressing  touch  for  an  instant 
on  the  pretty  shoulder.  Another  minute  and  the 
room  was  vacated,  Natalie  riding  away  on  her  errand, 
while  the  elder  sister  departed  on  hospitable  thoughts 
intent,  though  the  poetry  of  her  purpose  was  some- 
what marred  by  the  very  prosaic  consideration  of 
Catherine's  "  contrariness,"  as  Barker  called  it. 

Fordham  rectory  stood  in  the  midst  of  a  very  fairly 
populous  parish,  which,  while  it  gave  ample  employ- 
ment to  its  rector  or  his  vicegerents,  afforded  no  very 
great  pecuniary  reimbursement  for  the  time  spent  in 
ministering  to  its  spiritual  needs.  The  Kev.  Charles 
Wyndham  had  been  its  incumbent  for  nearly  half  a 
century,  and  during  that  time  had  presented  the 
comfortable  rambling  old  rectory  with  two  mistresses, 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  63 

both  of  whom  had  deserted  their  post  of  honor,  and 
left  its  cares  and  responsibilities  to  devolve  upon  the 
shoulders  of  the  grave  young  girl,  who  was  the  eldest 
daughter  of  the  house. 

The  first  Mrs.  Wyndham  had  been  an  heiress  in  a 
small  way,  and  her  property,  at  her  death,  had  passed 
to  her  two  children,  Kobert  and  Rebecca  —  Rhea,  as 
she  was  commonly  called. 

The  rector's  second  wife  had  been  a  penniless  gov- 
erness, engaged  by  Mr.  Wyndham  shortly  after  his 
wife's  death  to  superintend  the  education  of  his  little 
daughter,  then  about  ten  years  old.  Mrs.  Wyndham 
second  was  a  fair,  gentle  creature,  with  no  dowry 
but  her  pretty  face,  sweet  manners,  and  loving  nature. 
She  had  followed  her  predecessor's  example,  and 
transmitted  this,  her  sole  wealth,  to  her  child 
Natalie. 

The  warmest  affection  had  existed  between  Rhea 
Wyndham  and  her  step-mother,  and  the  girl's  grief  at 
the  latter's  death  had  been  as  sincere  as  if  she  had 
lost  a  beloved  sister.  Her  gratitude  for  the  motherly 
love  and  care  which  the  dead  woman  had  bestowed 
upon  her  manifested  itself  in  an  unremitting  devo- 
tion to  the  little  girl  left  in  her  charge. 

"  The  rector's  daughter,"  as  Rebecca  Wyndham  was 
called  in  the  parish,  possessed  one  of  the  most 


64  DOCTOR   LAMAIi. 

genuine  and  unselfish  characters  that  ever  inhabited 
a  woman's  body.  Her  loveliness  was  entirely  that  of 
mind  and  soul,  her  body  being  singularly  deficient  in 
grace  and  beauty.  While  not  actually  deformed, 
there  was  about  her  figure  a  height  and  squareness 
of  shoulder,  a  shortness  of  neck  and  length  of  arm. 
which  rendered  her  appearance  exceedingly  awkward. 
Her  face  was  equally  imperfect. 

She  was  very  near-sighted,  and  as  the  bridge  of  her 
nose  was  too  greatly  depressed  to  permit  of  the  use  of 
a  pince-nez,  and  Natalie  would  not  allow  her  to  wear 
spectacles,  save  in  the  seclusion  of  her  own  chamber, 
she  was  obliged  to  have  recourse  to  a  short  lorgnette. 
When  the  employment  of  her  hands  rendered  this 
unavailable,  she  had  a  habit  of  half  closing  her  eyes, 
or  squinting,  to  gain  clearer  sight.  Her  features  were 
ill-proportioned,  her  mouth  especially  being  unduly 
large,  although  the  magnificently  strong  white  teeth 
within  partially  redeemed  its  disfiguring  width. 

It  was  astonishing,  however,  how  one  could  grow 
to  love  this  plain  face,  and  how  comforting  and 
reassuring  was  the  touch  or  clasp  of  that  large,  un- 
shapely hand.  Miss  Wyndham's  step  was  heavy,  and 
her  movements  awkward,  yet  her  presence  in  a  sick- 
room had  never  evoked  a  complaint  from  the  most 
sensitive  nerves  ;  her  voice  was  unmusical  and  some- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  65 

what  harsh  in  ordinary  conversation,  yet  the  pure, 
dulcet  tones  of  Natalie's  sweet  contralto  possessed  no 
such  power  of  soothing  and  cheering  as  the  unmelo- 
dious  accents  of  her  elder  sister. 

She  was  a  power  for  good  in  the  parish,  and  more 
truly  the  rector  than  that  gentleman  himself.  Her 
dress  was  so  plain  and  ungarnished  that  it  presented 
no  harsh  contrast  with  the  poorest  attire ;  her  man- 
ners were  so  simple  that  no  discordant  note  of 
apparent  superiority  disturbed  the  harmony  of  her 
ministrations  among  the  rustic  needy ;  her  advice 
and  efforts  in  their  behalf  were  so  practical  and  well 
directed  that  they  appealed  at  once  to  the  common- 
sense  of  the  poorer  classes.  In  a  word,  she  was  a 
Christian  woman  in  the  fullest  meaning  of  the  terra. 

The  rector  was  growing  an  old  man.  Every  year 
told  more  upon  him  now  than  a  decade  had  formerly 
done ;  therefore,  Rhea  collaborated  with  the  young 
curate,  Derrick  Grafton,  to  spare  her  father  all  the 
petty  details  and  perplexities  consequent  upon  his 
position.  Grafton  read  the  Morning  Prayers,  and 
took  the  entire  evening  services,  officiated  at  wed- 
dings and  funerals,  save  in  rare  and  exceptional  cases 
when  the  presence  of  the  rector  himself  was  espe- 
cially requested,  and  together  he  and  Rhea  shared  the 
visitation  of  the  poor  and  sick. 


66  DOCTOR  LAM  A  It. 

Thus  the  rector  was  left  to  enjoy  a  quiet  and  tran- 
quil old  age.  His  time  was  divided  between  his 
garden  and  books,  while  an  occasional  invitation 
to  dinner  from  his  wealthier  parishioners,  and  the 
high  spirits  and  joyous  laughter  of  his  younger 
daughter,  served  to  brighten  and  vary  his  somewhat 
monotonous  existence. 

There  was  little  doubt  that  Natalie  Wyndham  was 
a  spoiled  child,  that  is  if  the  term  is  supposed  to 
define  the  object  of  a  system  of  steady  indulgence. 
The  process,  in  this  case,  had  apparently  produced  no 
pernicious  effects,  and  the  result  seemed  to  justify  its 
application. 

Love  for  Natalie  had  been  the  weak  spot  in  her 
sister's  otherwise  strong,  unsentimental  character. 
In  its  presence  all  Rhea's  wise  theories  of  discipline 
and  strict  control,  which  she  so  earnestly  inculcated 
in  the  minds  of  the  mothers  of  the  parish,  were 
transformed  into  smiling  acquiescence  and  amused 
compliance.  From  the  hour  of  her  birth  the  child 
had  ruled  the  whole  household  —  fortunately  her 
tyranny  had  been  a  mild  one.  A  nature  less  sweet 
and  unselfish  than  Natalie's  might  easily  have  suf- 
fered detriment  from  such  a  system  of  steady  humor- 
ing, whose  reaction  might  have  proved  a  sufficient 
retribution  to  those  who  had  sanctioned  it.  But  it 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  67 

was  not  so  in  Natalie's  case.  The  loving  clemency 
with  which  she  had  been  treated  had  brought  forth 
and  perfected  all  the  beautiful  traits  in  her  character, 
and  they  were  many. 

Love  had  begotten  love  ;  unselfishness,  generosity  ; 
tolerance,  charity ;  tenderness,  thonghtfnlness  for 
others ;  and  sympathy,  warm-heartedness.  Rhea's 
smiles  had  engendered  an  abundant  harvest  of  mirth 
and  gayety ;  and  tears  were  as  un  frequent  visitors  to 
Natalie's  eyes  as  frowns  to  Rhea's  brow. 

It  was  to  a  pleasant  home  that  Robert  Wyndham  . 
was  bringing  his  friend  on  that  sweet  June  afternoon. 
The  dog-cart,  a  comfortable  enough  affair,  albeit  like 
its  master,  a  trifle  overpast  and  superannuated,  had 
been  sent  to  the  station  to  meet  the  travellers,  and 
Rhea  was  putting  a  few  smoothing  touches  to  her 
hair  and  wishing  that  Natalie  could  have  found  it 
quite  as  convenient  to  return  before,  as  after,  their 
guest's  arrival,  for  she  felt  how  much  more  prepos- 
sessing the  rectory  was  to  a  stranger  when  its  some- 
what shabby  walls  were  irradiated  by  the  light  of 
Natalie's  charming  face. 

It  had  been  some  weeks  since  she  had  received  the 
first  intimation  of  the  possible  advent  of  a  guest. 
Robert  had  taken  a  holiday  trip  after  his  ordination 
for  the  purpose  of  visiting  his  old  fellow-student, 


68  DOCTOR  LAM  AH. 

Dr.  Lainav,  in  America.  He  had  written  her  of  the 
sad  tidings  that  awaited  his  arrival,  in  the  death  of 
his  friend's  wife,  news  for  which,  as  she  well  knew, 
he  had  not  been  altogether  unprepared.  A  little 
later  had  come  a  letter  speaking  of  Dr.  Lamar's 
restless,  depressed  condition,  attributable  partly  to 
his  bereavement,  bub  in  the  main  to  an  overworked 
brain  and  body.  In  this  communication  Robert  had 
mentioned  that  he  was  urging  his  friend  to  abandon 
his  professional  duties  for  a  time,  and  try  what  a 
change  would  do  for  him.  "  Possibly,"  he  added,  "  I 
may  be  able  to  induce  him  to  return  with  me.  In 
which  event  I  know  you  will  give  him  a  welcome 
for  my  sake,  as  you  will  soon  learn  to  admire  him 
for  his  own." 

She  had  been  wondering,  as  she  occupied  herself 
in  preparations  for  his  coming,  what  manner  of  man 
this  friend  of  her  brother's  would  prove  to  be.  She 
was  well  aware  of  the  enthusiastic  esteem  in  which 
Robert  held  him ;  yet  there  had  always  been  a  slight 
reservation  in  Robert's  mention  of  Dr.  Lamar,  which 
had  aroused  in  the  thoughtful  sister  certain  vague 
and  undefined  suspicions,  at  which  her  brother 
laughed  heartily. 

This  reservation  was  of  course  due  to  Wyndham's 
consciousness  of  his  friend's  atheistical  tendencies, — 


DOCTOR   LAMA  It.  69 

tendencies  which,  since  those  intimate  Heidelberg 
days,  had  strengthened  into  convictions  whose  amaz- 
ing breadth  of  scepticism  had  been  an  appalling 
discovery  consequent  upon  their  reunion. 

Well  cognizant  of  the  stronghold  that  a  deep 
religious  belief  possessed  in  the  hearts  of  his 
home-circle,  Robert  had  carefully  refrained  from 
mentioning  Lamar's  agnosticism  to  any  of  its  mem- 
bers, fearing  that  by  so  doing  he  should  do  his  friend 
an  incalculable  injury  in  the  minds  of  those  whom 
he  desired  should  learn  to  know  and  admire  him. 
Love  for  Lamar  had  induced  him,  somewhat  against 
his  better  judgment,  to  propose,  nay,  even  to  urge, 
a  visit  to  the  quiet,  tranquil  rectory,  in  the  hope 
that  the  change  from  the  over-taxed  life  of  the  phy- 
sician to  the  restful  existence  of  the  idle  guest 
might  prove  successful  in  ridding  Lamar's  horizon 
of  the  cloud  of  despondency  which  seemed  settling 
upon  it. 

The  village  clock,  whose  chimes  Rhea  could  vaguely 
distinguish  as  the  burden  of  the  soft  June  breeze,  was 
striking  four,  as  Miss  Wyndham  gave  a  last  glance  at 
the  sweet,  lavender-scented  guest  chamber,  whose 
fresh,  daintily  nice  appearance  breathed  an  air  of 
silent  welcome  to  its  coming  tenant.  The  roses 
which  Natalie  had  so  unceremoniously  deserted  in 


70  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

the  morning  were  carefully  arranged  upon  mantel 
and  shaving-stand.  The  old-fashioned,  white  dimity 
curtains  with  their  cunning  little  ball  fringe  were 
looped  wisely  back  from  the  generous  windows, 
whose  casements  were  made  up  of  many  tiny, 
leaded  panes,  to  permit  of  the  free  entrance  of 
the  perfumed  breeze,  as  well  as  of  the  full  view  of 
a  veritable  wild  garden,  Natalie's  special  charge, 
wherein  she  allowed  horticulture  to  fairly  run  riot, 
undisturbed  by  the  confinement  of  plot  or  parterre, 
and  which  was  an  actual  tangle  of  pretty,  old-time 
flowers. 

This  made  a  charming  foreground  to  a  delicious 
landscape  of  the  village,  backed  by  a  hazy  suggestion 
of  soft,  rolling  hills.  A  thread  of  silvery  water 
wound  in  and  out  among  the  green  fields  and 
meadows,  and  shone  like  burnished  metal  in  the 
sun's  rays.  A  glimpse  of  the  highroad,  too,  was 
visible  from  the  windows,  and  because  of  this  Miss 
Wyndham  was  made  aware  that  the  antiquated  dog- 
cart was  rapidly  nearing  the  house. 

It  was  a  habit  at  the  rectory  for  its  hosts  to  go  out 
upon  the  porch  and  greet  their  guests,  anticipating 
with  cordial  welcome  the  ordinary  summons  for  ad- 
mittance. Rhea  had  scarcely  time  to  call  her  father 
to  his  post  before  the  cart  drew  up. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  71 

Before  the  motion  of  the  vehicle  had  fairly  ceased 
Robert,  flinging  the  reins  to  Barker,  had  jumped  to 
the  ground  and  drawn  Rhea  into  his  embrace ;  a 
warm  clasp  of  his  father's  hand,  and  then  he  turned 
to  his  friend. 

As  Lamar  stood  awaiting  his  turn  for  recognition 
he  felt  a  thrill  of  genuine  pleasure  in  his  surround- 
ings. It  almost  seemed  like  a  home-coming  to  him 
also,  there  was  such  an  air  of  peace  and  comfort 
about  this  homely  English  dwelling.  The  clasp  of 
Rhea's  broad  hand,  and  the  kind,  cordial  words  of 
the  old  rector  enhanced  this  comfortable  impression, 
and  he  felt  a  warm  sense  of  gratitude  to  Wyndhani 
for  having  brought  him  hither. 

As  they  entered  the  sitting-room  an  exclamation 
of  delight  escaped  him,  for  which  he  quickly  apolo- 
gized in  such  nattering  terms  as  brought  a  flush  of 
pleasure  to  Rhea's  cheeks. 

'•'  Oh,  pardon  me,  Miss  Wyndham ; "  he  said ;  "  but 
I  have  never  before  seen  such  an  atmosphere  of  real 
homeliness  in  a  room.  You  cannot  tell  how  delight- 
ful it  is  to  me." 

The  room  was  indeed  charming,  yet  its  simplicity 
in  the  matter  of  furnishing  would  have  outrivalled 
that  of  most  American  middle-class  abodes.  It  was 
a  long,  low-studded  apartment,  with  glass  doors  at  the 


72  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

further  end  opening  upon  the  back  of  Natalie's 
garden.  The  furniture  was  wicker-work,  generously 
supplied  with  chintz-covered  cushions  of  various  hues 
and  patterns.  Tables  of  all  sorts  and  sizes  were 
scattered  about,  convenient  receptacles  for  books, 
work,  or  whatever  objects  encumbered  the  hands.  A 
cottage  piano  stood  in  an  angle,  and  a  couple  of  broad, 
low  lounges  invited  the  weary  or  lazy  to  siesta. 
Flowers  were  liberally  strewn  everywhere,  and  the 
latticed  windows  were  thrown  hospitably  open  to 
the  breeze. 

It  suddenly  seemed  to  Lamar  that  he  had  never 
been  in  a  home  before.  Houses  in  plenty  he  had 
visited,  one  or  two  he  had  even  lived  in ;  but  not 
under  any  roof  hitherto  had  he  experienced  this 
material  definition  of  the  word  home.  As  he  gazed 
about,  becoming  a  willing  victim  to  the  pervading 
atmosphere,  he  was  moved  to  further  expression  of 
his  feelings  on  the  subject,  thereby  quite  completing 
Rhea's  subjugation. 

"  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Wyndham,"  he  said,  "  I  believe 
that  hitherto  I  have  lived  a  la  franyaise,  cTiez  moi 
For  the  first  time  I  understand  the  difference  between 
the  term  and  the  English  monosyllable,  home.  I  can 
quite  comprehend  now,  Wyndham's  impatience  to 
return." 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  73 

Tea  was  being  served  on  one  of  the  little  wicker 
tables,  and  Robert  was  talking  America  to  his  father 
and  sister  when  Natalie  arrived.  Her  coming  was 
heralded  by  the  sound  of  Jenny's  hoofs,  and  Lamar, 
who  was  sitting  with  Rhea  in  one  of  the  broad 
window-seats,  glanced-  at  her  with  a  look  of  inquiry 
as  the  mare  came  up  to  the  door.  * 

"  It  is  the  child,"  Rhea  remarked,  half  uncon- 
sciously ;  then  correcting  herself,  and  laughing  a  little 
at  her  unceremonious  answer,  "  I  mean  it  is  my 
younger  sister,  Natalie." 


74  DOCTOR  LAM  AIL 


CHAPTER  V. 

"  MY  younger  sister,  Natalie "  occupied  Lamar's 
thoughts  not  altogether  agreeably  during  some 
moments  of  the  time  allotted  for  the  preparation  of 
his  toilet  for  dinner. 

Evening  dress  was  not  de  rigeur  at  the  rectory  on 
ordinary  occasions,  a  fact  which  chimed  in  harmoni- 
ously with  Lamar's  American  prejudices,  and  with 
the  general  atmosphere  of  unconventionality  which 
pervaded  the  establishment.  And  it  was  while  he 
was  effecting  the  compromise  of  a  black  cutaway  that 
the  recollection  of  Natalie  Wyndham  occurred  to  him. 

He  had  caught  but  a  cursory  view  of  her  as  she 
dismounted,  for  she  had  declared  herself  too  dusty 
for  presentation  in  response  to  Robert's  request  that 
she  should  come  in  and  meet  his  friend,  and,  having 
begged  a  reprieve,  had  vanished  into  some  portion  of 
the  house  unfamiliar  to  the  guest's  acquaintance. 

However,  this  glimpse  had  revealed  to  Lamar  that 
she  was  a  young  girl  and,  moreover,  a  merry,  laughter- 
loving  creature,  in  both  of  which  conditions  she 
failed  to  meet  with  his  notion  of  the  fitness  of 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  75 

things.  In  the  first  place  she  made  an  awkward  fifth 
in  the  pleasant  parti  carre,  whose  proportions  had 
seemed  quite  perfect  without  her,  and  in  the  next  she 
would  very  probably  be  noisy  and  flirtatious,  as  were 
most  of  the  younger  Xew  York  girls  with  whom  Dr. 
Lamar  had  come  in  contact. 

Now,  as  he  had  come  to  Fordham  for  absolute  rest, 
it  seemed  to  him  a  little  hard  that  this  unwelcome 
element  need  have  obtruded  itself  upon  his  antici- 
pated tranquillity.  Yet  he  was  perforce  obliged  to 
confess  to  himself,  notwithstanding  this  annoyance, 
that  the  rectory  and  its  inmates  had,  with  this 
exception,  so  widely  exceeded  his  expectations  that 
he  could  afford  a  little  margin  in  the  way  of 
disappointment. 

For  some  reason,  either  physical  or  mental,  he  had 
found  it  impossible  to  return  to  his  professional 
duties  after  his  wife's  death  with  anything  like  the 
same  degree  of  interest  with  which  they  had  for- 
merly inspired  him.  He  had  made  a  brave  effort 
to  recover  his  self-poise,  but  for  the  first  time  in  his 
life  found  his  will-strength  insufficient  to  meet  the 
demand  laid  upon  it.  He  felt  utterly  weary  arid 
incapacitated,  and  was  at  last  fain  to  consent  to 
Wyndham's  proposition  of  a  period  of  rest  and  travel. 

From    the    bustle    and    confusion    of     the    great 


76  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

American  metropolis,  to  the  peace  and  quiet  of  the 
tiny  English  village ;  from  the  rigid  formality  of  his 
own  house,  whose  mistress  had  lacked  the  feminine 
talent  for  harmonious  and  attractive  arrangement, 
to  this  charming  old  dwelling  whose  every  nook  and 
corner  breathed  evidence  of  taste  and  loving  care, 
the  transition  was  not  only  a  wide  but  an  extremely 
welcome  one. 

A  feeling  of  dolce  far  niente  took  possession  of  him, 
and  tranquil  monotony,  unbroken  by  demand  or 
responsibility,  seemed  to  him  of  all  earthly  attain- 
ments the  most  desirable. 

He  had  been  told  to  go  down  into  the  sitting-room 
again  when  he  should  be  ready,  and  so  presently  he 
descended  the  wide,  crooked  staircase,  and  re-entered 
the  shadowy  room.  Evidently  his  preparations  had 
anticipated  the  expectations  of  his  hosts,  for  lie 
found  the  room  untenanted.  He  occupied  a  few 
moments  in  strolling  about  the  apartment  and 
familiarizing  himself  with  its  adornments.  Then, 
tempted  by  the  open  glass  doors,  he  wandered  out 
into  the  wilderness  of  sweets  which  Natalie  called 
her  garden. 

The  profusion  and  variety  of  bloom  was  quite  a 
botanical  revelation  to  the  city-bred  man.  Flowers 
had  heretofore  meant  to  him  a  costly  luxury  to  be 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  77 

purchased  carefully  and  with  discretion.  Here  roses 
—  for  whose  fellows  he  had  often  paid  a  dollar 
apiece  —  fairly  rioted  in  reckless  abundance  ;  while 
hundreds  of  blossoms  utterly  foreign  to  Lamar's 
experience  made  the  spot  gay  and  charming  by  their 
fragrance  and  brilliant  beauty. 

Suddenly  a  sound  of  voices  quite  close  at  hand 
arrested  his  attention,  and  a  burst  of  the  gayest, 
most  joyous  laughter  he  had  ever  heard,  forced  a 
sympathetic  smile  to  his  lips. 

"  Wonderful !  "  he  said  to  himself.  "  By  Jove  !  I 
did  not  think  any  one  beyond  the  age  of  childhood 
could  laugh  so  heartily  and  spontaneously  !  " 

In  an  endeavor  to  discover  whence  the  sounds 
proceeded,  he  held  his  breath  to  listen,  and  heard  a 
voice,  half  stifled  by  amusement,  exclaim,  — 

"You  sent  for  sweetbreads,  and  Benham  brought 
you  buns !  Oh,  Becky  ! "  followed  by  another  peal 
of  merriment,  in  which  were  mingled  expostulations, 
in  tones  which  Lamar  recognized  as  those  of  Miss 
Wyndham. 

"  Hush,  hush,  Natalie  !  He  will  certainly  hear  you. 
Dear  me  !  it  is  no  such  laughing  matter  after  all,  for 
I  have  no  other  entree  for  dinner." 

"  Why  not  serve  the  buns,  au  natnrel,  accompanied 
by  a  sauce  piquante  in  the  way  of  the  story  itself  ? 


78  DOCTOR   LAM  All. 

If  the  man  has  the  slightest  suspicion  of  humor  in 
his  composition,  he  will  relish  the  joke  quite  as  much 
as  he  would  have  done  the  original  dish." 

There  was  another  little  amused  chuckle,  and 
Lamar  had  just  time  to  move  to  a  more  becoming 
distance,  when  a  sort  of  Dutch  half-door  opened,  and 
a  girl  came  out  into  the  garden,  and,  unobservant  of 
his  presence,  proceeded  to  a  great  bush  of  sweet-brier 
roses,  upon  which  she  evidently  intended  to  commit 
depredation.  But  the  blossoms  apparently  approved 
her  thievish  purpose,  for  they  nodded  and  swayeM 
toward  her  as  she  approached,  brushing  her  gown 
and  caressing  her  slender  figure  with  mute  endear- 
ments as  she  paused  beside  them. 

Lamar  had  an  excellent  opportunity  to  observe  her 
as  she  stood  so  near  him,  and  yet  so  unconscious  of 
his  proximity,  and  for  some  reason  the  picture  that 
she  made,  framed  in  the  garden's  bloom,  never  escaped 
his  memory,  even  in  long  after-years. 

It  was  that  of  a  tall  and  rather  slight  maiden,  clad 
in  an  exceedingly  simple  gown  of  some  thin,  white 
material,  whose  transparency  about  the  neck  and 
arms  permitted  the  warmer  hue  of  the  flesh  beneath 
to  tint  its  purity  with  a  soft  pink.  Her  head  was 
somewhat  small,  but  firmly  set  on  the  full,  round 
throat;  the  hair  was  dusky  and  very  abundant,  being 


DOCTOR  LAM  AS.  79 

gathered  simply  and  carelessly  back  from  the  brow 
in  a  fashion  that  struck  Lamar  as  exceedingly  quaint 
and  original,  and  knotted  loosely  at  the  back  of  the 
head. 

What  impressed  him  most  forcibly  in  the  girl's 
appearance  was  not  her  beauty  —  though  he  admitted 
that  she  was  quite  lovely  enough  for  even  the  most 
critical  taste  —  but  the  absolute  joyousness  and  ex- 
emption from  care  and  sorrow  which  shone  from  her 
dark  eyes,  and  were  apparent  in  every  line  of  her 
face.  He  could  have  sworn  that  the  shadow  of 
trouble  had  never,  even  transiently,  clouded  her 
countenance;  and  the  look  of  unworldliness  and 
innocence  that  lay  upon  its  every  curve  was  almost 
pathetic  to  one  who  recognized  the  certainty  that  all 
of  Eve's  daughters  must  sooner  or  later  eat  of  the 
tree  of  knowledge  of  good  and  evil. 

Even  now  as  she  stood  there,  believing  herself 
alone,  a  smile,  probably  bom  of  mere  habit,  was 
playing  about  her  mouth  to  the  accompaniment  of  a 
little  humming  refrain,  which  of  a  sudden  yielded  to 
a  cry  of  pain  as  a  treacherous  thorn  dealt  her  brief 
punishment  for  rifling  its  fairer  comrades.  This 
little  episode  afforded  Lamar  an  excuse  for  coming 
forward. 

"  Pardon  me,"  he  said,  "  may  I  not  cut  those  for 
you?" 


80  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Natalie  started  at  the  unexpected  interruption, 
and  then,  transferring  her  last  acquisition  to  the 
companionship  of  its  fellows  if!  her  left  hand,  held 
out  the  right  with  a  bright,  cordial  glance  —  a  little 
tempered  by  the  recollection  of  the  stranger's  recent 
bereavement,  a  fact  which  had  weighed  somewhat 
heavily  upon  her  spirits  since  she  knew  that  they 
were  to  be  honored  with  his  society. 

"  Dr.  Lamar  ?  "  she  said  half  questioningly.  "  I 
am  Natalie  Wyndham,  Robert's  sister,  and  very  glad 
to  see  you  at  Fordham." 

When  they  were  seated  at  dinner,  a  little  later,  she 
had  a  much  better  chance,  beneath  the  lamp-light,  to 
see  what  this  friend  and  guest  of  Robert's  looked 
like.  And  on  the  whole  she  was  decidedly  prepos- 
sessed. She  liked  his  dark  gray  eyes  with  their  look 
of  grave  thoughtfulness,  and  admired  the  power 
which  was  the  keynote  of  the  strong,  earnest  face. 
His  irregularity  of  feature  did  not  trouble  her  in 
the  least,  though  she  did  object  seriously  to  his 
beard  —  an  abhorrence  of  whiskers  being  one  of  her 
prejudices.  She  was  especially  drawn  to  him  by 
reason  of  the  gray  hairs  which  were  so  plentifully 
sprinkled  over  his  broad,  intellectual  brow,  and  by 
what  she  chose  to  imagine  the  melancholy  of  his 
expression  and  bearing  —  which,  less  romantically 


DOCTOR   LAMAB.  81 

interpreted,  was  simply  a  gravity  partly  natural  and 
partly  due  to  the  influence  of  a  serious  and  exhaust- 
ing profession. 

Being  at  that  age  when  melancholy  in  the  other 
sex  arouses  a  special  interest  in  the  female  heart, 
Natalie  felt  her  susceptibilities  keenly  touched  by 
Lamar's  apparent  sadness,  and  secretly  vowed  herself 
to  a  mission  which  should  have  for  its  aim  the 
lightening  of  the  burden  of  mourning,  which,  she  felt 
convinced,  was  depressing  Dr.  Lamar's  soul. 

As  for  Laiuar  himself,  he  paid  but  scant  attention 
to  the  girl  after  the  rest  of  the  family  appeared,  and 
quite  devoted  himself  to  the  rector,  with  whom  he 
apparently  had  much  in  common. 

This  left  the  others  at  liberty  to  discuss  home 
topics,  and  gave  Robert  a  chance  to  inform  himself 
of  the  news  and  gossip  of  the  neighborhood. 

"  How  do  you  and  Grafton  get  on  nowadays, 
Natalie  ?  "  he  asked  mischievously,  after  a  number 
of  current  local  events  had  been  disposed  of. 

"  Oh,  horribly !  He  is  a  dreadful  boor,  I  think, 
and  I  only  wonder  that  papa  and  Rhea  can  tolerate 
such  an  ill-mannered  person." 

"  Hah,  hah  !  What  now  ?  Has  the  poor  fellow's 
admiration  culminated  again  ?  Are  not  the  periods 
becoming  more  frequent  ?  If  I  remember  aright,  his 


82  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

fifth  crisis  occurred  just  before  my  departure.  I 
fancied  the  effects  of  your  rejections  usually  were  of 
longer  duration  ;  hey,  Rhea?" 

Miss  Wyndham  smiled,  while  Lamar  cast  a  little 
amused  glance  at  Natalie,  whose  cheeks  had  grown 
warm  with  a  pretty  blush,  while  she  expostulated 
hotly  with  her  tormentor. 

"  Stop,  Robert,"  she  said.  "  What  false  impres- 
sions you  are  giving  Dr.  Lamar!  It  is  nothing  of 
the  kind,  I  assure  you,  sir;  Robert  is  jesting,"  she 
protested,  turning  to  their  guest.  "  It  is  just  this 
that  is  the  trouble,  Robert.  Derrick  Grafton  con- 
siders himself  so  much  older  than  I,  and  so  vastly  my 
superior  in  knowledge  of  the  world.  He  excuses  his 
rudeness  on  the  ground  that  he  wants  to  shield  me 
from  contamination — only  fancy!  He  was  detest1 
able  to  me  once  before  in  the  same  way.  I  met  him 
one  day  coming  over  the  meadows  from  the  river  — 
he  had  been  spending  an  idle  day  punting  about,  he 
said.  I  saw  a  book  with  a  yellow  cover  peeping  out 
of  his  pocket,  and  asked  him  what  it  was.  He  got 
terribly  red,  and  said  it  was  a  French  book  which  he 
had  been  reading  from  a  critical  standpoint  to  oblige 
a  friend.  I  told  him  I  should  like  to  read  it,  as  I 
had  such  difficulty  in  keeping  up  my  French  for  want 
of  material.  Then  he  got  on  his  stilts,  and  said,  in 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  83 

that  superior  tone  •  of  his,  'I  am  sorry  I  cannot  let 
you  have  this  work,  but  it  is  not  a  proper  book  for 
you  to  read.'  Now,  fancy  the  absurdity  of  that !  As 
if  a  clergyman  has  any  right  to  read  a  book  which 
is  unfit  for  a  lady ! " 

She  looked  very  indignant,  and  her  dark  blue  eyes 
(Laraar  had  discovered  them  to  be  blue)  flashed  like 
those  of  an  angry  child. 

The  rest  laughed,  and  Robert,  bent  on  drawing  her 
out,  asked,  — 

"  How  long  did  you  make  the  poor  fellow  roast  for 
that  offence  ?  " 

"  Well,  I  let  him  see  that  I  disapproved  of  him, 
and  was  very  cool  to  him  until  the  school-treat,  when 
somehow  or  other  we  got  friendly  over  Jemmy 
Barstow.  You  know  what  a  little  imp  he  is,  Robert  ? 
Well,  Lady  Mary  had.  sent  a  barrel  of  lemonade  as 
part  of  her  contribution.  Two  or  three  of  the  staves 
were  taken  out,  and  the  barrel,  covered  with  flowers 
and  vines,  was  placed  sidewise  on  a  low  stand. 
Nelly  Milton,  dressed  as  a  Rebekah  at  the  Well,  pre- 
sided over  the  liquid,  which  she  ladled  out  into 
glasses.  Presently  she  called  to  Derrick  Graf  ton 
that  the  lemonade  seemed  to  be  disappearing  very 
rapidly  and  unaccountably.  He  and  I  both  went  up 
and  made  an  examination,  which  proved  that  some 


84  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

one  had  taken  the  stopper  from  the  bung-hole  be- 
neath, permitting  the  lemonade  to  flow  away  in  a 
silent  stream.  As  we  were  remedying  the  trouble, 
we  heard  a  groan  from  some  bushes  near  by.  I  in- 
vestigated, and  found  Jemmy  Barstow  fairly  doubled 
up  and  writhing  in  the  agonies  of  colic.  The  mys- 
tery explained  itself.  Poor  Jemmy  did  suffer  hor- 
ribly, but  we  could  not  help  shouting  over  his 
torments.  Such  swift  retribution  was  too  ridiculous 
for  anything." 

Probably  Robert  suspected  that  Natalie  had  rel'ated 
the  incident  with  the  intention  of  diverting  his 
attention  from  the  main  subject,  but  he  was  in  the 
humor  for  teasing,  and  would  not  spare  the  girl. 

"  Very  funny,"  he  said,  as  the  general  amusement 
subsided.  "But  how  about  this  later  affair  with 
Graf  ton  ?  What  was  the  casus  belli  in  this  case  ?  " 

Natalie  looked  reproachfully  at  him. 

"Robert,  you  might  leave  me  alone,  I  think.  I 
don't  believe  my  quarrels  can  be  very  interesting 
matters  to  Dr.  Lamar." 

Her  brother's  face  assumed  a  sudden  gravity. 

"Enough,  my  dear;  you  shall  not  tell  us.  You 
evidently  feel  yourself  to  have  been  in  the  wrong  in 
this  affair,  and  it  certainly  would  be  brutal  to  force 
you  to  show  yourself  in  an  unfavorable  light  before  a 
guest.  Say  no  more,  my  child." 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  85 

Of  course  he  gained  his  point.  His  reply  had  been 
well  calculated  to  prolong  his  amusement.  Natalie's 
pride  sprang  at  once  into  arms. 

"  You  know  it  is  not  that,  Robert,  but  —  well,  I 
will  tell  you  in  order  to  convince  you  how  absurd 
Derrick  is.  The  other  evening  there  was  to  be  a  lec- 
ture in  the  hall  in  the  village.  It  had  been  well 
advertised,  and  ever  so  many  of  the  nicest  people 
were  going.  I  asked  Derrick  to  take  me,  and  he 
refused  flatly.  Now,  what  do  you  think  of  that  ?  " 

There  was  triumph  in  her  tone.  She  felt  that  she 
had  scored  a  decided  point  against  her  adversary  ; 
and  Lamar,  looking  at  her  brilliant,  animated  face, 
thought  that  a  young  man  loving  her,  as  this  man 
probably  did,  must  have  been  moved  by  weighty 
reasons  to  refuse  her  petition.  He  was  curious  to 
discover  what  the  cogent  cause  had  been. 

"  And  pray,  Miss  Natalie,"  he  asked  gravely,  "  if  it 
be  not  an  impertinent  question,  what  reason  did  Mr. 
Grafton  assign  for  such  singular  conduct  ?  " 

The  girl  turned  her  glance  fully  upon  him  as  she 
replied,  — 

"He  said  the  lecturer  was  an  agnostic,  and  that  his 
views  upon  any  subject  could  not  but  be  —  what 
were  his  words  ?  —  oh  —  '  pernicious  and  schismatic.' 
So  narrow !  As  if  I  were  weak  enough  to  allow  my 


86  DOCTOR  LAM  AIL 

faith  in  the  dear  Lord  to  be  shaken  by  anything  a 
wretched  infidel  might  say." 

Lamar  started,  and  a  hot  flush  dyed  Ids  face  as  he 
met  Natalie's  indignant  glance.  The  expression 
"  wretched  infidel "  as  uttered  by  her  seemed  to  him 
a  most  withering  term  of  reproach.  For  the  first 
time  in  his  life  the  thought  assailed  him  that  his 
breadth  of  view  was  a  thing  to  be  ashamed  of,  and 
he  felt  an  earnest  desire  that  his  rationalistic  con- 
victions should  never  be  made  known  in  this 
household. 

He  made  no  response  to  Natalie's  words,  but 
Robert,  appreciating  the  uncomfortable  position  of 
his  guest,  though  secretly  amused,  courteously  has- 
tened to  change  the  subject,  which  he  succeeded  in 
doing,  not,  however,  until  the  rector  had  remarked  in 
warm  tones  of  approval,  — 

"  And  Derrick  was  quite  right,  little  one.  He  is  a 
good  lad  and  safe  to  be  trusted  with  the  care  of  an 
innocent  little  maiden ;  hey,  Rhea  ?  " 

It  was  out  in  the  quaint,  old  garden,  a  little  later, 
that  a  topic  was  introduced  which  gave  Lamar  an 
opportunity  of  satisfying  himself  upon  a  point  which 
had  hitherto  somewhat  perplexed  him ;  namely, 
whether  Robert  Wyndham's  affections  were  in  any 
way  engaged,  or  whether,  as  was  evident  from  his 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  87 

hearty,  jovial  carelessness  of  manner,  he  were  really 
fancy  free. 

Natalie  had  been  chatting  volubly  (she  was  rather 
apt  to  monopolize  the  conversation  when  permitted) 
concerning  her  morning's  visit  at  the  Dnnstanes' 
when,  of  a  sudden,  she  launched  an  announcement 
that  made  the  color  fade  from  Robert's  ruddy  face  in 
a  manner  that  spoke  volumes  to  an  observant  spec- 
tator. 

"  You  won't  see  Eleanor  for  some  time,  Robert, 
unless  you  happen  up  to  London.  She's  gone  up  for 
the  rest  of  the  season  to  stay  with  the  Mansfields. 
Georgie  told  me  to-day  that  Lord  Parker  has  offered 
himself  to  her,  and  she  is  considering  the  matter." 

There  was  unmistakable  agitation  in  Wyndham's 
manner  as  he  turned  to  his  older  sister. 

"  Have  you  heard  anything  of  this,  Rhea  ? "  he 
asked  gravely.  "Do  you  really  believe  Eleanor 
Dunstane  would  marry  that  popinjay  ?  " 

Rhea  looked  at  Natalie  reproachfully. 

"  What  a  chatterer  you  are,  little  one ! "  she  said, 
shaking  her  head ;  then  to  Robert,  "  I  really  do  not 
know,  dear,  though  I  am  almost  afraid  of  it.  There 
has  been  a  good  deal  of  family  influence  brought  to 
bear  on  poor  Eleanor,  I  fancy.  The  Dunstanes  are  a 
large  family,  you  know,  and  Eleanor's  aunt,  Mrs. 


88  DOCTOR  LAM AR. 

Mansfield,  has  become  a  little  angry,  I  imagine,  at 
her  persistent  refusal  of  her  many  good  opportunities. 
I  should  scarcely  think  Eleanor  would  go  up  to  Lon- 
don now,  when  she  is  sure  to  be  thrown  in  Lord 
Parker's  way,  unless  she  means  to  accept  him." 

"  I  am  so  sorry  Dr.  Lamar  will  not  see  her,"  Nata- 
lie exclaimed.  "  She  is  our  beauty,  you  must  know, 
Dr.  Lamar,"  she  went  on  explanatorily ;  "  and  a  tre- 
mendous belle  in  London.  She  has  had  any  quantity 
'of  offers,  but  has  refused  them  all.  The  Dunstanes 
are  our  dearest  friends,  and  Robert  must  take  you 
over  to  call  upon  them." 

"Even  with  the  grand  attraction  absent?" 

"  Oh,  yes  !  It  is  too  bad ;  still,  you  must  see  what 
a  charming  family  they  are." 

After  a  little  more  desultory  conversation  the  even- 
ing drew  to  a  close.  The  household  were  assembled 
in  the  rector's  study  for  evening  prayers,  and,  as 
Lamar  noted  the  loving  reverence  with  which  the 
simple  devotions  were  performed,  he  felt  a  pang  of 
regret  that  so  beautiful  a  faith  had  not  a  surer  foun- 
dation ;  and  while  refraining  from  joining  in  a  wor- 
ship which  he  felt  an  idle  one,  he  yet  bowed  his  head 
in  respect  to  a  belief  which  held  so  strong  a  place  in 
the  hearts  of  those  who  to-day  had  welcomed  him  as 
one  of  their  own. 


DOCTOR  LAMAIi.  89 

As,  later,  he  lay  waiting  for  sleep  to  settle  down 
upon  his  eyelids,  the  thought  of  the  discovery  he 
had  that  evening  made,  anent  Kobert  Wyndham, 
recurred  to  his  mind  and  gave  him  food  for  reflection. 
The  idea  of  his  friend's  possible  unhappiness  sad- 
dened him.  It  seemed  to  him  too  bad  that  so  good  a 
fellow  as  Wyndham — his  somewhat  narrow  convic- 
tions excepted  —  should  be  brought  to  suffer  such 
pain  as  the  loss  of  the  woman  he  loved  would  entail. 
What  effect,  he  wondered,  would  suffering  and  disap- 
pointment have  upon  his  friend's  faith  in  the  wisdom 
of  a  personal  and  beneficent  God  ?  Would  he  meekly 
bow  his  head  to  this  decree,  or  would  his  spirit  revolt 
against  the  burden  laid  upon  it  ? 

He  knew  Wyndham's  character  to  be  not  very 
strong,  though  obstinately  tenacious,  and  he  feared 
the  result  of  disaster  to  a  passion  which,  as  was  evi- 
dent from  his  late  exhibition  of  feeling,  was  a  deep 
one. 

From  this  Lam ar  fell  to  speculating  upon  the  uni- 
versal law  of  suffering,  and  wondered  how  Christians 
reconciled  it  with  their  conception  of  a  merciful 
Creator.  Mental  suffering  he  set  aside,  believing  by 
reason  of  his  practical  nature  and  strong  will  that  it 
was  often  the  result  of  physical  causes  and  capable 
of  being  subdued  by  an  effort  of  determination.  But 


90  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

how  to  harmonize  the  existence  of  a  tender  and  all- 
powerful  Father  with  the  pain  and  anguish  of  body 
which  it  was  his  mission  in  life  to  relieve,  he  knew 
not. 

He,  materialist  that  he  was,  could  find  it  perfectly 
comprehensible  that  a  violation  of  the  fixed  and  unal- 
terable laws  of  nature  should  entail  consequences 
even  upon  the  third  and  fourth  generation  of  those 
who  sinned;  but  how  believers  in  an  omnipotent 
Deity  reconciled  the  suffering  which  was  permitted 
to  fall  without  stint  upon  His  most  obedient  and 
loving  children,  with  the  promise  of  mercy  and 
clemency  assured  to  those  who  put  their  trust  in  Him, 
Lamar  was  at  a  loss  to  understand. 

In  his  extensive  labors  among  suffering  humanity 
he  had  failed  to  observe  a  single  instance  of  the 
efficacy  of  prayer  in  material  benefit.  He  had 
watched  the  germs  of  mortality  increase  as  rapidly 
in  one  whose  whole  soul  was  her  God's,  as  in  another 
whose  career  had  been  one  long  tissue  of  crime  and 
infidelity.  He  had  heard  prayers,  entreaty,  supplica- 
tion upraised  from  aching  hearts  to  their  beloved 
object  of  worship,  but  he  had  invariably  seen  faith 
violated,  trust  betrayed,  and  promises  unfulfilled  as 
far  as  his  finite  judgment  could  discern. 

It  might  be,  as  preachers  averred,  that  spiritual 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  91 

gifts  were  bestowed  upon  the  soul  in  return ;  but 
those,  as  he  well  knew,  were  not  what  the  petitioners 
desired.  To  give  a  hungry  beggar  a  recipe  for  mak- 
ing bread  is  not  to  comply  with  his  request  for  food, 
neither  is  an  increase  of  spirituality  a  direct  answer 
to  a  passionate  appeal  for  prolonged  life. 

Lamar  pulled  himself  up  short  in  his  heretical 
ruminations  as  a  little  phrase  recurred  to  his  mind. 
He  seemed  still  to  hear  the  indignant  throb  in  the 
sweet  young  voice,  and  to  meet  again  the  scornful 
glance  in  the  dark,  beautiful  eyes  of  the  speaker  as 
the  words  "a  wretched  infidel"  vibrated  harshly 
throughout  his  consciousness. 

Yes,  that  was  what  he  was,  certainly  —  an  infidel. 
And,  from  Natalie  Wyndham's  point  of  view,  neces- 
sarily wretched.  He  was  a  proud  man,  and  had 
never  been  wont  to  regard  himself  in  the  light  of  an 
object  for  scorn  and  pity.  It  was  intolerable  to  him 
that  a  simple  child,  a  mere  chit  of  a  girl,  should  be 
allowed  to  consider  herself  his  moral  superior. 

But  what  a  pretty  chit  this  was.  How  deep  and 
glowing  was  the  glance  of  her  blue  eyes !  How 
sweet  and  joyous  her  laugh !  How  tender  her  man- 
ner to  those  she  loved !  How  —  And  so  Lamar  at 
last  fell  asleep,  reflecting  upon  the  charms  of  the  one 
annoyance  in  the  Ford  ham  household. 


92  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE  first  week  of  Lamar's  visit  at  Fordham  passed 
by  swiftly  and  uneventfully.  It  was  astonishing  how 
immediately  he  fell  into  the  routine  of  life  at  the 
rectory,  and  equally  surprising  how  much  he  liked  it. 
No  greater  contrast  to  his  busy,  active  New  York  life 
could  have  been  presented  than  this  idly  pleasant 
existence. 

Natalie  was  performing  her  vow  very  faithfully, 
and,  if  the  truth  must  be  told,  rather  enjoying  her 
mission.  She  had  discovered  that  two  of  her  pas- 
sions were  shared  by  Lamar,  although  he  had  had  far 
less  time  than  she  to  indulge  either.  Her  music  and 
flowers  were  her  greatest  pleasures  in  life,  and 
Lamar's  fondness  for  the  former  found  very  pleasant 
gratification  as  he  lay  at  ease  on  one  of  the  broad 
lounges  in  the  sitting-room,  and  listened  to  her  low, 
sweet  contralto  ;  while  every  day  he  felt  more  recon- 
ciled to  the  fact  that  she  was  young  and  joyous  of 
spirit,  as  he  felt  her  gayety  react  upon  his  own  graver 
temperament. 

They  had  all  grown    fond  of   him  at  the  rectory. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  93 

Mr.  Wyndham  admired  his  wide  cultivation  and 
catholic  views  upon  all  the  subjects  that  came  under 
discussion.  The  rector  rarely  "talked  shop,"  and 
therefore  it  was  easy  for  Lamar  to  fall  in  with 
Robert's  desire  that  he  should  not  introduce  his  scep- 
tical views  at  Fordham  —  a  desire  that  found  a  ready 
echo  in  his  own  breast. 

It  was  exceedingly  agreeable  to  the  rector  to  have 
this  fresh,  new  element  brought  into  his  somewhat 
monotonous  life,  and  it  is  more  than  probable  that  if 
now,  when  he  had  grown  to  depend  upon  his  guest's 
society,  a  disclosure  of  the  latter's  agnostical  views 
had  been  made  to  him,  the  easy-going  old  man,  with 
his  rather  lax  tolerance  in  such  matters,  would  not 
merely  have  sighed  at  his  guest's  want  of  faith,  and 
have  contented  himself  with  gently  endeavoring  to 
lead  him  into  his  own  way  of  thinking. 

A  similar  revelation  ante-dating  Lamar's  arrival 
would  very  possibly  have  resulted  in  his  non-admis- 
sion within  the  rectory  precincts,  for,  liberal  as  the 
old  man  was,  it  is  doubtful  if  voluntarily  he  would 
have  sought  the  companionship  of  a  heretic  for  either 
his  daughters  or  himself. 

Rhea  had  become  profoundly  interested  in  her 
guest.  Lamar  possessed  a  charming  manner  toward 
women,  a  blending  of  grave  courtesy  and  deference 


94  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

which  won  them  to  him.  Age  or  appearance  made 
little  difference  in  his  treatment  of  the  sex,  although 
perhaps  there  was  a  slight  increase  of  warmth  and 
attention  in  his  demeanor  toward  those  whose  balance 
was  on  the  wrong  side.  He  had  been  particularly 
drawn  toward  Rebecca  Wyndham,  possibly  on  account 
of  a  slight  resemblance  in  tone  and  manner  between 
her  and  Robert. 

Their  common  ministration  among  the  sick  fur- 
nished them  with  a  congenial  footing  of  intercourse, 
and  Lamar  showed  a  cordial  sympathy  and  interest 
in  her  work  among  the  Fordham  poor  that  pleased 
her  greatly.  She  was  not  used  to  receiving  much 
notice  from  men,  and  it  had  come  within  her  expe- 
rience to  be  rather  slighted  by  the  other  sex.  A  love- 
affair  was  something  as  strange  to  her  personal 
cognition  as  a  cyclone ;  therefore  the  gentle  disturb- 
ance that  was  beginning  to  agitate  her  equable  nature 
conveyed  no  hint  to  her  of  the  possible  tempest 
it  might  arouse. 

It  was  a  new  thing  to  her  to  have  a  man  volun- 
tarily seek  her  society  as  Lamar  unquestionably  did, 
having  much  spare  time  on  his  hands,  and  enjoying 
the  atmosphere  of  repose  that  surrounded  her.  He 
did  not  quickly  become  accustomed  to  contact  with 
Natalie's  invigorating  personality,  and  found  it  some- 
times almost  too  bracing. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  95 

Yet  the  house  seemed  terribly  vacant  when  the 
girl  was  absent.  He  came  to  a  realization  of  this 
fact  one  morning  after  Natalie  had  been  spending  the 
night  away  from  home.  Some  revelry  had  been  in 
contemplation  the  previous  day  at  the  Dunstanes', 
and  Natalie  had  gone  over  to  it  with  the  intention  of 
staying  over  night.  Dinner  had  passed  off  well 
enough  in  her  absence,  owing  to  an  earnest  discussion 
of  the  Australian  Ballot  system,  which  was  a  matter 
of  considerable  interest  to  Lamar,  who  spent  some 
time  in  demonstrating  to  the  rector  its  advantages 
over  the  national  system.  A  cigar  after  the  meal 
served  to  beguile  half  an  hour :  but  then  came  a 
hiatus  in  the  evening  which  was  hard  to  bridge 
over.  It  was  the  hour  when  Xatalie  usually  sat 
at  the  little  piano,  (and  strummed  soft  accompani- 
ments to  unambitious  but  very  sweet  and  pleasing 
ballads. 

Lamar  went  up  to  bed  early,  feeling  a  little  ennuye 
and  aggrieved.  This  was  the  first  dull  evening  he 
had  spent  at  Fordham,  and  yet  it  was  the  only  one 
that  had  been  undisturbed  by  the  unwelcome  element 
that  he  had  at  first  deprecated. 

The  next  morning  he  was  decidedly  out  of  sorts. 
In  the  first  place,  he  had  grown  accustomed  to  a 
matutinal  greeting  called  up  to  him  in  a  fresh,  bright 


96  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

young  voice  from  the  garden  below,  and  this  he 
missed  ;  then  there  was  no  fragrant  boutonniere  lying 
beside  his  plate,  though  Rhea,  noticing  this  omission, 
did  her  best  to  supply  it  by  bringing  him  a  tuberose 
whose  heavy  perfume  he  loathed,  and  offering  it 
somewhat  awkwardly,  while  a  red  tinge  suffused  her 
skin,  rendering  it  a  trifle  more  unlovely  than  usual. 
To  cap  the  climax,  Robert  went  up  to  London  for  the 
day,  after  suggesting  that  perhaps  Lamar  might  like 
to  drive  over  to  Melbury  for  Natalie  in  the  course  of 
the  afternoon. 

Lamar  had  thought  that  he  should  not  care  to  avail 
himself  of  this  privilege,  but  the  morning  dragged  so 
heavily  that  in  self-defence  he  was  glad  to  set  off 
after  lunch,  and  create  a  diversion  by  an  expedition 
after  the  recreant. 

"  You  think  you  will  not  need  Barker  ?  "  Miss 
Wyndham  asked.  "  Can  you  remember  the  road  ?  " 

"  Well  enough,  I  think,  thank  you,"  he  replied, 
"  having  been  there  so  recently."  Robert  had  driven 
him  over  to  call  a  couple  of  days  before.  "  At  all 
events,  there  are  guide-posts,  and  I  am  not  above 
asking  my  way." 

The  village  was  a  long,  straggling  affair,  possessing 
no  special  charm  or  attractiveness  to  strange  eyes, 
and  Lamar  was  not  regretful  when  he  turned  off  into 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  97 

the  less-frequented  country  road.  Jenny  was  no 
great  roadster,  and  Lamar  allowed  her  to  take  her 
own  pace,  which  proved  to  be  a  moderate  jog-trot. 

As  he  struck  into  the  Melbury  cross-road  he 
descried  two  figures  advancing  toward  him,  one  of 
which  possessed  a  familiarity  of  aspect  that  caused  a 
sudden  light  to  flash  into  his  gray  eyes  as  he  involun- 
tarily clucked  to  Jenny  a  warning  to  mend  her  pace 
a  little. 

Natalie,  for  his  suspicion  became  confirmed  with 
decreased  distance,  was  occupied  in  an  apparently 
momentous  and  absorbing  discussion  with  an  exceed- 
ingly good-looking  young  man  in  clerical  garb,  whom 
Lamar  at  once  concluded  to  be  none  other  than 
Derrick  Grafton.  She  looked  wonderfully  pretty  in 
a  clear  blue  cotton  gown  set  off  with  many  rows  of 
white  braid,  a  white  straw  sailor  hat  with  some  soft, 
cloudy  tissue  swathed  about  it,  and  a  great  bunch  of 
bachelor's  buttons  in  her  belt.  Her  face  was  ani- 
mated almost  to  excitement,  and  in  the  interest  of 
her  subject  she  quite  failed  to  notice  the  approach 
of  the  familiar  dog-cart. 

Lamar  had  nearly  passed  her,  indeed,  before  she 
turned  her  eyes  from  her  companion's  face,  and 
greeted  his  appearance  with  a  little  exclamation 
of  surprise.  And  it  was  with  a  decided  feel- 


98  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

ing  of  pique  that  he  drew  up  in  answer  to  her 
greeting. 

"  You  were  going  over  for  me  ! "  she  exclaimed. 
"  Too  bad ;  but  I  felt  just  in  the  humor  for  a  long 
walk,  and  Mr.  Graf  ton  —  Derrick,  this  is  Robert's 
friend,  Dr.  Lamar  —  aided  and  abetted  my  desire  to 
the  extent  of  offering  himself  as  my  escort.  As  long 
as  I  have  met  you,  I  think  I'll  ride  the  rest  of  the 
way.  You'll  excuse  me,  Derrick  ?  " 

She  did  not  wait  for  the  young  man  to  reply,  but 
placed  one  foot  on  the  step  of  the  cart,  and  sprang 
up  without  assistance,  bestowing  a  rather  cavalier 
nod  of  dismissal  upon  Grafton  when  she  was  fairly 
seated. 

Lamar  was  surprised  to  discover  that  the  careless 
nod  was  a  decided  balm  to  his  feelings,  and  felt  a 
very  uncharitable  sense  of  triumph  as  he  signalled 
Jenny  to  go  on,  leaving  the  abandoned  young  curate 
to  digest  his  disappointment  and  discomfiture  as  best 
he  could.  Lamar  turned  to  the  girl  with  a  smile  in 
his  eyes,  as  they  drove  off,  and  remarked,  — 

"  It  strikes  me,  Miss  Natalie,  —  not  that  I  have 
anything  to  complain  of,  his  loss  being  very  decidedly 
my  gain,  —  but  it  does  really  appear  to  me  that  you 
abandoned  that  young  man  rather  unceremoniously, 
just  now." 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  99 

A  little  flush  of  pleasure  at  the  parenthetic  com- 
pliment tinted  the  girl's  cheeks  as  she  replied,  — 

"  Yes  ;  I  grant  that  I  did.  But  to  tell  you  the 
truth,  Dr.  Lamar,  we  were  on  the  verge  of  another 
ferocious  quarrel,  and,  as  we  had  just  shaken  hands 
over  one  bloody  chasm,  I  preferred  to  run  away  that 
I  might  '  live  to  fight  another  day.' " 

"  What  an  exceedingly  eruptive  young  man  the 
Rev.  Derrick  must  be ! "  Lamar  remarked  visibly 
amused.  "If  it  is  not  an  impertinent  question,  may 
I  ask  if  he  was  again  seeking  to  impress  you  with 
the  desirability  of  becoming  the  fortunate  sharer  of 
his  destiny  ?" 

The  flush  deepened. 

"  No,  no,"  she  returned  quickly.  "  What  false 
impressions  Robert  has  given  you,  Dr.  Lamar!  It 
was  nothing  of  the  sort.  We  were  merely  occupied 
with  a  revival  of  our  former  difference.  Derrick  was 
trying  to  explain  his  conduct,  and  prove  to  me  that 
he  was  right  in  refusing  to  permit  me  to  become  con- 
taminated, as  he  expressed  it,  by  listening  to  the 
views  of  an  agnostic.  By  the  way,  Dr.  Lamar,  what 
is  an  agnostic  ?  My  idea  of  the  term  is  an  exceed- 
ingly vague  one." 

"  Your  idea  can  be  no  vaguer  than  the  term  itself, 
Miss  Natalie,"  Lamar  replied,  shrinking  somewhat 


100  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

from  the  subject,  as  if  fearful  of  disturbing,  by  even 
a  breath,  the  peaceful  tranquillity  of  her  mind. 

"  But  you  must  be  able  to  give  me  a  better  notion 
of  it  than  I  have,  and  without  the  prejudice  that 
Derrick  brings  to  bear  upon  the  subject.  To  hear 
him  talk  one  would  think  that  an  agnostic  was  a 
human  pestilence  stalking  through  the  land,  seeking 
whom  it  might  devour.  He  shudders  when  he  speaks 
of  one,  and  I  verily  believe  he  hates  them  as  old 
Patty  in  the  village  hates  men.  She  burns  a  rag  in 
the  house  after  any  male  has  entered  it,  and  I  would 
not  wonder  if  Derrick  had  taken  similar  measures  to 
purify  the  village  hall." 

She  burst  into  a  merry  laugh,  and  Lamar  sought 
to  change  the  unwelcome  subject. 

"•What  an  age  you  have  been  away,  Miss  Natalie! 
Did  yon  have  what  in  America  we  call  a  '  good 
time '  ?  " 

"  AVhy,  yes,  of  course;  I  always  do.  But  lam 
afraid  you  are  trying  to  flatter  me  in  calling  my 
absence  a  long  one.  You  know  I  only  went  yester- 
day." 

"No,  really!  Only  one  night!  it  has  seemed  a 
week  to  me !  No  music,  no  laughter,  no  flowers ! 
You  must  not  do  it  again  during  my  visit,  else  I 
shall  be  really  homesick.  I  am  your  guest,  remem- 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  101 

ber,  and  have  a  prior  claim  upon  you.  These  Dun- 
stanes  can  have  you  any  time." 

Natalie  smiled  with  pleasure  ;  it  was  always  a 
delight  to  her  to  be  missed.  But  the  personal 
nature  of  the  present  topic  was  a  little  embarrass- 
ing, so  she  returned  to  the  former  one. 

"  You  are  very  kind  to  make  me  feel  so  comfort- 
able," she  said.  "I  am  sorry  that  you  have  been 
dull,  and  yet  it  is  always  gratifying  to  be  missed. 
But,  Dr.  Lamar,  I  am  really  desirous  of  having  you 
define  an  agnostic ;  will  you  not  humor  me  ?  " 

"Why,  Miss  Natalie,"  he  replied  evasively,  a 
sudden  recollection  of  a  haunting  phrase  occurring 
to  him,  "  you  have  yourself  defined  an  agnostic  as  a 
1  wretched  infidel '  —  is  not  the  definition  sufficiently 
comprehensive  ?  " 

There  was  a  tinge  of  bitterness  in  his  tone,  for 
although  the  term  infidel  exactly  expressed  his  own 
mental  status,  the  obnoxious  phrase  had  rankled  in 
his  mind  ever  since  the  girl  had  uttered  it. 

Natalie  knit  her  white  brow  in  perplexity. 

"Well,  you  see,  Dr.  Lamar,"  she  confessed,  "I 
rather  spoke  for  effect  the  other  night.  'Wretched 
infidel'  seemed  rather  a  fine  phrase,  and  so  I  used  it. 
But  really  and  truly  I  don't  know  just  what  an 
agnostic  believes  or  disbelieves." 


102  DOCTOR  LAMAS. 

Lamar  waited  a  few  moments  before  replying, 
during  which  lie  flecked  a  fly  off  Jenny,  whose  jog- 
trot had  degenerated  into  a  mere  walk,  and  pondered 
his  answer.  Further  avoidance  of  the  subject  might 
arouse  Natalie's  suspicious  of  himself,  —  a  result 
which  he  was  loath  to  effect,  for  already  the  girl's 
good  opinion  was  of  value  to  him.  He  was  too 
honest  to  deny  his  convictions  if  taxed  with  them, 
but  he  was  also  too  fearful  of  doing  himself  injury 
in  Natalie's  sight  to  voluntarily  confess  his  scepti- 
cism. 

Therefore  he  concluded  to  take  the  bull  by  the 
horns  and  present,  incognito,  his  own  views  esti- 
mated as  justly  as  possible. 

They  had  turned  into  a  narrow  by-road  whose 
hedgerows  were  sweet  with  pink  and  white  bloom. 
The  sun  had  withdrawn  under  a  fleecy  cloud,  and  a 
shadow  of  earnestness  lay  athwart  the  faces  of  both 
the  occupants  of  the  dog-cart.  Lamar  was  a  little 
lost  in  contemplation  of  his  subject,  and  was  looking 
straight  ahead  over  Jenny's  ears,  with  an  absent 
expression  in  his  gray  eyes ;  while  the  spirit  of 
humor  had  quite  died  out  of  Natalie's  face  and  a 
premonition  of  the  forthcoming  revelation  seemed  to 
dwell  in  the  glance  with  which  she  was  regarding  her 
companion. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  103 

"  Miss  Natalie,"  Lamar  began  at  last,  "  I  am  going 
to  describe  to  you  an  agnostic  of  my  acquaintance, 
a  man  whom  I  know  to  be  as  sincere  and  honest  in 
his  convictions  —  nay,  the  word  is  a  misnomer  —  his 
opinions,  I  will  say,  as  either  your  father  or  the 
Rev.  Derrick  Grafton  himself.  This  man  confesses 
himself  an  agnostic  merely  because  he  is  honest. 
Having  no  proof  of  a  hereafter,  or  even  of  a 
God,  he  cannot  accept  as  truth  the  sentimental 
theories  and  superstitious  prejudices  of  other  men 
no  more  enlightened,  no  wiser,  and  perhaps  not  one- 
tenth  as  well  instructed  as  himself.  He  is  a  man 
who  brought  a  fresh,  impartial  mind  to  deal  with 
the  subject,  who  contented  himself  with  nothing 
short  of  absolute  knowledge ;  who  believes  faith 
to  be  an  atmosphere  of  weak  and  cowardly  minds, 
either  too  incompetent  or  too  fearful  to  grapple  with 
the  old  ghostly  traditions  and  force  them  into  the 
pure,  strong  light  of  reason,  in  order  that  the  intel- 
lect may  prove  them  to  be  what  they  are:  —  mere 
unsubstantial  figments  of  rude,  uncultured  brains. 
Think  of  the  situation.  The  credulous  minds  of  a 
handful  of  rough  fishermen  prescribe  a  system  of 
belief  whose  foundatio'n  stones  are  a  tissue  of  mir- 
acles, which,  if  related  as  legends,  would  be  regarded 
as  the  wildest  sort  of  fairy  tales  by  the  youngest 


104  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

children  of  the  nineteenth  century.  Think  of  the 
substantiation  of  these  miracles  resting  upon  no 
better  theory  than  that  of  the  inspiration  of  the 
writings  which  detailed  them.  Respect  if  you  can 
a  God,  the  God  of  the  Old  Testament,  who  is  held  to 
be  that  of  the  New  under  a  changed  dispensation 
and  novel  and  original  method  of  procedure ;  a  God 
whose  influence  over  the  minds  of  his  creatures  was 
so  insufficient  that,  in  order  to  force  them  to  respect 
His  laws,  He  Himself  set  them  the  example  of 
transgressing  them  by  resorting  to  a  miraculous 
system  of  terrorization.  Imagine  a  mighty  Divinity, 
intellectual  enough  to  have  conceived  existence,  and 
powerful  enough  to  have  executed  this  wondrous 
scheme  of  creation,  stooping  to  bend  the  absurd 
will  of  His  puppets  by  a  series  of  necromantic 
effects,  as  belittling  to  His  dignity  as  they  were 
inefficient  to  His  purpose.  Is  it  not  ridiculous,  un- 
reasonable, irrational  ?  What  better  proof  of  the 
existence  of  a  God  is  the  attestation  of  a  lot  of 
ignorant  old  sinners,  than  is  the  testimony  of  the 
ancient  and  cultured  Greeks  to  the  power  and  attri- 
butes of  the  mythological  deities  ?  Why  should  not 
we  accept  the  fables  of  mythology  as  truth  ?  Simply 
because  knowledge  has  awakened  us  to  a  recognition 
of  their  absurdity.  Is  not  the  increasing  agnosticism 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  105 

of  this  age  a  portent  in  the  sky  to  warn  us  that  we 
have  too  long  allowed  the  web  of  superstition  to 
wrap  our  reason  in  its  meshes,  and  that  a  universal 
awakening  is  at  hand  ?  " 

Lamar  had  quite  forgotten  himself  and  his  listener 
in  interest  in  his  subject.  He  had  warmed  to  his 
theme,  and  had  become  entirely  oblivious  of  his  pur- 
pose of  shielding  himself  behind  a  false  personality. 
Now,  as  he  came  to  a  pause,  recollecting  Natalie  and 
provoked  at  his  own  indiscretion,  he  turned  and 
looked  at  her.  He  was  startled  by  the  effect  his 
words  had  produced. 

She  had  shrunk  a  little  from  him,  and  her  face  had 
blanched  to  a  deadly  pallor,  while  a  look  of  horror 
filled  her  dark  eyes,  depriving  them  very  thoroughly 
of  their  natural  expression. 

"  And  this  "  —  she  almost  gasped,  "  this  horrible 
blasphemy  is  agnosticism  ?  " 

"  It  is,"  he  assented,  feeling  that  he  had  received  a 
condemnation,  and  cursing  himself  for  a  senseless 
idiot  in  having  forgotten  the  nature  of  his  audience. 

"  Then  no  wonder  Derrick  tried  to  shield  me  from 
it !  And  this  man,  this  unhappy,  wretched  creature 
who  holds  these  views,  is  a  friend  of  yours  ?  " 

Lamar  bowed. 

"My  closest  friend,"  he  assented  gravely,  for  now 


106  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

a  spirit  of  recklessness  had  taken  possession  of  him, 
her  evident  horror  and  disgust  having  aroused  his 
combativeness.  Then  there  came  a  pause  which  the 
girl  finally  broke,  as  a  thought  occurred  to  her. 

"Dr.  Lamar,"  she  said  with  deep  feeling,  "you 
know  this  man  intimately ;  tell  me,  has  any  great 
sorrow  ever  come  to  him  ?  Has  he  ever  lost  one  he 
loved  ?  " 

Lamar  considered  a  moment,  for  he  saw  that  as 
yet  she  failed  to  associate  him  with  the  object  of 
her  horror.  Should  he  allow  her  to  continue  in 
ignorance  by  creating  false  circumstances  and  con- 
ditions of  life  for  his  supposed  friend,  or,  lest  future 
revelation  should  discover  the  deception  practised 
upon  her,  should  he  permit  his  own  identity  to 
escape  now  ?  There  was  a  profound  love  of  frank- 
ness and  detestation  of  double-dealing  in  his  nature, 
and  he  felt  that  now  that  he  had  involved  himself  in 
a  half  confession  he  must  bear  the  consequences  of 
his  folly  and  allow  the  fact  of  his  agnosticism  to 
transpire. 

"Yes,"  he  replied  after  a  moment;  "he  has  lost  his 
wife." 

"  And  her  death  was  a  very  great  grief  to  him  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  And  he  never  expects  to  meet  her  again  ?  " 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  107 

«  Naturally  not." 

"  Oh,  how  terrible  !  how  terrible  !  "  she  cried, 
turning  to  him,  her  sweet  face  working  with  agita- 
tion, and  her  eyes  filled  with  hot  tears  of  sympathy. 
Something  in  his  look  smote  her  with  sudden  con- 
viction. Leaning  forward,  as  if  she  would  force  the 
truth  from  his  eyes,  she  raised  her  hand  and  impul- 
sively grasped  his  arm. 

"  Dr.  Lamar,"  she  burst  forth,  "  you  are  the  man ! 
Great  Heaven  !  how  I  pity  you  ! " 

After  that  a  silence  fell  between  them ;  a  silence 
which  was  only  broken  now  and  then  by  a  soft  little 
shuddering  breath  from  Natalie.  All  the  light  and 
beauty  of  the  sweet  June  day  seemed  to  Lamar  to 
have  disappeared,  and  he  felt  that  he  would  willingly 
sacrifice  a  part  of  his  life  to  be  able  to  recall  his  ad- 
mission as  he  saw  the  girl  involuntarily  shrink  from 
him  as  from  one  tainted  with  some  loathsome  disease. 

There  was  scarcely  a  word  exchanged  between 
them  during  the  rest  of  the  drive.  Lamar  made  two 
or  three  desultory  attempts  to  start  a  fresh  subject  of 
conversation,  but  they  proved  wholly  abortive,  and 
he  finally  abandoned  the  effort,  and  was  obliged  to 
content  himself  with  his  own  thoughts  —  which, 
being  of  a  self-denunciatory  character,  were  scarcely 
agreeable  entertainment. 


108  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

It  was  almost  impossible  for  him  to  realize  what  a 
blow  his  revelation  had  been  to  Natalie  Wyndham. 
Born  arid  reared  in  an  atmosphere  of  the  purest 
religious  conservatism,  carefully  shielded  and  pro- 
tected from  the  tempestuous  winds  of  doubt  and 
scepticism,  atheism  was  to  her  a  word  synonymous 
only  with  heathenism ;  and  the  idea  that  a  man,  who 
had  received  the  benefits  of  civilization,  could  ques- 
tion the  existence  of  a  Supreme  Kuler,  of  that  God 
for  whom  her  own  love  and  reverence  were  as  invol- 
untary and  natural  as  the  breath  she  drew ;  to  have 
a  sudden  realization  thrust  upon  her  that  she  had 
been  familiarly  consorting  with  such,  recognizing 
him  as  a  friend,  and  admiring  him  as  a  sort  of 
superior  being,  was  a  shock  of  such  an  intense  nature 
that  it  quite  absorbed  all  her  faculties,  to  the  utter 
exclusion  of  the  recollection  that  her  silence  created 
an  extremely  awkward  position  for  her  companion. 

As  they  turned  into  the  rectory  grounds  Lamar 
became  desperate.  He  turned  to  the  girl  with  an 
expression  of  real  anxiety  on  his  face.  "  Miss 
Natalie,"  he  said,  "I  feel  that  my  admission  lias 
compromised  me  seriously  in  your  sight.  I  have 
heretofore  rather  gloried  in  my  freedom  of  thought ; 
this  afternoon  I  have  for  the  first  time  experienced  a 
regret  that  my  views  were  so  advanced.  Your  evi- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  109 

dent  shrinking  from  me  has  caused  me  sincere  grief 
and  pain.  I  trust  that  our  pleasant  intercourse  is 
not  to  suffer  from  my  foolish  confession." 

The  girl  looked  off  over  the  fair  landscape  with  its 
smiling  aspect  of  peace  and  tranquillity,  and  the 
beauty  of  the  scene,  the  singing  of  the  birds,  the 
far-stretching  canopy  of  the  heavens,  the  sight  of 
her  own  home,  —  a  loving  reminder  of  the  favors  she 
had  received  from  a  generous  Providence ;  all  these 
proofs  of  an  all-wise  and  ever-bounteous  Creator 
appealed  with  a  sudden  and  novel  force  to  her 
soul. 

On  the  one  side  was  the  God,  who  had  with  His 
infinite,  all-comprehending  love  created  with  lavish 
hand  a  glorious  heritage  of  which  she  had  received 
so  large  a  share  ;  on  the  other  stood  one  of  His 
creatures  questioning  His  existence  and  denying  the 
precious  testimony  of  His  own  word.  Horror  of 
Lamar's  confession  still  held  possession  of  her  mind, 
and  she  felt  her  love  and  reverence  for  her  Heavenly 
Father  wounded  and  outraged  by  his  speech.  Yet 
the  divine  pity  that  lurks  in  every  true  woman's 
heart,  and  which  had  already  caused  her  to  regard 
Lamar  a  little  tenderly,  withheld  her  now  from  pro- 
nouncing utter  condemnation  upon  him.  It  was  two 
or  three  minutes  before  she  could  decide  upon  a 


110  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

reply,  and  even  then  it  was  of  a  doubtful  and  unsatis- 
factory nature. 

"  I  do  not  know,-''  she  faltered  at  last ;  "  I  cannot 
say  — no,  I  do  not  know." 

"But  promise  me,"  Lauiar  urged,  unable  to  force 
her  eyes  to  meet  his,  "promise  me  that  you  will  not 
entirely  cast  me  out  of  your  favor.  Remember  that 
Robert,  your  brother  and  a  minister  of  your  God, 
remember  that  he  tolerates  me.  He  has  interested 
himself  in  my  salvation.  I  am  even  now  faithfully 
studying  books  of  his  choosing.  If  he  can  regard 
me  without  abhorrence  and  see  a  chance  for  conver- 
sion in  my  case,  cannot  you  also  afford  to  treat  me  a 
little  leniently  out  of  consideration  for  the  grand 
result  you  may  accomplish  ?  In  this  case,  Miss 
Natalie,  Ephraim  is  not  joined  to  idols,  and  I  assure 
you  I  am  only  too  willing  to  be  convinced  of  the 
truth  of  your  belief." 

He  knew  that  he  was  talking  the  veriest  nonsense, 
and  even  while  he  spoke  despised  himself  for  stoop- 
ing to  reinstate  himself  by  idle,  meaningless  phrases 
in  the  girl's  favor.  Yet,  the  distress  which  her 
sudden  recoil  had  caused  him  urged  him  to  use  any 
means  to  regain  his  former  standing  in  her  esteem. 

She  failed  to  notice  his  request  by  words,  feeling 
that  she  would  not  commit  herself  until  she  had  had 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  Ill 

time  to  properly  consider  the  matter ;  but  as  Lamar 
helped  her  down  from  the  cart,  he  held  her  hand  a 
brief  moment  to  detain  her,  as  he  said,  persuasively, — 
"  Miss  Natalie,  you  have  not  yet  promised." 
She   shook   her   head   sadly.     "No,"  she   replied; 
"no,  I  cannot  promise  —  yet." 


112  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 


CHAPTER   VII. 

MEANWHILE  Robert  had  been  having  rather  an 
eventful  day  in  London.  Having  despatched  the 
business  that  had  taken  him  thither  (which  was  inci- 
dental to  his  profession  and  of  no  particular  impor- 
tance to  our  narrative),  he  found  himself  with  a 
couple  of  spare  hours  to  dispose  of  before  his  return 
train  started. 

•  A  desire  which  was  always  sufficiently  strong 
within  him,  suddenly  increased  its  potency  until  it 
quite  vanquished  his  scruples,  and  a  moment  later  he 
had  called  a  hansom  and  was  on  his  way  to  gratify 
his  longing  to  see  Eleanor  Dunstane. 

It  was  about  the  afternoon  tea  hour,  but  the  expec- 
tation of  meeting  a  lot  of  fashionable  visitors  at 
Mrs.  Mansfield's  popular  house  did  not  weigh  very 
heavily  against  his  yearning  for  a  glimpse  of  a  fair, 
well-beloved  face. 

He  could  not  remember  the  time  when  he  had  not 
cared  for  her;  and  she  had  seemed  to  return  his 
attachment  until  the  fact  of  her  beauty  and  its 
marketable  value  had  dawned  upon  her  aunt,  indu- 


DOCTOR   LAMAIt.  113 

cing  her  to  secure  the  girl's  presence  in  her  own 
drawing-rooms,  as  much  to  advantage  herself  in 
supplying  her  house  with  an  added  attraction,  as  to 
give  Eleanor  an  opportunity  of  making  that  coveted 
alliance  —  a  brilliant  match. 

Brought  up  in  the  quiet  and  seclusion  of  Melbury, 
where  her  father  —  a  gentleman  with  a  moderate 
fortune  and  its  usual  concomitant,  a  large  family  — 
possessed  a  small  landed  property,  Eleanor  Dunstane 
had,  somewhat  naturally,  been  dazzled  and  fascinated 
by  her  first  glimpse  of  society.  Her  social  success 
had  been  at  once  assured  by  the  attentions  of  a 
young  fellow  who  had  unexpectedly  come  into  pos- 
session of  a  good  title  and  sufficient  wealth  to 
maintain  it. 

He  was  an  undeniably  good  parti,  besides  being  a 
very  sensible,  unpretentious  lad,  and  the  eager  and 
open  attempts  made  upon  him  by  solicitous  mammas 
disgusted  him  to  such  an  extent  that  he  fell  at  once 
into  the  trap  of  Mrs.  Mansfield's  undemonstrative  and 
apparently  careless  hospitality.  Eleanor's  beauty 
and  unconventionality  did  the  rest. 

Mrs.  Mansfield  had  never  forgiven  her  niece  for 
refusing  him.  Lord  Ruxton,  Lord  Ruxton,  Lord 
Ruxton  !  The  name  had  been  dinned  into  Eleanor's 
ears  ad  nauseam,  and  so  wearisome  the  subject 


114  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

finally  became  to  her  that,  notwithstanding  her 
pleasure  m  the  festivities  with  which  a  London 
season  teems,  she  was  honestly  glad  when  they  drew 
to  a  close  and  she  could  return  to  Melbury  to  escape 
further  repetition  of  the  threadbare^topic. 

She  had  returned  home  after  her  first  season  thor- 
oughly unspoiled,  and  had  taken  up  her  country  life 
again  as  happily  and  contentedly  as  if  she  had  never 
left  it. 

Robert,  who  was  then  trying  to  curb  his  predilec- 
tions for  the  ministry,  and  to  content  himself  with  his 
position  in  the  Foreign  Office,  had,  during  the  season, 
been  a  frequent  visitor  at  Mrs.  Mansfield's.  There 
had  been  no  breach  in  the  warm,  cordial  relations 
between  him  and  Eleanor  until  about  the  middle  of 
her  second  season,  when  he  made  known  to  her  his 
decision  to  follow  his  inclinations  and  study  for 
orders. 

Everything  she  could  say  to  dissuade  him  she  said, 
and  employed  every  argument  to  win  him  from  his 
intention.  When  she  found  her  power  over  him  too 
weak  to  overcome  his  fixed  resolve,  she  took  umbrage 
and  turned  the  cold  shoulder  on  him.  This  attitude 
never  changed  while  he  was  preparing  himself  for 
the  Church,  but  the  girl's  whole  nature  appeared  to 
undergo  a  very  radical  alteration.  She  threw  herself 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  115 

into  the  dissipation  of  a  society  life  with  unremit- 
ting ardor,  and,  while  she  permitted  and  even  encour- 
aged the  most  extreme  devotion  from  men,  showed 
not  the  slightest  hesitation  in  refusing  them  when,  as 
was  very  frequently  the  case,  occasion  offered. 

The  previous  season  a  new  aspirant  for  her  favor 
had  entered  the  field :  Henry  Reginald  Arthur,  Vis- 
count Parker,  and  heir  to  one  of  the  oldest  earldoms 
in  England.  Need  it  be  said  that  Mrs.  Mansfield 
accumulated  all  her  reserve  force  in  a  final  appeal  to 
Eleanor  to  make  of  his  lordship  a  notable  exception 
in  her  list  of  unfortunate  suitors  ? 

Lord  Parker  was  a  man  of  the  ultra-fashionable 
set,  wliose  mind  was  a  tabula  rasa,  and  whose  ideas 
never  soared  above  the  level  of  life  a  la  mode.  His 
very  excuse  for  being  lay  in  the  fact  that  it  was  "the 
thing,  you  know;  "and  possibly  Eleanor  Dunstane's 
chief  point  of  attraction  to  him  was  the  considera- 
tion that  she  happened  to  be  the  fashion. 

As  for  the  girl  herself,  she  treated  his  lordship 
with  an  indifference  bordering  on  contempt,  which 
was  a  novel  and  not  altogether  disagreeable  experi- 
ence to  him.  Her  strong  spirit  dominated  and  fas- 
cinated him.  It  added  a  new  and  piquant  flavor  to 
his  tame  and  monotonously  conventional  existence. 
Her  beauty  had  frequently  allured  him  to  the  very 


116  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

brink  of  an  avowal,  but  she  had  been  successful  in 
escaping  an  actual  offer  from  him  up  to  the  beginning 
of  the  present  season. 

Early  in  June,  however,  and  before  Eleanor  had 
decided  to  go  up  to  London,  Lord  Parker  had  made  a 
formal  proposal  to  Mr.  Dunstane  for  his  daughter's 
hand,  and  Rebecca  Wyndham  had  been  perfectly  cor- 
rect in  her  surmise  that  undue  pressure  had  been 
brought  to  bear  upon  the  girl  to  persuade  her  to 
accept  so  brilliant  an  offer. 

In  the  first  place,  the  Dunstane  property  was  quite 
inadequate  to  the  demands  upon  it;  every  year  the 
family  expenses  increased,  and  the  word  mortgage 
haunted  Mr.  Dunstane's  sleeping  and  waking  moments 
like  an  evil  phantom.  The  boys  were  reaching  an 
age  when  an  underpaid  tutor  no  longer  sufficed  for 
their  educational  requirements,  and  college  expenses 
were  an  extra  burden  to  be  assumed. 

Eleanor  was  regarded  as  the  only  available  means 
of  salvation,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Dunstane  took  it  very 
hard  that  she  was  not  willing  to  be  made  the  family 
scape-goat.  Added  to  their  evident  disappointment 
in  her  came  the  angry  protest  of  her  aunt,  conjoined 
to  the  threat  that  should  Eleanor  actually  refuse  his 
lordship,  and  thus  allow  another  brilliant  opportunity 
to  escape  her,  she  might  at  the  same  time  understand 


DOCTOR  LAMAS.  117 

that  the  doors  of  Mrs.  Mansfield's  house  would  be 
hereafter  closed  upon  her,  and  that  no  more  favors 
from  that  direction  would  be  forthcoming. 

A  more  conciliatory  postscript  was  appended  to 
the  letter,  begging  Eleanor  to  seriously  consider  the 
answer  she  was  about  to  give  Lord  Parker,  and 
suggesting  that  before  absolutely  committing*  herself, 
she  should  temporize  a  bit,  request  a  few  weeks  for 
consideration,  and  that  those  weeks  —  in  case  the 
demand  were  granted  —  should  be  spent  by  Eleanor 
at  Mrs.  Mansfield's  town  house,  in  order  that  she 
might  enjoy  the  remaining  gayeties  of  the  season. 

We  have  seen  the  result.  Eleanor  Dunstane  had 
followed  her  aunt's  advice,  scarcely  knowing  what  she 
meant  to  say  to  his  lordship  when  her  reprieve  should 
expire,  and  trusting  in  luck  to  interpose  some  ob- 
stacle to  her  union  with  "the  popinjay,"  as  Robert 
Wyndham  had  called  him. 

The  ladies  were  at  home,  the  butler  informed 
Wyndham,  and  were  receiving.  Accordingly,  he  was 
ushered  into  the  long,  handsomely  decorated  apart- 
ment, whence  a  low-toned  murmur  of  well-bred 
voices  issued  to  the  hall  without. 

The  announcement  of  his  name  produced  slight 
impression  on  the  several  guests.  Only  one  girl,  —  a 
sunny-haired,  radiant  creature,  who  was  pouring  tea 


118  DOCTOR  LAMAK. 

at  a  dainty  table,  —  clad  in  a  loose,  flowing  tea-gown 
of  faintest  blue  half  concealed  by  cascades  of  airy 
lace,  started  and  lost  a  few  of  the  roses  from  her 
cheeks,  while  the  thread  of  her  discourse  snapped 
abruptly  off,  and  the  cup  she  was  filling  rattled 
noisily  in  its  fragile  saucer. 

But  Robert's  tall,  broad-shouldered  figure  was  no 
unfamiliar  object  to  many  of  Mrs.  Mansfield's  guests, 
though  its  sombre,  clerical  garb  was  a  sufficient 
change  from  the  fashionable  layman's  dress  in  which 
they  had  been  wont  to  see  him,  to  arouse  some 
commentary  as,  after  pausing  to  salute  his  hostess, 
he  made  his  way,  with  a  careless  nod  here  and 
there,  through  the  room  till  he  reached  Eleanor's 
tea-table. 

A  slender,  dapper  little  man  in  the  extreme  of 
fashionable  afternoon  dress  was  her  sole  companion 
as  Robert  came  up.  He  glanced  at  the  approaching 
figure  through  his  glass,  and  then  gave  a  little 
affected  shudder. 

"  A  clergyman  !  "  he  murmured,  contracting  his 
small  features  into  a  grimace  which  he  would  have 
denominated  a  moue.  "A  blackbird  among  larks! 
Ugh  !  it  gives  me  the  blues  to  look  at  him.  What ! 
Mon  Dieu !  Yes,  it  is ;  Miss  Dunstane,  it  is  Bob 
Wyndham." 


DOCTOR   LAMAE.  119 

Eleanor's  delicate  features  had  clouded  at  the  little 
man's  tone  and  manner. 

"  Has  it  taken  you  so  long  to  discover  that,  Lord 
Parker?"  she  replied  contemptuously.  "Your  sight 
is  surely  very  bad,  else  you  would  have  made  a 
different  comparison,  I  am  sure.  Either  that  of  a 
giant  among  pygmies,  or  of  an  eagle  among  butter- 
flies." She  looked  at  the  modish  little  figure 
scornfully. 

His  lordship  laughed  good-hum oredly. 

"  Well,  perhaps,"  he  said,  with  a  Gallic  shrug. 
"However,  in  any  case,  uncongenial  company  for  me; 
so,  with  your  leave,  I'll  say  au  revolt:  Do,  Wyndham  ! 
Glad  to  see  you  back.  This  evening  at  eight  then, 
Miss  Dunstane  ?  A  rivederci!" 

He  withdrew  and  left  the  two  alone.  Eleanor's 
face  had  regained  its  color,  and  the  hand  she  extended 
to  Robert  was  as  calm  and  steady  as  if  it  had  never 
threatened  destruction  to  Mrs.  Mansfield's  costly 
porcelain,  though  had  Robert's  fingers  chanced  to  fall 
upon  the  delicate  wrist  its  pulse  might  have  betrayed 
the  agitation  of  the  girl's  heart. 

"  So  you  have  come  back,  Bob  ? "  she  said,  in  a 
tone  which  to  unaccustomed  ears  would  have  sounded 
frank  and  natural,  although  Robert,  who  was  a 
connoisseur  in  the  shades  and  inflections  of  her  voice, 


120  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

detected  that  latent  reserve  which  had  characterized 
it  since  he  had  showed  himself  disobedient  to  her 
wishes.  "  I  heard  of  your  return  through  Georgie, 
and  that  you  had  brought  Dr.  Lamar  with  you.  How 
pleasant  for  you  to  be  together  again ! " 

"  Yes,  delightful,"  he  returned  absently ;  and  then 
said  no  more,  but  stood  gazing  stupidly  into  her 
beautiful  face,  all  absorbed  in  its  fairness,  and  think- 
ing that  he  never  before  had  quite  appreciated  how 
lovely  it  was. 

"He  will  be  with  you  some  time?"  she  went  on, 
making  conversation  with  that  facility  which  women 
of  the  world  acquire.  "  Did  he  come  up  with  you 
to-day  ?  " 

"  No  ;  yes,  he  will  stay  as  long  as  he  is  contented. 
He  is  worn  out  with  his  professional  work,  and  needs 
a  rest.  We  talk  of  taking  a  little  run  over  to 
Heidelberg  together  for  the  sake  of  'Auld  lang  syne.'  " 

"  Charming  !  And  America  ?  Were  you  pleased 
with  what  you  saw  of  it  ?  Did  you  fall  a  prey  to  any 
of  its  fair  daughters  ?  "  She  smiled  and  asked  the 
question  as  if  his  reply,  even  should  it  be  affirmative, 
were  a  matter  of  the  supremest  indifference  to  her, 
though  all  the  while  beneath  her  dainty  gown  her 
heart  was  rebelling  against  the  tax  laid  upon  it,  and 
crying  out  against  the  violence  she  was  doing  it. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  121 

Her  flippancy  revolted  Robert.  He  knew  she  was 
betraying  her  better  nature,  having  been  long  ago 
convinced,  by  the  discernment  born  of  his  own  great 
love,  that  she  cared  for  him  above  other  men.  Now, 
lie  looked  sternly  and  reproachfully  at  her,  with  a 
glance  that  sent  a  shiver  through  her  inner  conscious- 
ness, so  much  disgust  was  mingled  with  it. 

"  No,"  he  replied  gravely.  "  I  should  not  think  it 
was  necessary  either  for  you  to  ask,  or  for  me  to 
reply  to,  that  question.  It  has  reminded  me,  however, 
that  I  had  a  purpose  in  coming  here  to-day.  Almost 
the  first  gossip  that  greeted  my  arrival  was  a  rumor 
of  your  engagement  to  Lord  Parker.  Eleanor,  I  want 
to  know  if  it  is  so  from  your  own  lips.  I  would 
believe  it  from  no  others,  even  though  they  were 
those  of  your  own  father." 

He  held  the  girl's  eyes  in  a  straightforward,  com- 
pelling gaze  which  there  was  no  escaping,  and  which 
rendered  equivocation  impossible.  A  hot  wave 
crimsoned  her  face,  and  she  was  just  about  to  stam- 
mer forth  a  reply,  when  a  diversion  was  created  in 
her  favor. 

Mrs.  Mansfield  had  been  receiving  a  rather  distin- 
guished personage,  and,  being  somewhat  apprehensive 
of  the  dangerous  tete-a-tete  being  indulged  in  by 
Kobert  and  Eleanor,  she  sought  to  interrupt  it  by 


122  DOCTOR  LAM  All. 

approaching,  and  claiming  Eleanor's  attention  for  a 
few  moments,  avowing  in  excuse  her  desire  to  present 
her  to  the  lionne. 

The  girl  gladly  welcomed  the  interruption,  and 
murmured  a  word  of  apology  to  Robert  for  leaving 
him.  As  she  rose  hastily  and  somewhat  nervously, 
her  quick  movement  upset  the  frail  little  table, 
beneath  a  leg  of  which  a  fold  of  her  gown  had 
inadvertently  lain.  With  a  crash  the  tiny  stand 
toppled  over,  its  contents  falling  in  a  broken,  confused 
heap  of  china  and  silverware  to  the  ground. 

This  was  by  no  means  the  worst  feature  of  the 
catastrophe,  however.  A  hissing  urn  had  been  upon 
the  table,  and  this  with  its  small  alcohol  lamp,  in 
which  a  live  wick  burned,  found  a  resting-place  upon 
the  filmy  lace  of  Eleanor's  gown.  Before  the  startled 
guests  could  fairly  realize  what  had  occurred,  the 
girl's  skirts  were  ablaze,  the  flames  finding  satisfactory 
food  for  their  fiery  appetite  in  the  light  texture  of 
the  fabric. 

She  had  unconsciously  called  Robert's  name  when 
her  danger  first  occurred  to  her,  and  before  she  had 
time  to  cry  out  again  the  folds  of  his  straight,  ugly 
soutane  were  wrapped  close  about  her,  while  its 
owner  in  his  shirt  sleeves,  did  fierce  battle  with  the 
flames  that  threatened  to  consume  her. 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  123 

She  was  badly  scorched  and  burned  he  could 
see,  as,  after  he  had  succeeded  in  extinguishing  the 
fire,  she  lay  for  a  moment  unconscious  upon  his 
breast ;  and  his  own  hands  and  face,  too,  smarted  and 
stung  from  contact  with  the  heat. 

His  tone  was  perhaps  a  little  masterful  as  he 
ordered  Mrs.  Mansfield,  who  was  wringing  her  hands 
in  excitement  and  fright,  to  clear  the  rooms ;  and  as 
the  guests  obediently  departed,  he  demanded  to  be 
shown  the  girl's  chamber,  as  he  gently  and  tenderly, 
despite  his  own  suffering,  raised  the  poor  scorched 
form  and  bore  it  easily  to  its  room,  his  superior 
height  and  strength  rendering  him  very  excellent 
service  in  the  undertaking. 

She  came  to,  as  he  laid  her  on  her  bed,  and  gave  a 
little  cry  as  she  recognized  his  blistered  face,  then,  as 
a  full  realization  of  her  escape  came  upon  her,  she 
burst  into  an  hysterical  fit  of  weeping,  so  violent  as 
to  alarm  her  aunt. 

It  was  marvellous  to  see  how  gentle  Eobert  was 
with  her  while  awaiting  the  physician's  coming.  He 
soothed  and  comforted  her  as  tenderly  as  a  mother 
her  child,  feeling  keenly  the  agony  her  tortured  flesh 
was  undergoing,  and,  by  the  sheer  force  of  his  own 
strong  spirit,  rendering  her  better  able  to  endure  her 
agonizing  sufferings. 


124  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

He  waited  below  while  the  physician  made  his 
examination,  and  interviewed  him  when  he  descended 
from  Eleanor's  room,  questioning  him  anxiously  and 
pertinently  regarding  her  injuries. 

"  Very  severe  and  painful,"  was  the  response. 
"  The  whole  right  side  is  badly  burned,  and  both  hands 
are  terribly  scorched.  She  must  suffer  intensely.  I 
have  dressed  the  burns  and  administered  a  sedative. 
I  understand,  sir,  that  she  owes  the  preservation  of 
her  beauty  to  you.  You  are  to  be  congratulated  upon 
having  rendered  society  such  a  service." 

Robert  smiled  to  himself  at  the  unintentional  irony 
of  the  remark.  He  had  rescued  her  beauty  from  the 
flames  at  the  risk  of  his  own  life,  that  society  might 
not  be  deprived  of  one  of  its  fairest  ornaments  ;  that 
Lord  Parker  might  not  be  brought  to  regret  having 
compromised  himself  by  an  offer  for  a  wife  whose 
qualifications  for  the  position  had  literally  well-nigh 
ended  in  smoke !  Almost  he  wished,  as  he  was  being 
borne  along  in  the  train  to  Fordham,  that  he  had  per- 
mitted the  desecration  of  her  lovely  features,  that 
he  might  then  have  proved  how  small  a  considera- 
tion, in  his  love  for  her,  was  her  beauty ;  how  great 
a  difference  existed  between  Lord  Parker's  vain  wish 
to  enhance  the  brilliancy  of  his  coronet  by  placing  it 
upon  her  brow,  and  his  own  love  for  herself  alone, 


DOCTOR   LAN  All.  125 

for  her  individual  and  spiritual  being  independent  of 
its  extraneous  advantages. 

His  appearance  created  alarm  and  agitation  at  the 
rectory.  His  singed  hair  gave  him  a  most  singular 
look,  and  his  burned,  smoke-stained  soutane  testified 
at  once  to  some  unusual  and  difficult  experience. 
Ehea  was  the  first  to  welcome  him  when  he  arrived, 
and  she  stood  aghast  at  his  disordered  appearance. 

"  What,  what  has  happened  ? "  she  cried,  as  she 
took  his  hand  in  greeting.  Her  touch  made  him  cry 
out. 

"Whew,  Rhea!  Don't  touch  my  hands;  I  have 
burned  them  pretty  badly,  I  think.  Get  me  a  glass 
of  sherry,  that's  a  good  girl,  and  then  I'll  tell  you. 
Stay,  where  is  Lamar  ?  " 

"  Wandering  somewhere  in  the  garden,  I  believe. 
Natalie  is  not  very  well  —  overtired,  I  fancy  —  and 
has  gone  to  bed." 

"  Well,  ask  Lamar  to  come  into  the  sitting-room, 
will  you,  and  bring  the  sherry  there  ?  I  am  about 
done  up,  I  believe." 

The  next  morning  Natalie  drove  the  trio,  Robert, 
Rhea,  and  their  guest,  to  the  station  in  time  for  the 
ten-o'clock  express  to  London.  Robert  had  passed  a 
restless,  uneasy  night,  and  was  impatient  to  satisfy 
his  anxiety  regarding  Eleanor's  condition.  Rhea  had 


126  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

expressed  her  determination  of  offering  her  services 
as  nurse  to  Mrs.  Mansfield,  having  little  doubt  but 
that  they  would  be  exceedingly  welcome  to  the  busy 
woman  immersed  in  the  whirl  of  social  duties  — 
especially  as  Mrs.  Dunstane,  as  Rhea  well  knew, 
would  be  unable  to  go  to  Eleanor's  relief,  owing  to  a 
severe  cold  which  had  confined  her  to  her  bed  for 
some  days  past. 

Being  fully  aware  of  Robert's  high  estimate  of  his 
friend's  professional  ability,  Rhea  had  suggested  to 
Lamar  himself  that  it  would  be  exceedingly  kind  of 
him  to  accompany  them  to  London,  and  reassure 
Robert  by  a  glance  at  the  sufferer.  Lamar  willingly 
acceded  to  the  proposal. 

Had  not  Eleanor  Dunstane's  accident  been  an  all- 
absorbing  topic  of  interest  at  the  breakfast-table  that 
morning,  the  marked  change  in  Natalie's  spirits 
would  not  so  easily  have  escaped  the  comment  and 
analyzation  of  her  fond  family  ;  but,  as  it  was,  nobody 
except  Lamar  dreamed  that  the  girl's  unusual  silence 
and  preoccupation  were  attributable  to  another  cause 
than  that  Avhich  had  cast  a  general  gloom  over  the 
rectory. 

Lamar  had  heard  no  happy,  careless  lilting  in  the 
garden  that  morning,  nor  could  his  most  eager  search 
discover  the  customary  boutonniere  in  its  usual  place 


DOCTOR   LAMAK.  127 

beside  his  fresh,  immaculate  napkin.  This  omission 
had  not  proceeded  from  wanton  forgetfulness  on 
Natalie's  part.  Her  impulse  had  been  to  gather  the 
fragrant  spray  as  usual,  but  she  had  been  restrained 
by  a  feeling  that  she  had  no  right  to  pluck  God's 
most  beautiful  gift  to  man  and  offer  it  to  one  who 
scorned  the  Divine  donor. 

So  Lamar  went  off  with  his  gray  tweed  coat  undec- 
orated,  and  with  a  sore,  hurt  feeling  in  his  heart. 
His  discomfort  was  but  enhanced  by  the  reflection 
that  the  strained  relations  existing  between  himself 
and  Natalie  were  wholly  his  own  fault. 

And  Natalie  ?  Well,  there  was  a  decided  choking 
in  her  throat  as  the  train  whirled  her  three  compan- 
ions out  of  sight,  and  she  turned  from  its  contempla- 
tion and  started  Jenny  on  the  homeward  route, 
with  a  slightly  aggrieved  sensation  as  of  one  cruelly 
deserted. 

It  is  always  so  much  easier  for  those  who  go  than 
for  those  who  remain  behind.  Even  if  the  grief  of 
parting  be  more  intense  in  the  one  who  departs,  it  is, 
for  a  time  at  least,  held  in  abeyance  by  the  change 
and  novelty  of  travel.  It  was,  therefore,  with  a 
decided  feeling  of  desertion  and  loneliness  that 
Natalie  took  her  way  back  to  the  quiet  rectory. 

It  was  oppressively  still  there,  and  she  tried  every 


128  DOCTOR   LA  MAR. 

means  known  to  her  of  enlivening  its  atmosphere  a 
little.  She  was  in  an  hysterical  condition  of  mind 
born  of  serious  thinking  —  to  her  an  unaccustomed 
mental  exercise.  The  conflict  which  had  been  going 
on  within  her  half  the  night  had  depressed  her 
greatly.  She  was  a  creature  very  dependent  upon 
sleep,  and,  being  deprived  of  it,  always  created  in  her 
a  languor  and  listlessness  difficult  to  combat. 

She  was  undergoing  a  crisis  in  her  life  for  which 
no  previous  experience  had  furnished  a  precedent. 
The  Object  of  her  life-long  worship  had  been  denied, 
insulted,  reviled  in  her  very  presence  —  and  by 
whom  ?  By  a  man  for  whose  opinions  she  had  come 
to  feel  a  peculiar  respect;  whose  personal  qualifica- 
tions strongly  attracted  her ;  and  whom,  notwithstand- 
ing his  terrible  atheism,  she  felt  to  be  possessed  of 
far  stronger  and  keener  intellectual  gifts  than  were 
those  with  whom  she  had  hitherto  come  in  contact. 

Heretofore  she  had  passively  accepted  religion  as 
the  natural  atmosphere  of  her  life,  and  had  been  con- 
tent to  receive  her  fathers  teachings  regarding  things 
divine  as  unquestioningly  as  she  had  submitted  to  his 
dictation  concerning  things  temporal.  She  had  never 
paused  to  consider  whether  his  judgment  might  or 
might  not  be  fallible.  She  had  been  simply  a  care- 
less, easy-going  child,  whose  innocent  mind  was  like 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  129 

a  calm,  untroubled  pool,  reflecting  the  thoughts  of 
those  who  breathed  upon  its  placid  surface.  Hitherto 
its  waters  Jraxl  been  unruffled  by  any  harsh  wind  of 
doubt  or  perplexity.  Sunshine  alone  had  fallen  upon 
it,  and  no  heavy  cloud  of  thought  had  ever  obscured 
its  peaceful  transparency. 

Of  a  sudden  its  tranquillity  had  been  bestirred.  A 
new  suggestion,  a  terrible  supposition  had  for  the 
first  time  awakened  within  its  depths  a  consciousness 
of  the  fact  that  there  were  other  minds,  as  well  in- 
structed, as  capable  and  intelligent  as  those  of  her 
little  circle,  who  disputed  the  truth  of  the  great 
maxims  she  had  been  taught  to  believe  fully  estab- 
lished. 

A  novel  sensation,  as  of  the  sudden  awakening  of 
her  own  dormant  intellect,  troubled  her  with  the 
conviction  that  hereafter  she  should  no  longer  be  sat- 
isfied with  the  conclusions  of  others ;  that  her  mind 
must  solve  for  itself  the  enigma  which  had  just  been 
propounded  to  her. 

Her  feeling  toward  Lamar  was  a  mixture  of  resent- 
ment and  attraction.  While  angry  that  he  had  con- 
temned her  faith  and  disturbed  her  peace  of  mind, 
she  was  yet  drawn  to  him  by  reason  of  her  tender 
pity  for  his  unhappy  position  and  by  personal  liking 
and  admiration. 


130  DOCTOR   LA  MAR. 

She  wandered  restlessly  about  the  still,  deserted 
rooms,  feeling  that  she  needed  some  sort  of  a  mental 
stimulant  to  brace  her  up.  To  tell  the  tTTith,  she  felt 
herself  decidedly  out  of  temper,  and  would  have  wel- 
comed Derrick  Grafton  as  a  scapegoat  for  her  ill- 
humor.  He  not  being  to  the  fore,  however,  it  occurred 
to  her  that  Catherine's  temper  usually  furnished  an 
adversary  ever  ready  for  a  conflict  of  words,  and  she 
accordingly  took  her  way  kitchenwards. 

But  this  morning  even  Catherine  failed  her.  The 
old  woman  was  in  excellent  spirits,  consequent  upon 
the  knowledge  that  her  duties,  with  the  larger  part 
of  the  family  absent,  would  be  light.  She  was  a  little 
touched,  too,  by  the  sight  of  Natalie's  unwonted 
pallor  and  heavy  eyes,  for  she  loved  the  girl  with  all 
the  devotion  of  which  her  crabbed  spirit  was  capable, 
having  been  nurse  at  one  period  of  her  service  in  the 
rector's  family. 

"  Indeed,  but  you  do  look  a  bit  poorly  this  morn- 
ing, Miss  Natalie,"  she  said,  as  the  girl  entered  her 
beautifully  clean  and  neat  kitchen.  "  Indeed,  then, 
Miss  Eleanor  may  feel  flattered  that  ye  all  think 
that  much  of  her,  that  her  mishap  should  ha'  thrown 
ye  all  into  such  commotion.  Here's  Barker  been 
telling  me  a  tale  from  the  village,  and  I'm  fair  sorry 
Miss  Rhea  isn't  to  home,  for  I  know  she'd  manage 
some  way  to  settle  the  matter." 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  131 

"What  is  it,  Catherine?"  the  girl  asked  with  a 
forced  air  of  attention,  for,  although  usually  eager 
and  interested  in  the  village  gossip,  she  felt  to-day 
that  her  own  affairs  and  perplexities  were  sufficient 
food  for  her  mind. 

But  as  the  old  woman  related  her  story,  hot  anger 
and  indignation  began  to  throb  in  her  pulses  until,  as 
Catherine's  somewhat  prolix  narrative  came  to  a  con- 
clusion, she  started  to  her  feet  with  flushed  face  and 
sparkling  eyes,  crying,  — 

"  It  is  shameful,  outrageous,  Catherine !  I  shall 
speak  to  papa  this  moment  about  it ! "  and  was  out  of 
the  room  and  in  her  father's  study  before  Catherine 
could  remind  her  how  rarely  Rhea  permitted  the  rec- 
tor's tranquillity  to  be  disturbed  by  parish  troubles. 

The  rector  was  seated  in  his  arm-chair  which  was 
drawn  up  by  the  open  window,  looking  the  personifi- 
cation of  comfort,  and  placidly  reading  a  recent 
treatise  on  Tractarianism,  the  work  of  an  old  college 
chum.  As  the  door  burst  violently  open  and  Natalie 
rushed  in  like  a  young  whirlwind,  he  laid  down  the 
pamphlet  and  took  off  his  spectacles  with  an  indul- 
gent smile  at  the  intruder. 

"  How  now,  little  one  ?  "  he  asked  as  he  noted  the 
indignant  animation  on  the  flushed  face.  "Derrick 
been  here,  or  Barker's  hens  been  in  your  garden 


132  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

again?"     He  held  out  his  hand,  but  Natalie  was  too 
excited  to  notice  it. 

"  No,  papa,"  she  cried,  "  neither ;  but  I  wish  from 
my  heart  that  Derrick  Graf  ton  were  here.  It  would 
relieve  my  mind  to  tell  him  my  opinion  of  his  con- 
duct. Listen,  papa.  You  know  the  Catherwoods  in 
the  village  ?  They  used  to  be  your  parishioners,  but 
when  the  new  Dissenting  Chapel  was  built  they  went 
over  to  it,  attracted  by  the  singular  eloquence  of  that 
terrible  man  who  preaches  there.  Derrick  and  Khea 
tried  to  win  them  back  and  succeeded  for  a  time ;  but 
finally  they  returned  to  the  chapel.  For  a  year  they 
have  been  vacillating  between  church  and  chapel,  and 
at  last  both  Derrick  and  the  Methodist  minister 
became  disgusted  and  angry  with  them,  and  declared 
they  would  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  them.  A 
week  ago  Lily  Catherwood,  that  pretty  girl  who  went 
astray,  came  home  to  die.  She  was  in  a  terrible 
state  of  mind,  Barker  says,  and  implored  her  mother 
to  send  for  a  clergyman  to  ease  her  conscience  before 
she  died.  Her  mother  sent  for  Derrick,  who  refused 
to  go,  saying  they  were  not  his  parishioners,  and  bid- 
ding them  send  for  the  Methodist  minister.  This 
Mrs.  Catherwood  did,  but  he  also  refused,  directing 
them,  in  his  turn,  to  apply  to  Derrick.  Between  two 
stools  the  poor  girl  fell  to  the  ground.  Oh,  papa, 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  133 

think  of  it !  That  wretched,  unhappy  creature  died 
without  a  word  of  Diviue  comfort;  is  it  not  too 
dreadful  ?  " 

She  clasped  her  hands  feelingly,  and  the  warm 
tears  of  tender  pity  filled  her  beautiful  eyes.  The 
rector  looked  distressed. 

"  Dear,  dear,  dear ! "  he  murmured,  shaking  his 
head  sadly.  "This  is  most  unfortunate.  But,  my 
dear,  Derrick  may  have  some  extenuating  circum- 
stances to  plead." 

"  Extenuating  circumstances  !  "  she  exclaimed  with 
contempt.  "  Could  they  exist  in  such  a  case  ?  But 
wait  a  moment,  papa,  you  have  not  yet  heard  the 
worst.  The  girl  died  the  day  before  yesterday,  and 
the  poor  mother  was  distracted  between  grief  and 
perplexity  as  to  whom  she  should  ask  to  read  the 
burial  service.  She  finally  sent  her  husband  to  Mel- 
bury  to  ask  Mr.  Strange,  the  rector  there,  if  he  would 
come  over  and  perform  the  sad  ceremony.  He 
refused  on  the  ground  of  etiquette,  and  what  do  you 
think  the  result  was  ?  The  poor  dead  girl  was 
packed  on  board  a  train  and  taken  to  the  next  county, 
where  she  was  at  last  decently  buried,  and  where  the 
Catherwoods  propose  living  hereafter.  Oh,  papa, 
isn't  it  a  hideous  thing  for  Derrick  to  have  done  ?  " 

This  time  the  rector  was  fairly  aroused.     He  rose 


134  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

from  his  chair  and  moved  toward  the  door,  Natalie 
following. 

"  Papa,  where  are  you  going  ?  "  she  asked. 

She  had  seldom  heard  such  angry  tones  from  him 
as  those  which  now  emphasized  his  reply. 

"  Where  am  I  going,  Natalie  ?  Why,  to  the  vil- 
lage, to  be  sure,  to  inquire  into  this  business.  If  it 
be  as  you  say,  Derrick  shall  have  a  piece  of  my  mind 
forthwith.  What  an  outrage  to  have  happened  in  a 
Christian  community ! " 

He  went  out,  and  Natalie  sank  into  his  chair  and 
sat  gazing  out  of  the  open  window,  her  mind  a  tumult 
of  various  emotions.  Dominant  among  them  was 
disgust  of  Grafton.  He,  to  call  himself  a  minister 
and  disciple  of  Christ,  and  yet  belittle  the  dignity  of 
his  profession  by  allowing  his  jealous  intolerance  of 
other  sects  to  withhold  him  from  the  performance 
of  a  most  obvious  duty  !  Oh,  it  was  shameful !  His 
conduct  was  a  disgrace  to  his  cloth. 

And  then  she  became  possessed  of  a  fear  lest 
Lamar  should  hear  of  this  incident.  She  felt  keenly 
how  evidential  it  would  appear  to  him  of  the  immor- 
ality of  Christianity,  and  could  imagine  how  intoler- 
ant his  broad  mind  would  be  of  the  petty  limitations 
which  restricted  Grafton.  Lamar's  recent  attack 
upon  the  faith  to  which  she  held,  had  left  her  spirit 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  135 

in  a  sore  and  supersensitive  condition,  and  at  no 
former  time  would  this  breach  in  Christian  duty  have 
appeared  to  her  so  hideous  and  monstrous  a  thing  as 
it  did  now. 

The  study  was  very  quiet ;  the  summer  air  was 
warm,  soft  and  caressing ;  deep  thought  and  un- 
wonted agitation  are  most  exhausting  processes. 
A  little  later  a  gaudy  butterfly,  sailing  in  through  the 
open  casement,  was  surprised  to  find  that  the  fra- 
grance which  he  had  mistaken  for  the  breath  of  some 
new  and  exquisite  blossom  came  from  the  half-parted 
lips  of  a  sleeping  girl. 


136  DOCTOR  LAMAB. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  day  was  terribly  long  to  Natalie.  It  seemed 
that  the  hour  when  she  was  to  drive  to  the  station  for 
Eobert  and  Lamar  would  never  come.  The  rector 
had  returned  from  the  village,  weary  and  sad.  He 
had  proved  Natalie's  story  to  be  true,  although  Derrick 
sought  to  excuse  himself  on  the  ground  that  he  had 
supposed  the  minister  had  performed  the  required 
services.  Mr.  Wyndham  had  reproved  his  curate  as 
severely  as  was  possible  to  him,  and  had  read  him  a 
long  homily  upon  his  unchristian-like  conduct. 

It  was  always  unpleasant  to  him  to  be  forced  to 
admonish  any  one,  and,  as  he  recounted  his  conversa- 
tion with  Grafton  to  Natalie,  while  they  sat  at  lunch, 
she  was  troubled  to  see  how  pale  and  exhausted  her 
father  looked.  His  gentle  old  heart  was  really 
wounded  by  his  young  curate's  action,  and  he  spoke 
of  the  unhappy  Catherwoods  in  terms  of  the  warmest 
sympathy. 

This  furnished  Natalie  with  an  opportunity  for 
putting  a  question  which  had  been  perplexing  her 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  137 

ever  since  she  had  refused  compliance  with  Lamar's 
request  for  reconciliation. 

"Papa,"  she  began  tentatively,  "don't  you  pity 
any  one  who  does  not  belong  to  our  church  ?  " 

"I  do,  indeed,  little  one,"  the  rector  replied,  mean- 
ing what  he  said,  thoroughly,  for  to  him  the  Church 
of  England  was  the  one  safe  anchorage  of  Christianity. 
Any  other  creed  or  belief  was  treacherous  and  unstable 
mooring,  requiring  a  continual  battling  with  waves  of 
doubt  and  argument. 

"But  you  don't  despise  those  whose  religion  differs 
from  ours  ?  "  she  went  on. 

"  Most  certainly  not ;  I  respect  every  man's  opinions, 
my  child.  The  mind  is  God's  finest  gift  to  man  —  a 
free  and  magnificent  gift,  which  he  has  bestowed 
untrammelled  by  any  restrictions  and  regulated  only 
by  the  little  indicator  we  call  conscience.  If  God 
permits  a  man  to  believe  according  to  his  reason,  why 
should  I,  who  have  no  claim  over  my  kind  to  supe- 
riority of  intellect,  presume  to  assert  that  my  mind 
has  attained  to  a  greater  infallibility  of  judgment  ?  " 

The  girl  listened  attentively  and  weighed  his  words 
with  a  seriousness  that  somewhat  surprised  her  father, 
who  was  unaccustomed  to  seeing  her  deal  with  such 
grave  matters. 

"Yes,"  she  remarked  after  a  few  moments,  with  a 


138  DOCTOR  LAMAIl. 

sage  little  nod  of  assent,  "  I  think  you  are  right.  But, 
papa,  supposing  a  person's  mind  were  trained  in  a 
channel  of  unbelief  which  made  of  him  a  sceptic ; 
how  then  ?  —  would  you  still  allow  him  the  latitude  of 
so  much  freedom  of  thought  ?  Would  you  still  agree 
that  he  might  be  in  the  right  and  you  in  the  wrong  ? 
-^that  it  was  only  a  question  of  the  relative  worth  of 
minds  ?  " 

She  had  unintentionally  caught  the  rector  in  a  trap. 
He  looked  a  little  disconcerted,  but  evaded  the  argu- 
ment in  a  manner  more  satisfactory  to  her  than  if  he 
had  tried  to  maintain  his  ground. 

"  Of  such  a  person  I  should  say,  my  dear,  that  his 
indicator  was  quite  out  of  balance.  I  should  pity 
him  profoundly,  and  consider  it  incumbent  upon  me 
to  re-adjust  the  little  needle  to  its  true  position." 

"You  would  not  hate  him  for  his  disbelief,  and 
shun  and  shrink  from  him  for  his  ingratitude  to 
God  ?  " 

Her  eyes  did  not  rest  on  her  father's  face  any 
longer ;  they  had  stolen  away  out  into  the  garden,  and 
were  fixed  upon  a  tall  sweetbrier  bush,  beside  which 
she  almost  thought  she  saw  a  tall,  grave  figure  standing. 

"  Why,  Natalie,  no ;  most  certainly  not !  Could 
there  be  any  finer  work  than  to  regenerate  such  a  poor 
soul  ?  Little  girl,  let  me  tell  you  how  such  wandering 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  139 

sheep  are  to  be  brought  back  into  the  fold ;  not  by 
harsh  treatment  and  avoidance,  not  by  scornful  speech 
or  coldness  of  manner;  but  by  loving  ministration, 
tender  pity  and  sympathy,  by  constant  effort  and 
endeavor  to  show  ourselves  worthy  imitators  of  Him 
who  said, '  Other  sheep  I  have  which  are  not  of  this  fold ; 
them  also  must  I  bring,  and  they  shall  hear  my  voice  ; 
and  there  shall  be  one  fold  and  one  shepherd.'  Natalie, 
we  who  call  ourselves  Christians  are,  in  our  self- 
complacency,  apt  to  slight  one  of  the  most  tenderly 
beautiful  of  our  blessed  Lord's  parables — that  of  the 
lost  sheep.  How  many,  many  times  He  impressed  it 
upon  His  disciples  that  sinners,  and  not  the  righteous, 
were  His  special  charge;  and  that  the  pathway  which 
should  lead  them  back  to  the  true  life  must  not  be  a 
gloomy  route  of  reproach  and  blame,  but  a  bright, 
cheery  way  lighted  by  the  divine  torches  of  love  and 
charity.  Little  girl,  let  me  give  you  an  example. 
Suppose  that  Robert  were  to  leave  home  and  wander 
forth  into  the  world.  Misfortune  overtakes  him,  he 
falls  into  a  life  of  sin,  and  writes  to  me  for  pecuniary 
help.  Being  persuaded  that  to  grant  him  this  will  but 
encourage  him  in  his  downward  course,  I  refuse  to 
accede  to  his  request.  He  writes  again,  and  yet 
again,  and  still  I  continue  inexorable.  After  a  while 
I  cease  to  reply  at  all,  fof  his  letters  become  threaten- 


140  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

ing,  and  mine  appear  only  to  irritate  him.  Receiving 
no  reply  from  me,  he  begins  to  doubt  my  continued 
existence  at  last,  and  perhaps,  influenced  by  what 
appears  to  him  my  unnatural  obduracy  (he  being  quite 
unable  to  appreciate  the  motives  which  have  dictated 
it),  he  grows  to  hate  me  and  ceases  to  retain  for  me 
the  least  filial  affection.  Many  years  later,  when  his 
heart  has  grown  bitter  and  callous,  you  chance  to 
meet  him  afar  off  in  foreign  lands.  You  know  him 
to  be  your  brother,  though  he  is  alienated  from  you 
by  sin  and  prejudice;  you  still  love  him  and  know 
how,  at  a  distance,  I  am  pining  with  yearning  for  my 
unhappy  boy.  What  would  you  do  in  such  a  case  ? 
Pass  him  by  with  a  cold  shrug  as  being  unworthy  of 
your  notice  ?  Could  you  persuade  yourself  that  by 
so  doing  you  would  gain  my  approval,  who  am  still 
passionately  loving  my  prodigal  and  longing  for  his 
return  ?  —  or  do  you  think  a  system  of  angry  recrimina- 
tion and  bitter  reproach  would  be  calculated  to  teach 
him  that  I  was  considering  only  his  ultimate  welfare 
by  my  conduct,  and  that  I  still  wait  with  outstretched 
arms  and  eager  heart  to  welcome  him  back  ?  Don't 
you  rather  think,  my  dear,  that  you  would  best  teach 
him  how  real  my  paternity  is,  by  proving  yourself  his 
true  sister;  by  seeking  to  win  him  to  a  belief  in  my 
wisdom  and  boundless  affection,  by  the  example  of 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  141 

your  own  tenderness  and  charity  to  him  ?  Don't  you 
think  this  the  better  method,  my  Natalie?" 

And  so  the  girl's  perplexities  wera  set  at  rest,  and 
when  the  hour  arrived  for  her  to  set  out  for  the  sta- 
tion, her  heart  was  considerably  lighter  as  she  jogged 
on  behind  old  Jenny.  It  was  so  much  easier  and 
more  comfortable  to  be  on  terms  of  peace  with  every- 
body. This  "  everybody,"  however,  excluded  from  its 
embrace  the  Rev.  Derrick  Grafton,  with  whom,  thanks 
to  his  late  conduct,  she  again  felt  herself  to  be  on 
hostile  terms. 

She  waited  impatiently  for  the  express,  anxious  to 
begin  her  work  of  conversion  upon  Lamar,  whom  she 
was  coming  to  regard  as  her  special  charge.  When 
the  train  at  last  steamed  in  and  gave  up  its  Fordham 
passengers,  there  was  a  delicious,  shy,  little  smile  of 
welcome  on  her  face  for  Lamar,  which  gave  him  a 
warm,  comfortable  feeling  about  the  heart,  and  lighted 
his  gray  eyes  rather  brilliantly. 

"And  darling  Eleanor  ?  "  she  asked,  as,  with  Robert 
in  behind  and  Laraar  by  her  side,  she  tooled  the  cart 
as  smoothly  over  the  ground  as  Jenny  could  be  in- 
duced to  drag  it ;  "  how  is  she  ?  " 

"Doing  as  well  as  one  could  expect,"  Lamar  re- 
turned. "  Your  sister's  coming  was  a  perfect  God- 
send to  Mrs.  Mansfield.  That  estimable  lady  is 


142  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

decidedly  out  of  her  element  in  a  sick-room.  Miss 
Dunstane's  burns  are  not  dangerous,  though  very 
painful,  poor  girl !  How  lucky  that  her  face  was 
uninjured !  I  have  rarely  seen  greater  beauty." 

Robert  looked  pale  and  wan.  It  was  terrible  to 
him  to  feel  that  Eleanor  was  undergoing  such  suffer- 
ing. He  had  not  seen  her  again,  of  course,  and  it  is 
always  so  hard  to  content  one's  self  with  tidings  of 
those  we  love  through  the  medium  of  a  third  person. 
Yet  it  was  some  comfort  to  know  that  Rhea  was  with 
her;  the  fact  seemed  to  constitute  a  bond  between 
him  and  the  woman  he  loved. 

The  days  went  by,  swiftly  enough  for  Natalie  and 
Lamar,  though  they  dragged  heavily  with  Robert. 
He  had  been  offered  a  very  excellent  living  in  the 
south  of  England  :  a  living  which  was  in  the  'gift  of 
an  uncle  of  his  mother,  and  whose  duties  he  would 
enter  upon  as  soon  as  the  present  incumbent,  who  had 
received  preferment,  should  retire.  Meanwhile  he 
shared  his  time  between  Fordham  and  London. 

Lamar  showed  himself  the  least  exigeant  of  guests 
as  long  as  Natalie's  society  was  obtainable ;  and,  as 
Rhea  still  continued  to  remain  away,  and  Robert's 
absences  were  very  frequent,  the  two  were  thrown 
into  a  close  intimacy  that,  had  she  been  at  home, 
would  not  have  escaped  Rhea's  notice  as  completely 
as  it  did  that  of  her  father  and  brother. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  143 

Had  he  been  less  preoccupied  with  his  own  affairs, 
Robert  could  not  have  been  so  blind  to  the  drift 
which  matters  were  taking,  and  it  is  more  than  prob- 
able that  he  would  have  sought  to  check  the  current 
of  fate ;  for,  however  great  his  affection  and  charity 
for  his  friend,  he  was  too  illiberal  a  Christian  to 
tolerate  the  thought  of  his  pure,  innocent  young 
sister  giving  her  life  into  the  keeping  of  an  atheist. 
Men  are  proverbially  obtuse  in  such  matters  ;  and  the 
difference  between  the  gay,  light-hearted  little  maiden 
and  the  grave,  recently  widowed  physician  seemed  too 
wide  a  one  for  Cupid  to  bridge. 

Yet,  had  Robert's  sight  been  freed  from  a  constant 
vision  of  that  beautiful,  cruelly  outraged  form  of 
Eleanor  Dunstane,  it  might  have  detected  the  gradual 
approach  of  the  two  natures  which,  under  his  very 
eyes,  were  going  through  a  metamorphosis  wonder- 
fully interesting  to  a  psychologist.  By  degrees,  the 
gay  vivacity  of  the  girl  was  becoming  toned  to  a 
graver  key.  Her  laugh  was  perhaps  as  frequent  as 
ever,  but  its  quality  had  changed.  Its  spontaneity 
was  less  marked,  and  its  tones  were  richer  and  fuller. 
She  seemed  as  happy  as  formerly,  but  her  merriment 
was  more  fitful.  She  was  becoming  a  victim  of  moods, 
—  these  being  the  evidence  of  the  birth  and  develop- 
ment of  thought  within  her. 


144  DOCTOR   LAMA  It. 

Oftentimes  Lamar  would  enter  the  pleasant  sitting- 
room,  thinking,  by  reason  of  its  stillness,  to  find  it 
untenanted,  and  discover  to  his  surprise  a  girlish 
figure  curled  up  in  one  of  the  broad  window-seats, 
with  a  grave,  serious  look  in  her  violet  eyes,  and  a 
knot  of  perplexity  wrinkling  her  smooth,  white  brow. 

On  such  occasions  he  would  seat  himself  beside  her, 
and  seek  to  assist  the  untrained  mind  in  solving  the 
riddles  that  were  harassing  it.  His  efforts  to  help 
her  in  forming  acceptable  conclusions  regarding  the 
greater  problems  of  life  usually  resulted  in  impressing 
her  with  a  sense  of  the  justice  of  his  own  views ;  for, 
sweet  and  amiable  as  Natalie  was,  her  mind  was 
entirely  unargumentative,  and  it  was  much  easier  for 
her  to  succumb  to  the  influence  of  others  than  to 
combat  it.  She  was  feminine  to  the  ends  of  her 
finger-tips,  which  fact,  perhaps  more  that  anything 
else,  endeared  her  to  Lamar.  She  was  clinging, 
docile,  and  exceedingly  teachable  ;  and  so  charming 
was  it  to  see  her  mind  expanding  beneath  his  glance, 
to  feel  her  soul  vibrating  to  his  touch,  that  it  scarcely 
occurred  to  him  to  consider  what  effect  his  strong 
rationalism  was  producing  upon  the  girl's  receptive 
intellect,  while  no  thought  of  treachery  to  those  who 
so  implicitly  trusted  him  disturbed  his  complacency. 

It  was  not  until  long  after  that  he  awoke  to  a  con- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  145 

sciousness  of  the  evil  he  had  effected,  and  then,  alas ! 
he  had  no  satisfactory  material  to  offer  for  the  rebuild- 
ing of  that  fair  structure  of  faith  which  he  had  so 
unwittingly  undermined. 

While  this  change  was  taking  place  in  the  girl,  a 
still  greater  transformation  was  going  on  in  the  man. 
Lamar  looked  ten  years  younger  than  when  he  first 
arrived  at  Fordham.  The  preoccupation  and  gravity 
born  of  his  professional  duties  had  quite  vanished, 
and  his  spirits  were  almost  boyish  in  their  rejuvenes- 
cence. He  had  shaved  his  beard  at  Natalie's  in- 
stigation, and  improved  his  looks  wonderfully  by 
permitting  the  escape  from  ambush  of  his  finely 
modelled  chin.  The  world  had  become  to  him  a  new 
thing :  life  was  now  a  different  experience  from  any- 
thing that  existence  had  heretofore  afforded  him ;  and 
he  felt  that  he  was  scarcely  the  same  being  as  when 
he  left  America. 

Once  in  a  while  a  recollection  of  the  necessity  for 
his  return  to  New  York  assailed  him  with  unpleasant 
force,  but  he  thrust  it  resolutely  aside.  This  was 
holiday-time,  the  only  real  holiday  his  life  had  ever 
known,  and  not  one  moment  of  it  should  be  infringed 
on  by  dull  care.  He  rode,  walked,  went  on  picnics, 
and  gardened,  with  Natalie,  and  sometimes  paused  in 
wonder  at  himself.  He  had  become  a  familiar  visitor 


146  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

at  the  Dunstanes',  who  liked  him,  one  and  all,  and 
encouraged  his  visits. 

Perhaps  Mrs.  Dunstane,  with  feminine  acumen, 
saw  the  trend  of  the  relationship  between  Natalie 
and  her  brother's  guest,  but,  being  acquainted  with 
the  latter's  excellent  standing  and  more  than  ample 
fortune,  she  probably  considered  that  should  the  natu- 
ral result  of  their  apparently  mutual  liking  transpire, 
the  girl  would  be  remarkably  fortunate,  and  the  rector 
greatly  to  be  envied. 

There  was  another  person  who  watched  Lamar  and 
Natalie  with  careful  eyes,  and  this  was  none  other 
than  the  Rev.  Derrick  Graf  ton.  His  jealous  sus- 
picious had  been  first  aroused  on  the  day  when 
Natalie  deserted  him  for  Lamar,  and  he  had  been  on 
the  alert  ever  since.  He  had  had  frequent  occasions 
for  observation  at  the  small  gatherings  with  which 
the  neighborhood  sought  to  amuse  itself;  and  the 
eyes  of  love  are  quick  of  detection. 

The  Rev.  Derrick's  mind,  as  we  have  seen,  was  not 
a  liberal  one,  and  jealousy  and  suspicion  flourish 
best  in  shallow  soil.  He  came  very  soon  to  hate 
Lamar  with  all  the  bitterness  of  a  narrow  soul,  and, 
though  a  sufficiently  kind  and  agreeable  fellow  when 
things  went  to  his  liking,  yet  he  was  sufficiently 
petty  and  ungenerous  to  grudge  Lamar  the  prize  he 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  147 

knew  himself  incapable  of  acquiring.  He  could  dis- 
cover only  one  peg  in  the  American's  character  on 
which  to  hang  suspicion  and  reproach  —  this  was  his 
non-church-going  tendency. 

From  the  first,  Lamar  had  declined  to  avail  himself 
of  the  invitation  extended  to  him  by  his  host  — 
whom  Robert  had  prepared  for  the  refusal  by  urging 
his  friend's  nervous,  restless  condition  of  health,  which 
made  the  restraint  imposed  by  church  attendance 
quite  unendurable.  The  rector  had  readily  granted 
the  position,  and  Lamar  had  on  Sundays  been  left 
free  to  follow  the  bent  of  his  own  inclinations.  But 
Grafton  was  less  tolerant  than  his  rector  —  indeed,  he 
found  frequent  cause  for  disapproval  in  his  superior's 
charitable  and  clement  views  of  the  actions  of 
humanity.  His  numerous  and  pointed  allusions  to 
Lamar's  absence  from  church  often  made  the  latter's 
muscles  quiver  with  a  longing  to  take  the  young 
curate  by  the  collar  of  his  clerical  coat,  and  adminis- 
ter a  sound  shaking  to  him. 

A  trifling  incident  which  happened  at  one  of  the 
Dunstanes'  picnics  intensified  Grafton's  animosity : 
after  a  merry  al  fresco  lunch  the  party  had  broken 
up  into  small  groups.  Lamar  had  been  detained  by 
Lady  Mary  Freelove,  the  squiress  of  the  village, 
who  was  much  interested  in  the  system  of  asso- 


148  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

elated  charities  which  does  such  a  noble  work  in 
America. 

When  he  was  finally  at  liberty  to  follow  his  incli- 
nations, he  discovered  that  Natalie  had  disappeared, 
and  supposed,  as  proved  the  case,  that  she  had  wan- 
dered off  for  a  little  stroll  by  herself.  He  at  once 
detenu ined  to  seek  her  out,  and,  lighting  a  cigar, 
threaded  his  way  in  and  out  of  the  small  copsewood 
where  lunch  had  been  served,  and  took  the  direction 
of  the  river.  For  some  time  he  could  discover  no 
clew  to  the  object  of  his  search,  but  suddenly  a  sound 
of  voices  arrested  his  attention.  Some  low  bushes 
separated  him  from  the  river  bank,  and  it  was  from 
the  other  side  of  the  stream  that  the  voices  appar- 
ently proceeded. 

Natalie  was  speaking,  and  her  tones  were  indig- 
nant ;  therefore  it  was  easy  to  guess  to  whom  they 
were  addressed. 

"He  is  my  friend,"  were  the  first  distinct  words 
Lamar  caught,  "  and  I  won't  stand  here  and  listen  to 
your  calumnies,  even  if  I  have  to  swim  ashore." 

"  He  is  a  man  who  dares  not  enter  holy  sanctuary," 
Grafton's  voice  replied;  "and  I  wonder  that  your 
father  will  tolerate  beneath  his  roof  one  whose  con- 
stant neglect  of  devotion  is  an  insult  to  his  Creator." 

"  He  is  a  man  whose  whole  life  has  been  spent  in 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  149 

ministering  to  others,  and  who,  whatever  may  be  his 
religious  views,  is  too  truly  a  Christian  to  refuse  his 
services  to  the  dying,  as  others,  who  profess  much 
more  than  he,  have  been  known  to  do." 

The  shot,  which  was  perhaps  a  little  cruel,  must 
have  told,  for  Graftoii's  tone  was  quite  altered  when 
he  spoke  again ;  it  was  marked  by  real  sorrow  and 
regret. 

"  You  are  thinking  of  the  Catherwoods  ?  "  he  said 
sadly.  "Natalie,  your  father  made  me  sufficiently 
ashamed  of  my  conduct  toward  them.  You  do  not 
need  to  add  anything  to  my  remorse."  Then  his 
voice  broke,  and  a  pleading  passion  came  into  it,  so 
intense  and  hopeless,  that  it  rendered  Lamar  indul- 
gent to  him,  even  to  the  pardoning  of  his  words  about 
himself.  "Oh,  Natalie!"  he  cried  earnestly,  "why 
are  you  so  hard  on  me  ?  so  cruel  and  unjust  to  me 
alone  out  of  the  whole  world  ?  Why  can't  you  give 
me  a  little"  — 

Here  Lamar's  sense  of  honor  proved  itself  potent, 
and  he  was  moving  away  to  escape  playing  eaves- 
dropper to  what  Robert  denominated  "another  cul- 
mination," when  he  heard  a  little  startled  cry  from 
Natalie,  which  altered  his  purpose  and  drew  him 
swiftly  in  her  direction. 

As  he   emerged    from    the    bushes   he    saw  that 


150  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Graf  ton  was  standing,  with  outstretched  hand,  on 
the  opposite  bank  of  the  little  stream,  which  had 
here  grown  sufficiently  shallow  to  permit  of  crossing 
by  the  aid  of  stepping-stones.  Midway  in  the  stream 
was  Natalie,  balancing  herself  on  the  slippery  foot- 
ing, and  Lamar  at  once  came  to  the  conclusion  that 
the  cry  had  been  merely  an  attempt  to  create  a 
diversion  and  cut  off  Grafton's  declaration,  by  calling 
his  attention  to  her  threatening  position. 

He  could  not  help  smiling  at  her  ruse  as  he  came 
forward  and  saluted  her. 

"  What  a  terrible  peril,  Miss  Natalie !  Grafton, 
why  don't  you  strip  off  your  coat  and  swim  to  her 
rescue  ?  " 

The  curate  paid  no  attention  to  him,  but  advanced 
a  step  or  two  over  the  stones  to  Natalie,  still  with 
outstretched  hand. 

"  Natalie,"  he  protested,  "  don't  go  any  farther." 

A  spirit  of  mischief  entered  Lamar's  brain.  He 
advanced  to  the  edge  of  the  water  and,  poising  him- 
self on  one  of  the  stones  on  his  side,  held  out  his 
strong,  nervous  hand. 

"Miss  Natalie,"  he  exclaimed,  "do  come  a  little 
farther ! " 

Her  roguish  eyes  met  the  fun  in  his.  It  was  rather 
a  descriptive  tableau  that  the  trio  made  as  they  stood 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  151 

thus.  The  quiet,  verdant  woodland,  and  the  pretty, 
silvery  river;  the  fair,  alluring  maiden,  in  her  pictu- 
resque summer  garb,  balancing  herself  coquettishly 
on  her  precarious  footing  in  mid-stream  ;  and  on 
either  side  of  her  hesitant  figure  a  man,  with  out- 
stretched hand,  waiting  and  eager  to  be  chosen  as 
her  knight. 

The  'contrast  in  the  faces  of  the  two  men  was  a 
strong  one,  and  a  stranger  would  have  laid  his 
money  on  Grafton  to  win.  His  handsome  features 
were  marked  with  intense  passion,  and  his  youth 
and  beauty  would  have  seemed  to  hold  Lamar  at 
a  disadvantage. 

Apparently  the  latter  was  simply  amused  at  the 
situation  and  careless  of  its  termination ;  but  any 
close  observer  might  have  detected  an  earnestness 
latent  in  his  smile,  and  a  touch  of  excitement  dark- 
ening the  iris  and  dilating  the  pupil  of  his  gray 
eyes. 

The  girl  paused  and  balanced  herself  uncertainly 
upon  her  toes  for  a  moment  or  more ;  not  that  she 
was  at  all  undecided  as  to  her  ultimate  choice,  but 
because  she  felt  an  inclination  to  practise  a  bit  that 
gift  of  coquetry  which  even  the  gentlest  of  Eve's 
daughters  enjoys  exercising.  Then,  gathering  her 
dainty  skirts  a  trifle  more  closely  about  her,  she 


152  DOCTOR  LAMAB. 

deliberately  turned  her  back  upon  Grafton,  and, 
crossing  the  intervening  stones,  laid  her  soft  white 
lingers  in  Lamar's  with  a  little  blush. 

He  caught  them  eagerly  and  held  them  a  moment 
close  prisoners  in  his,  as  he  stooped,  and,  lifting  his 
hat  courteously,  looked  her  almost  tenderly  in  the 
face. 

"I  thank  you,  Natalie,"  he  said  simply,  without 
the  customary  prefix,  and  then  dropped  her  hand  and 
walked  on  rather  silently  at  her  side. 

Since  that  episode  Grafton  had  made  no  effort  to 
conceal  his  dislike  of  Lamar.  His  early  prejudice 
had  become  bitter  hatred,  and  he  felt  a  consuming 
desire  to  prove  the  un worthiness  of  his  rival  by 
discovering  something  which  should  reflect  discredit 
upon  his  character. 

It  chanced  that  Grafton  had  a  friend  in  New  York, 
a  young  American  who  had  been  educated  with  him- 
self at  Eton.  Being  aware  of  Dr.  Lamar's  well- 
established  footing  in  his  native  city,  it  appeared 
to  Grafton  possible  that  his  friend  might  be  able 
to  inform  him  of  some  discreditable  facts  regard- 
ing Lamar's  method  of  life  in  America.  He  there- 
fore despatched  a  letter  to  Lawrence  Kockwood, 
in  which  he  mentioned  the  American  physician's 
presence  in  Fordham  in  an  apparently  casual  man- 


DOCTOR   LAMAE.  153 

ner,   and   asked   Rockwood    if    he   were   acquainted 
with  him. 

During  the  time  which  elapsed  before  a  reply 
could  be  received,  Grafton  occupied  himself  with 
maintaining  a  careful  watch  upon  the  rectory. 

The  want  of  the  governing  hand  was  beginning 
to  manifest  itself  in  the  Wyndham  household. 
Natalie  hated  the  detail  of  housekeeping,  and,  it 
must  be  confessed,  neglected  her  duties  shamefully. 
Catherine  was  very  prone  to  take  advantage  of  her 
inexperience,  and,  feeling  outraged  by  the  prolonged 
absence  of  the  real  housekeeper,  revenged  herself 
upon  the  palates  of  the  household. 

The  soup,  nowadays,  was  very  apt  to  be  burned, 
the  joint  overdone,  and  Catherine  found  the  method 
of  making  a  huge  batch  of  tarts  and  serving  them 
day  after  day  for  dessert,  much  easier  than  endeav- 
oring to  vary  the  monotony  of  the  table  by  fresh 
exertions. 

Mutterings  of  discontent  and  discomfort  reached 
Rhea  and  made  her  uneasy  in  London.  She  had 
been  away  now  two  weeks,  and  she  felt  that  her 
presence  was  really  needed  at  home.  To  add  to  her 
anxiety  came  a.  letter  from  Mrs.  Dunstane  conveying 
the  intelligence  of  her  complete  restoration  to  health, 
and  signifying  her  intention  of  setting  Rhea  at  lib- 


154  DOCTOR  LAM  All. 

erty  in  order  that  she  might  return  home,  "for,"  the 
good  lady  added,  "although  Robert  and  your  father 
are  really  sufficient  chaperons,  still,  Ehea  dear,  I 
do  feel  that  Natalie  is  allowed  a  little  too  much 
freedom  with  your  guest,  who  is  a  very  charming 
and  delightful  man,  I  must  confess.  Will  not  people 
soon  begin  to  talk  if  Natalie  is  seen  so  much  in  his 
society  without  your  protection  ?  " 

The  letter  gave  Rhea  a  start,  and  she  felt  as  if  an 
icy  hand  had  been  suddenly  laid  on  her  heart.  Of 
all  possible  contingencies  she  had  regarded  this  least. 
No  one  but  Lamar  had  ever  roused  the  slightest  con- 
ceit in  Rebecca  "VVyndham's  nature ;  but  his  deference 
and  attention  to  herself  had  awakened  in  her  soul 
a  thought  that  perhaps  here  was  the  opportunity 
which  tradition  says  is  afforded  at  least  once  to  every 
•woman  who  lives  to  maturity.  She  had  admired  him 
beyond  any  man  she  had  ever  seen,  and  her  broad, 
generous  spirit  had  gone  out  in  sympathetic  response 
to  an  indefinable  need  that  seemed  shadowed  forth 
in  his  grave  face. 

He  had  appeared  so  congenial  to  her,  so  eminently 
adapted  to  her  age  and  experience,  that  she  had 
grown  to  regard  him  as  especially  related  to  her ; 
and  much  of  the  time  spent  in  Eleanor's  sick-room 
bad  been  occupied  with  thoughts  of  him.  She  should 


DOCTOR   LAMAE.  155 

never  forget  his  exceeding  gentleness  and  tenderness 
with  the  sufferer,  as,  cautiously,  and  with  skilled 
hand,  he  had  examined  her  injuries.  Even  Eleanor 
herself  had  remarked  it,  exclaiming  to  Khea,  as  he 
left  the  room,  — 

"Oh,  Ehea !  what  a  heart  that  man  must  have! 
No  wonder  Robert  loves  him  so ! " 

And  now  it  was  suggested  that  Natalie  had  become 
his  companion,  vice  herself,  deposed  by  absence.  It 
seemed  incredible.  She  could  not  convince  herself 
that  such  might  be  the  case.  It  was  hard  for  her  to 
realize  —  not  being  able  to  arrive  at  a  full  compre- 
hension of  man's  nature  —  that  Lamar  could  crave 
and  enjoy  a  companionship  like  that  which  little 
Natalie's  unsophisticated  nature  could  furnish.  She 
could  not  comprehend  that  love  may  be  wholly  in- 
different to  intellectual  culture,  and  that  passion 
is  stirred  by  more  feminine  qualities  than  those  of 
the  understanding. 

It  was  a  lack  of  this  femininity  which  Laura  Lamar 
had  deplored  in  her  own  nature,  and  which  she  had 
felt  the  impossibility  of  supplying  by  any  of  her 
other  fine  endowments.  It  was  the  atmosphere  of 
exquisite  womanliness  and  dependence  which  envel- 
oped Natalie,  that  captivated  Lamar's  senses  and 
awoke  in  his  heart  a  passion  of  which  he  was  him- 
self scarcely  conscious. 


156  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

Rhea  felt  that  she  must  return.  Her  great,  strong 
heart  ached  with  longing  to  prove  by  personal  obser- 
vation that  gossip  was  wrong;  that  the  possibility 
yet  remained  open  to  her  of  attaining  to  those  royal 
conditions  of  wife  and  motherhood,  which  are  a 
woman's  birthright,  and  which  she  had  hoped  might 
sometime  crown  her  life  with  their  divine  blessings. 

She  wrote  and  despatched  a  note  to  Mrs.  Dunstane 
accepting  her  offer,  and  another  to  Robert,  acquaint- 
ing him  with  her  intention  of  returning  at  once. 
Then  she  sat  down  in  a  low  chair  by  the  window, 
and,  as  twilight  gathered  about  her,  she  drew  her 
Avatch  from  her  bosom,  pressed  the  case  open,  and 
sat  a  long,  long  time  contemplating  the  face  within 
its  cover. 

It  was  a  laughing,  radiant  photograph  of  Natalie, 
taken  before  the  soul  had  come  into  her  eyes.  Joy, 
carelessness,  caprice,  and  roguishness  were  mingled 
in  the  merry  smile ;  and  as  she  dwelt  on  the  childish 
character  of  the  riante  face,  Rhea  answered  the 
merry  glance  Avith  a  low,  amused  laugh  at  the  folly 
of  Mrs.  Dunstane's  suggestion,  and  shook  her  head 
incredulously  at  the  idea  of  mutual  attraction  exist- 
ing between  Philip  Lamar  and  the  original  of  that 
counterfeit  presentment. 


DOCTOR   LAM  Alt.  157 


CHAPTER  IX. 

RHEA  found  Robert  awaiting  her  at  the  Fordham 
station  when  she  alighted  from  the  train  upon  the 
day  fixed  for  her  return,  and,  after  the  usual  greet- 
ings had  been  exchanged  between  them,  the  first 
question  of  the  careful  housekeeper  was,  naturally,  — 

"  Well,  dear,  how  is  everything  at  home  ?  " 

"  Oh,  only  tolerable,  Rhea,"  Robert  replied.  «  To 
tell  you  the  truth,  dear  old  woman,  we  do  miss  you 
sadly.  Admirable  as  Natalie  may  be  in  other  re- 
spects, she  is  wofully  deficient  in  her  present  capa- 
city. Jam  apparently  embraces  her  whole  commis- 
sariat horizon,  and  she  cannot  seem  to  understand 
why  an  unlimited  supply  of  that  article  should  not 
be  an  all-sufficient  diet.  Whenever  her  larder  has 
run  low,  jam  has  nobly  come  to  the  front,  and  I'll 
venture  to  say  that  Lamar  will  forswear  the  article 
for  the  rest  of  his  natural  life.  Oh,  by  the  way, 
Rhea,  he  leaves  us  to-morrow." 

"  Leaves  Fordham  ! "  There  was  great  surprise  in 
the  exclamation,  mingled  with  unmistakable  chagrin. 

"Yes;  he  may  return,  however,  and  finish  out  his 


158  DOCTOR   LAM  All. 

visit  later.  He  has  had  a  letter  from  Paris  urging 
him  to  go  over  and  attend  a  sort  of  congress  of  phy- 
sicians interested  in  the  germ  theory.  You  know  he 
has  made  zymotic  diseases  somewhat  a  specialty,  and 
is  considered  a  very  good  authority  in  the  matter  of 
bacteria." 

"  Oh,  I  am  sorry,  Robert !  I  do  really  regret  hav- 
ing lost  so  much  of  his  visit.  And  you,  too,  you  will 
miss  him  sadly." 

"  Yes ;  but  I  think  I  shall  run  over  a  little  later  and 
join  him  at  Heidelberg.  Then,  if  he  will  come  back 
with  me,  I  shall  bring  him  ;  with  your  permission,  of 
course.  I  am  glad  you  like  Lamar,  Rhea;  and  father, 
too,  seems  to  have  grown  really  fond  of  him.  As 
for  Natalie,  the  child  actually  makes  a  playfellow  of 
him !  It  makes  me  laugh  to  see  how  the  grave  old 
chap  humors  her  caprices,  and  falls  in  with  her 
whims.  I  think  she  has  done  him  an  immense  deal 
of  good." 

The  dark  flush,  which  was  so  unbecoming  to  Miss 
Wyndham's  face,  suffused  it  as  Robert  spoke.  Then 
it  was  true  that  Lamar  enjoyed  little  Natalie's  soci- 
ety !  A  short  sigh  escaped  her  as  she  turned  her  face 
a  little  away,  and  seemed  for  a  few  moments  lost  in 
silent  admiration  of  the  glowing  sunset. 

It  was  a  glorious  sight.     June  had  faded  into  July 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  159 

during  Rhea's  absence,  and  the  whole  land  seemed 
sensuous  with  the  mid-summer  warmth.  The  country- 
side was  teeming  with  its  rich  burden  of  fruit  and 
flower,  and  the  sinking  sun  was  painting  the  land- 
scape with  the  most  vivid  shades  of  Nature's  palette. 
Tn  the  west,  the  great  golden  ball  of  fire  was  slowly 
withdrawing  from  its  daily  course,  bidding  a  glowing 
adieu  to  the  land  its  rays  had  all  the  long  day  held  in 
a  passionate  embrace.  Light,  fleecy  clouds  that 
sailed  close  to  its  gorgeous  presence  caught  the 
reflection  of  its  brilliant  beauty,  and  shed  various 
and  individual  hues  over  the  scene,  their  rays  min- 
gling finally  into  one  grand  harmony  of  color. 

Khea  turned,  presently,  with  a  little  glow  born  of 
the  sunset  and  its  suggestiveness  upon  her  rugged 
features.  She  touched  Robert's  arm  to  draw  his 
attention  to  the  wonderful  picture. 

"See,  dear,"  she  said  softly,  "what  a  magnificent 
spectacle  !  Is  not  the  glory  of  the  sun  almost  sym- 
bolical of  that  of  our  Lord?  See  with  what  radiant 
beauty  it  invests  all  that  conies  within  its  presence. 
All  those  light,  pretty  clouds  that  are  aglow  with  its 
rays,  appear  to  me  like  perfected  spirits  that  have 
become  so  thoroughly  purged  of  the  shadow  of  sin 
that  they  can  fully  receive  the  glory  of  the  Divine 
spirit  and  help  to  spread  its  majesty  abroad  over  the 


160  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

whole  world  by  their  various  acts  of  love  and  charity. 
Look  at  those  darker  clouds  that  stand  farther  off ; 
are  they  not  typical  of  the  unhappy  souls  who  are 
forever  struggling  against  the  sacred  influence  and 
yet,  despite  themselves,  gradually  yielding  to  its 
dominion  ?  Then  below  there,  see  that  stratum  of 
cumuli.  Oh,  Robert,  all  the  long  day  it  has  lain 
there,  dark,  gloomy,  and  forbidding;  holding  within 
itself  the  germs  of  mighty  storms  and  tempests ! 
See !  the  sun  goes  westward,  and  the  clouds  do  not 
rise  to  seek  its  warmth;  it  almost  seems  to  pause 
above  them,  as  if  yearning  to  draw  them  upwards  to 
itself.  Will  it,  perchance,  descend  at  last  within 
their  scope,  or  are  those  wretched,  miserable  souls 
doomed  to  go  into  the  darkness  of  death,  unvivified 
by  that  gentle,  all-powerful  light?" 

She  seemed  so  rapt  in  her  conceit  that  Robert,  too, 
yielded  to  its  infection. 

"No,  they  cannot  attain  to  it,"  he  exclaimed,  as  he 
shook  his  head.  "  See,  Rhea,  they  are  gradually 
moving  away  along  the  horizon.  But  look  !  there  is 
one  that  detaches  itself  from  the  mass  and  seems  to 
be  moving  slowly  upwards." 

"Yes;  and  see  that  bit  of  glowing  cirrus  which 
approaches  it.  They  appear  to  be  drawn  to  each 
other.  Look,  look,  Robert,  the  dark  cloud  begins  to 
catch  the  reflection  !  " 


DOCTOR   LAM  A 11.  161 

"Yes;  but  ah! — the  cirrus  is  losing  a  little  of  its 
radiance  in  proportion  as  the  other  gains.  Poor  thing ! 
poor  thing !  See,  Rhea,  how  opaque  it  is  becoming. 
Now  they  have  nearly  met,  and  the  shadows  from  the 
cloud  are  wrapping  the  poor  little  cirrus  about  —  now 
it  has  lost  its  beauty  entirely  —  what  a  cold,  pale 
thing  it  has  grown !  At  last  they  have  come 
together.  Good-by,  little  cloud;  your  happy  day  is 
over;  the  darkness  of  death  has  encompassed  you!" 

Rhea  smiled  disappointedly. 

"  Too  bad,  wasn't  it  ?  I  had  hopes  for  the  heavy 
cloud.  How  fast  the  sun  is  sinking!  I  think  I'll 
have  that  wrap  about  me,  dear ;  the  tragedy  of 
the  clouds  has  sent  a  chill  to  my  heart,  I  believe." 
She  laughed,  drew  the  shawl  about  her  shoulders, 
and  then  resumed  the  former  subject. 

"  Oh,  Robert !  apropos  of  Natalie,  do  you  think  it 
possible  that  she  and  your  friend  can  be  especially 
interested  in  each  other  ?  " 

Robert  started ;  his  bright,  sunny  face  clouded  for 
a  moment,  and  then  he  burst  into  a  hearty  laugh. 

"  Ha,  ha,  ha !  Rhea,  what  an  absurd  fancy  !  Lamar 
and  Natalie  in  love  with  one  another !  I  would  as 
soon  dream  of  associating  you  and  Dicky  Dunstane. 
Why,  Rhea,  Lamar  is  old  and  staid  enough  in  mind, 
if  not  in  years,  to  be  the  child's  father;  besides 


162  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

which"  —  more  gravely  —  "his  wife  has  not  been 
dead  six  months  yet,  and  he  was  devotedly  attached 
to  her." 

Khea  drew  a  breath  of  relief.  It  was  a  comfort  to 
her  to  have  her  own  hopes  confirmed  by  Robert's 
convictions.  Yet  she  noticed  at  once  the  alteration 
in  Natalie  when  her  eyes  rested  upon  the  girl's  sweet 
face,  upon  which  a  new  look  of  wistful  gravity  had 
settled.  She  divined  at  one  glance,  with  the  intuition 
which  comes  of  deep  affection,  that  a  subtle  change 
had  been  gradually  creeping  over  the  merry,  happy 
spirit ;  that  a  new  thoughtfulness  and  seriousness 
had  deepened  the  expression  of  the  dark  blue  eyes. 

Natalie  had  elected  to  welcome  Rhea  in  the  latter's 
chamber  rather  than  on  the  porch  in  public.  She  had 
waved  a  little  greeting  from  the  window  as  the  car- 
riage approached,  and  a  sudden  choking  had  come 
into  her  throat  at  sight  of  the  dear,  homely  face  she 
loved  so  well. 

The  girl  failed  to  understand  herself  of  late.  She 
did  not  recognize  her  own  light-hearted  self  in  the 
capricious  creature  of  moods,  who  laughed  as  gayly  as 
ever  at  one  moment,  and  the  next  felt  as  if  the  sun 
no  longer  contained  warmth  and  light.  She  was 
genuinely  puzzled  at  her  fitful  spirits.  She  would 
wake  one  morning  gloriously  happy,  and  the  next  an 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  163 

indefinable  depression  would  make  her  its  victim,  and 
she  would  find  the  effort  of  rising  almost  beyond  her 
strength. 

She  had  striven  valiantly  to  fulfil  her  father's 
instructions  and  lead  Lamar  to  the  love  of  God 
through  the  sweetest  ministrations  of  her  own 
fiiendship,  and  she  had  often  made  religion  the  sub- 
ject of  their  tete-a-tetes,  seeking  in  the  most  innocent, 
childlike  way  to  present  to  Lamar  her  notion  of  the 
Divinity  and  of  the  great  after-life,  and  to  win  him 
to  a  belief  and  faith  similar  to  her  own. 

Her  efforts  would  have  been  laughable  to  Lamar  if 
they  had  not  been  so  earnest  and  lovable.  Her  poor 
little  arguments,  based  on  a  pure,  childish  faith  and 
advanced  with  a  wistfulness  that  made  her  appear 
ten  times  more  charming  than  under  other  circum- 
stances, had  but  one  effect  upon  the  confirmed 
agnostic,  and  that  was  to  create  in  him  a  wish  that  he 
might  accept  Christianity  in  her  trustful,  unques- 
tioning spirit,  and  feel  himself  content  with  its 
mysticism,  as  she  did. 

Unfortunately,  against  his  will,  almost  against  his 
consciousness,  he  had  occasionally  been  led  into 
argument  with  her.  Far  indeed  was  it  from  his  wish 
or  intention  to  sow  a  seed  of  doubt  in  her  mind  or 
disturb  what  he  chose  to  call  her  credulity.  She  was 


164  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

wholly  admirable,  he  thought,  in  her  simplicity,  and 
the  very  weakness  of  her  reasoning  was  an  added 
charm  in  his  sight.  Yet,  he  had,  unwittingly,  set  her 
thinking.  His  powerful  mind  was  slowly  gaining 
ascendency  over  hers.  She  no  longer  advanced  her 
pleas  boldly,  strong  in  the  consciousness  of  her  faith. 
Indeed,  she  now  rarely  brought  religion  upon  the 
carpet,  for  though  her  belief  was  as  yet  strong  and 
unwavering,  she  began  to  feel  a  little  troubled  about 
it,  having  awakened  to  a  consciousness  that  it  was 
unsupported  by  the  proof  that  Lamar  apparently 
considered  of  such  vast  importance. 

A  possible  contingency  had,  for  the  first  time  in  her 
life,  occurred  to  her.  What  if  Lamar  should  be  right, 
and  death  be  the  end  of  all ,  things !  She  tried 
resolutely  to  put  the  thought  from  her,  but  it  would 
haunt  her  mind  and  trouble  her  spirit,  making  her 
restless  by  day  and  anxious  and  wakeful  by  night. 
She  would  not  speak  to  her  father  or  Robert  on  the 
subject,  fearing  to  arouse  their  suspicions  of  Lamar ; 
and  she  brooded  over  the  matter  in  her  own  mind 
until  it  was  scarcely  to  be  wondered  at  that  it  wrought 
its  effect  upon  her  sensitive  temperament. 

As  she  felt  Khea's  arms  close  tightly  about  her,  the 
girl  laid  her  head  wearily  upon  her  sister's  broad 
bosom  and  heaved  a  sigh  that  was  almost  a  sob. 


DOCTOR  LAMAK.  165 

Khea  said  nothing,  only  held  her  a  little  closer,  and 
stroked  the  wavy  hair  tenderly  back  from  the  low 
brow,  as  she  had  been  wont  to  do  when  Natalie  was 
a  little  child  ;  while  a  throb  of  anguish  made  her  own 
heart  sick  within  her,  for  a  moment,  in  unwonted 
selfishness  of  regret.  It  was  all  plain  to  her  now,  she 
fancied.  Natalie  did  indeed  love  Lamar,  and  sorrow 
at  his  departure  was  now  grieving  her  sorely. 

Notwithstanding  her  own  suffering,  the  impulse  to 
comfort  and  humor  the  child  was  Rhea's  first  consid- 
eration. She  bent  her  head  and  kissed  the  pretty, 
sad  face. 

"  Don't  fret,  little  one ;  I  know  all  about  it,"  she 
murmured  soothingly ;  "  it  will  all  come  right 
some  day." 

The  assurance,  born  of  misunderstanding  though  it 
was,  poured  balm  on  Natalie's  spirit.  Rhea  was  to 
her  infallible.  She  had  never  questioned  her  judg- 
ment in  any  respect.  She  felt  now  that  Rhea  had  at 
a  glance  read  all  her  worries  and  perplexities,  and 
her  words  of  comfort  seemed  to  imply  that  she  could 
sympathize  with  them  from  a  personal  experience, 
above  which  she  had  risen  victorious. 

Her  old,  bright  expression  came  back  to  her  face, 
and  though  no  further  allusion  was  made  to  the  sub- 
ject, she  went  down  to  dinner  with  such  a  happy, 


166  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

cheery  expression  in  her  eyes  that  it  caused  Rhea  a 
little  surprise  and  Lamar  decided  chagrin.  Was  she 
not  at  all  regretful,  he  wondered,  at  his  departure  ? 

He  had  come  to  the  full  knowledge  of  how  dear 
she  had  grown  to  him,  and  it  was  largely  because  of 
this  realization  that  he  was  leaving  Fordham  for  a 
while.  He  feared  that  he  could  not  remain  much 
longer  in  daily  companionship  with  her  without  be- 
traying himself;  and  respect  for  his  wife's  memory 
made  such  a  proceeding  impossible  at  present.  He 
was  not  at  all  sure  that  Natalie  cared  for  him.  She 
had  seemed  at  first  to  like  him  and  to  enjoy  being 
with  him,  but  of  late  he  could  not  but  recognize  the 
fact  that  his  presence  had  seemed  to  disturb  her,  and 
that  she  was  much  more  light-hearted  and  far  gayer 
alone  or  with  others  than  with  him. 

This  pained  and  perplexed  him,  and  rendered  the 
invitation  from  his  Paris  confreres  more  welcome 
than  had  it  come  some  days  sooner.  He  would  go 
away  for  a  while,  he  thought,  perhaps,  indeed,  return 
to  America  for  six  months  to  prove  both  himself  and 
her.  It  might  be  that  she  had  cast  a  glamour  over 
him  which  absence  would  dispel.  It  was  very  pos- 
sible, too,  that  he  should  return  to  find  her  engaged 
to  Derrick  Grafton,  or  some  other  young  fellow  better 
suited  to  her  age  and  temperament  than  he.  Not- 


DOCTOR  LAMAB.  167 

withstanding  his  present  passion  for  her,  he  could 
almost  bring  himself  to  admit  that  such  would  be  for 
her  greater  happiness.  He  seemed  so  grave,  so  staid, 
so  —  the  word  sceptical  forced  itself  upon  his  con- 
sideration in  this  connection  for  the  first  time  with 
unpleasant  suggestiveness. 

It  had  never  before  occurred  to  him  that  his  agnos- 
tical  views  might  prove  an  insurmountable  barrier  in 
his  suit  for  Natalie.  Would  Mr.  Wyndham,  would 
Robert  even,  permit  him  to  marry  Natalie,  should 
he  be  so  lucky  as  to  win  her  love  ?  Indeed,  would 
the  girl  herself  consent  to  consider  the  offer  of  an 
atheist  ? 

Failure  in  any  undertaking  he  set  himself  to  ac- 
complish had  been  an  exceedingly  rare  experience 
with  Lamar,  and  this  suggestion,  of  the  possibly 
disastrous  consequences  of  his  unorthodox  views, 
roused  all  his  combativeness. 

His  first  wife- had  been  easy  of  winning,  and  he 
was  sufficiently  man  of  the  world  to  appreciate  the 
fact  that  he  was  a  good  parti,  and  would  be  warmly 
welcomed  as  son-in-law  by  most  fathers  with  mar- 
riageable daughters.  For  atheistical  tendencies  have 
become  rather  the  fashion  nowadays,  and  so  agnosti- 
cism be  bound  in  cloth  of  gold,  it  is  rather  interest- 
ing reading  to  worldlings,  and  attractive  to  the  sight 
of  many  a  maiden. 


168  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

But  Lamar  had  noted  the  utter  unvvorldliness  of 
the  inmates  of  Fordham  rectory,  and  had  acquired  a 
very  correct  estimate  of  the  simplicity  of  the  aims 
and  aspirations  which  there  held  sway.  Riches  were 
a  small  factor  in  the  rector's  summing  up  of  life's 
benefits,  while  his  calculations  of  happiness  were 
based  upon  better  security  than  that  of  pounds  and 
pence. 

He  had  probably  never  considered  the  possibility 
of  Natalie's  marrying,  and  still  regarded  her  as  a 
mere  child.  Perhaps,  if  he  ever  gave  the  subject 
a  thought,  it  was  through  the  suggestion  of  Derrick 
Grafton's  very  evident  love  for  her,  which,  it  seemed 
natural  and  proper  to  believe,  might  result  in 
Natalie's  becoming,  as  had  her  mother,  a  clergyman's 
wife. 

Lamar  quite  appreciated  the  fact  that,  should  he 
hope  for  a  successful  issue  to  his  suit,  his  pretensions 
must  be  backed  by  something  other  than  wealth  or 
position ;  that  the  advantages  which  would  recom- 
mend him  to  other  alliances  would  be  held  of  no 
account  in  this.  Yet  he  felt  that  he  had  scored  one 
great  point  in  winning  the  rector's  friendship  and 
confidence.  It  seemed  to  him  that,  being  thus  forti- 
fied, a  confession  of  his  heterodoxy  would  scarcely 
awake  the  same  sensations  of  distrust  and  intolerance 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  1G9 

as  would  very  naturally  greet  a  similar  disclosure 
from  strange  lips. 

The  realization  of  his  love  for  Natalie  had  stolen 
over  him  so  gradually  that  it  had  caused  him  no 
shock  to  awaken  to  the  fact  that  another  woman  had 
usurped  Laura's  place  in  his  heart.  But  was  Natalie 
indeed  a  usurper  ?  Had  any  other  woman,  had  even 
she  who  for  six  happy  years  had  been  his  wife,  ever 
aroused  the  same  emotions  in  him  that  Natalie  had 
awakened  ?  Was  the  calm,  dispassionate  affection 
he  had  felt  for  Laura  in  any  way  akin  to  this  sweet, 
new  tide  of  love  which  had  cast  a  radiance  over  every 
moment  of  this  holiday-time ;  making  of  it  a  season 
of  boyish  delight,  compared  with  which  every  so- 
called  joy  of  his  antecedent  life  paled  into  insignifi- 
cance ?  Could  he  recall  any  instance  of  abandonment 
on  Laura's  part  which  had  caused  him  one  throb  of 
the  exultant  emotion  that  had  surged  through  his 
heart  when  Natalie  laid  her  slender  fingers  in  his  as 
she  came  to  him  over  the  stepping-stones  ? 

Perhaps  it  was  the  altogether  different  temper  of 
his  regard  for  the  two  women  that  prevented  his  feel- 
ing any  sense  of  treason  toward  Laura  in  his  new 
attachment.  She  was  in  no  manner  deposed  by  a 
new  queen ;  her  place  in  his  life  had  been  a  unique 
one,  which  surely  little  Natalie  could  never  fill.  It 


170  DOCTOR   LAMAE. 

had  been  that  of  "guide,  philosopher,  and  friend," 
rather  than  that  of  sweetheart,  mistress,  and  wife. 
Hers  had  been  the  stronger  nature,  and  therefore  she 
had  made  no  demand  upon  his  protection,  had  never 
by  her  feminine  weakness  and  dependence  appealed 
to  that  reserve  fund  of  tenderness  which  lies  at  the 
bottom  of  every  truly  manly  heart.  Let  a  woman 
but  once  create  a  demand  upon  this  superior  mascu- 
line strength,  and  she  establishes  for  herself  a  claim 
upon  the  man's  interest  which  is  rarely  unheeded. 

Perhaps  Dr.  Lamar  had  never  come  so  near  really 
loving  his  wife  as  during  the  last  period  of  her  ill- 
ness, when  suffering  and  endurance  had  bent  her 
strong  spirit  a  little.  But  even  then,  save  in  that 
one  supreme  moment  when  she  had  demanded  her 
release  from  him,  she  had  found  strength  within  her- 
self to  render  her  independent  of  his  aid. 

Lamar  could  not  remember  that  he  had  ever 
thrilled  at  look  or  touch  of  hers  ;  yet  a  shy,  sweet 
glance  from  under  the  wide  fringe  of  Natalie's  lids 
would  send  a  tender  warmth  through  his  whole 
strong  body,  while  did  her  hand  brush,  like  a  butter- 
fly's wing,  even  the  hem  of  his  garment,  its  touch 
aroused  in  him  a  wild  desire  to  catch  and  imprison  it 
forever  within  his  own  broad  clasp. 

These  sensations  were  all  so  novel  that   he   dis- 


DOCTOR  LAMAE,  171 

trusted  them,  and  it  was  mainly  this  distrust  thajb 
was  urging  him  to  prove  their  worth  by  absence.  He 
had  heard  of  midsummer  madness,  and  was  a  little 
prone  to  believe  himself  its  victim.  Separation  from 
the  enchantress  who  had  bewitched  his  sober  senses, 
and  resumed  application  to  the  grim  materialities  of 
life,  might  and  probably  would  work  a  speedy  cure 
of  his  temporary  aberration.  But  a  stubborn  deter- 
mination underlaid  this  wise  intention  of  departure, 
and  perhaps  gave  him  courage  to  fulfil  it ;  namely, 
if,  at  the  end  of  a  sufficiently  prolonged  season,  he 
still  felt  the  spell  of  Natalie's  influence,  and  was  con- 
vinced of  its  continued  duration,  he  would  return  to 
Fordham  and  learn  from  her  own  lips  whether  she 
would  merge  her  existence  in  his. 

Then,  if  she  said  ay  to  his  suit,  not  all  the  powers 
of  light  or  darkness,  not  all  the  objections  or  nega- 
tives of  friends,  parents,  or  relatives,  should  prevent 
him  from  winning  and  wearing  the  precious  gift  of 
her  life. 

Some  of  these  thoughts  had  crowded  into  his  mind 
as  he  sat  in  one  of  the  deep,  comfortable  lounging- 
chairs  in  the  sitting-room  after  dinner  on  that  last 
evening  of  his  visit,  and  watched  the  dim  outlines 
of  the  girl's  figure  as  she  sat  and  strummed  vaguely 
on  the  little  piano. 


172  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

.  The  room  was  illumined  only  by  the  late  twilight, 
dusk  being  well  beloved  by  the  innocent  souls  at  the 
rectory  —  guilt  and  sin,  they  say,  cannot  abide  the 
gloaming.  The  rector  had  fallen  asleep  on  one  of 
the  broad  window-seats,  and  at  the  far  end  of  the 
room  Rhea  and  Robert  were  discussing,  in  low, 
hushed  tones,  which  should  not  disturb  Natalie's 
fitful  playing,  Eleanor's  condition  and  the  probable 
date  of  her  return  to  Melbury  —  for  it  had  been 
decided  that  she  should  be  moved  to  her  own  home 
as  soon  as  her  injuries  would  permit. 

The  comfort  of  Rhea's  presence  had  warmed 
Natalie's  spirits  into  a  jubilant  mood,  quite  akin  to 
her  former  happy  joyousness.  She  had  been  carol- 
ling forth  all  the  bright,  optimistic  ballads  of  her 
repertoire,  with  a  light-heartedness  that  had  been  a 
rather  foreign  element  of  late  in  her  singing.  After 
a  little  she  paused  and  dropped  her  hands  from  the 
keyboard  into  her  lap,  and  sat  for  a  while  perfectly 
motionless,  as  if  rapt  in  thought. 

The  piano  faced  the  west,  and  what  little  lingering 
light  yet  remained  of  the  day  stole  through  an 
opposite  window  and  touched  the  girl's  face  with  a 
soft,  shadowy  glow.  She  apparently  had  become 
oblivious  of  her  audience  and  was  lost  in  her  own 
reflections,  which,  it  pained  Lamar  to  observe,  seemed 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  173 

to  be  quite  independent  of  him  or  his  departure. 
The  little  knots,  which  of  late  had  wrinkled  the  fair 
brow,  had  smoothed  themselves  out,  and  the  old 
tranquillity  had  settled  again  on  the  sweet  features. 
Lainar  sought  diligently  to  discover  a  trace  of  sad- 
ness which  should  be  a  sign  to  him  that  his  own 
regrets  at  leaving  were  shared  even  slightly  by  her. 
But  none  such  were  evident  on  the  unruffled  surface 
of  her  face. 

The  room  was  very  still.  Rhea  and  her  brother 
had  moved  out  of  the  glass  doors  into  the  garden, 
and  the  rector  still  slumbered  on.  Suddenly,  a  soft, 
tender  light  came  into  Natalie's  eyes ;  she  lifted  her 
hands,  placed  them  again  on  the  keyboard,  and  struck 
a  few  chords.  Then  through  the  shadows  of  the 
silent  room  stole  her  rich,  low  voice,  weighted  with 
the  melodious  description  of  the  Divine  agony. 

"  There  is  a  green  hill  far  away,"  she  sang  to  the 
beautiful  air  with  which  Gounod  has  so  richly  clothed 
the  wondrous  story. 

A  new  realization  of  the  exquisite  beauty  of  the 
Christian  legend  came  to  Lamar  as  he  sat  and  lis- 
tened. It  so  happened  that  he  had  never  heard 
either  words  or  melody  before,  being  no  church-goer, 
and  he  felt  touched  and  moved  by  the  reverent  sim- 
plicity with  which  the  story  of  the  Atonement  was 


174  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

told.  Perhaps  Natalie  had  never  before  sung  with 
such  power  or  emotion.  Her  pure  faith  in  the  Sav- 
iour had  received  its  first  rude  shock,  and  her  heart 
had  been  sore  and  troubled  within  her.  She  had  not 
arrived  at  a  stage  of  doubtfulness,  and  would  have 
regarded  such  a  contingency  with  horror ;  but  it  had 
been  a  new  revelation  to  her  that  irreverent  hands 
could  lay  their  desecrating  touch  upon  her  images, 
and  she  had  been  fearful  of  discerning  a  smirch 
upon  their  pure  beauty,  left  by  the  contact  of  unclean 
fingers. 

Rhea  had  reassured  her  upon  this  point,  and  she 
felt  a  need  of  expressing  to  Lamar,  as  earnestly  as 
possible,  how  dear  and  precious  to  her  were  the  idols 
he  contemned.  So  she  threw  a  passion  and  warmth 
into  her  voice,  which  aroused  in  her  listener  a  desire 
that  he,  too,  might  believe  in  the  beautiful  story  of 
the  Divine  sacrifice. 

A  sense  of  exclusion  from  the  heritage  of  his  kind 
awoke  within  him,  and  when  the  little  household 
gathered  in  the  rector's  study,  an  hour  later,  for 
evening  prayers,  although,  out  of  deference  to  his 
host  he  had  never  failed  in  attendance  at  the  daily 
devotions,  he  for  the  first  time  felt  the  consciousness 
of  intellectual  superiority,  bred  of  his  spiritual  eman- 
cipation overshadowed  by  a  paiuful  sensation  of  alien- 


DOCTOR  LAMAlt.  175 

ation,  —  a  feeling  that  he  was  standing,  a  hopeless 
outcast,  a  Pariah  of  his  own  creating,  beyond  the 
threshold  of  the  mansion  of  peace  and  happiness, 
within  whose  portals  were  included  the  masses  of 
humanity. 

The  next  morning  he  left  Fordham.  Ehea's  fare- 
well was  far  warmer  than  Natalie's ;  and  Lamar  felt 
annoyed  by  a  harassing  conviction  that  the  latter 
would  be  distinctly  relieved  when  he  got  fairly  away. 
He  had  seen  her  alone  but  for  a  brief  moment  before 
his  departure,  and  that  was  before  breakfast  in  the 
garden,  having  hastened  his  toilet  preparations  that 
he  might  entrap  her  there. 

"Miss  Natalie,"  he  said  after  the  morning  greet- 
ings had  been  exchanged  between  them,  "  I  may  not 
come  back  again.  You  know  there  is  a  wise  saying 
to  the  effect  that  doubtful  things  are  uncertain." 

She  laughed,  but  looked  a  little  startled  never- 
theless. 

"Oh,  but  you  will  come,"  she  protested.  "You 
have  promised,  you  know  ! " 

"Yes,"  he  replied;  "with  reservations.  If  is  a 
hurdle  that  wishes  cannot  always  overleap.  I  shall 
come  if  possible.  In  case  I  never  see  Fordham  again, 
however,  there  is  one  souvenir  which  would  always 
be  a  talisman  to  awake  rny  tenderest  memories  of  it ; 


176  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

it  is  one  of  your  sweetbrier  roses.  Will  you  give  it 
to  me?" 

She  flushed  a  little,  more  perhaps  by  reason  of  the 
real  emotion  that  thrilled  in  his  words  than  from  the 
words  themselves.  His  heart  throbbed  a  little  faster 
as  he  felt  her  fingers  tremble  when  he  took  the  rose- 
bud from  them ;  and  the  flush  deepened  as  he  stooped 
and  pressed  his  lips  to  the  pretty  palm. 

But  she  gave  no  other  than  this  doubtful  sign  that 
his  going  affected  her;  and,  as  the  dog-cart  turned 
out  of  the  rectory  gates,  his  last  glimpse  of  her  was 
of  a  smiling,  untroubled  face,  upturned  to  the  rector's 
fond  gaze,  as  the  two  strolled,  with  intertwined  arms, 
down  the  gravelled  slope. 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  177 


CHAPTER  X. 

LIFE  at  the  rectory  apparently  pursued  its  ordinary 
course  after  the  departure  of  Lamar.  I  say  appar- 
ently, for  in  reality  a  subtle  change  had  been  wrought 
in  the  even  and  somewhat  monotonous  tenor  of  its 
flow,  that  made  of  existence  an  altogether  different 
thing  than  it  had  hitherto  appeared  to  be. 

Its  effect  was  most  evident  in  Natalie,  and  reacted 
in  greater  or  less  degree  on  all  who  came  in  imme- 
diate contact  with  her.  Naturally,  Rhea,  who  had 
been  the  girl's  confidante  from  her  infancy,  fell  most 
largely  under  the  shadow  of  the  new  and  unaccus- 
tomed reservation  which  withheld  the  free  inter- 
change of  thought  and  sentiment.  Hitherto  Natalie's 
confidences  had  vented  themselves  as  spontaneously 
as  the  tide  of  melody  which  gushes  from  the  trilling 
throat  of  a  warbler. 

It  is  strange  how  certain  previously  frank,  impul- 
sive natures,  finding  themselves  all  at  once  put  upon 
their  guard,  may  of  a  sudden  invest  their  bearing 
with  a  simple  dignity  which  precludes  all  attempts 
to  surprise  their  confidence.  So  it  was  with  Natalie. 


178  DOCTOR  LAMAU. 

Perfectly  communicative  as  she  had  ever  been  with 
Rhea,  the  latter  now  felt  that  she  was  separated  from 
her  sister's  heart  by  a  fine,  impalpable  network 
which,  while  it  gave  her  no  opportunity  to  grasp  and 
analyze  it,  yet  was  as  potent  a  barrier  of  reserve  as  if 
it  had  been  an  armor  of  steel. 

Rhea  could  not  discover  what  had  brought  about 
this  change.  Having  been  prepared  to  find  evidences 
that  Cupid  had  been  working  mischief  in  the  girl's 
heart,  she  was,  as  we  have  seen,  prone  to  attribute 
Natalie's  altered  demeanor  to  the  little  god's  handi- 
work ;  but  closer  observation  failed  to  detect  evidence 
corroborative  of  this  conclusion.  Indeed,  the  girl's 
obvious  relief  at  Lamar's  departure  differed  so  widely 
from  Rhea's  own  sensations  of  regret  and  despon- 
dency, that  it  was  impossible  to  believe  that  Natalie 
could  really  be  the  victim  of  a  tender  attachment 
to  him. 

She  spoke  his  name  as  she  spoke  Robert's,  without 
blush  or  special  intonation,  and  made  public  her 
admiration  and  friendship  for  him  with  a  total  lack 
of  consciousness  which  proved  the  absence  of  any 
deeper  emotion  in  her  regard  for  him.  If  Rhea  had 
been  called  upon  to  define  the  change  she  noticed  in 
the  girl,  she  would  in  all  likelihood  have  replied  that 
Natalie  had  grown  more  serious  and  womanly ;  that 


DOCTOR  LA  MAR.  179 

some  unknown  crisis  of  development  had  taken  place 
within  her,  working  its  inevitable  result  of  maturity. 
And  such  was  indeed  the  fact. 

The  great  problem  of  immortality  had  of  a  sudden 
been  set,  in  its  material  aspect,  before  the  girl's  senti- 
mental vision,  and  she  had  awakened  to  the  fact  that 
no  one  could  solve  it  to  her  own  satisfaction  but  her- 
self. The  vastness  of  the  subject  discouraged  her. 
She  felt  much  as  a  new-born  kitten  must  feel  who, 
having  lived  for  nine  days  with  closed  eyelids  pas- 
sively accepting  the  fact  of  existence  and  throwing 
upon  its  mother  the  charge  and  maintenance  of  its 
life,  suddenly  opens  its  vision  upon  the  realities  of 
the  world.  She  was  confused  and  overwhelmed  by 
the  consciousness  that  she  was  a  free  agent ;  that 
never  again  should  she  be  content  to  let  others  do 
her  thinking  for  her. 

Rhea  had  indeed  been  mistaken  in  her  surmise. 
"Whether  or  no  Lainar  had  incidentally  awakened  the 
girlish  heart,  it  was  the  intellect  which  had  chiefly 
responded  to  his  influence.  He  had  found  it  dor- 
mant ;  he  had  left  it  struggling  into  consciousness. 

Rhea's  suspicions  were  quite  allayed  by  the  new 
occupation  Natalie  had  set  herself,  and  which  sug- 
gested a  welcome  idea  in  favor  of  Derrick  Grafton. 
It  was  nowadays  no  uncommon  thing  to  discover  the 


180  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

girl  poring  earnestly  over  some  huge  theological 
tome.  That  the  weight  of  the  book  and  its  subject 
proved  too  great  for  her  physical  and  mental  strength 
was  often  evinced  by  the  fact  that  slumber  frequently 
overtook  the  lovely  student  in  the  midst  of  her  re- 
searches. 

But  one  day  Rhea  made  a  chance  discovery  which 
startled  her.  She  found  Natalie  curled  up  on  one  of 
the  broad  window-seats  sound  asleep,  with  her  head 
resting  on  Kenan's  "Life  of  Jesus."  She  cautiously 
abstracted  the  volume  and  bore  it  off  to  the  study, 
where,  with  a  look  of  horror  in  her  eyes,  she  held  it 
out  to  her  father. 

"See,  papa,"  she  said  in  a  frightened  voice,  "I 
have  just  stolen  this  from  under  Natalie's  head.  Is 
it  well,  do  you  think,  for  the  child  to  have  such  free 
admission  to  your  library  ?  " 

The  rector  received  the  book  with  a  show  of  sur- 
prise, unmixed,  however,  with  Khea's  more  lively 
emotion  of  fright. 

"  Little  Natalie  reading  Kenan !  "  he  exclaimed. 
"  Well,  this  is  a  revelation,  truly !  Yet,  Rhea,  I  do 
not  think  I  would  forbid  it.  I  would  not  give  a  fig 
for  a  prescribed  line  of  thought  in  religious  matters." 

"No  ;  but  you  certainly  must  approve  of  a  directed 
one,  papa.  Is  it  not  positively  dangerous  to  allow  an 


DOCTOli  LAMAR.  181 

intellectual  infant  like  Natalie  to  feed  as  she  will 
on  dishes  difficult  of  digestion  to  even  maturer 
palates  ?  " 

"  Hm  !  Well,  yes  —  perhaps  you  are  right,  my 
Rhea.  But  you  know  I  am  broader  in  my  views  than 
many  of  my  brethren.  I  am  not  anxious  to  see  my 
children  adhere  too  closely  to  the  prejudices  and 
intolerances  which  I  feel  are  such  an  injury  to  our 
Church.  Kobert  is  far  too  illiberal,  you  know,  for 
my  fancy.  Christianity,  my  dear,  should  be,  I  feel, 
a  broad  and  generous  mantle  to  envelop  all  the  mem- 
bers of  Christ's  body,  not  a  short,  narrow  waistcoat 
for  a  single  portion  to  hug  itself  in.  No,  no,  Rhea ; 
let  the  child  browse  as  she  will  among  my  shelves  ; 
there  is  nothing  there  to  do  her  positive  injury,  and 
I'll  trust  to  the  natural  spirituality  of  her  sweet 
little  soul  to  keep  her  in  the  right  path." 

Derrick  Grafton  came  frequently  to  the  rectory 
after  Lamar  left,  urged  thereto  by  Natalie's  tacit 
encouragement.  The  American's  departure  had  lifted 
a  weight  off  his  mind,  and  the  relief  he  felt  in  his 
absence,  together  with  Natalie's  more  complaisant 
humor  toward  himself,  gave  him  cause  for  renewed 
hopefulness,  which  reflected  itself  in  his  bearing  and 
showed  him  in  a  greatly  improved  light. 

He  was  far  from  dreaming  that  Natalie's  tolerance 


182  DOCTOR   LAM  All. 

of  his  society  arose  chiefly  from  the  opportunity  she 
thus  acquired  of  discussing  the  questions  which  were 
so  perplexing  her.  He  noted  the  unusual  turn  their 
conversations  now  took,  and  was  charmed  and  de- 
lighted with  the  interest  she  evinced  in  a  subject 
which  he  considered  of  such  vital  importance. 

It  was  scarcely  to  be  wondered  at  that  he  drew  a 
conclusion  flattering  to  his  own  hopes  from  this ;  and 
he  was  so  gentle  and  patient  with  all  her  questions 
and  arguments,  —  generally  a  modified  repetition  of 
those  advanced  by  Lamar,  —  that  Natalie  for  the  first 
time  in  her  life  found  it  impossible  to  quarrel  with 
him,  and  began  to  regard  the  handsome  young  fellow 
with  real  affection  and  gratitude. 

Lamar  had  been  gone  about  ten  days,  when  Natalie 
returned  from  a  ride  over  to  Melbury,  one  afternoon, 
with  tidings  to  the  effect  that  Eleanor  was  to  be 
brought  home  from  London  on  the  following  day. 
Robert  was  away  from  home,  having  gone  to  make 
arrangements  for  his  installation  in  the  living  with 
which  he  had  been  presented. 

On  his  return,  a  couple  of  days  later,  he  learned 
that  the  move  had  been  made,  and  that  Eleanor  was 
settled  again  at  home,  having  borne  the  journey  well. 
The  next  day  he  felt  impelled  to  ride  over  to  Mel- 
bury,  hoping  that  fortune  would  grant  him  a  glimpse 


DOCTOR   LAM  All.  183 

of  her,  but  desirous  at  least  of  learning  from  reliable 
sources  just  how  she  was. 

He  had  neither  seen  nor  spoken  to  her  since  that 
awful  day  in  London,  and  his  heart  ached  for  a  sight 
of  her  beautiful  face.  His  question  regarding  Lord 
Parker  had  never  been  authoritatively  replied  to,  and 
though  rumor  and  even  his  lordship  himself  implied 
that  congratulations  upon  Eleanor's  complete  restora- 
tion to  health  might  be  joint  affairs  with  those  which 
the  announcement  of  her  engagement  should  call 
forth,  Kobert  resolutely  gave  the  report  the  lie  until 
it  should  be  confirmed  by  Eleanor's  own  lips. 

His  eyes,  whose  bright,  happy  expression  had  been 
somewhat  clouded  ever  since  that  terrible  afternoon 
in  London,  for  the  first  time  lost  their  shadowy  appre- 
hensiveness,  and  gladdened  into  real  joyousness,  as, 
unannounced,  he  entered  the  comfortable,  rather 
shabby  drawing-room  at  Dunstane  Hall,  and  saw  a 
lounge  drawn  up  to  the  open  window,  with  a  slender, 
delicately  draped  figure  lying  upon  it. 

The  afternoon  had  been  very  warm,  and  the  exer- 
tion of  coming  down-stairs  had  so  wearied  the  invalid 
that  she  had  fallen  into  a  light  doze.  There  was  but 
one  other  occupant  of  the  room,  Dicky,  Eleanor's 
sixteen-year-old  brother,  who  sat  at  the  head  of  the 
couch,  waving  off  the  flies  with  a  huge  palm-leaf. 


184  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Eleanor  was  the  lad's  idol ;  and  though  the  con- 
stant, monotonous  motion  had  somewhat  fatigued 
him,  he  never  ceased  to  ply  the  fan  as  regularly  as 
if  he  had  been  an  automaton.  As  Robert  appeared 
upon  the  scene,  the  boy  raised  a  warning  hand,  and 
formed  a  cautioning  hush  with  his  lips. 

Robert's  tread,  like  that  of  many  large  men,  was 
naturally  light,  and,  when  occasion  required,  could 
be  noiseless  as  that  of  a  cat.  Now  he  crossed  the 
room  so  silently  that  the  sleeper  never  stirred,  and, 
bending  his  head  in  response  to  Dicky's  motion, 
received  the  following  request :  — 

"  I  say,  Robert,  take  my  place,  will  you,  a  moment  ? 
Georgie's  going  to  ride  into  town,  and  I  want  to  tell 
her  to  get  some  tennis-balls  ?  I  won't  be  long." 

"  All  right,  my  lad !     Don't  hurry  ! " 

Nor  did  he.  Notwithstanding  his  devotion  to 
Eleanor,  the  seductions  of  tennis  were  potent  to 
tempt  him  into  relinquishing  his  duty  'into  other 
hands ;  and  perhaps  a  consciousness  that  those  hands 
would  be  more  faithful  than  his  own  in  fulfilling  this 
special  office  persuaded  him  into  a  desertion  that 
lasted  until  Robert's  appearance  reminded  him  of 
his  neglect.  The  terrible  haggardness  of  the  man's 
face  appealed  to  the  lad's  sympathies,  and  filled  him 
with  self-reproach. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  185 

"Oh,  I  say,  Robert!"  he  exclaimed  impulsively, 
"  but  you  do  look  horribly  done  up !  It  was  a 
beastly  shame  in  me  to  keep  you  shut  up  in  that 
sweltering  room  so  long.  Has  Nell  been  asleep  all 
this  time  ?  " 

Robert  shook  his  head  and  answered  briefly  in  the 
negative.  Speech  was  not  easy  to  him  just  then. 
He  looked  worn,  harassed,  and  stern.  Dicky  felt 
almost  afraid  of  him,  and  yet  there  was  that  in  his 
face  that  aroused  the  boy's  sympathy.  It  seemed 
as  if  he  had  aged  ten  years  since  he  left  him  sitting 
by  Eleanor's  couch  in  the  darkened  drawing-room. 

And  as  Robert  Wyndham  rode  back  to  the  rectory 
in  the  summer  gloaming,  it  seemed  to  him,  too,  as  if 
he  were  a  far  older,  more  worldly  wise,  and  a  hun- 
dred-fold more  miserable  man  than  he  who  had 
traversed  the  same  path  an  hour  or  so  ago.  "  Hope 
deferred  maketh  the  heart  sick,"  but  hope  denied 
maketh  the  heart  desperate. 

Such  a  look  of  glad  welcome,  yes,  of  love,  even  — 
he  could  have  sworn  it  to  be  —  had  come  into 
Eleanor  Dunstane's  eyes,  as,  after  a  few  moments' 
longer  slumber,  they  at  last  unclosed  and  rested  upon 
his  face,  that  all  the  careful  restraint  he  had  deter- 
mined to  impose  upon  himself  until  she  should  be 
wholly  recovered,  melted  into  thin  air.  Her  great 


186  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

personal  loveliness,  rendered  almost  ethereal  by  suf- 
fering ;  her  perfect  symmetry  of  form  and  feature ; 
all  the  sweet,  gracious  charms  of  her  exquisite 
beauty  had  been  working  their  due  effect  upon  him 
as  he  sat  and  watched  her  in  her  unconsciousness. 

His  heart  had  grown  wild  and  mutinous  with 
baffled  love  and  longing,  and,  as  she  turned  her 
tender,  surprised  look  upon  him,  his  prudent  resolves 
were  utterly  routed,  and  with  a  short,  sharp  exclama- 
tion of  joy  he  pushed  his  chair  back  and  fell  on  his 
knees  beside  the  couch,  that  he  might  thus  bring 
himself  more  on  a  level  with  her. 

"  Eleanor,  my  darling  !  thank  God,  thank  God  ! " 
he  cried,  gazing  eagerly  into  her  eyes,  as  if  to  drink 
his  fill  of  that  wonderful  love-look  that  he  had 
surprised  in  them. 

Not  the  slightest  suggestion  of  other  suitors  in- 
truded itself  upon  his  joy.  Report,  rumor,  gossip, — 
all  were  done  to  death  by  that  radiant  glance  which 
met  his.  No  word  or  protestation  was  needed  to 
convince  him  whom  Eleanor  Dunstane  would  wed. 
She  had  given  herself  to  him,  he  felt,  by  that  one 
look,  and  with  the  assurance  bred  of  its  abandon,  he 
bent  his  head  that  her  lips  might  add  their  testimony 
to  that  of  her  eyes. 

But  a  motion,  a  mere    movement,  restrained  him. 


DOCTOR  LAM  AIL  187 

A  deadly  pallor  had  suddenly  whitened  Eleanor's 
face  to  the  very  lips,  and,  as  the  light  faded  from 
her  glance,  she  turned  her  head  gently  but  decidedly 
on  the  pillow,  thus  negativing  his  purpose,  and 
bringing  a  blank  look  of  perplexity  to  his  face.  He 
rose  to  his  feet  and  accosted  her  gently  and  tenderly, 
as  one  does  a  fractious  child  who  is  difficult  of 
comprehension. 

"  My  dear  one,"  he  said,  "  what  is  it  ?  Are  you 
tired,  or  too  weak  yet  to  bear  the  joy  that  is  cours- 
ing like  new  wine  through  my  veins  ?  Are  you 
tired  ?  Shall  I  change  your  pillows  ?  or  are  you 
suffering,  perhaps  ?  " 

She  shook  her  head,  paused  a  moment,  and  then 
lifted  her  hands  and  drew  from  one  a  beautiful  ring, 
composed  of  three  large  pearls,  and,  still  without 
speaking,  laid  it  in  his  hand. 

For  an  instant  the  significance  of  the  bauble  did 
not  dawn  upon  him,  and  not  until  he  had  raised  the 
hoop  and  read  the  inscription  within  its  slender 
band,  did  he  appreciate  its  vast,  terrible  meaning; 
then  he  dropped  it  as  if  it  had  been  some  noxious 
thing,  and  the  little  circlet  fell  with  a  dull  thud  to 
the  floor  and  rolled  into  a  dark  corner  beneath  the 
couch.  The  veins  stood  out  on  the  man's  smooth, 
broad  brow  as  he  bent  his  tall  frame  low  down  over 


188  DOCTOR  LAM AR. 

the  girl's  prostrate  form  and  looked  sternly  into  her 
white,  quivering  face. 

"  What  does  this  mean  ? "  he  asked  roughly. 
"  You  shall  not  evade  a  direct  reply  this  time ;  once 
before  you  did  so  at  the  risk  of  your  life,  —  a  life 
which  I  saved,  but  which  I  could  almost  find  it  in 
my  heart  to  wish  had  been  abandoned  to  its  fate 
rather  than  to  have  been  preserved  to  a  future  of 
falsehood  and  unworthiness.  Eleanor  Dunstane,  you 
love  me ;  your  look  a  moment  ago  confessed  it,  and 
you  belong  to  me  in  the  sight  of  God.  By  what 
right  do  you  dishonor  your  love  and  soil  your 
womanly  purity  by  marrying  a  man  whom  you 
neither  love  nor  respect  ?  Tell  me  ;  I  will  know  !  " 

She  sought  the  refuge  open  to  all  women,  and 
burst  into  a  flood  of  hysterical  tears.  She  was  still 
weak,  and  physical  suffering  had  broken  her  spirit. 
But  Robert  was  not  minded  to  let  her  escape  thus 
easily.  His  pain  and  despair  were  too  powerful 
to  be  vanquished  by  an  emotional  subterfuge. 

"Eleanor,  I  will  not  leave  this  house  until  I  have 
your  answer  in  words.  Are  you  really  determined 
to  marry  that  man  ?  " 

She  sobbed  forth  a  tremulous  "  Yes." 

"  You  do  it  of  your  own  free-will,  uninfluenced  by 
the  wishes  of  others  ?  " 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  189 

She  shook  her  head,  and  a  gleam  of  hope  came 
into  Eobert's  face. 

"  You  do  not  ?  "  he  cried  triumphantly.  "  I  knew 
it ;  I  was  sure  of  it ! " 

Once  more  he  knelt  at  her  side,  and  tenderly  drew 
her  hands  from  her  eyes  as  his  voice  broke  into 
urgent  pleading. 

"It  is  your  aunt  who  has  urged  you  into  this  act 
of  unworthiness.  Oh,  Eleanor  !  my  darling !  You 
will  riot  persist  in  it  and  break  your  heart  and  my 
own !  Give  me  leave  to  take  this  ring  back  to 
London,  and  bid  Mrs.  Mansfield  return  it  to  Lord 
Parker.  Will  you  do  this  ?  Say  yes,  my  beloved." 

A  little  shudder  passed  over  the  girl's  figure ;  evi- 
dently a  struggle  was  going  on  within  her.  She  had 
ceased  weeping,  though  the  traces  of  tears  were  still 
wet  on  her  face.  She  did  not  again  meet  Kobert's 
eyes,  but  turned  her  gaze  out  of  the  window  upon  the 
terrace,  and  lay  quite  still  a  few  moments.  The 
room  was  utterly  silent,  so  silent  that  the  heavy 
breathing  of  the  man  sounded  almost  harsh  and 
discordant. 

His  eyes  never  for  an  instant  forsook  the  pale, 
lovely  face  whose  profile  alone  was  visible  to  him. 
One  looking  at  him  would  scarcely  have  recognized 
jovial,  -  good-natured  Robert  Wyndham  in  the  pas- 


190  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

sionate,  pleading  face  from  which  the  buoyant 
youthfulness  was  momentarily  fading,  never  again 
to  return. 

As  Eleanor  Dunstane  lay  there  gazing  out  into  the 
familiar  park,  it  was  no  peaceful  scene  of  verdant 
country  beauty  that  her  mind  rested  upon.  It  was 
a  panorama  of  past  events,  of  earlier  experiences  and 
healthier  joys,  in  all  of  which  Robert.  Wyndham 
had  borne  a  share,  that  moved  with  panorama-like 
rapidity  across  her  mental  vision.  The  whole  simple 
little  comedy  of  her  childhood  and  youth  enacted 
itself  before  her,  with  Robert  as  its  hero. 

She  rehearsed  the  scene  in  which  she  had  pleaded 
with  him  to  renounce  his  wish  to  enter  the  ministry, 
and  recalled  the  jealous  anger  with  which  she  had 
recognized  the  fact  that  his  heart  acknowledged  a 
higher  allegiance  than  that  which  she  commanded. 
She  remembered  her  London  triumphs,  and  her 
pleasure  in  her  social  successes ;  and  though  the  air 
was  even  now  vibrating  with  the  passionate  tones  of 
the  man  whom  she  alone  could  love  as  a  husband, 
yet  so  strong  a  hold  had  worldly  pleasures  gained 
upon  her,  that,  even  in  this  supreme  moment,  she 
placed  them,  with  her  own  hand,  —  whose  grasp,  it 
is  true,  was  trembling  and  weak  with  regreb  and 
agitation,  —  in  the  balance  against  love. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  191 

Mrs.  Mansfield  had  schooled  her  well ;  the  plead- 
ings of  her  father  and  mother  had  fallen  on 
well-prepared  soil ;  her  natural  inclinations  for  the 
flesh-pots  of  Egypt  were  fortified  by  the  flattering 
conviction  that  she  was  offering  herself  up  as  a 
sacrifice  upon  the  altar  of  family  affection. 

• 

She  had  not  accepted  Lord  Parker  without  a 
struggle  with  her  better  nature,  but  —  she  had 
accepted  him.  The  arguments  that  Eobert  was 
urging  were  no  new  view  of  the  case ;  she  had 
already  presented  them  to  herself,  and,  having  set- 
tled the  matter  once  for  all  in  her  own  mind,  she 
was  impatient  that  it  should  be  again  offered  for  her 
consideration.  She  had  hoped  to  be  spared  a  per- 
sonal confession  to  Kobert  of  her  treasonable  con- 
duct, and  his  pleadings  and  reproaches  —  which, 
alas  !  her  own  heart  echoed  —  were  terribly  hard  to 
bear.  For  she  loved  him,  and  the  temptation  to 
throw  prudential  considerations  to  the  winds,  and 
tell  him  so,  was  difficult  to  combat. 

If  he  only  had  not  entered  the  ministry  !  There 
was  the  great  stumbling-block,  after  all !  For  a 
clergyman's  wife  she  possessed  no  qualifications. 
Had  Kobert  remained  in  the  Foreign  Office,  proba- 
bly Lord  Parker's  suit  would  have  fared  badly,  for 
the  Wyndham  relatives  were  sufficiently  influential 


192  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

to  have  procured  his  rapid  advancement,  and  Eleanor 
would  have  found  her  ambition  very  fairly  satisfied 
as  his  wife. 

The  mind,  on  occasions,  works  quickly,  and  a 
minute  amply  sufficed  for  these  considerations  to 
pass  through  Eleanor's  brain,  followed  by  the  final 
conclusion  that,  notwithstanding  the  pain  her  con- 
duct must  inflict  upon  both  Robert  and  herself, 
her  decision  must  be  adhered  to.  She  drew  a  long 
sigh  —  a  brief  requiem  to  departed  desires  —  and 
turned  to  Robert. 

"Bob,"  she  said,  using  her  childish  nickname  for 
him,  "  I  cannot  commission  you  to  return  Lord 
Parker's  ring,  for  I  am  going  to  marry  him.  I  have 
weighed  all  the  consequences  of  marrying  a  man 
whom  I  do  not  love,  and  feel  that  I  have  a  better 
chance  of  happiness  as  the  wife  of  a  man  who  can 
give  me  all  the  things  I  care  for,  than  I  should  have 
in  a  sphere  for  which  I  am  in  no  wise  adapted.  As 
Lady  Parker,  I  shall  be  a  success  in  the  world ;  as 
a  clergyman's  wife,  I  should  be  a  dismal  failure,  if 
not  a  positive  disgrace.  I  warned  you  of  this  when 
I  begged  you  not  to  go  into  the  Church.  You  chose 
the  ministry  in  preference  to  me ;  I  choose  the  world 
in  preference  to  you.  We  are  quits.  I  did  love  you, 
but  I  am  essentially  a  woman  of  the  world,  and 
should  be  miserable  without  its  pleasures." 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  193 

Her  tone  had  been  quite  calm  and  even  up  to  this  ; 
but  now,  as  she  noted  the  hard,  stony  look  that  was 
banishing  all  the  tenderness  from  Wyndham's  face, 
her  voice  broke  a  little,  and  she  stretched  forth  her 
hand  and  caught  his  with  a  beseeching  gesture. 

"  Bob,  Bob  ! "  she  cried,  with  her  old,  frank  man- 
ner, "  don't  look  so  at  me,  don't !  You  have  no  idea 
how  hard  it  has  been  for  me  to  bring  myself  to  toler- 
ate Lord  Parker.  Sometimes  I  almost  hate  him  j 
but  I  have  promised  papa  to  marry  him,  and  I  must 
do  it." 

He  had  been  gazing  fixedly  at  her  while  she  was 
speaking ;  looking,  not  so  much  at  her  beauty  of 
features,  as  penetrating  beneath  them  to  a  discovery 
of  the  pitiful  weakness  of  her  nature.  A  tide  of 
contempt  rushed  over  him  as  he  listened  to  her 
worthless  excuses.  He  saw  that  further  expostula- 
tion would  be  useless,  comprehending,  in  the  midst 
of  his  passionate  disappointment,  that,  even  were  he 
able  to  turn  her  from  her  intention  and  win  her 
for  himself,  the  result  would  be,  as  she  asserted, 
miserably  unsatisfactory. 

\ 

He  had  never  fully  realized  before  how  great  an 
ascendency  the  world  had  gained  over  her.  He 
began  to  feel  that  it  was  another,  a  different  woman 
from  the  girl  he  had  loved  and  grown  up  with,  who 


194  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

was  speaking  to  him.  Such  a  one  as  this  he  never 
could  have  cared  for.  Such,  he  never  could  have 
sought  to  make  his  wife  and  the  mother  of  his 
children.  He  felt  that  it  were  a  sin  against  his 
profession  to  seek  to  bind  this  daughter  of  Heth  to 
himself.  Yet  the  Outward  woman  was  such  a  fair* 
perfect  piece  of  handiwork,  that  his  flesh  was  almost 
tempted  to  sanction  the  spiritual  sacrifice  which 
would  win  her  to  him. 

The  ringers  which  even  now  were  throbbing 
beneath  his  own ;  the  lovely  eyes  which  a  few 
moments  since  had  overflowed  with  love  for  him  ; 
the  sweet,  arch  mouth,  whose  lips  had  but  just 
framed  his  name  in  accents  which  betrayed  the 
actual  state  of  the  outraged  heart ;  all  these  beset 
him  with  tierce  temptation. 

Why,  after  all,  should  he  not  yield  the  point  and 
return  to  his  former  profession  ?  He  had  not  as  yet 
entered  upon  his  new  duties ;  and  certainly  the 
world  offered  ample  opportunities  for  Christian 
endeavor,  even  to  a  layman.  Because  he  abandoned 
the  ministry,  he  need  not  wholly  relinquish  God's 
service.  The  field  of  sin  and  sorrow  was  wide 
enough  to  permit  the  laity  to  work  side  by  side 
with  the  clergy.  Every  walk  in  life  teems  with 
crime  and  suffering,  and  his  duty  to  the  Queen  need 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  195 

not  necessarily  preclude  his  labors  in  the  Lord's 
vineyard. 

Robert  Wyndham's  ordeal  was  a  fierce  one.  His 
compressed  lips,  set,  stern  face  and  knotted  brow 
bespoke  a  struggle  as  of  life  and  death.  Beads  of 
moisture  gathered  on  his  forehead  and  dampened  his 
thick  brown  hair,  while  his  chest  rose  and  fell  in 
labored  breathing.  One  hand  still  lay  clasped  in 
Eleanor's  slender  fingers,  but  the  other  grasped, 
as  in  a  vise,  the  back  of  the  chair  from  which  he 
had  rjsen.  The  agony  of  his  face  awoke  all  the 
womanliness  in  Eleanor  Dunstane's  nature,  and  for 
a  moment  her  love  for  him  almost  conquered  her 
worldliness. 

By  a  painful  effort  she  raised  herself  from  the 
couch,  and  stood  erect  before  him,  still  holding  his 
hand.  There  was  a  glow  on  her  face  that  rendered 
its  beauty  all  the  more  captivating,  and  a  wistful, 
pleading  expression  made  her  almost  irresistible. 

"  Robert,"  she  said  with  all  the  seductiveness  of 
which  she  was  capable,  "you  are  suffering,  and  I 
cannot  bear  it.  See  !  I  will  prove  to  you  that  I  do 
return  your  love.  I  am  willing  to  meet  you  half- 
way in  a  mutual  sacrifice  :  if  you  will  give  up  the 
ministry,  I  will  break  my  promise  to  Lord  Parker." 

Had   she   put   it   differently,  she  might  have  won 


196  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

him  ;  but  the  terms  of  the  contract  revolted  him. 
What !  Seek  to  make  a  right  of  two  wrongs  !  Try 
to  build  up  a  fabric  of  happiness  on  a  superstructure 
of  falsity  to  God  and  man  !  The  suggestion  brought 
him  to  his  senses. 

The  indecision  in  his  face  gave  way  to  set  purpose ; 
the  wavering,  to  fixed  resolve.  It  was  unlikely, 
judging  from  the  sternly  repellent  look  he  turned 
on  her,  that  Eleanor  Dunstane  would  ever  again 
cause  him  to  hesitate  in  his  duty.  He  withdrew 
his  hand  from  her,  and  there  was  some  contempt  in 
his  tone,  as  he  replied,  — 

"  I  thank  you  for  your  offer.  I  suppose  it  seems 
a  fair,  even  a  generous,  one  to  you;  but  in  my  sight 
the  value  of  the  respective  sacrifices  is  hardly  com- 
parable. I  must  decline  to  be  a  partner  in  the 
transaction.  Good-by." 

He  turned  abruptly  away,  traversed  the  long  room 
with  a  tread  far  heavier  than  that  with  which  he  had 
entered,  and  left  the  house. 

Behind  him  was  a  sound  of  low,  broken  sobs;  the 
regretful,  self-pitying  emotion  of  a  woman  who  had 
sold  her  birthright  of  love  and  happiness  for  a  mess 
of  the  veriest  pottage. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  197 


CHAPTER  XL 

AT  about  the  same  hour  that  Robert  Wyndliam 
was  entering  the  park  gates  of  Dunstane  Hall, 
Derrick  Grafton  was  striding  through  the  village 
on  his  way  to  the  rectory. 

He  had  been  very  busy  of  late  with  parish  affairs, 
—  for  the  rector  had  been  ailing  a  little,  not  really 
ill,  but  weak  and  languid,  and  Rhea's  time,  since 
her  return,  had  been  fully  occupied  with  setting  her 
rather  neglected  household  to  rights, — thus  almost 
the  entire  care  of  the  parish  had  devolved  upon  him. 

He  was  really  a  clever,  good-natured  young  fellow, 
the  "  Reverend  Derrick,"  as  Lamar  called  him ;  quite 
harmless  and  amiable,  if  no  one  trenched  upon  his 
preserves,  but  with  an  unfortunate  disposition  to 
consider  that  desire  constitutes  a  claim,  and  that 
what  he  set  his  heart  upon  attaining,  no  one  else 
had  a  right  to  aspire  to.  His  nature  was  decidedly 
an  illiberal  one  ;  his  mind  narrow,  and  intolerant  of 
disputation,  and  the  Athanasian  Creed  owed  its 
firmest  support,  in  his  eyes,  to  the  fact  that  he. 
Derrick  Grafton,  accredited  it. 


198  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

There  could  be  no  virtue  in  anything  which  did 
not  receive  the  sanction  of  his  approval  ;  and  his 
Christian  charity  was  limited  to  those  who  wor- 
shipped God  after  the  fashion  prescribed  by  the 
Thirty-nine  Articles.  Yet,  though  his  Christianity 
was  of  the  waistcoat  pattern,  the  young  curate  was 
an  earnest  and  devoted  disciple  of  his  profession. 
His  whole  heart  —  except  that  portion  of  it  conse- 
crated to  Natalie  Wyndham's  service  —  was  in  his 
work,  and  no  personal  consideration  ever  induced 
him  to  shirk  a  duty  or  neglect  a  call. 

Mr.  Wyndham  had  done  his  utmost  to  widen  the 
young  fellow's  mental  and  moral  horizon,  but  the  task 
had  been  a  difficult  and  discouraging  one.  Perhaps 
Natalie  effected  wider  results  by  one  of  her  indignant, 
downright  speeches  than  her  father  could  accomplish 
by  long  hours  of  gentle  exhortation  and  reproof. 

This  afternoon  Grafton  had  taken  a  holiday,  and 
was  on  his  way  to  spend  it  in  the  pleasantest  manner 
he  could  imagine  :  which  was  by  taking  tea  at  the 
rectory.  He  had  a  special  aim  in  view,  and  his  hand- 
some face  wore  an  important,  self-satisfied  expression. 
For  he  had  heard  from  Rockwood,  and  the  letter 
lying  in  his  pocket  had  more  than  confirmed  his  sus- 
picions of  Lamar.  Can  there  be  a  more  righteous 
enjoyment  to  a  Christian  soul  than  to  aid  in  the  over- 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  199 

throw  of  an  enemy  of  the  Lord  ?  —  especially  when 
that  enemy  threatens  to  prove  himself  one's  own  ? 

Filled  with  the  satisfaction  born  of  his  own  clever 
perspicacity,  and  exulting  in  his  success  in  having 
proved  Lamar  unfit  to  become  the  husband  of  a  clergy- 
man's daughter,  Grafton  swung  along  at  a  good  pace 
until  he  reached  the  rectory  gates.  Passing  through 
these,  he  traversed  the  gravelled  drive  and  gained  the 
open  door  —  open  doors  in  summer-time  were  a  fashion 
at  Fordham.  —  As  no  response  came  to  his  knock,  he 
entered  with  the  familiarity  of  close  acquaintance, 
and  passed  through  the  little  hallway  into  the  pleas- 
ant sitting-room. 

This,  too,  was  deserted,  but  the  distant  sound  of 
voices  apprised  him  that  the  garden  was  tenanted ; 
and,  as  he  stepped  out  through  the  long,  glass  doors,  a 
charming  picture  of  domestic  comfort  greeted  his 
eyes. 

The  tea-table  had  been  carried  out,-  and  placed 
beneath  a  wide-spreading  apple-tree ;  and  grouped 
about  it  were  the  rector  and  his  two  daughters,  —  Rhea 
seated  at  the  hissing  urn,  and  Natalie  stretched  in  a 
less  dignified  position  on  a  rug  at  her  father's  feet, 
with  his  knees  for  aback.  Grafton  received  a  cordial 
greeting  from  them  all. 

"  You  come  very  apropos"  said  Rhea,  holding  out 


200  DOCTOR   LAM  AH. 

a  cup  to  him,  "  for  I  was  just  wishing  for  a  Ganymede 
to  carry  this  nectar  to  that  lazy  little  goddess  there." 
-  Grafton  performed  the  required  service,  and,  as  she 
took  the  cup  from  him,  Natalie  burst  into  a  little  cry 
of  exultation. 

"  Oh,  papa,  papa !  "  she  cried,  "  I  am  so  glad  you 
did  not  get  this  cup  !  —  for  look  ! "  —  and  she  held  up 
a  long,  black  tea-ground  that  had  been  floating  on  the 
surface  —  "you  would  have  gotten  my  lover.  What 
a  splendid  fellow  !  tall  and  very  soon  to  appear.  See ! " 
She  had  tested  the  ground  with  her  small,  white  teeth, 
and  it  now  lay  broken  in  twain  in  dark  contrast  to  her 
snowy  palm. 

The  rector  laughed  with  pretended  scorn. 

"A  lover!  You!"  he  exclaimed;  "pray  what 
would  a  baby,  such  as  you,  do  with  a  lover  ?  Harness 
him  to  a  cart  and  play  horse  with  him,  or  set  him  at 
playing  dolls  ?  " 

The  girl  made  believe  pout. 

"  Pooh  !  "  she  said  ;  "  you  never  will  believe  I  am 
grown  up,  papa.  I  am  sure  I  am  going  to  have  a  real 
experience  now,  and  perhaps  that  will  convince  you. 
Derrick,"  she  continued  with  assumed  anxiety,  "have 
you  heard  of  any  new  arrivals  at  the  village  inn  ? 
Have  you  chanced  to  meet  a  lovely,  tall,  dark  young 
man  wandering  aimlessly  about  the  country  roads, 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  201 

with  a  yearning,  no-one-to-love-me  expression  in  his 
beautiful  eyes  ?  —  no,  orbs,  I  should  say  —  they  never 
have  eyes,  you  know,  but  orbs." 

The  tea-equipage  had  been  carried  away,  and  the 
parish  affairs  thoroughly  discussed  before  Grafton 
permitted  himself  the  triumph  of  his  disclosure.  He 
had  managed  to  introduce  Lamar's  name  into  the  con- 
versation, in  order  that  his  revelation  might  transpire 
naturally.  The  subject  was  a  pleasant  one  to  the 
rector,  and  always  awoke  his  enthusiasm. 

"A  delightful  fellow!"  he  remarked  now.  "A 
charming,  cultivated,  and  able  man ;  one  whom  it  is 
a  real  pleasure  to  honor.  I  miss  him  sadly.  Has 
Robert  any  news  of  him,  Rhea  ?  " 

"  Yes,  he  heard  only  yesterday.  Their  Heidelberg 
trip  has  been  abandoned  because  Dr.  Lamar  has 
received  letters  urging  his  return  to  America." 

"  What !  We  may  not  expect  another  visit  from  him, 
then  ?  Dear,  dear !  this  is  a  serious  disappointment  to 
me,  Rhea ;  for  aside  from  a  desire  to  entertain  him 
again  as  a  guest,  I  wished  very  much  to  consult  him  as 
a  physician." 

Rhea's  brow  contracted  anxiously. 

"  Papa,  you  do  not  feel  alarmed  about  yourself  ?  " 
she  asked  solicitously,  while  Natalie  started  and 
looked  apprehensively  into  the  gentle,  peaceful,  old 


202  DOCTOR  LAM  All. 

face,  which  smiled  back  at  both  girls,  gayly  and  reas- 
suringly. "Alarmed!  No,  no,"  he  said,  and  patted 
the  small  hand  which  had  stolen  up  to  seek  his  own. 
"  Nothing  of  the  kind,  my  careful  Martha  and  tender 
Mary ;  it  is  only  a  subterfuge.  I  really  would  like  to 
get  Lamar  back  for  sociability's  sake." 

Derrick  Grafton  had  been  standing,  leaning  against 
the  gnarled  trunk  of  the  apple-tree  ;  now  he  took  a 
step  forward,  and  drew  an  envelope  from  his  breast. 

"  Perhaps  your  regret  will  be  lessened  by  a  fact 
regarding  your  late  guest,  which  I  have  recently 
learned,"  he  said,  while  the  pleasant  frankness  van- 
ished from  his  boyish  face,  and  a  look  of  malicious 
satisfaction  crept  into  his  eyes ;  "  for  it  stamps  him  as 
unworthy  your  hospitality  and  unfitted  to  be  the 
guest  of  a  Christian  minister." 

There  was  genuine  surprise  on  the  faces  of  two  of 
his  listeners  as  he  spoke;  there  was  apprehension, 
dismay,  and  consternation,  yes,  and  anger,  too,  on 
that  of  the  third. 

It  seemed  as  if  an  iron  hand  were  clutching  Nata- 
lie's heart.  She  sprang  to  her  feet  and  stood,  with 
white  face  and  trembling  frame,  confronting  the 
curate. 

"  Take  care  what  you  say,  Derrick,"  she  said  warn- 
ingly.  "  Remember  that  you  are  speaking  of  Robert's 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  203 

dearest  friend,  and  my  father's  guest.  You  have  ill- 
chosen  a  place  to  slander  Dr.  Lamar." 

" Tut,  tut,  Natalie ! "  remonstrated  her  father.  "  You 
are  forgetting  yourself,  little  one.  What's  this  you 
are  saying,  Derrick  ?  You  are  bringing  grave  charges 
against  a  man  who  is  not  here  to  defend  himself." 

"  Nor  could  he  do  it,  if  he  were  here,  nor  would  he !  " 
the  young  fellow  cried,  exasperated  by  Natalie's  inter- 
est in  Lamar.  "  He  glories  in  his  atheism.  For  that's 
what  he  is,  Mr.  Wyndham,  an  atheist,  and  this  letter 
in  my  hand  will  prove  it." 

"  What  is  the  letter  ?  "  the  rector  asked  calmly, 
while  Natalie's  habitual  deference  to  her  father's 
wishes  alone  restrained  her  from  another  outburst,  and 
Rhea  looked  pained  and  perplexed. 

"  From  an  American  friend  of  mine,  Lawrence 
Rockwood,  who  was  also  a  cousin  of  Dr.  Lamar's  wife. 
This  is  what  he  says:  'You  ask  me  if  I  have  ever 
heard  of  a  Dr.  Lamar  in  New  York.  Well,  rather ! 
Had  I  not  known  him  personally  as  the  husband  of 
my  cousin,  Laura  Rockwood,  who  is  now  dead,  I 
could  not  very  well  have  failed  to  know  him  by  repu- 
tation. He  is  not  only  one  of  our  most  skilful  phy- 
sicians, but  he  has  attained  quite  a  wide  celebrity  as 
an  agnostic.  He  is  one  of  the  most  prominent  mem- 
bers of  the  Advance  Club,  a  brilliant  debater,  and 


204  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

rather  a  dangerous  foe  to  your  profession.  But  for 
all  that  he  is  — '  Oh,  that  is  all,  the  rest  is  nothing ! " 

"  The  rest  is  a  good  deal,"  Natalie  interrupted  with 
blazing  eyes  and  passionate  voice,  for  her  heart  was 
throbbing  so  violently  that  she  could  no  longer  control 
herself.  "  It  is  a  very  great  deal,  Mr.  Graf  ton,  and 
we  will  not  be  cheated  out  of  it.  Give  me  the  letter ! " 
She  almost  snatched  it  from  him  as  he  reluctantly 
held  it  forth. 

"'For  all  that,'"  she  read,  "'he  is  a  splendid 
fellow,  a  man  of  enviable  reputation  ;  with  a  big 
heart  always  ready  to  help  the  suffering  and  needy ; 
a  true  friend  and  excellent  adviser,  as  I  have  had 
good  occasion  to  prove ;  in  a  word,  an  agnostic  who 
might  be  a  shining  example  to  many  so-called  Chris- 
tians.' Your  friend  offers  you  a  well-directed  hint, 
Derrick  Grafton  ;  and  you  would  do  well  to  profit  by 
it.  For  if  there  be  anything  in  the  world  calculated 
to  bring  God's  service  into  discredit  and  ill-repute,  it 
is  the  wretched  narrowness  of  such  as  you  among  its 
ministers.  Dr.  Lamar  may  be  an  agnostic,  an  atheist, 
yes,  even  a  heathen,  if  you  will ;  but  the  true  spirit  of 
Christ  is  far  more  splendidly  manifest  in  his  wide, 
generous  nature  than  in  your  pitifully  contracted 
character.  For  my  part,  I  would  much  rather  the 
world  were  composed  of  such  noble  atheists  as  he, 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  205 

than  of  such  illiberal,  pharisaical  Christians  as 
you ! " 

As  she  broke  off,  with  almost  a  sob  of  excitement, 
a  crackling  of  the  gravel  behind  them  warned  the 
little  group  that  some  one  was  intruding  upon  their 
privacy.  As  involuntarily  all  eyes  turned  in  the 
direction  of  the  sound,  the  identification  of  the  in- 
truder aroused  various  emotions  among  them.  It  was 
none  other  than  Lamar  himself. 

His  grave,  stern  features  were  softened  by  some 
strong,  tender  feeling,  and  his  gray  eyes  gleamed 
with  a  rare  look  of  happiness.  He  came  directly 
toward  Natalie,  and  bared  his  head ;  then,  extending 
his  hand,  he  grasped  the  slim,  trembling  fingers  of 
the  girl,  and  held  them  in  an  almost  painful  clasp, 
Avhile  his  gaze  fell  warmly  upon  the  timid,  blushing 
face,  affrighted  by  its  own  words. 

"Miss  Natalie,"  he  said  gravely,  "it  is  seldom  that 
a  listener  receives  such  magnificent  recompense  as  I. 
Will  you  believe  that  I  am  profoundly  grateful  for 
your  cordial  defence  of  me  ?  " 

For  a  moment  it  seemed  to  the  two  that  they  were 
as  alone  beneath  the  summer  sky  as  Adam  and  Eve  in 
the  garden  of  Paradise.  Forgetful  of  all  but  them- 
selves, they  stood  with  kindling  souls  and  throbbing 
pulses  gazing  into  each  other's  very  hearts ;  then  he 
let  go  her  hand,  and  turned  to  the  rector. 


206  DOCTOR   LAM  All. 

"  Mr.  Wyndham,"  he  said,  "  the  charge  against  me 
is  quite  correct.  I  plead  guilty,  but  recommend 
myself  to  mercy.  It  is  scarcely  manly  to  seek  to 
shelter  one's  self  behind  another's  back,  but  I  am  so 
unwilling  that  you  should  think  I  stole  into  your 
home  under  false  pretences,  that  I  am  urged  to  offer 
Robert's  advice  and  expressed  desire  as  my  excuse. 
He  has  always  been  aware  of  my  sceptical  views,  and 
especially  requested  that  I  should  not  mention  them 
at  Fordham,  unless  occasion  actually  demanded  that 
I  should  do  so.  If  you  regard  my  conduct  in  the 
matter  as  dishonorable,  as  it  seems  to  have  appeared 
to  Mr.  Grafton,  I  have  to  beg  your  pardon,  and 
express  my  sorrow  that  I  should  have  so  offended ; 
though  I  cannot  regret  a  course  of  action  whose 
results  have  caused  me,  for  the  first  time,  to  feel 
sorrow  for  my  agnosticism,  and  which  have  somewhat 
shaken  the  strength  of  my  sceptical  convictions. 
My  silence  was  due  to  no  false  shame  at  my  position, 
and  Mr.  Grafton  had  no  need  to  write  to  America  for 
information  regarding  me.  If  he  had  but  suggested 
a  desire  to  know  my  life-history,  he  should  have  been 
instructed  in  it  to  its  smallest  details,  for  the  life  of 
an  agnostic  need  be  no  less  pure  than  that  of  a  Chris- 
tian, and  I  have  nothing  to  conceal  in  mine.  My 
atheism  was  revealed  to  Miss  Natalie  at  the  slightest 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  207 

hint  on  her  part,  and  her  sweet  charity  was  proof 
against  a  test  which  seems  to  have  shrivelled  up  that 
of  your  curate." 

He  paused,  and  his  vigorous,  manly  words  seemed 
to  covet  Derrick  Graf  ton  with  confusion.  Never 
before  had  he  appeared  to  himself  in  so  small  and 
pitiful  a  light.  Dr.  Lamar's  simple  and  open  avowal 
showed  up  his  own  conduct  in  a  mean  and  contempti- 
ble aspect.  His  blue  eyes  fell  before  the  stern, 
candid  gaze  of  the  American,  and  his  fair  English 
face  grew  red  and  confused  with  shame.  Still,  his 
conceit  in  himself  as  a  disciple  of  the  Church  would 
not  permit  him,  yet,  to  acknowledge  his  cowardly 
conduct  toward  an  unbeliever.  He  made  an  effort  to 
reinstate  himself  in  the  good  graces  of  his  own  con- 
science, as  well  as  to  excuse  himself  to  the  rector,  by 
saying,  — 

"  It  is  all  very  well  for  you  to  say  that  now,  Dr. 
Lamar,  but  if  I  had  put  the  slightest  question  to  you 
regarding  your  pas.t  life,  you  know  very  well  you 
would  have  resented  it  as  an  impertinence,  and  have 
bidden  me  mind  my  own  business.  I  had  no  other 
way  of  finding  out  about  you." 

His  stammered  excuse  was  a  very  lame  one,  and  he 
felt  it,  even  before  the  rector  replied,  gently  but 
reprovingly,  — 


208  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

"  And  what  need  had  you,  pray,  to  concern  your- 
self about  the  character  or  standing  of  my  guest, 
Derrick  ?  Did  you  deem  Robert  incapable  of  dis- 
crimination as  to  what  mariner  of  man  was  fit  for 
entertainment  beneath  my  roof  ?  Did  you  think  me 
too  old  and  feeble  to  form  a  just  estimate  of  a  man's 
worth  and  integrity  ?  No,  no,  my  lad ;  you  have 
erred  strangely.  I  would  not  have  thought  it  of  you, 
Derrick.  You  have  been  urged  by  some  selfish  motive 
to  commit  an  indiscretion  quite  unworthy  an  English 
gentleman  or  a  Christian  clergyman." 

The  rector's  reproof  struck  well  home,  and  Lamar 
felt  sorry  for  the  young  fellow's  evident  discomfiture. 
As  for  E-hea,  her  kind  heart  was  moved  to  the  curate's 
defence,  even  while  she  deprecated  his  conduct. 

"Oh,  papa!"  she  said,  "are  you  nbt  just  a  little 
hard  on  Derrick  ?  Of  course  he  ought  not  to  have 
done  what  he  did,  but  surely,  we  who  know  him  so 
well,  must  feel  convinced  he  acted  only  from  the  best 
of  motives." 

The  rector  looked  his  curate  fully  in  the  face. 

"  I  will  leave  it  to  himself,"  he  said  quietly.  "  God 
forbid  that  I  should  misjudge  one  of  whom  I  am  as 
fond  as  if  he  were  my  son.  Derrick,  my  lad,  you 
shall  be  your  own  judge :  Was  your  motive  in  writing 
your  friend  a  worthy  one  or  not  ?  " 


DOCTOR   LAM  All.  209 

The  red  flush  on  the  curate's  face  turned  to  crimson. 
A  fierce  struggle  was  going  on  in  his  breast  between 
self-love  and  that  diviner  influence  that  had  led  him 
to  choose  God's  work  as  his  life-labor.  The  conflict 
lasted  but  a  second,  but  its  evident  intensity  was 
sufficient  to  make  the  brief  instant  one  of  suspense 
to  all.  Then  the  better  nature  triumphed.  With  a 
mixture  of  frank  honesty  and  deep  mortification  he 
turned  to  Lamar. 

"  Mr.  Wyndham  is  right,  sir,"  he  said ;  "  I  have 
done  a  low,  o»wardly  thing,  and  I  am  ashamed  of  it. 
I  cannot  even  take  advantage  of  Miss  Wyndham's 
suggestion,  and  plead  a  worthy  motive.  I  was  urged 
to  what  I  did  by  mere  selfish  jealousy ;  there  is  no 
need  of  my  trying  to  conceal  the  reason.  I  think  my 
love  for  Natalie  is  no  secret  to  any  one.  But  I  have 
to  beg  your  pardon  for  my  conduct,  and  ask  you  to 
forget  it,  if  you  can  do  so." 

Lamar's  heart  warmed  to  the  lad. 

"I  assure  you  I  shall  never  again  think  of  the 
matter,"  he  said,  extending  his  hand. 

Grafton  took  it  and  held  it  a  moment,  then,  raising 
his  hat  to  the  others,  he  murmured  some  excuse  for 
withdrawing,  passed  in  through  the  open  windows, 
and  disappeared  from  view. 

A  terrible  shadow  fell  on  Fordham  rectory  during 


210  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

that  night :  a  shadow  which  made  all  other  consider- 
ations, even  that  of  Robert's  broken  heart,  seem  petty 
and  trivial. 

They  had  all  noticed  Eobert's  changed  expression 
when  he  returned  from  Dunstaue  Hall,  but,  as  they 
divined  its  cause  pretty  accurately,  no  one  made 
allusion  to  it  save  Rhea.  Her  sympathetic,  sisterly 
heart  absolutely  forbade  her  pretending  indifference ; 
and  after  Kobert  had  gone  up  to  make  some  altera- 
tions in  his  dress  for  dinner,  she  went  and  tapped 
softly  at  his  door.  • 

She  was  alarmed  as  she  entered,  without  awaiting  a 
response  to  her  knock,  and  saw  the  suffering,  haggard 
face  that  was  lifted  to  hers.  A  moment  since  it  had 
been  buried  upon  the  folded  arms  which  rested  on 
the  small  table,  beside  which  he  was  sitting. 

"Oh,  Rhea!  It  is  you,"  he  said  with  a  sigh  of 
relief. 

She  went  and  knelt  beside  him,  laying  her  arm 
about  his  neck,  and  looking  into  his  face  with  her 
whole  great,  loving  heart  in  her  eyes.  For  a  moment 
he  bore  her  searching  gaze  bravely,  then  his  eyes  fell, 
his  breast  worked,  and  great  heavy  sobs  burst  from 
him  as  he  dropped  his  face  again  upon  his  arms,  and 
gave  himself  up  to  a  storm  of  emotion. 

The  snapping  of  his  tense  self-control  relieved  him 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  211 

somewhat,  but  as  Ehea  listened  to  the  sad,  unhappy 
story  he  poured  into  her  sympathetic  ears,  she  was 
shocked  and  troubled  to  note  the  bitterness  with 
which  he  mentioned  Eleanor's  name;  and  it  surprised 
and  distressed  her  to  see  how  rebellious  he  was 
beneath  this  stroke,  how  harsh  and  fierce  was  his 
judgment  of  her  who  had  sinned  against  him,  how 
vindictive  his  attitude  toward  those  who  had  encour- 
aged her  in  her  unworthy  conduct,  and  how  unavail- 
ing were  the  ministrations  of  his  beloved  religion. 

It  seemed  that  this  incontrovertible  proof  of 
Eleanor's  worldliness  had  soured  his  sweet  charity, 
had  darkened  his  sunny  optimism,  and  hardened  his 
gentle  heart.  She  scarcely  recognized  her  own  bright, 
lovable,  and  tender-natured  brother  in  this  malevo- 
lent and  revengeful  lover.  She  did  all  in  her  power 
to  soften  his  judgment  of  Eleanor  Dunstane.  She 
argued,  expostulated,  and  sought  to  excuse  the  girl ; 
urging,  in  extenuation  of  her  decision,  the  influences 
to  which  she  had  been  subjected,  and  the  pressure  of 
family  necessity.  She  knelt  by  his  side  for  half  an 
hour,  trying  to  comfort  and  console  him  ;  but  at  the 
end  of  that  time,  she  rose  to  her  feet,  sadly  dis- 
couraged by  the  abortiveness  of  her  attempts. 

His  love  for  Eleanor  seemed  to  have  turned  to  a 
gall  that  permeated  his  entire  being.  No  excuse  was 


212  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

permissible,  lie  asseverated,  for  the  prostitution  of  her 
love.  "  A  woman  who  tries  to  sanctify  her  lust  for 
gold  by  shielding  herself  from  public  censure  behind 
the  marriage  ceremony  is  no  better  in  the  sight  of 
God,  no,  nor  one-half  as  justifiable,  as  she  who  seeks 
to  win  the  necessities  of  life  by  the  illegal  sale  of 
her  personal  charms,"  he  declared.  His  condemna- 
tion knew  no  compromise.  His  first  burst  of  weak- 
ness was  soon  controlled,  and  he  discussed  the  affair 
in  a  cold,  stony  manner  that  almost  frightened 
Ehea. 

She  hastened  her  toilet,  and  hurried  down-stairs, 
hoping  to  find  Lamar  somewhere  about,  as  she  was 
aware  of  his  influence  with  Robert,  and  wanted  to 
turn  it  into  the  most  beneficial  channels. 

He  was  standing  by  the  glass  doors,  looking  out 
into  the  garden,  and  smiled  a  little  sadly  as  she  came 
up  the  room  to  him. 

"I  was  taking  a  silent  farewell  of  Miss  Natalie's 
garden,"  he  said,  "and  wondering  when  I  should  see 
it  again ;  for  I  mean  to  come  back  some  day,  Miss 
Wyndham,  if  I  may  ?  " 

R-hea  gave  a  most  hospitable  assent  to  this  desire, 
and  then  coming  a  little  nearer,  and  lowering  her 
voice  a  little,  continued,  — 

"Dr.  Lamar,  I  have  hurried  down  to  have  a  word 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  213 

with  you  about  Kobert.  You  must  have  noticed  how 
badly  he  is  looking  ?  " 

Dr.  Lamar  nodded  gravely. 

"Well,  he  has  had  a  terrible  disappointment. 
Eleanor  Dunstane  has  refused  him  in  order  to  marry 
Lord  Parker.  It  has  had  a  very  sad  effect  upon 
Robert,  and  has  changed  him  more  than  I  could  have 
believed  possible  ;  it  seems  to  have  embittered  his 
whole  nature.  I  thought  he  might  speak  of  it  to  you 
to-night ;  if  he  does,  may  I  depend  on  you  to  do  your 
utmost  to  soften  his  view  of  the  case  ?  Do  not  side 
with  him  against  Eleanor ;  and  say  what  you  can  in 
palliation  of  her  offence.  I  acknowledge  how  badly 
she  has  acted  by  Robert,  and  I  am  afraid  my  feelings 
toward  her  are  rather  unchristianlike  at  present ;  but 
I  cannot  have  the  conduct  of  a  weak,  frivolous  girl 
warp  my  dear  boy's  beautiful  nature,  and  I  look  to 
you  to  help  me  in  giving  his  thoughts  a  more  health- 
ful direction." 

Philip  Lamar  felt  a  genuine  affection  and  admira- 
tion for  this  plain,  big-hearted,  and  unselfish  woman. 
Her  active  benevolence  and  practical  Christianity 
appealed  to  his  own  views  of  the  noblest  uses  of  life, 
and  he  felt  an  almost  fraternal  attachment  to  her, 
and  a  profound  regret  for  the  suffering  which  he 
knew  she  must  very  soon  be  called  upon  to  bear. 


214  DOCTOR  LAM  A  It. 

For  he  had  been  startled  by  the  alteration  which 
had  taken  place  in  the  rector  during  his  short 
absence,  —  an  alteration  which  signified  a  rapid  and 
incurable  decay  of  the  vital  functions,  and  which 
proved  the  swift  encroachments  of  a  disease  whose* 
symptoms  had  been  manifest  to  the  physician's  keen 
glance  the  moment  it  had  fallen  on  the  placid,  gentle, 
old  man.  He  felt  that  the  stroke  might  fall  at  any 
time,  and  that  Khea  ought  to  be  prepared ;  and  this 
task  of  preparation  must  be  his,  now  that  Robert 
had  so  great  a  burden  of  his  own  to  bear. 

How  would  she  endure  it,  he  wondered,  knowing 
how  profound  was  her  love  for  her  father.  He  re- 
membered how  terrible  had  been  a  similar  blow  to 
his  wife,  and  how  her  unbelief  had  plunged  her  into 
the  dark  depths  of  despair.  Would  Khea  Wyndham's 
faith  save  her  from  the  same  gloomy  grief  ? 

He  replied  to  her  solicitude  with  the  kindest  assur- 
ances, and  expressed  great  sympathy  for  Robert. 

"  Miss  Wyndham,"  he  asked,  "  why  should  such  a 
good  fellow  as  Robert  have  to  go  through  such  a  fiery 
furnace  of  suffering  ?  Is  not  your  faith  in  a  Divine 
director  ever  shaken  when  you  see  instances  of  un- 
merited affliction ;  when  you  see  the  innocent  suffer- 
ing for  the  guilty,  and  the  misery  of  life  so  unevenly 
distributed  ?  " 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  215 

Ehea  shook  her  head  decidedly. 

"Never!"  she  said.  "I  believe  there  must  be  a 
period  of  probation  and  purification  for  all  souls 
before  they  enter  into  the  joys  of  Paradise.  Happy 
are  they,  indeed,  whose  purging  comes  in  this  life ; 
for  if  they  bear  it  worthily,  and  come  out  from  it 
witli  strong,  serene  spirit,  so  much  more  immediate  is 
their  entry  into  the  divine  glory.  Dr.  Lamar,  I  do  not 
regard  a  tranquil,  untroubled  life  with  envy.  Very 
few  are  proof  against  the  risk  it  involves  of  narrow- 
ness and  selfishness.  Suffering  to  me  is  not  a  thing 
to  be  shunned  and  avoided ;  rather,  I  consider  it  a 
test  to  be  nobly  endured,  a  trial  sent  through  the 
very  tenderness  and  love  of  God  to  prove  our  worthi- 
ness for  a  higher  life." 

She  was  so  evidently  sincere  in  her  speech,  her 
bearing  was  so  calm  and  assured,  that  Lamar  felt 
impelled  to  seize  the  present  moment  to  warn  her 
of  her  father's  danger. 

"Miss  Wyndham,"  he  said  gravely,  "yours  is  a 
beautiful  faith ;  I  would  it  were  mine.  You  have 
given  me  courage  to  broach  a  subject  which  I  wish 
might  demand  no  words.  It  is  of  your  father's 
health.  Has  he  been  ailing  much  since  I  left 
Fordham  ?  " 

Rhea's  face  grew  very  serious,  but  her  brow  was 
still  serene  as  she  replied,  — 


216  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

"  You  notice  a  change  in  him  ?  Yes,  he  is  failing; 
I  can  see  it  every  day.  You  do  not  apprehend  any 
immediate  danger  to  his  life  ?  " 

"I  cannot  say;  any  affection  of  the  heart  may 
terminate  suddenly.  I  think  it  would  be  well  to 
prepare  him." 

A  sad  little  smile  of  filial  pride  curved  her  lips  as 
she  gently  shook  her  head. 

"He  needs  no  preparation,"  she  said  with  fond 
assurance.  "  His  house  is  always  set  in  order.  Be- 
sides, Dr.  Lamar,  he  is  not  blind  to  his  own  con- 
dition. He  has  talked  with  me  a  good  deal  lately 
of  death,  and  I  know  that  it  has  no  terrors  for  him. 
The  dear  father !  " 

Lamar  marvelled  at  her  tranquillity  and  composure. 
Evidently,  then,  her  faith  was  a  staff  in  time  of 
trouble,  a  very  present  help  in  time  of  need.  The 
tears  were  in  her  eyes,  but  on  her  face  was  a  gentle 
radiance  like  that  of  the  sun  shining  amid  a  soft- 
falling  shower. 

Lamar  was  impressed  with  her  calm  trust  and 
serene  conduct.  Here  was  a  marked  example  of 
the  practical  use  and  assistance  to  which  that  sweet 
old  mystical  belief  might  be  put.  Here  was  a  strong, 
loving  nature  contemplating  the  death  of  the  dearest 
object  of  its  affection  with  a  peaceful  resignation, 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  217 

born  of  the  certainty  of  reunion  beyond  the  grave. 
Involuntarily  he  compared  Rhea  Wyndham's  calm 
acceptability  of  the  divine  decree  with  his  wife's 
despairing  protest  against  an  eternal  separation,  and 
was  forced  to  yield  assent  to  the  worth  of  a  spiritual 
belief  in  time  of  affliction. 

Throughout  dinner  Lamar  watched  the  rector  care- 
fully. The  kind,  gentle  old  features  bore  evidences 
of  the  excitement  he  had  undergone  in  the  afternoon. 
An  unusual  pallor  lay  upon  his  face,  and  a  pinched 
expression  about  the  nostrils  bred  apprehension  in 
the  physician's  mind. 

After  dinner  Mr.  Wyndham  withdrew  at  once  to 
his  study,  whither  Lamar  followed  him,  at  his 
request. 

"Dr.  Lamar,"  he  said  as  soon  as  they  were  both 
seated,  "you  will  pardon  my  taking  you  away  from 
the  young  people  on  this,  the  last  night  you  will 
be  with  them,"  —  Lamar  had  run  down  to  Fordham 
to  spend  the  night  which  intervened  between  his 
arrival  in  London  and  the  sailing  of  the  homeward- 
bound  steamer,  —  "but  I  am  selfish  enough  to  desire 
to  claim  a  little  of  your  time  and  advice.  It  is  not 
necessary  for  me  to  tell  one  of  your  professional 
acumen  that  I  am  the  victim  of  an  incurable  malady, 
and  doubtless  you  have  observed,  what  I  am  so  well 


218  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

aware  of  myself,  that  I  am  failing  day  by  day.  I 
am  ready  and  willing  to  go  whenever  my  Maker 
calls  me;  and  the  "prospect  of  meeting  my  dear  ones 
who  have  gone  before  fills  me  with  joy  and  almost 
eagerness.  The  separation  from  my  children  causes 
me  some  natural  sadness,  as  the  thought  of  your 
departure  to-morrow  causes  you,  I  hope,  a  little 
regret;  but  you  will  return  here,  I  trust,  some  day. 
You  will  pardon  an  old  man  whose  love  for  his 
child  leads  him  to  believe  that  she  has  wrought 
in  your  heart  a  determination  to  .one  day  return,  to 
England  and  —  to  her?" —  He  paused,  and  held 
out  his  hand  to  Lamar.  The  latter  grasped  it  with 
a  firm,  eager  pressure  that  answered  the  rector's 
supposition,  and  the  old  man  went  on :  "  I  thought 
so ;  love  makes  us  clairvoyant,  my  dear  sir.  Well, 
I  wish  you  Godspeed,  my  friend.  Your  views  are, 
I  frankly  admit,  a  matter  of  regret  to  me.  I  would 
not  voluntarily  have  subjected  my  little  girl  to  the 
influence  of  an  atheist,  but  I  leave  the  affair  in  God's 
hands.  He  has  brought  you  together  for  some  wise 
purpose;  and  if — as  it  seems  to  me  probable  — 
Natalie  loves  you,  man  has  no  right  to  seek  to 
thwart  His  plans.  I  fear  no  danger  to  her  from 
contact  with  your  irreligion ;  I  believe  her  faith  to 
be  too  inherent  a  part  of  her  being  to  be  vanquished 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  219 

by  the  contagion.  It  may  be  through  her  pure 
influence  that  your  soul  is  to  be  redeemed  from 
the  sad  darkness  in  which  it  now  lies  shrouded ; 
and,  if  so,  God  forbid  that  I  should  seek  to  deprive 
her  of  her  glorious  privilege  of  winning  a  soul,  and 
such  a  soul,  to  Him.  Dr.  Lamar,  I  like  you,  and  I 
am  willing  to  trust  my  child's  happiness  in  your 
hands.  It  is  a  precious  charge,  and  you  will  pardon 
my  bidding  you  guard  it  well.  May  God,  the  Infinite 
Father,  have  you  both  in  His  tender  keeping  !  " 

As  he  stopped,  Dr.  Lamar  leaned  forward,  and 
again  wrung  the  slender,  withered  hand  warmly. 

"Mr.  Wyndham,"  he  said  in  a  deep,  earnest  tone 
which  signified  profound  feeling,  "  I  shall  never  for- 
get your  kindness  to  me.  If  there  be  a  God,  —  as 
indeed  your  charity  would  almost  convince  me,  —  you 
and  your  children  have  done  Him  good  service  by 
your  trust  in  me ;  for  it  is  beneath  your  roof  that  I 
have,  for  the  first  time,  encountered  a  practical  exer- 
cise of  that  Christian  tolerance  which  your  Bible  pre- 
scribes as  the  underlying  principle  of  your  religion. 
Hitherto  Christianity  and  moral  conceit  have  been 
synonymous  terms  with  me,  and  the  abhorrence 
and  contempt  manifested  by  your  young  curate 
well  portray  the  attitude  generally  maintained  by 
the  disciples  of  your  Christ  toward  those  who  dare 


220  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

honestly  to  confess  the  doubts  which  must  of  neces- 
sity at  times  trouble  every  intelligent  soul.  The 
splendid  breadth  of  mind  you  have  shown,  in  being 
willing  to  intrust  your  dearest  possession  to  my 
care,  fills  me  with  wonder,  and  shakes  somewhat 
rudely  my  preconceived  ideas.  But,  sir,  if  I  am 
able  to  win  your  daughter,  —  and  of  such  good 
fortune,  I  confess,  I  am  very  doubtful,  —  if  I  can 
gain  her  love,  you  may  rest  assured  that  she  shall 
be  as  safe  in  my  hands  as  in  your  own." 

The  subject  ended  with  Lamar's  words,  and  then 
followed  a  discussion  of  Mr.  Wyndham's  symptoms. 
Lamar  made  a  careful  diagnosis  of  his  case,  wrote 
a  prescription  for  a  heart  tonic,  and  gave  the  rector 
certain  directions  as  to  the  proper  regimen  to  be 
pursued.  Then,  noting  how  weary  and  exhausted 
his  host  looked,  he  rose  to  take  leave  of  him,  advis- 
ing him  to  retire  as  soon  as  possible. 

As  they  stood  a  moment  together  at  the  door,  the 
old  rector  again  stretched  forth  his  hand. 

"  G-ood-by,  my  dear  boy,  good-by  !  "  he  said  with 
a  little  wistful  look  in  his  eyes  ;  "  I  thank  you  for 
all  your  kindness  to  me.  You  have  my  blessing, 
remember,  and  may  God  the  Father,  whom  some 
day  I  feel  convinced  you  will  feel  to  be  your  own 
loving  Parent,  sanctify  it  to  you." 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  221 

It  went  hard  with  Lamar  not  to  seek  Natalie  then, 
at  once,  and  put  his  fate  to  the  touch.  The  girl's 
warm  defence  of  him  had  moved  him  greatly;  but 
it  also  seemed  to  have  had  its  effect  upon  her,  for 
she  avoided  him  in  an  altogether  novel  fashion.  She 
kept  close  to  Rhea,  and  was  careful  not  to  be  alone 
with  him  an  instant.  When  she  could  not  escape 
replying  to  a  direct  question  from  him,  she  answered 
with  a  confusion  of  manner,  a  shy  self-consciousness, 
altogether  new  and  strange. 

Yet,  even  had  there  been  opportunity  for  confess- 
ing the  passion  that  had  taken  complete  possession 
of  him,  drawing  him,  as  with  a  magnetic  attraction, 
a  hundred  miles  out  of  his  homeward  way,  merely 
to  look  again  upon  a  sweet,  girlish  face,  even  then, 
fortified  by  the  knowledge  of  her  father's  full 
consent,  Lamar  would  have  resisted  the  impulse 
which  tempted  him.  Reverence  for  his  dead  wife 
was  strong  within  him,  and  his  respect  for  her 
memory  was  far  too  profound  to  permit  him  to 
appear  careless  of  it  in  the  eyes  of  a  carping 
world. 

The  eVening  passed  quietly.  Lamar  had  no  oppor- 
tunity to  use  his  influence  with  Robert,  for  the  latter 
favored  him  with  no  confidences.  The  cigars  which 
were  usually  smoked  after  the  ladies  had  retired, 


222  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

remained  that  night  unlighted  ;  Kobert  excusing 
himself  on  the  plea  of  a  severe  headache. 

In  the  silent  watches  of  the  night  a  shadow,  which 
the  morning  sun  failed  to  dissipate,  fell  on  the  rec- 
tory. Azrael  stole  softly  into  the  peaceful  dwelling, 
and  smoothed  with  gentle  touch  the  aged  features 
of  the  rector,  stroking  them  into  such  calm  beauty 
that  Rhea,  who  first  discovered  the  presence  of  the 
death-angel,  had  no  impulse  to  cry  out  in  surprise  — 
being  loath  to  disturb  in  any  way  the  atmosphere  of 
tranquillity  that  surrounded  the  placid  sleeper. 

Natalie  alone  of  all  the  little  family  group  had 
been  unsuspectful  of  the  coming  cloud,  and  her  grief 
smote  Larnar's  very  soul.  For  the  first  time  sorrow 
had  laid  its  weight  upon  her,  and  she  shrank  from 
its  burden.  Her  mourning  was  passionate  and  in- 
tense, and  she  found  but  little  comfort  in  the  thought 
which  was  of  so  vast  consolation  to  Ehea  —  that  of 
a  future  reunion. 

"  I  want  him  now,  now ! "  she  cried,  when  Rhea 
tried  to  urge  this  certainty  upon  her.  "How  can 
I  live  thirty,  forty,  perhaps  fifty,  years  without  him  ? 
Oh,  papa,  papa  !  " 

Rhea  was  a  little  shocked  by  the  rebelliousness 
to  God's  will  which  Natalie  manifested  in  her  grief. 
In  joy  the  girl  had  been  so  sweet  and  pliable  that 


DOCTOR   LAMAIi.  223 

she  had  expected  to  see  her  yield  sadly,  but  obedi- 
ently, to  affliction  ;  but  this  first  trial,  on  the  con- 
trary, seemed  to  render  her  fierce  and  mutinous.  As 
in  Robert's  case,  trouble  and  suffering  apparently 
embittered  rather  than  softened  her;  and  she  shut 
herself  up  in  her  father's  study,  —  the  room  which 
of  all  the  house  was  especially  consecrated  by  his 
presence,  —  and  spent  the  morning  in  the  very  aban- 
donment of  grief. 

Lamar  was  of  valuable  assistance  to  the  afflicted 
household,  but,  even  his  great  desire  to  pay  the  last 
tribute  of  respect  and  affection  to  the  old  man  who 
had  been  so  good  a  friend  to  him,  was  forced  to 
yield  to  the  imperative  necessity  of  returning  to 
New  York.  He  was  to  take  an  early  afternoon  train 
from  Fordham,  and  parted  from  Robert  and  Rhea 
reluctantly  and  with  deep  regret. 

"You  know  I  would  not  leave  just  now,  were  it 
not  imperative  that  I  should  catch  this  steamer," 
he  said,  as  Rhea  and  he  were  standing  together  in 
the  sitting-room  a  few  moments  before  he  left. 

She  nodded  an  assent.  Her  heart  was  too  full 
to  permit  of  a  firm  control  of  her  voice.  She  also 
had  come  to  recognize  the  fact  of  Lamar's  love  for 
Natalie,  and,  feeling  that  no  woman  could  long 
remain  indifferent  to  the  passion  of  such  as  he, 


224  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

she  had  made  the  child  a  willing  sacrifice  of  her 
own  heart.  Nevertheless,  it  was  hard  to  part  from 
Lainar,  especially  hard  now  that  the  loss  of  its 
master  had  rendered  the  rectory  sad  and  desolate. 

Lamar  waited  a  moment,  and  then  a  red  flush 
crept  over  his  skin.  It  seemed  to  him  no  time  to 
obtrude  his  own  affairs  upon  this  suffering  woman's 
heart ;  yet  he  felt  he  could  not  go  without  one  more 
glimpse  of  Natalie's  beloved  face. 

"  Miss  Wyndham,"  he  said  somewhat  hesitatingly, 
"  my  intention  is  to  return  in  a  few  months  ;  I 
have  your  father's  permission  to  do  so.  You 
understand  ?  " 

Again  Rhea  nodded  and  placed  her  broad,  un- 
shapely hand  in  his. 

"  May  I  see  her  once  more  before  I  go  ?  " 

Rhea  assented.  "  She  is  in  the  study  still,  I 
think,"  she  said.-  "Will  you  go  to  her  there,  or 
shall  I  try  to  induce  her  to  come  here  ? " 

"  No  ;  I  will  go  to  her." 

The  bright,  cheerful  sunlight  had  been  shut  out 
from  the  house  of  mourning,  and  it  was  into  a 
darkened  room  that  Lamar  penetrated,  as,  after 
waiting  in  vain  for  a  response  to  his  low  knock, 
he  opened  the  door  and  entered.  The  room  was 
utterly  still,  and  for  a  moment  Lamar  thought  it 


DOCTOR   LAM  Alt.  225 

untenanted.  But  suddenly,  from  an  obscure  corner, 
there  came  a  sadly  pathetic  little  sound :  a  soft, 
sobbing  breath  such  as  a  slumbering  child  is  wont 
to  draw  after  a  fit  of  weeping. 

With  hushed  tread  Lamar  went  forward  and  dis- 
covered a  low,  chintz-covered  couch,  and  on  it 
Natalie  sound  asleep,  with  tears  still  wet  upon  her 
cheeks.  Her  hair  was  rough  and  disordered,  her 
face  pale,  and  in  her  clasped  hands  a  well-moistened 
handkerchief  bore  token  of  the  grief  which  had 
dampened  it. 

Lamar  stood  fully  five  minutes  gazing  sadly,  ten- 
derly at  her.  His  great  heart  ached  to  comfort  and 
console  her  poor  little  suffering  soul.  There  was 
a  mighty  desire  within  him  to  stoop  and  gather 
her  into  his  strong  arms,  and  make  her  forget  her 
sorrow  through  the  ministration  of  his  love. 

Perhaps  it  had  been  better  for  both  had  he  fol- 
lowed the  promptings  of  his  heart ;  but  the  conven- 
tionalities of  life  have  a  strong  hold  upon  us  all, 
and  so  he  curbed  his  wishes  out  of  honor  to  the 
dead,  and  was  fain  to  content  himself  with  optimistic 
promises  for  the  future.  Finally  he  stooped  and 
drew  the  crumpled  handkerchief  from  her  clasp, 
putting  in  its  place  a  trifle  that  she  had  often 
admired,  —  a  heavy  antique  seal,  with  his  crest  and 


226  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

motto  cut  upon  it ;  an  ornament  which  he  had  been 
wont  to  wear  upon  his  watch-chain.  An  inappro- 
priate offering  to  a  lady,  but  the  only  thing  he 
had  about  him  to  leave  her  as  a  souvenir. 

As  her  soft  fingers  closed  about  it,  she  moved  a 
little  and  murmured  something,  but  her  exhaustion 
was  too  great  to  permit  of  her  awaking. 

Lamar  waited  a  moment  longer,  then,  bending  his 
head,  he  touched  with  gentle  lips  the  intertwined 
fingers,  and  with  careful  step  withdrew  from  the 
room.  Within  ten  minutes  he  was  on  his  way  to 
Liverpool. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  227 


CHAPTER  XII. 

A  YEAR  rolled  swiftly  away  after  the  death  of  the 
good  old  rector  of  Fordham  before  Lamar  could 
cany  out  his  intention  of  returning  to  England.  If 
we  could  but  master  the  minor  accidents  of  life,  its 
larger  events  might  adjust  themselves  more  readily 
to  our  desire. 

So,  had  not  all  sorts  of  contrarieties  impossible  of 
preconception,  and  therefore  of  avoidance,  interposed 
themselves  to  thwart  Lamar's  purpose  of  revisiting 
Fordham  within  six  months,  his  whole  after-life 
might  have  been  vastly  more  conformable  to  the 
delicious  idyl  his  day-dreams  pictured  it  to  be. 

But  of  all  professions  a  physician's  is  the  least 
open  to  calculation.  Valued  patients  will  fall  ill  at 
the  most  unseasonable  and  inconvenient  times ;  pesti- 
lence and  disease  have  a  way  of  intruding  their 
shadowy  forms  between  their  would-be  masters  and 
the  latter's  most  fondly  cherished  purposes,  thereby 
thwarting  them  and  rendering  intention  nugatory. 
So  it  happened  that  twice  six  months  elapsed  before 
Lamar  found  himself  at  leisure  to  fulfil  the  desire 


228  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

of  returning  to  try  his  fortune  with  Natalie — a 
desire  which  an  impatiently  endured  and  protracted 
term  of  separation  had  but  strengthened  into  the  one 
aim  and  purpose  of  his  life. 

He  was  surprised  himself  at  the  hold  the  girl  had 
gained  upon  him.  Love  had  come  into  his  life  so 
late  that  it  quite  set  all  his  preconceived  ideas  of 
existence  at  naught.  He  felt  like  a  blind  man.  who, 
receiving  the  gift  of  vision  after  many  years  passed 
in  darkness,  is  dazzled  by  the  glory  of  a  luminary 
whose  vaunted  glow  and  fire  he  had  hitherto  sus- 
pected to  be  an  exaggeration  of  enthusiasts.  He  was 
overwhelmed  by  the  necessity  of  accommodating  his 
being  to  the  intrusion  of  this  novel  and  bewildering 
force.  He  felt  that  a  new  and  younger  Philip  Lamar 
had  ousted  the  former  from  his  place ;  that  the  tide 
of  fresh  feeling  which- coursed  through  his  veins  was 
a  beneficent  and  rejuvenating  stream  from  the  foun- 
tain of  perpetual  youth. 

Life,  which  hitherto  had  been  a  dull  routine  to  be 
gone  through  with  as  speedily  as  possible,  was  now 
but  a  too  brief  grant,  to  be  prolonged  and  enjoyed  to 
its  utmost  limits.  Nowadays,  when  he  thought  of 
Laura,  it  was  with  a  deeper  regret  and  more  tender 
sympathy,  for  it  seemed  to  him  so  pitiable  that  she 
should  have  gone  into  oblivion  ignorant  of  this  great 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  229 

glory,  which  was,  after  all,  the  one  excuse  for  being, 
the  one  supreme  recompense  for  all  the  ills  and 
wearisome  details  of  life. 

It  was  profoundly  significant  of  the  merely  fra- 
ternal nature  of  his  regard  for  Laura  that  at  times 
he  was  overwhelmed  with  a  desire  for  her  presence, 
that  he  might  discuss  with  her  this  mighty  passion 
that  he  was  experiencing  for  another  woman.  The 
utter  irrationality  of  the  desire  never  occurred  to 
him,  and  when  his  mind  was  at  leisure  to  dwell  upon 
Natalie,  largely  animating  his  reveries  was  the 
regret  that  Laura  might  not  have  seen,  and  loved  too, 
the  sweet  young  maiden  who  so  fulfilled  his  ideal  of 
womanhood. 

For  the  first  few  months  after  his  return  to 
America  he  had  possessed  his  soul  in  patience,  draw- 
ing comfort  from  the  occasional  letters  which  Rhea 
and  Robert  sent  him,  and  which  kept  him  pretty  well 
informed  of  the  course  of  their  lives. 

The  existence  led  by  the  sisters  was  well-nigh 
uneventful.  They  were  still  living  on  at  the  rectory, 
as  the  new  incumbent  was  a  bachelor,  who  did  not 
care  for  so  large  an  establishment  as  the  rambling 
old  structure,  and  who  willingly  allowed  them  to 
retain  it.  Robert's  life,  however,  had  undergone  very 
serious  and  marked  modifications.  Lamar  learned 


230  DOCTOR  LAN  All. 

with  surprise,  not  unmixed  with  disgust,  of  his 
altered  plans. 

On  the  very  eve  of  his  installation  into  his  new 
living,  he  had  relinquished  his  purpose  in  order  to 
go  up  to  London  and  throw  himself  heart  and  soul 
into  the  exacting  work  of  a  parish  amid  the  slums. 
This  Lamar  felt  to  be  well  enough,  for  his  own  incli- 
nations pointed  toward  the  relief  and  assistance  of 
the  masses,  but  when,  a  little  later,  he  received  infor- 
mation from  Rhea  to  the  effect  that  Kobert  had 
attached  himself  to  a  High-Church  brotherhood,  and 
was  on  probation  in  one  of  its  houses,  with  a  view 
to  taking  upon  himself  its  vows  and  obligations,  his 
dismay  and  annoyance  were  so  intense  that  it  was 
many  weeks  before  he  dared  trust  himself  to  write 
Wyndham. 

He  understood,  and,  in  the  light  of  his  newly 
awakened  susceptibilities,  deeply  sympathized  with 
the  cause  which  undoubtedly  had  driven  Robert  to 
this  step ;  but  that  any  man  should,  for  any  reason 
under  the  broad  heavens,  voluntarily  deprive  himself 
of  that  liberty  of  conduct  which  Lamar  felt  to  be 
humanity's  dearest  possession,  was  so  far  beyond  his 
comprehension,  that  his  impatience  and  disgust  ren- 
dered him  quite  intolerant  of  the  very  thought  of  his 
friend. 


DOCTOR  LA  MAR.  231 

After  time  had  somewhat  cooled  his  indignation, 
he  felt  an  urgent  necessity  of  writing  Robert,  and 
seeking  to  dissuade  him  from  his  contemplated  pro- 
ject. This  he  did,  and  a  letter  was  despatched  to  the 
would-be  Bi-other  of  the  Order  of  St.  Paul,  teeming 
with  the  strongest  arguments  which  a  man  of  the 
world  could  urge  against  a  meditated  rejection  of 
temporal  benefits. 

Perhaps  a  less  vigorous  protest  would  have  brought 
forth  better  results.  Earnestness  often  overleaps  its 
aim  by  reason  of  its  own  strength.  Lamar's  pleas 
were  too  vehemently  uttered ;  they  aroused  Robert's 
antagonism.  They  breathed  too  deep  a  contempt 
of  the  forms  and  rituals  which  were  the  very  atmos- 
phere of  the  man's  belief.  Their  evident  intolerance 
of  his  intention  awoke  his  indignation,  and  wounded 
his  jealous  affection  for  the  holy  ceremonials  Lamar 
so  openly  contemned. 

Beside  this,  Rhea's  fears  had  fulfilled  themselves. 
The  sweet  honey  of  Robert's  nature  had,  by  one 
terrible  disappointment,  been  turned  to  gall.  His 
father's  death  could  not  have  come  at  a  more  inoppor- 
tune time  for  him.  The  influence  of  the  old  man's 
broad,  tender  charity  had  never  been  more  sadly 
needed  by  his  son  than  at  the  moment  he  was 
deprived  of  it. 


232  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

Left  to  itself,  the  narrowness  of  Wyndham's  moral 
nature  —  a  narrowness  which  leaned  toward  bigotry 
—  contracted  rapidly,  until  even  Rhea  found  it  diffi- 
cult to  live  up  to  his  exactions,  while  Natalie  did  not 
hesitate  to  proclaim  the  relief  she  felt  when  Robert 
departed  for  London. 

It  is  probable,  therefore,  that  his  increased  religios- 
ity had  greatly  affected  his  former  tolerance  of 
Lamar's  agnosticism,  and  an  ever-augmenting  warmth 
of  remonstrance  which  had  pervaded  his  letters  since 
Lamar's  return  to  America  now  took  occasion  to 
break  forth  into  open  denunciation  and  anathema, 
which  could  not  fail  to  rouse  Lamar's  spirit. 

The  letter  containing  this  fiery  condemnation 
closed  all  communication  between  the  two  men.  But 
through  his  correspondence  with  Rhea,  Lamar  was 
enabled  to  glean  occasional  tidings  of  the  man  whom 
he  had  once  loved  as  a  brother. 

Robert  had  finally  been  received  into  the  order  — 
the  usual  term  of  probation  having  been  abridged  in 
his  case,  owing  to  the  unusual  zeal  he  brought  to  the 
work.  This  fact  had  been  the  prominent  feature  in 
Rhea's  last  letter,  which  was  eloquent  with  the 
natural  regret  and  sorrow  of  a  sister  who  feels  her- 
self bereft  of  a  brother's  intimate  love  and  interest. 
Enclosed  in  the  same  envelope  was  a  tiny  cutting 


DOCTOR  LANAR.  233 

from  the  London  Morning  Post,  which,  after  reading, 
Lainar  crushed  between  his  fingers  with  a  bitter 
malediction.  It  ran  thus :  — 

"At  St.  George's,  Hanover  Sq.,  on  Monday,  the 
16th  inst.,  Eleanor,  eldest  daughter  of  Mr.  Godfrey 

Dunstane,  of  Dunstane  Hall,  shire,  to  Henry 

Reginald  Arthur,  Viscount  Parker."  An  elaborate 
description  of  the  ceremony  followed. 

Since  the  receipt  of  this  communication  a  month 
ago,  Lamar  had  heard  nothing  from  the  Wyndhams. 
But  on  this,  the  eve  of  his  departure  for  England, 
the  fact  did  not  concern  him  greatly.  Within  two 
weeks,  if  luck  were  with  him,  he  should  be  in  Ford- 
ham,  in  the  dear  old  rectory,  holding  a  slim,  girlish 
hand  in  his —  would  it  nutter  a  little  at  his  touch,  he 
wondered?  —  gazing  his  fill  into  a  pair  of  sweet, 
dark  eyes,  whose  lids  perchance  would  fall  beneath 
the  fire  in  his  own  ;  and  assuring  himself  by  the  evi- 
dence of  his  own  senses  that  all  was  well  with  her, 
the  fair,  gentle,  pure  maiden  whose  witcheries  had 
awakened  the  slumbering  soul  in  his  body. 

He  was  sitting  in  his  study,  revelling  in  these 
charming  day-dreams  —  a  new  occupation  for  his 
grave  mind.  Without  in  the  hall  his  one  trunk  stood 
ready  strapped  for  his  journey.  A  sudden  impulse 
came  to  him.  He  rose,  left  the  room,  and,  mounting 


•234  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

the  stairs,  opened  a  door  opposite  the  chamber  which 
had  been  Laura's,  entered  reverently,  as  one  enters 
holy  sanctuary,  and  with  a  touch  upon  the  illumin- 
ator threw  the  room  into  brilliancy. 

It  was  a  charming  apartment.  Fresh,  airy,  and 
daintily  furnished  to  meet  the  requirements  of  a 
young  girl  —  for,  influenced  by  an  optimism  which 
predicted  success  in  his  suit,  Lamar  had  been  led  to 
remodel  and  refurnish  his  whole  house,  with  a  view 
to  its  occupancy  by  Natalie. 

Xow  he  went  from  room  to  room,  turning  each 
into  a  blaze  of  light,  readjusting  draperies  and  orna- 
ments here  and  there  with  an  awkward,  masculine 
touch,  which  wrought  no  improvement  in  the  existing 
order  of  things,  but  which  helped  to  appease  his 
desire  for  perfection.  He  had  been  terribly  critical 
in  the  matter  of  decoration,  and  had  shown  an  anxiety 
regarding  detail  which  had  rendered  the  decorator's 
undertaking  no  easy  task. 

It  had  been  to  him  a  labor  of  love  —  the  only 
method  of  relieving  the  true  lover's  desire  to  load  the 
object  of  his  passion  with  benefits.  While  etiquette 
held  him  in  its  meshes,  he  must  restrain  within  the 
limits  of  future  acceptance  the  eager  impulse  to  heap 
favors  upon  his  beloved.  Therefore,  he  determined 
to  make  her  home  as  beautiful  as  money  could  render 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  235 

it,  and  whenever  he  found  opportunity  he  would 
steal  a  moment  from  his  busy  life  and  search  the 
shops  for  some  unique  and  dainty  ornament  for  the 
shrine  which  was  to  hold  his  idol. 

The  result  of  his  carte  blanche  to  one  of  New 
York's  best  decorators  was  exceedingly  beautiful,  and 
his  tour  of  inspection  was  well-nigh  satisfactory. 
He  could  think  of  only  one  missing  charm  that  could 
give  the  rooms  additional  beauty  :  and  his  heart 
throbbed  a  little  wildly  at  the  thought  of  those 
mirrors  reflecting  the  features  of  that  fair  face,  and 
the  grim,  silent  walls  waking  into  life  and  gayety 
beneath  the  spell  of  a  sweet,  musical  voice.  He  had 
never  allowed  the  thought  of  a  non-successful  issue 
to  his  suit  to  obtrude  itself  upon  his  hopes.  He  was 
naturally  optimistic,  and  his  hitherto  successful 
mastery  of  his  fate  induced  him  to  argue  a  favorable 
result  in  the  coining  crisis. 

Having  finished  a  lingering  inspection  of  the 
house,  he  went  back  to  his  study,  which  alone  would 
have  presented  a  familiar  aspect  to  Laura's  returning 
spirit.  Of  all  the  house  this  room  only  preserved 
the  stiff  angularity  which  had  formerly  characterized 
every  apartment.  He  had  failed  to  work  off  his 
unusual  excitability  by  the  means  he  had  just  prac- 
tised—  indeed,  if  anything,  his  spirits  had  received 


236  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

an  accession  of  animation  from  his  late  proceedings 
—  so,  with  the  physician's  instinct  he  laid  his  finger 
on  his  pulse,  and  gave  a  short,  amused  laugh  at  find- 
ing how  it  had  exceeded  its  ordinary  calm,  steady  pace. 

"  Who  would  have  believed  that  I  could  become 
such  a  weak,  lovesick  fool  ?"  he  muttered  to  himself, 
but  not  with  scorn,  rather  with  a  thrill  of  exultation 
in  the  assurance  that  he  was  not  yet  too  old  to  ex- 
perience the  divine  passion. 

This  last  week  had  been  interminably  long  to  him. 
Gradually,  during  it,  he  had  been  relinquishing  his 
duties  into  other  hands ;  by  degrees  ridding  his 
shoulders  of  their  yoke.  He  pulled  out  his  watch 
and  glanced  at  it. 

"  Nine  o'clock  only  ! "  he  murmured  in  dismay. 
"Too  early  to  go  to  bed.  I'm  altogether  too  excited 
to  sleep.  Hallo !  the  bell !  By  Jove,  I  almost  hope 
it's  a  patient !  It  would  give  me  something  to  do." 
But  it  was  not.  A  moment  later  the  butler 
announced  :  — 

"The  Rev.  Mr.  Grafton,  sir,"  and,  to  Lamar's  un- 
bounded astonishment,  the  "  Rev.  Derrick  "  himself 
entered  the  room,  and  approached  his  host  with  an 
extended  hand  which  shook  somewhat  nervously,  by 
reason  of  an  emotion  that  manifested  itself  also  on 
his  handsome  face. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  237 

• 

"  Mr.  Grafton ! "  exclaimed  Laraar  in  great  sur- 
prise. "  This  is  indeed  a  most  unexpected  pleasure. 
I  did  not  know  you  were  in  America." 

A  flush  crept  over  the  young  fellow's  face. 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  I  have  been  here  two  months  or  more. 
I  should  have  called  upon  you  before,  but  — "  he 
hesitated  a  moment,  then  continued  frankly,  though 
hurriedly,  as  if  this  explanation  were  but  an  unwel- 
come delay  in  the  purpose  of  his  present  visit  —  "  to 
tell  you  the  truth,  Dr.  Lamar,  I  came  over  here  be- 
cause I  was  too  hard  hit  to  remain  in  England,  and 
I  did  not  come  to  see  you  because  I  did  not  want  to 
be  reminded  of  Natalie.  Now,  sir,  for  God's  sake, 
tell  me,  how  is  she  ?  " 

His  voice  broke,  and  Lamar  was  pained  f  and 
shocked  to  see  how  worn  and  haggard  the  young 
curate  looked. 

"  How  is  she  ?  "  he  repeated ;  "  why,  very  well,  I 
suppose.  I  have  heard  nothing  from  Fordham  for  a 
month,  but  they  were  all  well  then." 

Derrick  started  to  his  feet. 

"  What ! "  he  cried.  "  You  have  not  heard  of  the 
accident  ?  "  He  drew  a  breath  of  relief.  "  You  are 
not  then,  as  I  supposed,  engaged  to  her  ?  " 

A  cold  hand  seemed  to  grasp  Lamar's  heart,  and 
his  face  grew  white  with  apprehension. 


238  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

11  The  accident  !  "  he  repeated  mechanically. 
"  What  accident  ?  " 

"  Did  you  not  know  that  a  couple  of  weeks  ago,  as 
Natalie  was  trying  a  new  horse  Miss  Wyndham  had 
given  her,  the  beast  took  fright  at  a  bicycle,  bolted, 
and  threw  her  into  an  ugly  ditch  ?  Dicky  Dunstane 
was  with  her,  and  managed  to  get  her  home  on  a 
litter,  with  the  help  of  some  men  who  Avere  at  work, 
on  the  road.  They  sent  for  a  London  surgeon,  but 
he  gave  Miss  Wyndham  little  encouragement.  It  is 
some  terrible  spinal  trouble." 

Lamar  sat  and  listened  stupidly,  his  mind  scarcely 
grasping  the  overwhelming  fact  that  Natalie,  his 
own,  the  woman  whom  out  of  all  the  world  he  had 
elected  to  be  his  wife,  the  one  object  toward  which 
for  over  a  year  his  every  aim,  thought,  wish,  and 
purpose  had  tended,  was  perhaps  even  now  abso- 
lutely nothing  but  dust.  The  news  had  come  too 
suddenly  upon  his  joyous  exaltation.  It  stunned 
him.  He  looked  Derrick  almost  vacantly  in  the 
face.  His  one  coherent  thought  was  that  there 
must  be  some  mistake. 

"  Are  you  sure  ?  "  he  asked  dully.  Then  a  sudden 
change  came  over  him.  His  whole  frame  quivered, 
and  his  face  worked  convulsively.  He  sprang  to  his 
feet  and  grasped  the  young  fellow  by  the  shoulder. 


DOCTOR  LAMAB.  239 

"  What  is  this  you  say  ? "  he  almost  shouted. 
"Natalie  injured  fatally!  dead  even  now,  perhaps! 
Do  you  know,  young  man,  what  this  is  you  are  tell- 
ing me  ?  It  is  false,  I  tell  you  !  Do  you  not  think 
I  should  have  heard  of  it  before  this  ?  " 

He  looked  quite  savage  in  his  intense  agitation. 
His  grasp  tightened  on  Derrick's  shoulder,  and  he 
all  but  shook  him,  as  if  he  would  force  a  denial 
from  his  lips.  But  Grafton  shook  his  head  sadly; 
his  own  emotion  seemed,  even  to  himself,  a  pale 
shadow  of  this  greater  passion. 

"  I  wish  it  were ! "  he  replied.  "  From  the  bottom 
of  my  heart  I  wish  so ;  but  there  is  no  chance  of  a 
mistake.  I  had  a  letter  yesterday  from  Lady  Mary, 
telling  me  of  it,  and  I  cabled  at  once  for  news,  and 
got  an  answer  this  morning  from  Miss  Wyndham 
herself.  Here  it  is."  He  drew  a  cablegram  from  his 
letter-case  and,  opening  it,  read,  — 

" '  Little  hope.  Suffers  terribly.  Fear  the  worst. 
E.  Wyndham.' " 

Lamar  dropped  into  his  chair,  and  sat  gazing 
blankly  at  the  brilliant  hues  of  a  Turkish  rug, 
saying  nothing,  but  trying  to  calm  the  storm  that 
was  raging  within  him  ;  trying  to  call  that  great, 
strong  reason  to  his  aid,  to  summon  that  mighty 
mind  that  had  heretofore  been  his  sole  god,  to  the 


240  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

assistance  of  his  tortured  spirit.  He  wrestled  with 
himself,  trying  vainly  to  subdue  the  passion  of  his 
soul.  Never  before  had  he  endured  a  crisis  such  as 
this,  when  reflection,  judgment,  reason,  all  forsook 
him,  and  left  him  stranded  on  the  shifting  sands  of 
passion. 

He  could  not  bring  himself  to  consider  even  the 
nature  of  the  injuries  Natalie  might  have  sustained. 
One  thought  alone  filled  his  mind,  excluding  all 
others;  it  was  that  she,  the  woman  whom  he  had 
grown  in  the  last  twelve  months  to  consider  almost 
as  part  of  himself,  that  lovely,  joyous  creature  who 
had  seemed  the  very  embodiment  of  life  and  health, 
was  lying  shattered  and  suffering  —  if  indeed  she 
lived  at  all  —  on  a  bed  whence  she  probably  would 
never  again  arise. 

After  -a  little  he  raised  his  eyes  and  looked  at 
Derrick,  who  was  sitting  silent,  buried  in  his  own 
reflections. 

"  I  was  going  to  sail  to-morrow,"  he  said  simply. 

"  You  will  still  go  ?  "  Derrick  hazarded.  "  My 
God  !  I  wish  I  might  too ;  but  I  can't.  I'm  doing 
duty  for  a  man  in  New  Jersey,  who  has  gone  to  be 
married.  Besides,  there's  no  use  in  my  going." 

The  bitter  hopelessness  in  the  young  priest's  tone 
smote  Lamar  with  a  sense  of  his  own  selfishness. 
He  held  out  his  hand  to  the  other. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  241 

"There  may  be  none  in  mine,  either,"  he  said. 
"Of  course  I  shall  go,  as  you  say.  But,  Mr.  Grafton, 
you  will  pardon  me  if  I  suggest  that  your  condition 
is  more  enviable  than  mine.  Your  fate  has  been 
already  sealed ;  my  doom  yet  awaits  me." 

Dr.  Larnar  arrived  in  Liverpool  on  a  wet,  dreary 
September  evening,  and  was  obliged  to  wait  over 
night  for  a  train  which  should  make  the  proper  con- 
nections for  Fordham.  As.  long  as  he  lived  that 
ocean  voyage  remained  stamped  on  his  memory  as  the 
most  unendurable  period  of  his  existence.  The  sus- 
pense and  inaction  had  been  terrible  to  bear,  and 
the  enforced  delay  to  his  impetuous  anxiety  was 
horrible. 

He  could  not  understand  why  Rhea  had  neglected 
to  cable  him  tidings  of  the  accident,  and  felt  angry 
and  resentful  at  the  thought  that  had  he  been  ap- 
prised at  once  of  the  fact,  he  might  have  been  in 
Fordham  at  the  very  moment  of  Grafton's  visit  to 
him.  Immediately  upon  the  steamer's  arrival  he 
telegraphed  to  Miss  Wyndham,  asking  for  news 
and  announcing  his  coming.  The  reply,  signed  by 
Robert,  was  partially  reassuring  in  that  it  informed 
him  that  Natalie  was  still  living,  though  in  a  most 
precarious  condition. 

It  seemed  to  Lauiar  that  if  he  could  once  reach 


242  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Fordham,  Natalie  must  mend.  Wliat  was  all  his 
science  worth  if  it  could  not  be  of  practical  benefit 
in  this  great  emergency  ?  And  yet,  since  the  mo- 
ment that  Grafton  had  broken  the  terrible  news  to 
him,  a  dark  cloud  had  obscured  the  cheery  horizon  of 
his  hopes.  His  optimism  had  quite  vanished,  and, 
try  as  he  would,  he  found  it  impossible  to  revive 
those  charming  day-dreams  of  the  future,  which  had 
been  forever  dissipated  by  the  cabalistic  signs  upon 
a  bit  of  paper.  Read  by  Grafton,  and  construed  by 
his  own  foreboding  spirit,  these  had  signified  ruin 
and  destruction  to  all  his  beautiful  air-castles. 

Barker  met  him  at  the  Fordham  station  in  the 
well-remembered  dog-cart,  and  the  tears  stood  in  the 
old  fellow's  eyes  in  response  to  Lamar's  eager  ques- 
tion. 

"  Yes,  sir,"  he  replied,  drawing  his  sleeve  across 
his  face.  "She's  just  living,  is  Miss  Natalie,  and 
that's  about  all." 

Robert  came  out  to  greet  him  as  the  cart  drew  up 
before  the  porch,  and,  although  his  manner  was 
studiously  polite,  Lamar  at  once  felt  the  reserve 
which  estrangement  had  wrought  in  it.  But  anxiety 
concerning  Natalie  rendered  him  indifferent  to  a 
coldness  which  was  more  than  compensated  for  by 
Rhea's  glad  cordiality.  With  both  hands  extended 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  243 

in  earnest  welcome,  she  came  to  him  in  the  dear, 
familiar  sitting-room,  which,  of  itself,  breathed 
kindly  greeting  to  the  exhausted  traveller. 

"Oh,  Dr.  Lamar!  Why,  why  did  you  not  come 
before  ?  "  she  cried  reproachfully.  "  I  have  so 
longed  for  your  advice  and  sympathy." 

Lamar  looked  at  her  in  surprise. 

"Why?"  he  repeated  somewhat  indignantly,  for 
he  was  still  sore  at  the  thought  of  the  state  of  igno- 
rance in  which  he  had  been  kept,  "  why,  Miss  Wynd- 
ham,  can  you  imagine  any  reason  delaying  my  coming 
to  Natalie  save  the  real  one,  that  I  was  not  apprised 
of  her  accident  ?  " 

Khea  appeared  confounded. 

"  Not  apprised  !  "  she  exclaimed,  echoing  his  words 
in  her  turn.  "  But  that  is  impossible,  for  I  both 
cabled  and  wrote  to  you.  Surely,  there  is  some  mys- 
tery about  it ! " 

Lamar  felt  that  he  had  solved  the  mystery,  though 
he  kept  his  suspicions  to  himself,  when  he  learned 
that  both  letter  and  cablegram  had  been  intrusted  to 
the  care  of  Kobert  for  despatch.  Evidently  Father 
Wyndham,  as  he  was  now  called,  was  of  the  Jesuitical 
opinion  that  the  result  of  shielding  his  sisters  from 
contamination  with  a  heretic  was  sufficiently  desirable 
to  justify  the  application  of  any  means  which  might 
come  within  his  scope. 


244  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

However,  this  became  of  no  consequence  to  Lamar, 
now  that  he  was  on  the  scene  of  action.  With  his 
entrance  into  the  house  of  illness  all  minor  consider- 
ations, all  personal  and  selfish  preoccupations  were 
lost  sight  of  iii  the  one  engrossing  subject  of  the  suf- 
ferer, and  her  possible  restoration  to  —  health,.  I  was 
about  to  say,  but  life  is  a  fitter  word.  One  sharp, 
professional  glance  assured  Lamar  that  health  was  a 
word  to  be  henceforth  erased  from  the  vocabulary 
of  Natalie's  personal  experience.  He  must  fain  be 
content,  he  reluctantly  admitted,  with  restoring  her 
to  life  —  for  such,  her  present  existence,  with  its  con- 
dition of  opium-induced  unconsciousness,  could  scarce 
be  called. 

He  made  a  thorough  examination  of  the  inert,  deli- 
cate frame,  while  Natalie  lay  in  a  heavy  stupor  which- 
precluded  knowledge  of  his  presence  or  actions.  His 
diagnosis  concluded,  he  stood  and  gazed  for  a  few 
moments  down  upon  the  sweet  face,  whereon  the 
shadows  of  suffering  were  heavily  painted  beneath 
the  sunken  eyes.  He  was  unwilling,  unable,  indeed, 
to  turn  and  confront  the  eager  questioning  of  Rhea's 
face,  while  his  own  features  were  working  with  the 
agony  of  acquiescence  in  the  hopeless  verdict  of  the 
English  surgeons. 

Finally  Rhea  could  bear  it  no  longer.     The  torture 


DOCTOR  LAM  Alt.  2-15 

of  suspense  overcame  her  consideration  for  his  suffer- 
ing. She  touched  him  on  the  sleeve. 

"  Well  ?  "  she  whispered,  charging  the  monosyllable 
with  all  the  apprehension  of  her  soul. 

He  started  and  turned  upon  her  a  drawn,  haggard 
face,  over  which  self-control  had  lost  the  mastery. 

"  Well ! "  he  repeated  in  a  harsh,  broken  voice. 
"  Well !  No ;  ill,  ill,  Rhea !  ill,  beyond  my  worst  fears. 
Look  at  her,  look  long  and  well  at  her  as  she  lies 
there  stricken  beyond  the  power  of  human  help,  and 
then  go  and  prove  the  omnipotence  of  the  Saviour  you 
worship.  Go,  Rhea,  pray,  beg,  beseech  Him  to  send 
down  some  of  His  healing  grace  and  raise  her ;  for, 
in  truth,  nothing  short  of  a  miracle  can  restore  her 
to  her  former  condition.  Here  is  a  chance,  Rhea ! 
Let  your  God  do  this  thing,  and  I  swear  Him  my 
allegiance.  Let  Him  give  but  life  —  I  will  not  demand 
strength  and  health,  only  continued  existence  —  to 
her,  the  -only  being  on  earth  I  have  ever  really  loved, 
and  by  the  gods  I  swear  to  consecrate  my  life  to  His 
service  for  the  rest  of  its  term  ! " 

He  paused,  and  burst  into  a  short,  contemptuous 
laugh.  Then  his  mood  changed ;  he  threw  out  his 
arms,  and  his  face  quivered  convulsively.  He  made 
a  strong  effort  over  himself,  but  in  vain.  The  tide  of 
emotion  was  too  powerful  to  be  stemmed.  He  sank 


246  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

upon  his  knees  beside  the  bed  and  burst  into  a  storm 
of  heavy,  deep  sobs,  while  he  cried  passionately,  — 

"  Oh,  Natalie,  my  darling  !  my  dearest !  To  think 
that  this  should  be  the  ending  of  it  all ! " 

Unwilling  to  remain  a  witness  of  a  strong  man's 
unwonted  weakness,  Rhea,  her  own  face  streaming 
with  tears,  laid  her  comforting,  sympathetic  touch 
for  a  moment  on  his  head,  arid  then  stole  softly  from 
the  room. 

Since  then  there  had  been  no  allusion  to  the  proba- 
ble result  of  Natalie's  illness  between  them.  To- 
gether they  watched  beside  her  ;  together  they  nursed 
her  and  ministered  to  her  needs.  Co-operating  with 
the  surgeon  already  in  charge,  Lamar  brought  to  her 
service  all  his  vast  medical  erudition,  all  his  profes- 
sional skill,  knowledge,  and  experience. 

After  that  one  confession  of  hopelessness,  he  seemed 
to  take  a  brighter  view  of  the  case.  Whether  to  cheer 
Rhea  or  encourage  himself,  he  asserted  a  belief  in  the 
possibility  of  saving  Natalie.  His  old  combativeness 
had  become  aroused,  and  the  faith  in  himself,  which 
had  been  of  great  service  to  him  throughout  his  career, 
now  came  to  his  aid.  Whether  he  really  deceived 
himself  is  doubtful,  but  at  least  he  greatly  eased  Rhea's 
apprehensions,  and  made  her  task  of  nursing  much 
lighter  by  investing  it  with  brighter  promise. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  247 

But  he  felt  his  position  in  the  household  an  anoma- 
lous one.  Although,  owing  to  the  fact  that  Robert 
was  absent  in  London  the  greater  part  of  the  time, 
Lamar  had  taken  up  his  quarters  in  the  village,  yet, 
virtually,  he  lived  at  the  rectory.  His  constant  pres- 
ence there,  he  knew,  must  occasion  comment,  unless 
it  were  authorized  by  the  announcement  of  his  engage- 
ment to  Natalie.  In  her  present  condition  it  was  of 
course  impossible  to  seek  to  win  the  girl's  own  con- 
sent, as,  owing  to  the  necessity  for  perfect  composure, 
it  had  been  deemed  advisable  not  to  acquaint  her  with 
the  fact  of  Lamar's  arrival. 

Any  doubts  concerning  her  attitude  toward  him 
were,  however,  quite  set  at  rest  by  Rhea's  candid 
avowal :  — 

"My  little  girl  loves  you,  Dr.  Lamar,"  she  said 
frankly.  "  She  confessed  as  much  to  me  long  ago." 

This  was  in  reply  to  a  question  which  Lamar  put 
to  her  after  he  had  been  in  Fordham  but  a  few  hours. 

"  Rhea,"  he  had  said,  for  it  was  easier  to  address 
her  by  the  home  name  since  a  common  grief  had  so 
closely  united  them,  "you  were  aware  of  my  purpose 
in  coming  to  England  again,  and  you  tacitly  sanctioned 
my  coming,  therefore  I  argued  that  you  had  faith  in 
the  success  of  my  suit  with  Natalie.  Was  I  right  ?  " 

Then  Rhea  had  acknowledged  the  fact  of  Natalie's 


248  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

love,  adding,  "  Oh,  Dr.  Lamar,  even  loving  her  as  you 
do,  you  have  but  little  conception  of  the  pure,  gentle 
heart  you  have  won.  She  is  sweetness  and  purity  per- 
sonified. Never,  since  her  birth,  has  she  given  me  a 
moment's  anxiety  or  solicitude.  Her  nature  is  exqui- 
sitely tender  and  tractable,  and  it  breaks  my  heart  to 
think  of  losing  her.  My  dear  little  Natalie  !  Dr. 
Lamar,  how  am  I  to  live  without  her  ?  " 

"  Live  without  her ! "  Lamar  had  repeated  vehe- 
mently. "  Hush  !  Do  not  even  harbor  the  thought 
for  an  instant.  She  shall  not  die.  What  are  all  my 
long  years  of  study  and  labor  worth,  if  they  cannot 
preserve  to  me  this  one  life,  this  existence  that  is  far 
dearer  to  me  then  my  own  ?  Ehea,  she  shall  live,  I 
tell  you ;  I  will  have  it  so.  All  the  leagued  powers 
of  heaven  and  hell,  if  such  there  be,  shall  not  prevail 
against  me.  I  defy  death  to  take  her  from  me !  " 

Miss  Wyndham  turned  a  very  grave  face  upon  him. 
It  was  the  first  time  his  atheism  had  practically  mani- 
fested itself  to  her. 

"  Hush,  hush ! "  she  protested  in  a  shocked  tone. 
"  You  are  blasphemous.  Death  you  may  hold  in 
abeyance  by  your  great  skill,  but  remember  there  is 
One,  the  sole  Master  of  life  and  death,  before  whose 
will  the  mightiest  acquirements  of  science  must  yield 
themselves  vanquished.  Dr.  Lamar,  my  love  for 


DOCTOR  LAM  Alt.  249 

Natalie  is,  of  its  kind,  as  great  and  tenacious  as  yours  ; 
yet,  if  it  be  God's  will  that  she  be  taken  from  me,  I 
would  not  thwart  it  even  by  a  wish." 

The  possibility  of  losing  Natalie  had  worked  Lamar 
into  a  fierce  passion  of  rebellion. 

"  And  if  it  be  the  will  of  all  the  gods  who  have  ever 
been  worshipped  on  this  earth,  from  the  earliest  cen- 
turies, that  she  shall  die  and  leave  me,"  he  exclaimed, 
crossing  his  arms  over  his  broad  chest,  while  a  set  look 
of  defiance  glowed  in  his  gray  eyes  and-curved  his  lips 
into  fierce  determination,  "I  say  she  shall  not,  and 
challenge  them  to  do  their  worst !  " 

Rhea  shuddered  and  turned  pale. 

"  Don't,  don't ! "  she  cried,  instinctively  putting  her 
hands  over  her  ears  to  shut  out  his  words.  "Dr. 
Lamar,  you  will  call  down  vengeance  from  heaven, 
and  it  will  prove  itself  upon  my  child  You  almost 
make  me  feel  it  wrong  to  trust  her  in  your  keeping. 
How  can  I  tell  what  may  be  the  effect  of  your  influ- 
ence upon  her  ?  Even  now  I  have  my  suspicion  of 
her  faith.  She  has  shown  of  late  a  tendency  to  ques- 
tion our  established  belief  which  has  frightened  me. 
Promise  me,  nay,  swear  to  me,  —  ah  !  I  forgot,  no  oath 
would  be  binding  to  you,  —  yet  your  promise  is  enough, 
for,  did  I  not  trust  and  honor  you  implicitly,  I  would 
hide  my  child  from  you,  rather  than  that  you  should 


250  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

endanger  her  soul  —  promise  me  then,  on  your  honor, 
that  never  by  word  or  deed  will  you  seek  to  tamper  with 
or  influence  her  belief  in  God.  My  father  loved  and 
trusted  you,  Dr.  Lamar,  and  so  do  I.  He  was  willing 
to  give  Natalie  to  you,  feeling  confident  of  the  integrity 
of  her  faith,  and  hoping  much  from  its  effect  upon  you. 
I  would  give  her  to  you,  too,  for  I  feel  that  she  loves 
you  and  I  can  refuse  her  nothing ;  but  I  give  with  a 
weaker  and  less  assured  heart  than  his,  for  I  know 
the  naturally  pliant  nature  of  ray  child." 

Laniar's  passion  faded  and  died  quite  out  before 
the  calm,  steady  glow  in  Rebecca  Wyndham's  eyes. 
His  own  softened  with  a  warm,  radiant  light.  He 
took  Rhea's  hand  in  one  of  his  and  laid  his  other 
upon  it. 

"  You  say  that  I  hold  nothing  sufficiently  sacred  to 
give  an  oath  weight,"  he  said ;  "  you  are  very  wrong. 
The  ordinary  oaths  by  which  men  swear  would  scarcely 
bind  me,  I  admit ;  but  there  are  many  things  in  this 
world  which  command  my  respect  and  reverence  suf- 
ficiently to  sanctify  them  to  my  regard.  One  of  these 
is  the  nobility  and  unselfishness  of  your  devotion  to 
Natalie  ;  another  is  the  purity  of  her  own  innocent 
spirit.  By  these  two  virtues  I  swear  to  you,  Miss 
Wyndham,  that  never,  voluntarily,  will  I  in  any  way 
distress  the  one  or  tarnish  the  other.  Believe  me, 
you  may  trust  to  my  honor." 


DOCTOR   LAM  Alt.  251 

He  bent  his  head  and  sealed  his  promise  with  a 
light  touch  of  his  lips  upon  her  hand. 

Meeting  the  earnest  assurance  of  his  eyes,  she  did 
believe  him,  and  told  him  so.  Then  they  fell  to  talk- 
ing of  Robert,  and  Lamar  could  see  how  great  a  grief 
to  the  sister  was  the  change  in  him. 

"  I  should  not  care  for  his  joining  the  order,  and 
could  reconcile  myself  to  the  alienation  which  must 
be  its  consequence  to  us,  if  it  were  not  for  the  miser- 
able change  in  him.  His  altered  mode  of  life  has  not 
made  him  happier,  and  his  disappointment  in  Eleanor 
has  so  wretchedly  affected  his  whole  nature.  He  has 
thrown  himself  into  his  new  duties  with  an  ardor 
which  speaks  volumes  for  the  recklessness  that  is  con- 
suming him.  Dr.  Lamar,  you  can  see  how  different 
he  is  from  my  bright,  happy-hearted  boy.  Father 
Wyndham  has  little  in  common  with  your  friend  and 
my  brother  Robert." 

"  Yes ;  it  is  a  sad  change.  I  should  like  to  see 
Miss  Dunstane  and  give  her  a  small  piece  of  my 
mind.  What  a  poor  sort  of  creature  she  must  be  ! " 

Rhea  sighed. 

"Poor  Eleanor!"  she  said;  "I  cannot  help  pitying 
her.  She  is  Lady  Parker  now,  but  I  fear  she  is  far 
from  happy." 

"Serves  her  right,"   returned  Lamar  with   scant 


252  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

sympathy.  "  By  the  way,  Rhea,  I  am  going  to  speak 
to  Robert  about  Natalie,  and  ask  his  consent  to  my 
engagement  to  her,  if  she  will  have  me.  I  am  afraid 
I  shall  have  some  trouble  with  him." 

Rhea  looked  gravely  apprehensive. 

"  Yes,  I  am  afraid  you  will,"  she  admitted  frankly. 
"He  is  growing  terribly  narrow  and  bigoted.  How- 
'ever,  I  believe  he  still  loves  you." 

"  Well,  I  shall  try  him  to-morrow,  if  he  comes  down. 
What  if  he  refuses  me,  Rhea  ?  " 

Miss  Wyndham's  expression  grew  yet  more  anxious 
and  troubled.  She  waited  before  replying,  as  if  con- 
sidering the  subject  carefully.  Finally  she  drew  a 
long  breath :  evidently  the  conclusion  was  painfully 
difficult. 

"  It  will  be  most  unfortunate  and  may  even  cause  a 
breach  between  him  and  us  ;  yet  I  cannot  bid  you 
abide  by  his  decision  when  you  have  already  obtained 
the  sanction  of  my  father's  approval,  and  have  also 
won  Natalie's  love." 

A  look  of  relief  crossed  Lamar's  face,  and  he  pressed 
Rhea's  hand  closely. 

"  How  can  I  ever  reward  you  for  your  goodness  to 
me  ?  "  he  said.  "  No  man  ever  had  a  stancher  friend, 
and  I  shall  try  to  prove  my  gratitude  to  you  in  the 
future." 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  253 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

THE  change  in  Kobert  Wyndham  was  indeed  a 
marked  one,  and  its  outward  manifestation  could  not 
but  arouse  one's  sympathies  in  behalf  of  the  terrible 
suffering  which  alone  could  have  produced  it.  All 
the  bright  buoyancy  of  the  face  had  fled  forever,  and 
every  line  of  its  contour  appeared  to  have  undergone 
alteration.  Suffering  repressed  and  consuming,  dis- 
appointment bitter  and  acute,  had  set  their  rigid  seals 
upon  his  cheery  countenance  and  marked  its  once 
boyish  features  for  their  own. 

The  face  had  grown  thin  and  sharp  of  outline,  the 
eyes  had  quite  lost  their  customary  twinkle  of  merri- 
ment, and  a  feverish  sparkle  of  nervous  restlessness 
glittered  in  their  glance.  The  thick  brown  hair  had 
already  begun  to  fall  away  from  his  brow,  giving 
indication  of  the  near  appearance  of  a  natural 
tonsure. 

The  garb  of  his  order  accentuated  the  unfamiliarity 
of  his  aspect,  and  helped  to  mark  the  distance  which 
Larnar  felt  the  past  year  had  set  between  them.  It 
seemed  to  him  incredible  that  s,o  short  a  time  could 


254  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

have  effected  such  a  change  in  any  human  being. 
His  heart  ached  for  the  man  who  showed  such  evi- 
dent signs  of  the  shipwreck  of  all  his  hopes  and  pur- 
poses. Unnatural  and  irrational  as  Robert's  change 
of  plan  appeared  to  him,  he  could  not  but  sympathize 
with  the  desperate  suffering  which  had  effected  it. 

And  desperate  indeed  had  been  the  suffering  which 
Robert  Wyndham  had  undergone.  So  natural  had  it 
been  to  him  to  associate  Eleanor  Dunstane's  life  with 
his  own,  so  implicit  had  been  his  faith  in  her  love 
and  in  the  ideal  he  had  so  long  worshipped,  that  a 
realization  of  the  fallacy  of  his  hopes,  a  disclosure  of 
the  feet  of  clay  which  supported  the  beautiful  image 
of  his  aspirations,  had  given  his  whole  being  a  shock 
from  which  it  was  too  weak  to  react. 

Not  love  of  God,  but  hatred  of  woman,  had  driven 
him  into  the  brotherhood  of  St.  Paul.  All  the  time 
he  was  practising  the- fasts  and  vigils,  performing  the 
arduous  duties  and  offices  of  his  new  career,  his  heart 
was  burning  with  despair  and  vindictiveness,  his  soul 
was  crying  out  against  the  woman  who  had  ruined 
his  life,  his  manhood  was  in  revolt  against  the  re- 
straints and  restrictions  imposed  upon  it  by  his  new 
vows.  The  flesh  was  militant'  against  the  spirit,  the 
heart  against  the  brain. 

What  wonder,  then,  that  after  twelve   months  of 


DOCTOR  LAM  All.  255 

such  wrestling,  the  man  was  scarcely  recognizable  in 
the  priest  ?  What  wonder  that  the  broader  avenues 
of  his  nature  had,  for  want  of  use,  become  clogged 
with  ugly  weeds,  while  narrow  paths  alone  gave 
access  to  the  citadel  of  his  soul  ? 

Kobert  came  down  from  London  late  in  the  after- 
noon of  the  day  after  Lamar  had  announced  his 
intention  of  offering  himself  as  Natalie's  future  hus- 
band. His  manner  to  Lamar  was  as  coldly  courteous 
and  forbiddingly  negative  as  it  had  been  ever  since 
the  latter' s  arrival.  Not  a  trace  of  the  old-time 
warmth  and  familiarity  characterized  it.  Evidently 
to  him,  a  self-righteous  servant  of  God,  Lamar  was  a 
deadly  foe,  whose  approaches  were  to  be  contested  at 
every  point. 

After  dinner,  over  which  there  was  no  temptation 
to  linger  as  in  former  days,  Lamar  requested  his 
unwilling  host  —  for  such,  at  least  in  part,  Father 
Wyndham  was  —  to  grant  him  an  interview  upon  a 
subject  of  importance.  Apparently  the  demand  was 
an  unpleasant  one  to  the  priest,  for  he  knit  his  brows, 
and  a  look  of  annoyance  clouded  his  face.  Undoubt- 
edly he  divined  the  nature  of  the  subject  about  to  be 
entered  upon,  and  Lamar  felt  that  his  curt,  brief 
assent  boded  little  encouragement  to  the  success  of 
his  suit. 


256  DOCTOR  LAMAIl. 

They  adjourned  to  the  old  study  where  Lamar  had 
taken  his  silent  farewell  of  Natalie.  As  the  door 
closed  upon  the  two  men  who  had  once  been  such 
close  and  congenial  friends,  Lamar  experienced  a 
decidedly  uncomfortable  feeling  of  constraint  and 
awkwardness.  The  room  was  lighted  only  by  a  Ger- 
man student's  lamp,  and  the  gloom  had  a  discour- 
aging effect  upon  his  spirits. 

He  felt  that  no  rapport  existed  between  him  and 
his  companion.  This  Father  Wyndham,  with  his 
wan,  ascetic  countenance  and  grave  air  and  deport- 
ment, gave  him  no  sense  of  familiarity  or  acquaint- 
anceship. It  would  have  been  far  easier  to  broach 
his  subject  to  an  entire  stranger  than  to  this  man 
whose  unnatural  austerity  chilled  his  ardor. 

He  hazarded  one  or  two  irrelevant  remarks  upon 
past  mutual  experiences,  hoping  to  summon  up  a 
remembrance  of  their  former  friendship,  which 
should  breed  a  more  congenial  atmosphere  ;  but  the 
priest  seemed  indisposed  to  dwell  upon  the  topics, 
and  responded  so  briefly  to  Lamar' s  "do  you  remem- 
bers," that  the  latter  finally  abandoned  his  attempt 
to  help  his  cause  by  the  aid  of  ghostly  reminiscences. 

They  had  seated  themselves  on  either  side  of  the 
broad  study  table,  upon  which  so  many  of  the  rector's 
sound,  liberal  sermons  had  been  written  that  it  should 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  257 

have  preserved  sufficient  of  his  personal  influence  to 
shed  a  spirit  of  charity  and  benevolence  throughout 
the  room.  Eobert  had  dropped  his  head  back  against 
the  chair-cushion  and,  having  trusted  perhaps  in  the 
gloom  of  the  apartment  to  conceal  the  expression  of 
his  face,  had  abandoned  his  usual  stern  control  over 
its  features,  and  had  allowed  all  the  weariness  and 
wretchedness  which  were  consuming  his  life  to  show 
forth  upon  its  lineaments.  He  looked  almost  like  an 
old  man,  and  Lamar  felt  himself  stirred  with  pity 
and  the  desire  to  help  him. 

"  Bob,"  he  said  suddenly,  after  an  awkward  pause, 
"  see  here,  old  fellow,  I  wish  I  could  do  something  to 
put  an  end  to  this  coldness  between  us.  I  never 
thought  our  friendship  should  end  this  way." 

The  priest  started,  and  a  flush  dyed  his  face  for  a 
moment.  He  involuntarily  stretched  out  his  hand  to 
meet  the  one  Lamar  extended,  but  drew  it  back 
again  with  a  violent  effort  of  self-repression,  and 
clasped  its  long,  thin  fingers  within  those  of  its 
fellow.  Lamar  saw  the  movement  and  understood  it. 
He  turned  away  with  a  little  shrug,  but  with  an 
expression  of  real  regret  on  his  face. 

"  You  won't  have  me  again  at  any  price  ?  "  he  said 
with  a  short,  abrupt  laugh.  "  Well,  I  am  sorry ;  for, 
Robert,  I  am  in  special  need  of  your  friendly  offices." 


258  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

The  words  appeared  to  kindle  a  certain  hope  in 
the  priest's  soul.  A  gleam  of  pleasure  lighted  his 
face  into  some  resemblance  to  its  former  bright- 
ness. 

"  Do  you  mean,"  he  asked  quickly,  "  that  you 
want  my  help  in  religious  matters  ?  If  so,  Philip, 
you  shall  have  all  the  best  there  is  in  me  to  per- 
suade you  into  the  true  path." 

Lamar  shook  his  head  impatiently,  and  Robert  fell 
back  again,  bitterly  disappointed.  The  old  love  for 
this  heretic  was  a  dangerous  foe  for  him  to  cope 
with. 

"  No,"  replied  Lamar ;  "  I  am  still  without  the  pale, 
though  perhaps  the  gift  I  am  about  to  ask  of  you  may 
help  to  convince  me  of  the  Divine  life.  Robert,  I 
have  come  to  you  to-night,  with  the  sanction  of  your 
father's  and  sister's  approval,  to  ask  your  consent  to 
my  trying  to  win  Natalie's  love  —  if  she  recovers." 

The  priest  turned  a  face  of  fixed  denial  upon 
Lamar. 

"You  shall  never  have  it,  Philip  Lamar,"  he  said 
severely.  "My  sister  Rebecca  is  simply  a  weak,  yield- 
ing woman,  incapable  of  deciding  in  the  serious  affairs 
of  life ;  as  for  my  father,  I  should  scarcely  think  you 
would  urge  the  value  of  a  consent  extracted  from  his 
ignorance  of  your  atheistical  opinions.  Had  you  not 


DOCTOR  LAM  Alt.  259 

taken  base  advantage  of  this  ignorance,  you  could 
never  have  won  his  sanction  of  a  marriage  which  he 
would  have  abhorred  had  he  known  the  truth  con- 
cerning you  "  — 

"  It  is  false ! "  interrupted  Lamar,  roused  to  anger 
by  the  injustice  of  the  charge.  "Your  father  gave 
me  his  consent  in  the  full  knowledge  of  my  opinions. 
As  to  Miss  Wyndham,  it  may  be  a  question  in  some 
minds  as  to  whether  charity  and  tolerance  constitute 
strength  or  weakness  of  character;  however,  let  that 
pass.  We  will  not  stop  for  argument.  What  I  wish 
to  know  of  you  is  this :  If  your  sister  Natalie  recovers 

—  which  she  shall  do" — he  interjected  determinedly, 
"  I  mean  sufficiently  to  accept  my  love  and  devotion, 

—  for  I  tell  you  frankly  she  must  in  all  probability 
be  a  cripple  for  life,  —  if  she  bestows  upon  me  the 
privilege  of  consecrating  my  whole  existence  to  her, 
will  you  give  your  consent  to  the  marriage,  or  shall 
you  feel  it  incumbent  upon  you  to  refuse  it  ?  " 

"I  shall  most  certainly  refuse  it,"  returned  the 
priest  decidedly.  "  More  than  this,  I  shall  do  all  in 
my  power  to  influence  Natalie  not  to  accept  you.  A 
man  holding  your  opinions  regarding  the  most  vital 
matters  of  life  is  not  fit  to  be  trusted  with  the  wel- 
fare of  any  woman.  Natalie  is  a  pure,  innocent  child, 
whose  belief  in  her  Creator  has  never  known  the 


260  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

shadow  of  a  doubt."  —  Has  it  not,  oh,  wise  brother  ? 
—  "I  would  as  soon  think  of  placing  her  beneath  the 
corrupting  influence  of  your  atheism  as  I  would 
dream  of  destroying  her  physical  being  with  my  own 
hands." 

"  Very  well !  Then  I  shall  marry  her  without 
your  consent." 

The  two  men  had  risen  and  were  confronting  each 
other.  On  both  faces  were  written  grim  determina- 
tion and  unyielding  will;  but  a  vast  difference 
existed  between  the  calm  decision  of  the  one,  and  the 
passionate  protest  and  ecclesiastical  anger  of  the 
other.  The  issue  was  a  serious  one  to  both,  but 
Lamar  had  the  advantage  of  long  deliberation  and 
calm  reflection;  whereas  Wyndham  had  been  too 
greatly  occupied  with  himself  during  the  past  year 
to  accord  any  great  amount  of  thought  to  the  affairs 
of  others. 

Now  he  felt  Natalie's  soul  to  b'e  in  jeopardy,  and, 
being  in  an  extremely  nervous  and  irritable  state 
from  severe  discipline,  by  means  of  which  he 'had 
sought  to  overcome  his  stubborn  flesh,  he  was  ill- 
prepared  for  cool,  dispassionate  argument  and  expos- 
tulation. Lamar's  last  words  roused  a  more  than 
holy  ire  within  him.  They  gave  him  an  opportunity 
to  unleash  the  tempest  of  feeling  that  had  been 


DOCTOR  LAMAK.  261 

smouldering,  like  a  slumbering  volcano,  within  his 
breast  ever  since  the  day  of  his  rejection  by  Eleanor 
Dunstane. 

He  had  overlaid  it  with  all  sorts  of  debris.  Good 
works,  untiring  activity,  severe  discipline,  and  rigid 
self-repression  had  each  had  a  hand  in  crushing  down 
the  passion  of  the  man's  nature.  Yet  the  fire  had 
burned  fiercely  on,  only  awaiting  an  opportunity  to 
burst  its  restraints  and  flash  hotly  to  the  surface ; 
and  now  the  opportunity  was  given  it.  Undoubtedly 
Robert  Wyndham  would  have  defined  the  impulse 
that  urged  his  outburst  as  one  born  of  righteous 
indignation;  in  fact,  Natalie's  salvation  was  but 
the  acceptable  excuse  for  a  long  pent-up  burst  of 
rage  and  despair  at  the  abortiveness  of  his  own 
hopes. 

He  was  tired,  worn,  and  exhausted  by  the  severe 
mental  and  physical  strain  which  he  had  been  under- 
going for  twelve  long  months.  Trouble  after  trouble 
had  seemed  to  lay  their  weight  upon  his  heart  to 
crush  out  its  very  life.  Eleanor's  rejection,  his 
father's  death,  the  loss  of  Lamar's  friendship,  Nat- 
alie's terrible  accident,  and  now  the  threatened  alien- 
ation from  his  family,  all  these  had  accumulated 
to  embitter  him.  His  beloved  religion,  to  which  he 
had  fled  for  consolation  with  a  soul  filled  with  anger 


262  Docron  LAMAR. 

and  passion,  had  disappointed  him,  loath  as  he  would 
have  been  to  confess  it  even  to  himself. 

Lamar's  return  to  Fordham  had  stirred  up  a  host 
of  memories  and  aroused  certain  cravings  and  regrets 
in  the  priest's  soul,  recognition  of  whose  existence 
had  resulted  in  scorn  and  contempt  of  his  own  carnal 
nature.  Now,  as  Lamar  boldly  announced  his  inten- 
tion of  thwarting  and  slighting  his  decision,  the  fury 
of  his  wrath  burst  its  bonds.  His  face  grew  crimson, 
and  he  struck  the  study  table  heavily  with  his  closed 
fist. 

"  You  will  marry  her,  will  you  ? "  he  almost 
shouted;  "and  pray,  what  recommendations  do  you 
bring  to  prove  your  fitness  to  be  the  guardian  of  a 
woman's  life,  to  say  nothing  of  her  immortal  soul  ? 
You,  a  man  who  boasts  of  having  shortened  the  exist- 
ence of  one  wife !  Do  you  think  it  strange  that  I 
her  brother,  should  refuse  to  trust  to  your  tender 
mercies  the  life  of  a  poor  cripple  whose  youth  makes 
it  probable  that  she  may  outlive  the  term  of  your 
patience  and  affection?" 

Even  in  the  midst  of  his  self-abandonment  he  felt 
the  terrible  injustice  and  cruelty  of  his  words. 
None  knew  better  than  he  the  tender,  loving  nature 
of  the  man  he  was  addressing,  and  the  impossibility 
of  any  selfish  motive  having  influenced  his  crime. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  263 

But  a  demon  seemed  to  be  sitting  within  his  breast, 
urging  him  on  to  this  most  cowardly,  brutal  assault. 

The  effect  of  his  words  upon  Lamar  was  almost 
deadly.  During  the  opening  sentences  of  the  angry 
priest's  tirade  he  listened  almost  vacantly,  as  if 
scarcely  comprehending  the  meaning  of  his  words ; 
but  as  Robert  finished  and  the  horror  of  the  insinua- 
tion burst  upon  him  in  all  its  entirety,  his  fine,  noble 
face  turned  to  a  hue  that  was  well-nigh  ghastly,  he 
drew  a  short,  quick  breath  that  was  almost  a  sob, 
and,  springing  forward,  seized  the  priest  by  both 
shoulders  with  a  convulsive  grasp. 

"  By  the  eternal  gods,  Robert  "Wyndham,"  he  mut- 
tered through  his  clinched  teeth,  "explain  your 
meaning,  or  you  shall  answer  to  me  for  what  it 
implies !  Tell  me,  man,  you  who  call  yourself  a 
priest  of  your  God,  what  you  mean  by  the  sugges- 
tion that  I  put  an  end  to  my  wife's  life  from  selfish 
motives.  By  all  the  gods  of  war,  I  will  shake  the 
words  out  of  your  mouth,  if  you  are  not  quicker  in 
speaking  them ! " 

Wyndham  shook  himself  free  of  the  other's  clutch. 
His  own  passion  was  a  little  quelled  by  the  effect 
his  words  had  produced  upon  Lamar ;  yet  the  relief 
of  free  utterance  was  too  great  to  succumb  to  an 
immediate  check. 


264  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

"Before  I  explain  anything,  Philip  Lamar,"  he 
said,  "answer  me  a  question.  You  are  now  in  the 
full  tide  of  your  passion  for  my  sister;  she  lies 
above,  crippled  and  suffering,  but  for  the  employ- 
ment of  opiates,  as  great  agony  as  your  wife  endured. 
Should  the  effect  of  the  opiates  suddenly  fail,  and 
she,  tortured  beyond  her  strength,  beg  release  from 
you,  answer  me  on  your  honor,  if  you,  feeling  her 
death  to  be  impossible  of  long  delay,  would  consent 
to  hasten  its  coming  ?  " 

His  question  sent  a  chill  of  death  to  Lamar's  heart. 
In  an  instant  a  scene,  similar  to  the  one  he  had 
already  assisted  in,  presented  itself  to  his  imagina- 
tion —  only  this  time  it  was  Natalie  and  not  Laura 
who  besought  relief  at  his  hands. 

Coming  lately  from  her  sick-room  where  she  lay 
in  all  the  semblance  of  death,  the  picture  was  a 
terribly  vivid  one.  He  saw  the  sweet,  pure  face 
shadowed  by  its  masses  of  dusky  hair ;  the  graceful, 
girlish  form  he  loved  beyond  all  things  either  of 
time  or  eternity.  He  felt  the  dark,  tender  eyes 
lifted  to  his  in  entreaty,  and  heard  the  gentle,  musi- 
cal voice  weighted  with  the  demand  that  he  should 
cut  himself  off  forever  from  its  loving  tones.  A 
terrible  shudder  shook  his  strong  frame  so  that  he 
even  staggered  and  grasped  a  chair  for  support. 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  265 

Sinking  into  it  he  covered  his  face  with  his  hands, 
as  if  to  shut  out  the  gaze  of  his  angry  inquisitor  as, 
with  a  trembling,  broken  voice,  he  cried  out,  — 

"Laura,  forgive  me!  I  could  not;  no,  I  could 
not ! " 

It  was  an  hour  later  that  Miss  Wyndham,  making 
her  nightly  rounds,  found  Lamar  sitting  alone  in  the 
study.  She  had  thought  him  gone  for  the  night,  and 
was  surprised  when  she  discovered  his  tall,  motion- 
less figure  outlined  in  the  faint  lamplight  against  one 
of  the  windows.  It  was  one  that  overlooked  the 
garden,  and  a  glorious  autumn  moon  was  shining  full 
upon  the  flowerless  sweet-brier  tree,  upon  which 
Lamar's  gaze  appeared  to  be  fixed. 

He  turned  as  Rhea  entered,  and  she  was  startled 
by  the  traces  of  fierce  emotion  which  were  plainly 
legible  on  his  features.  She  came  hastily  toward 
him,  arguing  but  one  cause  from  this  visible  effect. 

"  You  consider  Natalie  worse  ?  "  she  asked  breath- 
lessly. He  shook  his  head. 

"No;  about  the  same,  I  think,"  he  replied  briefly. 

She  looked  searchingly  at  him  with  solicitous  eyes. 

"  Philip,"  she  said,  feeling  intuitively  that  he  had 
need  of  extra  tenderness  and  sympathy,  "  what  is  it, 
my  brother  ?  You  have  been  through  some  terrible 
ordeal,  I  can  see.  Philip,  tell  me ;  I  am  very  brave, 


266  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

you  know.  Are  you  making  up  your  mind  to  the 
necessity  of  giving  her  up  ?  " 

Larnar  bent  his  head,  and  a  short  sob  burst  from 
him.  No  one  but  himself  could  ever  know  what  the 
suffering  of  that  last  hour  had  been.  Rhea  turned 
white,  but  however  great  her  own  pain,  she  was 
always  able  to  play  the  comforter. 

"  May  the  dear  Lord  help  you ! "  she  whispered 
softly.  "Philip,  it  is  hard  for  us  to  think  of  life 
without  Natalie,  our  dear  little  one,  isn't  it  ?  " 

The  tears  would  come,  and  she  turned  away  to 
compose  herself.  Lamar  saw  how  he  had  misled  her. 

"Rhea,"  he  said  in  a  tone  which  it  took  all  his 
determination  to  render  steady,-"  you  misunderstand 
me.  We  do  not  yet  know  that  you  and  Natalie 
must  be  parted.  There  is  as  much  chance  for  her 
recovery  as  ever.  It  was  of  my  own  life  I  was  think- 
ing. It  seems  that,  after  all,  it  is  doomed  to  be  a 
solitary  one." 

Rhea  looked  a  little  bewildered. 

"  Kobert  has  refused  his  consent,  then  ?  "  she  said 
questioningly,  "  and  you  have  decided  to  abide  by  his 
refusal ?  " 

A  dark  shadow  eclipsed  the  suffering  on  Lamar's 
face. 

"  Yes,"  he  replied ;  "  partly  that.    But  there  is  more 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  267 

reason  in  his  refusal  than  I  suspected.  Mine  own 
familiar  friend  "  —  bitterly  —  "  has  brought  me  to  the 
bar  of  my  own  judgment,  and  proved  me  by  my  own 
verdict  unworthy  of  his  sister." 

"  Unworthy  ! "  Rhea  repeated  incredulously  ;  "  I'll 
not  believe  it,  Dr.  Lamar !  What  is  all  this  ?  I 
had  thought  you  determined  to  disregard  Eobert's 
disapproval." 

"  Yes,  and  so  I  was ;  but  my  own  character  has 
been  placed  before  me  in  a  new  and  unexpected  light. 
I  had  thought  myself  a  tolerably  good  man,  as  men 
go,  and  a  not  altogether  unworthy  suitor  for  even  — 
Natalie."  He  drew  a  long  breath.  "Rhea,  I  swear 
I  would  have  made  her  a  good  husband,  your  trust  in 
me  should  never  have  been  belied ;  but  now  it  may 
never  be  proved.  I  am  found  to  be  not  only  a 
heathen,  an  agnostic,  an  atheist,  but  a  fickle  husband, 
yes,  a  —  prepare  yourself  for  a  shock,  Rhea  —  a 
murderer  even." 

There  was  such  terrible  gravity  in  his  voice, 
mingled  with  even  a  shade  of  remorse,  that  Rhea 
knew  not  how  to  treat  his  statement.  A  lighter  tone 
would  have  moved  her  to  ridicule  it,  a  bitter  accent 
would  have  aroused  her  virtuous  anger  in  his  defence ; 
but  the  seriousness  of  his  manner  forced  her  into 
simple,  incredulous  perplexity. 


268  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

"  I  do  not  understand  you  ! "  she  exclaimed ;  "  you 
speak  in  riddles." 

"  Then  listen."  He  wheeled  a  chair  toward  her, 
and,  standing  himself,  related,  with  the  power  of 
intense  feeling,  the  history  of  his  life  from  the  date 
of  his  mother's  abandonment  of  him  to  strangers, 
through  the  successive  periods  of  his  school  and 
university  careers,  his  wedded  life  with  Laura 
Rockwood,  the  long  and  fearful  agony  of  her  illness, 
terminating  in  that  action  of  his  which  had  closed 
her  life. 

The  difference  between  a  broad  and  narrow  intellect 
is  so  wide  that  it  seems  as  if  there  should  be  a 
separate  and  distinct  mode  of  presenting  facts  to  the 
grasp  of  each.  The  divine  charity  of  Rebecca 
Wyndham's  nature  brought  her  so  into  sympathy 
with  all  mankind  that  she  was  easily  enabled  to 
survey  the  conditions  and  temptations  of  even  the 
lowest  and  most  wretched  of  God's  creatures  from 
their  own  point  of  view. 

In  that  act  of  Lamar's  which  Robert  could  regard 
only  as  a  shocking  crime,  she  divined  the  tenderness 
of  heart  which  gave  it  the  semblance  of  a  deed  of 
mercy.  From  the  sacred,  reverential  manner  in 
which  he  handled  his  dead  wife's  name  throughout 
the  recital,  she  could  easily  imagine  how  true  and 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  269 

loyal,  if  un impassioned,  had  been  the  nature  of  his 
regard  for  her.  With  her  wide,  comprehensive,  men- 
tal vision,  it  was  by  no  means  difficult  for  her  to 
imagine  how  one,  acknowledging  no  accountability  to 
a  Creator,  could  count  it  no  sin  to  grant  a  release 
from  unendurable  torture  to  the  creature.  True,  she 
shuddered  at  this  palpable  proof  of  Lamar's  agnos- 
ticism. It  is  one  thing  to  hear  a  man  acknowledge 
atheistical  opinions,  and  another  to  see  him  prove 
them. 

She  listened  silently  to  Lamar's  whole  recital  —  she 
was  not  the  kind  of  woman  to  interrupt  even  a  trifling 
narrative  by  constant  ejaculations  and  exclamations. 
She  marked  the  difference  of  his  tone  in  speaking  of 
Laura  and  of  Natalie,  and  was  quick  to  detect  the 
contrast  between  his  affection  for  the  one  and  passion 
for  the  other.  The  question  which  Kobert  had  put 
to  Laraar,  thereby  awakening  his  horror  of  himself, 
she  regarded  as  quite  unfair  and  unreasonable.  She 
perceived  how  it  had  furnished  Lamar  with  a  new 
and  terrible  standpoint  from  which  to  view  the  one 
supreme  action  of  his  life.  She  divined  how  his 
reverential  regard  for  the  dead  had  suffered  a  pro- 
found shock  through  the  startling  discovery  that  he 
had  found  it  a  comparatively  easy  matter  to  volun- 
tarily dispense  with  her  companionship. 


270  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

Lamar's  anger  against  Robert  seemed  all  to  have 
become  merged  in  self-reproach.  He  spoke  of  his 
crime  —  which  was  no  crime  to  him  who  denied  the 
Divine  Law-giver  —  with  bitter  regret  and  remorse,  for 
of  a  sudden  he  had  become  morbidly  jealous  and  dis- 
trustful of  his  love  for  Laura.  It  even  seemed  to  him 
that  he  might,  at  the  very  moment  of  his  compliance, 
have  been  urged  to  a  too-ready  acquiescence  in  the 
sufferer's  request,  by  a  premonition  of  the  greater  joy 
that  awaited  him  in  his  passion  for  Natalie.  His 
conduct  appeared  to  him  now  as  if  prompted  by 
selfishness,  and  for  the  first  time  in  his  life  he  felt 
burdened  by  the  consciousness  of  guilt. 

He  made  a  thorough  confession  to  Ehea,  reserving 
nothing  of  the  doubts  and  reflections  that  had  been 
assailing  him  during  the  last  hour,  like  an  army  of 
baleful  shadows  weaponed  with  sharp  lances  from  the 
arsenal  of  conscience.  When  he  paused  at  length, 
she  could  see  in  the  dim  light  how  seamed  and 
haggard  his  face  had  grown  since  dinner. 

As  he  stopped  and  turned  away  to  the  window  to 
signify  that  he  had  finished,  she  rose,  and,  coining 
toward  him,  laid  her  strong,  comforting  hand  on  his 
shoulder. 

"  Dr.  Lamar,"  she  said,  "  I  will  not  deny  that  what 
you  have  told  me  has  pained  and  troubled  me  greatly. 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  271 

To  one  believing  as  I  do,  there  can  be  no  greater  sin 
than  that  of  depriving  a  human  being  of  his  God- 
given  life ;  yet,  while  I  cannot  excuse  what  you  have 
done,  I  can  admit  the  force  of  extenuating  circum- 
stances, which,  I  can  imagine,  would  seem  all-suffi- 
cient in  your  eyes." 

Lamar  turned  and  looked  gratefully  at  her,  too 
greatly  moved  for  speech. 

"  Robert  has  done  you  a  great  injustice,"  she  went 
on,  "in  putting  to  you  a  comparison  which  is  so 
widely  unequal.  By  it  he  has  aroused  in  you  a 
morbid  retrospection  which  is  most  unfair  to  yourself. 
Your  love  for  your  wife  was  a  far  more  unselfish 
emotion  than  your  passion  for  Natalie."  He  started, 
and  made  a  gesture  of  denial,  but  she  continued, 
without  giving  him  an  opportunity  to  speak.  "  Yes, 
it  was,  and  I  can  prove  it  by  your  own  confession. 
What  dictated  the  deed  for  which  you  are  so  remorse- 
ful ?  Pure  mercy.  It  was  not  committed  carelessly. 
You  yourself  have  admitted  that  it  cost  you  a  bitter 
struggle  to  sacrifice  your  prejudices  and  affection  to 
her  relief.  You  still  feel  that  to  her  its  consequences 
could  be  nothing  but  beneficial,  and  yet,  so  believing, 
you  would  refuse  to  grant  similar  peace  and  release 
to  Natalie  o\it  of  a  merely  selfish  desire  to  keep  her 
with  you,  regardless  of  the  cost  to  her.  Therefore  is 


272  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

yo\ir  love  for  our  dear  little  one  less  pure,  less  free 
from  selfish  taint,  than  the  other.  Dear  friend,  you 
aife  going  through  a  severe  mental  crisis ;  I  know  it, 
and  can  sympathize  in  it.  Do  not  let  morbid  and 
unhealthy  reflections  warp  your  clear  judgment." 

Lamar  looked  at  her  earnestly  with  profound 
questioning  in  his  sombre  eyes. 

"  And  you  would  still  give  her  to  me  ?  "  he  asked 
slowly,  "with  the  full  knowledge  of  my — murder  — 
yes,"  as  she  raised  her  hand  in  protest  —  "  that  is 
what  your  brother  terms  it;  let  the  word  stand.  In 
the  full  knowledge  that  I  am  the  murderer  of  my 
wife,  that  I  am  confessedly  guilty  of  the  most 
heinous  crime  in  your  decalogue,  you  are  still  will- 
ing to  trust  to  my  keeping  your  most  precious 
possession  ?  " 

"  Why  not  ?  "  she  asked  ;  "  your  avowal  has  in  no 
wise  lessened  your  moral  worth  in  my  sight." 

He  seized  both  her  hands  and  wrung  them 
passionately. 

"  Indeed,  you  almost  foi-ce  me  to  believe  in  the 
reality  of  your  God  !  "  he  exclaimed. 

"  And  do  you  not  ?  "  she  asked  quietly,  but  with 
deep  significance  in  her  question.  He  made  a  quick, 
surprised  movement. 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  "  he  returned  sharply. 


DOCTOR  LAM  All.  273 

"  Only  that  it  seems  to  me  that  there  must  be 
something  underlying  Robert's  test,  to  have  aroused 
such  a  tempest  within  you.  Philip,  is  your  remorse 
and  repentance  wholly  due  to  the  awakened  conscious- 
ness of  your  shortcomings  in  the  matter  of  love  for 
your  wife  ?  Is  there  not  a  doubt  as  to  your  right  to 
have  assumed  God's  prerogatives  troubling  your 
conscience  ?  Are  you  not  reluctantly  yielding  to  a 
belief  in  a  future  life  ?  " 

He  regarded  her  in  amazement. 

"  Truly,"  he  said,  "  you  are  a  most  remarkable 
woman !  You  read  me  more  clearly  than  I  do 
myself.  Listen,  and  you  shall  answer  your  own 
question,  for  indeed  I  am  unable  to  give  you  a 
satisfactory  reply.  I  have  not  consciously  changed 
my  views  of  the  future,  but,  Rhea,  ever  since  Derrick 
Grafton  told  me  of  Natalie's  accident,  some  strange 
force  has  been  at  work  within  me.  What  is  it  ?  A 
mere  sentiment,  a  simple,  irrational  emotion  which 
certainly  should  have  no  weight  in  biassing  a  man's 
opinions.  Yet  it  is  clinging  and  tenacious ;  I  cannot 
shake  it  off." 

He  gave  an  impatient  shrug  of  his  broad  shoulders. 
A  little  gleam  of  comprehension  came  into  the 
woman's  eyes. 

"  What  is  it  ?  "  she  asked  quietly. 


274  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

"  Nothing  really  worth  speaking  of  ;  it  is  only  this  : 
when  Grafton  read  me  your  cablegram  a  fearful 
foreboding  of  Natalie's  death  came  over  me.  I 
suffered  almost  as  much  as  if  I  had  been  really 
assured  that  she  had  passed  away.  Then,  all  of  a 
sudden,  a  conviction  came  to  me  that  not  even  death 
itself  could  part  us ;  that  even  beyond  the  grave  we 
should  be  united ;  and  that  a  parting  here  was  but 
a  temporary  separation.  I  could  not  analyze  the 
sensation  of  this  assurance,  nor  tell  whence  it  came. 
I  could  not  rid  myself  of  it,  neither,  for  a  time,  did 
I  very  much  care  to,  so  comforting  was  it.  My 
better  judgment  assures  me  of  its  irrationality,  but, 
despite  every  argument,  the  conviction  remains.  I 
distrust  myself  and  fear  that  I  am  becoming  the 
victim  of  sentimentality.  It  is  rank  nonsense,  of 
course,  but  it  is  singular  how  strong  some  sudden 
impressions  are." 

The  gleam  in  Khea's  eyes  widened  into  a  gentle 
smile. 

"  I  would  foster  this  one,  if  I  were  you,"  she 
remarked.  "  It  may  prove  of  greater  worth  than  you 
imagine." 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  275 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

AFTER  all,  Robert  might  have  spared  himself  and 
Lamar  the  miserable  scene  depicted  in  the  last 
chapter,  for,  notwithstanding  the  valiant  fight  made 
by  science  against  nature,  Lamar's  most  sanguine  and 
resolute  optimism  could  no  longer  blind  itself  to  the 
fact  that  day  by  day,  hour  by  hour  in  fact,  Natalie 
was  growing  weaker.  Her  chances  for  recovery  had 
dwindled  to  such  small  proportions  that  Lamar  could 
scarcely  bear  to  compute  them. 

The  recuperative  forces  of  her  young  body,  in 
which  he  had  placed  his  strongest  hope,  seemed 
utterly  paralyzed  and  inert,  and  accompanying  the 
increased  exhaustion  and  weakness  came  a  physical 
revolt  against  opiates  which  troubled  her  physicians 
greatly.  The  morphine  seemed  utterly  to  lose  its 
good  effect,  and  the  nausea  it  induced  was  exceed- 
ingly injurious  to  the  shattered  spine. 

Robert  left  for  London  on  the  morning  after  his 
outburst  against  Lamar.  Rhea  had  an  interview 
with  him  before  his  departure,  and  remonstrated 
so  strongly  with  him  concerning  his  treatment  of 


276  DOCTOR  LAM  All. 

his  friend,  that  the  priest  took  umbrage  at  her  plain 
speaking  and  left  the  rectory  at  odds  with  all  its  in- 
mates, even  including  Natalie,  whose  condition  he 
regarded  as  far  more  hopeful  than  it  really  was,  and 
toward  whom  he  cherished  resentment  for  the  love 
which  Rhea  avowed  she  bore  Lamar. 

Irritated  by  an  inner  and  unacknowledged  con- 
sciousness of  his  unfair  and  unfriendly  attack  upon 
the  man  whom  he  had  promised  never  to  desert,  his 
mood  at  setting  out  was  anything  but  an  enviable 

one.      Rhea's   severe   exposition   of    her   sentiments 

• 
regarding  his  late  conduct,   and  the  avowal  of   her 

determination  to  support  Lamar  in  his  suit  for 
Natalie,  provoked  his  angry  displeasure.  He  felt 
the  home  atmosphere  thoroughly  uncongenial,  and, 
in  his  desperate  disgust  of  all  things  worldly,  was 
more  prone  than  ever  to  cut  himself  free  from  tem- 
poral ties  and  dedicate  himself  solely  to  the  service 
of  the  Church. 

In  the  afternoon  of  the  same  day  Lamar  was  sit- 
ting by  Natalie's  bedside  while  Rhea  sought  to  gain 
a  few  moments'  rest.  The  nurse  who  assisted  in  the 
care  of  the  sufferer  had  gone  out  for  a  short  walk, 
and  Lamar  was  alone  with  Natalie,  who  lay  in  a  deep 
sleep.  The  room  was  utterly  still,  save  for  the  girl's 
heavy  breathing,  in  which  occasionally  a  plaintive, 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  277 

unconscious,  little  moan  of  pain  would  mingle. 
Lamar  sat  in  the  shadow  with  his  eyes  riveted  upon 
her  white  face,  whose  pure,  full  oval  had  become 
wofully  emaciated  and  elongated. 

He,  himself,  appeared  to  have  grown  thin  and 
changed  during  the  past  twenty-four  hours.  Kobert 
had  plunged  a  dagger  into  his  heart,  and  all  night 
the  blade  had  been  twisting  and  rankling  in  the 
wound.  His  love  for  Natalie  was  assuming  the 
horrible  aspect  of  a  guilty  passion,  toward  which  he 
had  progressed  over  the  dead  body  of  his  wife.  Yet 
so  strong  was  this  love  that  he  could  not  bring  him- 
self to  wish  that  Laura  might  have  lived,  and  so 
have  precluded  his  experiencing  it.  And  it  was  this 
consciousness  of  the  debt  his  passion  owed  to  death, 
a  debt  which,  even  if  it  were  possible,  he  had  no 
desire  to  raise,  that  transformed  the  appearance  of 
his  deed ;  magnifying  what  seemed  to  him  a  simple 
act  of  mercy  into  the  horrible  and  unnatural  pro- 
portions of  an  awful  crime. 

His  mind  was  a  perfect  battle-field  of  contending 
emotions,  but  dominating  all,  rising  clear  and  strong 
above  everything,  was  his  great  and  tender  love  for 
Natalie,  his  terrible  fear  and  dread  lest  she  should 
die. 

Yet  he  was  not  wholly  despairing  and  comfortless. 


278  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

That  little  germ  of  conviction,  of  which  he  had  told 
Rhea,  was  hourly  increasing  in  strength  within  him, 
and  so  sweet  a  balm  was  it  to  his  apprehensive  soul, 
that  he  hugged  it  close  to  his  heart,  giving  it  more 
hospitable  entertainment  than  he  usually  accorded 
irrational  and  undemonstrable  impressions. 

He  was  thinking  of  it  now  as  he  sat  watching  poor 
little  Natalie  in  the  soft  September  twilight.  It 
appealed  to  him  strongly,  with  tenfold  more  power 
than  ever  before,  this  conviction,  this  certainty  that 
the  death,  which  he  knew  to  be  imminent,  was  power- 
less to  sever  their  spirits.  He  knew  that  a  bond 
existed  between  them  which  no  physical  causes 
could  disunite.  What  he  had  called  a  mere  hysteri- 
cal emotion  was  fast  becoming  a  fixed  belief.  The 
longer  he  sat  and  studied  that  lovely,  unconscious 
face,  the  more  thoroughly  convinced  he  became  that 
it  was  but  the  mask  of  a  spirit  which  was  part  of 
his  own,  and  of  which  no  power  of  heaven  or  earth 
could  rob  him.  The  mask  might  be  removed,  the 
body  restored  to  the  clay  of  which  it  was  formed, 
but  the  soul,  the  essence  whose  existence  he  must 
admit,  although  it  had  ever  escaped  the  researches 
of  the  dissecting-knife,  must  and  should  continue 
to  abide  with  him  through  time  and  eternity. 

It  was  a  startling  thought,  and  involved  all  sorts 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  279 

of  sequences;  but  these  he  thrust  aside,  deferring 
their  treatment  until  another  day.  The  future  would 
afford  ample  opportunities  for  such  work,  —  that 
future  whose  reality  was  to  differ  so  widely  from  his 
ideal.  He  drew  a  heavy  sigh  that  was  almost  a  sob. 
Oh,  Heaven !  to  go  back  to  that  dull,  heavy  routine  of 
duty  instead  of  the  joyous  existence  he  had  pictured ! 

The  effect  of  the  opiate  upon  the  sleeper  must 
have  worn  away,  for  the  slight  sound  evidently 
aroused  her.  She  stirred  and  lifted  her  heavy  waxen 
lids. 

"  Rhea  ! "  she  murmured  softly. 

Lamar  hesitated  a  moment.  Should  he  disclose 
his  presence,  or  steal  gently  back  out  of  the  room 
and  summon  Rhea  ?  He  decided  quickly.  It  could 
do  her  no  real  injury  now  to  discover  that  he  was 
there.  Alas  !  Nothing  could  harm  her  much  now. 
He  got  up  and  moved  forward  so  that  her  eyes  might 
rest  upon  him. 

"Natalie!"  he  said,  while  his  voice  shook  with 
emotion.  "  Do  you  remember  me,  my  darling  ?  " 

His  heart  throbbed  exultantly  with  fierce  pulsa- 
tions of  joy  as  he  saw  the  swift  gleam  of  glad  sur- 
prise that  lighted  her  face. 

With  difficulty,  for  the  slightest  motion  was  pain- 
ful, she  raised  her  hand  as  if  she  would  extend  it  in 
greeting. 


280  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

"  Kemember  you  ?  "  she  murmured,  while  a  faint, 
a  very  faint,  blush  transgressed  the  purity  of.  her 
skin  ;  "  Oh,  Dr.  Lamar !  " 

He  knelt  beside  her,  and  covered  her  slender 
hand  with  kisses,  of  which  tender  pity  and  solicitude 
robbed  the  passion.  He  could  not  reply,  fearing  to 
break  down  in  the  attempt,  and  so  perhaps  trouble 
and  agitate  her;  but,  if  glances  can  speak,  surely 
the  steadfast  yearning  of  his  look  was  all-sufficient 
to  inform  her  of  the  strength  and  fervor  of  his  love 
for  her.  She  encountered  his  glance  with  one  of 
mild  reproach. 

"  You  have  been  so  long  in  coming !  "  she  whis- 
pered tremulously. 

His  clasp  tightened  on  her  hand. 

"  Long ! "  he  exclaimed,  his  voice  rough  and  broken 
by  reason  of  the  restraint  he  was  imposing  on  him- 
self. "  Long,  Natalie  !  It  has  seemed  ages  to  me  ! " 
She  smiled  contentedly.  It  was  indeed  as  Khea  had 
said :  the  girl  loved  him.  "  Natalie,"  he  went  on, 
"  my  dear  little  one,  you  know  what  my  motive  was 
in  returning  to  England.  I  could  not  tell  you  when 
I  left  that  I  loved  you,  that  I  desired  nothing  better 
of  life  than  the  chance  of  making  you  my  wife ;  but 
you  know  it  now.  You,  doubtless,  guessed  it  long 
since.  Tell  me,  my  darling,  have  I  been  presumptu- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  281 

cms  in  believing  that  you  could  care  for  me  suffi- 
ciently to  marry  me  ?  " 

The  heavy  lids  dropped  shyly  down  over  the 
tender  violet  eyes ;  for  an  instant  there  was  again 
utter  silence  in  the  room.  Then  the  girl  looked  up 
at  him  and  he  saw  the  tears  gemming  her  lashes. 

"  No,"  she  said,  "  no ;  you  were  right.  I  did,  I  do 
love  you.  I  think  I  loved  you  that  first  time  I  saw 
you  standing  in  the  garden.  Do  you  remember, 
you  cut  the  roses  for  me  ?  But,  oh,  Philip !  you 
should  have  come  before  !  Now,  oh,  love  !  now,  it  is 
too  — "  She  broke  abruptly  off,  and,  turning  from 
him,  hid  her  face  in  the  pillow. 

Lamar's  features  assumed  a  set,  obstinate  expres- 
sion, a  look  which  they  frequently  wore  when  he 
was  engaged  in  a  hand-to-hand  conflict  with  death. 
With  a  firm,  gentle  touch  he  turned  her  face  to  his 
and  covered  it  with  passionate  kisses. 

"  Hush,  hush,  my  Natalie  ! "  he  cried.  "  It  is  not 
so.  You  are  mine,  mine,  and  nothing  shall  rob  me 
of  you.  You  must,  you  shall  be  my  wife;  I  swear 
you  shall !  There,  my  little  one,  I  have  frightened 
you  by  my  vehemence  ;  but  the  mere  thought  of 
losing  you  works  like  madness  in  my  brain." 

And  so  the  days  wore  on,  and,  despite  Lamar's 
efforts  to  hold  the  destroyer  at  bay,  Natalie  visibly 


282  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

faded.  While  with  her  his  passionate  dread  of  los- 
ing her  aroused  his  combativeness  to  such  a  degree 
that  it  really  imposed  a  conviction  of  her  ultimate 
recovery  upon  his  suffering  soul ;  but  with  his  depart- 
ure from  the  sick-room,  this  fictitious  hopefulness 
vanished,  a  reaction  of  despair  set  in,  and  left  him 
helpless  before  the  fact  of  a  near  parting.  On  such 
occasions  he  was  overborne  by  the  thought  of  his 
own  incompetency. 

The  fact  of  his  utter  helplessness,  of  the  inade- 
quacy of  all  his  acquired  skill  and  learning,  of  the 
valuelessness  of  his  long  experience  in  preserving  this 
one  existence  from  the  tyranny  of  death,  rendered  the 
scope  of  human  abilit}^  pitiably  small  in  his  eyes. 
For  the  first  time  he  felt  the  need  of  a  recognized 
Power  against  whose  decrees  he  might  protest,  and 
upon  whose  mercy  he  might  call. 

The  acknowledgment  of  nature  as  an  all-governing 
force  no  longer  satisfied  his  sore  and  rebellious  soul. 
She  was  by  far  too  irresponsible  an  agent  to  respond 
satisfactorily  to  the  tide  of  emotions  that  surged 
within  him.  As,  day  by  day,  he  watched  Natalie's 
failing  strength,  his  calm  reason  utterly  betrayed  his 
sinking  heart,  and  dispassionate  reflection  npon  the 
natural  results  of  primary  causes  became  merged  in 
involuntary  outbursts  directed  against  an  unacknowl- 


DOCTOR  £AMAR.  283 


edged  and  undefined  power  which,  for  want  of  a 
fuller  conception,  he  was  fain  to  call  Fate. 

His  whole  being  was  in  a  chaotic  state.  Passion 
warred  against  reason,  heart  against  brain;  doubts, 
fears,  love,  sorrow,  despair,  and  vague  hope  in  a 
possible  future,  made  of  this  period  a  crisis  in  his 
life,  toward  which  all  the  chilling  unbelief  of  his 
past  had  been  tending,  and  from  which  all  the  con- 
tentment of  his  after-life  dated. 

In  her  periods  of  consciousness  Natalie  was  very 
exacting.  Suffering  and  inaction  were  so  new  an 
experience  to  her  that  she  was  unable  to  endure 
them  patiently.  She  showed  but  scant  appreciation 
of  Robert's  society.  His  increasing  rigidity  and 
strictness  during  the  past  year  had  weaned  her  from 
him  very  perceptibly,  and  his  openly  expressed  dis- 
approval of  Dr.  Lamar  had  given  rise  to  many 
spirited  discussions  between  them.  Upon  Rhea  she 
vented  the  full  measure  of  the  capriciousness  and 
impatience  born  of  her  affliction. 

Rhea  it  was  who  had  always  humored  and  indulged 
her  ;  Rhea  it  was  who  had  ever  shielded  her  from  the 
slightest  burden  of  grief  or  pain  ;  therefore  it  was 
but  natural  that  upon  her  should  fall  the  brunt  of 
Natalie's  rebellion  against  this  terrible  weight  of  suf- 
fering. Needless  is  it  to  say  that  no  scape-goat  ever 


284  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

received  a  heavy  portion  of  another's  yoke  more 
willingly  than  did  this  strong-spirited,  unselfish  elder 
sister. 

In  Lamar's  presence  alone  poor  Natalie  seemed  to 
find  peace  and  pleasure.  Now  that  the  boon  of 
oblivion  was  largely  denied  her,  she  suffered  so  ter- 
ribly that  it  demanded  iron  self-control  in  those  who 
loved  and  waited  upon  her,  to  enable  them  to  com- 
mand their  pity  and  sympathy  sufficiently  to  permit 
of  their  remaining  to  witness  her  agony. 

She  clung  to  Lamar  with  passionate  tenacity,  and 
so  grudged  every  instant  of  his  absence,  that  it  was 
only  in  moments  of  her  unconsciousness  that  he 
could  gain  the  rest  which  was  an  absolute  necessity. 
In  her  helplessness  and  pain  she  showed  no  hesita- 
tion in  demonstrating  the  whole  depth  of  her  love 
for  him,  and  in  his  strength  and  tenderness  her 
weakness  found  a  much-needed  support. 

She  never  again  made  allusion  to  the  probable  ter- 
mination of  her  accident,  and  never  pained  him  by 
questions  regarding  her  condition,  or  discussions  as 
to  their  future.  It  was  an  oft-mooted  question  be- 
tween him  and  Rhea  whether  she  realized  her  danger 
and  anticipated  its  fatal  issue. 

That  she  spent  much  time  in  serious  thought  was 
evident  to  both,  and  at  intervals  she  exhibited  a  sin- 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  285 

gular  hysteria  that  pei-plexed  them  greatly.  There 
seemed  to  be  some  thought  or  care  troubling  her, 
which  she  withheld  from  their  knowledge. 

When  she  talked  with  Lamar  it  was  always  of  the 
past,  never  of  the  future.  There  was  no  pleasure  to 
her  now  so  great  as  that  of  listening  to  the  story  of 
the  conception  and  growth  of  his  love  for  herself. 
She  loved  to  hear  him  tell  how  great  a  nuisance  he 
had,  at  first,  considered  the  fact  of  her  existence ; 
and  the  pleased  smile  with  which  she  listened  to  his 
confession  of  the  weakness  that  had  made  the  past 
year  a  term  of  impatiently  endured  probation  would 
melt  into  a  sad  fusion  of  unshed  tears  as  he  described 
the  loving  labor  and  solicitude  he  had  spent  upon  his 
home,  that  it  should  be  bright  and  beautiful  enough 
for  her. 

She  would  have  him  draw  a  word  picture  of  every 
room,  until  she  came  to  know  them  as  well,  almost, 
as  he  ;  and,  if  she  noticed  the  tremor  that  would 
come  into  his  voice  as  he  recalled  his  never-to-be- 
fultilled  hopes  and  dreams,  she  neither  alluded  to  it, 
nor  appeared  to  remark  it. 

Kobert  came  down  to  Fordham  but  once  after  that 
stormy  interview  with  Lamar,  and  then  only  to  bid 
farewell  to  his  sisters.  He  was  about  to  depart  for 
America,  by  desire  of  his  order.  Father  Gordon,  the 


286  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

head  of  the  Society  of  St.  Paul,  had  been  for  some 
time  in  deep  perplexity  regarding  a  branch  mission 
which  had  been  established  in  America.  A  division 
of  sentiment  and  opinion  had  created  much  disaffec- 
tion among  its  members,  and  Father  Gordon  felt  the 
necessity  of  settling  the  affair  in  person. 

Having  great  faith  in  Father  Wyndham's  zeal  and 
discretion,  he  related  to  him  his  desires  and  purposes 
regarding  the  American  institution,  supplementing 
his  narrative  with  a  proposal  which  flattered  and 
soothed  the  wounded  vanity  and  self-esteem  of  the 
priest. 

"  I  wish  to  take  with  me  a  man  whom  I  can  leave 
behind  to  maintain  the  order  and  discipline  that  I 
hope  to  establish,"  he  said.  "I  cannot  very  well 
spare  any  of  the  older  brothers  from  the  work  they 
are  now  doing,  and  I  know  of  none  among  the 
younger  ones  who  is  so  well  calculated  as  you  for  my 
purpose.  I  do  not  require  that  you  shall  go  with 
me,  but  I  shall  be  very  glad  if  you  are  willing  to  do 
so." 

Here  was  a  chance  for  Robert  to  revenge  himself 
upon  the  whole  household  at  Fordham,  by  proving 
to  them  that  he  recognized  of  how  little  account 
they  held  him.  The  natural  hesitation  he  had 
hitherto  shown  to  cut  himself  wholly  adrift  from  his 


DOCTOR  LAM  All.  287 

family,  they  themselves  had  induced  him  to  over- 
come. The  grief  which  he  knew  Ehea,  in  particular, 
would  feel  at  this  step  on  his  part,  he  considered  but 
a  well-merited  punishment  for  her  espousal  of  Lamar. 
Let  her  find  comfort,  if  she  could,  in  the  unholy 
union  she  was  sanctioning.  As  to  Natalie,  she  would 
recover  and  marry  Lamar,  thus  putting  as  wide  a 
gulf  between  herself  and  him  as  the  ocean  which  he 
was  about  to  cross.  Therefore  he  felt  himself  wholly 
justified  in  accepting  Father  Gordon's  offer. 

If  any  be  disposed  to  carp  at  the  vindictive  temper 
and  lack  of  holiness  of  Kobert  Wyndham's  spirit, 
let  them  recall  the  causes  which  had  driven  him  to 
his  new  vocation.  He  had  sought  religious  seclusion, 
not  in  a  state  of  pure,  disinterested  charity  toward 
suffering  humanity,  but  in  a  condition  of  acute 
mental  perturbation  induced  by  outraged  passion, 
disgust  of  the  world,  and  rebellion  at  its  treatment 
of  him. 

His  love  for  Eleanor  Dunstane  had  embittered  his 
whole  soul,  and  the  reactionary  effect  upon  his  nature 
had  been  most  unfortunate.  He  had  felt  a  momen- 
tary remorse  as  he  saw  Lamar  sink  beneath  the  blow 
he  had  dealt  him,  and  a  short-lived  return  of  his  old 
affection  had  tempted  him  to  recall  his  thrust,  and 
acknowledge  fully  the  integrity  and  nobility  of  his 


288  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

friend's  nature.  He  had  even  been  so  far  influenced 
by  this  impulse  as  to  cry  out  Lamar's  name  in  a  tone 
of  bitter  self-reproach,  but  Lamar's  newly  awakened 
remorse  had  rendered  him  deaf  to  any  voice  but  that 
of  conscience. 

Rhea  accepted  the  tidings  of  Robert's  resolve 
calmly.  She  had  said  her  real  farewell  to  the 
brother  who  had  been  her  beloved  and  life-long  com- 
panion months  ago.  This  rigid  priest  was  well-nigh 
a  stranger  to  her.  Besides,  Natalie's  failing  condi- 
tion absorbed  her  to  the  exclusion  of  every  other 
consideration.  She  fully  acquainted  her  brother 
with  the  utterly  hopeless  nature  of  the  case,  and 
assured  him  that  his  farewell  of  Natalie  must  be  a 
final  one;  but  Robert  refused  to  believe  her.  He 
was  convinced  that  recovery,  though  it  undoubtedly 
would  be  a  slow  process,  was  more  than  probable, 
and  insisted  that  Rhea  only  wished  to  dissuade  him 
from  his  project.  Therefore  he  departed,  leaving 
Lamar  to  fill  his-  place  in  the  household,  and  furnish 
Rhea  with  the  brotherly  support  he  had  withdrawn. 

Lamar  came  to  her  one  morning  with  a  request, 
which  moved  them  both  beyond  anything  which  had 
yet  occurred.  He  had  been  alone  with  Natalie  while 
the  nurse  took  her  usual  rest,  Rhea  being  busied 
about  household  affairs. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  289 

"Rhea,"  he  said,  and  his  voice  broke  a  little,  "sh& 
has  asked  me  to  marry  her  at  once  —  may  I  ?  " 

They  looked  at  each  other  with  white  faces  and 
trembling  lips  —  these  two  who  loved  Natalie  so 
well.  Only  too  clearly  was  their  doubt  answered 
now.  They  knew  that  nothing  but  a  realization  of 
her  approaching  death  would  have  prompted  such  a 
request. 

Rhea  could  not  speak,  she  simply  bowed  her  head ; 
and  with  one  short,  deep  sob  Lamar  caught  her  in 
his  arms  and  held  her  to  him  in  a  close,  warm  clasp. 

"  God  help  you  both ! "  Rhea  whispered  at  last, 
when  she  could  find  command  of  her  voice. 

And  so  there  was  the  simplest  sort  of  marriage 
ceremony  performed  in  the  little  chamber  which  had 
been  the  girl's  from  her  early  childhood,  and  Natalie 
Wyndham  became  Natalie  Lamar  for  the  few  days 
that  yet  remained  to  her  of  life. 

And  these  days  were  very  few  now.  As  they  were 
finally  obliged  to  abandon  the  use  of  morphia,  her 
sufferings  became  intolerable ;  and  poor  little  Natalie 
was  not  of  Laura  Lamar's  calibre.  In  her  delicate, 
tortured  frame  there  did  not  exist  a  reserve  fund  of 
strength  of  will  to  supplement  the  weakness  of  body. 
There  was  little  of  the  martyr  spirit  in  this  ten- 
derly nurtured  young  English  maiden.  Her  moans 


290  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

and  outcries  wrung  Lamar's  very  soul.  She  seemed 
so  frail,  so  gentle,  and  tender  a  thing  to  have  been  so 
afflicted. 

One  day,  after  a  fearful  paroxysm  of  suffering,  she 
turned  upon  him  suddenly  with  fear  and  reproach  in 
her  eyes. 

"  I  am  dying,  Philip,"  she  said  in  a  frightened 
whisper,  "and  I  am  afraid.  You  have  made  me  so. 
I  do  not  know  where  I  am  going,  and  I  am  afraid 
to  die  alone." 

Lamar  started ;  she  had  plunged  a  dagger  into  his 
heart. 

"  Natalie  ! "  he  cried,  half  in  protest,  half  in  inter- 
rogation. 

She  continued  to  gaze  at  him  with  wide,  terrified 
eyes. 

"  Yes,"  she  repeated  shudderingly,  "  you  have 
made  me  doubtful  of  heaven.  What  if  there  be  no 
such  place,  and  I  am  going  out  into  darkness  ? 
Philip,  Philip,  keep  me  here ;  you  can  with  all  your 
skill !  Keep  me ;  don't  let  me  die !  I  am  afraid,  I 
tell  you,  horribly  afraid !  " 

He  wrapped  his  arms  around  her  and  held  her 
close  to  him,  while  the  blade  seemed  to  turn  and 
twist  itself  about  in  his  soul.  Was  it  so  then  ? 
Had  he  indeed,  unconsciously,  stolen  from  this  child 


DOCTOR  LAM  AS.  291 

the  dearest  and  most  precious  possession  she  owned, 
having  naught  to  substitute  in  its  place  ?  Had 
Robert  been  right,  after  all,  in  dreading  the  effect  of 
his  influence  upon  her  plastic  nature  ? 

A  bitter  consciousness  of  irreparable  injury  to  her 
overwhelmed  him.  What  assurances  had  he  to  offer 
her  now  in  place  of  that  beautiful,  comforting  belief 
of  which  he  had  deprived  her?  Of  what  value  were 
his  cold,  cheerless  theories  of  life  and  its  ultimate 
issue,  to  this  timid,  frightened  soul  shuddering  upon 
the  brink  of  eternity  ?  He  could  feel  her  trembling 
in  his  arms,  and  yet  he  was  powerless  to  comfort 
her. 

"  Philip,"  she  cried  again,  "  you  are  so  clever,  so 
skilful ;  can't  you  do  anything  to  save  me  ?  I  want 
to  live  !  I  am  so  young !  You  may  do  anything  to 
me ;  perform  any  operation.  I  will  bear  any  amount 
of  pain  —  only  let  me  live.  Can't  you,  Philip,  can't 
you?" 

His  silence  was  her  only  answer.  She  became 
impatient,  and  withdrew  herself  from  his  arms. 

"  You  can  do  nothing ! "  she  exclaimed  in  great 
agitation.  "And  yet  you  used  to  pretend  to  be  so 
much  wiser  than  other  men.  You  used  to  scorn  men 
who  acknowledged  a  higher  power  and  bowed  in  sub- 
mission to  it,  and  yet  you  are  just  as  helpless  as  they 


292  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

when  a  time  of  need  comes.  Oh,  I  want  papa,  I 
want  Robert,  I  want  Rhea,  any  one  who  can  tell  me 
that  I  am  not  going  to  be  lost  forever,  that  I  am  not 
going  out  into  a  horrible  darkness,  that  I  shall  not  be 
parted  forever  from  you  and  every  one  I  love ! " 

She  was  terribly  excited,  and  Lamar,  fearful  of  the 
consequences  of  such  agitation,  tried  to  soothe  and 
quiet  her,  but  in  vain. 

"  Go,  go,"  she  cried  urgently,  "  go  and  bring  Rhea 
to  me.  She  can  make  me  believe  again ;  she  can 
pray  and  make  me  feel  that  there  is  a  God  some- 
where. Hurry,  Philip ;  bring  Rhea  here  quickly  ! " 

Besides  his  self-reproach,  there  was  a  gnawing 
jealousy  tormenting  Lamar.  He  would  be  at  this 
time  all  in  all  to  Natalie,  and  the  knowledge  that  his 
love  was  not  wholly  sufficient  to  her  added  a  fierce 
pang  to  his  suffering. 

The  first  symptom  of  unfriendliness  that  Rebecca 
Wyndham  ever  manifested  toward  Lamar  showed 
itself  upon  this  occasion.  When  he  sought  her,  in 
fulfilment  of  Natalie's  request,  he  was  obliged  to 
confess  to  her  the  doubts  which  were  torturing  the 
sufferer.  A  quick  flash  of  resentment  came  into 
Rhea's  usually  calm,  kind  eyes. 

"Oh,  Dr.  Lamar!"  she  said,  "to  think  that  you 
should  have  done  this  thing !  You,  whom  we  trusted 
so  fully ! " 


DOCTOR   LAM AU.  293 

Then  she  went  up  to  Natalie's  chamber,  while 
Lainar  passed  out  into  the  forlorn  and  neglected 
garden,  and  paced  up  and  down,  distressed  beyond 
measure  at  the  discovery  he  had  made.  He  was 
shocked,  surprised,  stunned,  by  the  knowledge  that 
the  seed  which  he  had  unintentionally  sowed  had 
germinated  into  a  weed  of  poisonous  aspect.  Rhea's 
reproach  stung  him  to  the  marrow.  To  one  of  his 
conscientious  rectitude  of  purpose  it  was  a  bitter 
reflection  that  he  would  be  held  guilty  of  such  a 
breach  of  faith. 

The  end  came  a  day  or  two  later.  Lamar  and 
Rhea  were  both  with  Natalie,  for  she  had  had  a  day 
of  intense  agony.  Toward  evening  the  pain  seemed 
to  leave  her,  and  she  slept  a  good  deal.  The  two 
watchers  were  standing  at  the  open  window  convers- 
ing in  hushed  whispers,  when  suddenly  they  heard 
her  voice,  clear  and  strong  as  in  the  olden  time,  call- 
ing them. 

"Rhea!  Philip!"  she  said,  "come  here;  I  want 
you ! " 

They  hastened  to  her,  and  she  lifted  her  arms  and 
laid  them  about  Rhea's  neck  as  she  had  been  used  to 
do  when  a  child. 

"  It  is  all  right,  Becky  !  "  she  exclaimed  almost  joy- 
fully, "papa  has  been  with  me,  and  I  don't  mind 


294  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

going  now.  Good-by,  Becky  dear ! "  Then  she  loos- 
ened her  clasp  and  turned  to  Lamar.  "Philip,  my 
husband ! "  she  said,  and  the  loving  inflection  of  the 
voice  as  it  tenderly  caressed  the  title  brought  the 
tears  to  her  listeners'  eyes,  "  you  will  know  it  some 
day.  Love,  it  is  so  much  easier  to  believe.  How 
can  one  die  without  the  help  of  Christ  ?  " 

There  was  a  new  radiance  and  peace  on  her  face 
that  was  well-nigh  unearthly,  and  impressed  Lamar 
strangely.  He  scarcely  dared  touch  her,  she  seemed 
so  far  removed  from  him  ;  but,  as  she  lay  looking  into 
his  suffering  face  with  an  earnest  gaze  of  tender  pity 
and  compassion,  she  reached  out  and  took  into  her 
weak  clasp  his  large,  strong  hand. 

"  Philip,"  she  said,  in  so  low  a  tone  that  he  had  to 
bend  his  head  to  hear,  "  we  love  each  other  dearly, 
do  we  not  ?  " 

His  grasp  tightened  on  her  hand,  and  his  heaving 
chest  answered  her  sufficiently. 

"  You  will  not  like  it  if  I  claim  my  love  to  be  the 
strongei',"  she  went  on,  "  and  yet  I  think  it  is ;  for 
you  feel  that  yours  can  die  with  your  body,  while  I 
know  that  mine  will  outlive  death  and  the  grave,  and 
exist  throughout  eternity."  She  smiled  triumphantly, 
but  waited  for  no  response.  If  she  had,  she  must 
have  waited  in  vain,  for  Lamar,  on  his  knees  by  the 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  295 

bedside,  had  buried  his  face  in  the  coverings,  utterly 
unable  to  reply  to  the  sweet,  tranquil  tones.  "Rhea," 
she  went  on,  "  now  that  you  and  I  think  alike  again, 
I  want  you  to  tell  Philip  what  it  *is  we  believe. 
Listen,  my  husband  ! " 

She  laid  her  hand  softly,  caressingly,  oh  the  man's 
bowed  head,  while  Rhea,  standing  at  the  foot  of 
the  bed,  repeated  in  a  full,  earnest  voice  the  glorious, 
simple  words  of  the  Apostles'  Creed.  When  she 
finished,  Natalie  thanked  her  lovingly,  then,  turning 
to  Lamar  who  still  remained  silent  and  motionless,  — 

"  There,  dearest ! "  she  exclaimed.  "  That  is  my 
belief.  Now  let  us  hear  yours,  that  we  may  judge 
between  them." 

There  was  a  hushed  stillness  in  the  little  room  as 
the  two  women  awaited  Lamar's  reply.  It  was  slow 
in  forthcoming,  and  a  white,  ashy  hue  of  exhaustion 
was  beginning  to  settle  down  on  Natalie's  face,  when 
Lamar  suddenly  rose  to  his  feet.  A  flush  was  on  his 
haggard  features,  and  a  new  light  of  conviction  strug- 
gled through  the  shadows  that  had  long  darkened 
his  eyes. 

He  folded  his  arms  across  his  breast,  in  the  attitude 
of  one  who  has  come  to  a  fixed  decision,  then,  while 
Rhea  watched  anxiously  lest  the  enunciation  of  some 
heresy  should  disturb  the  tranquillized  spirit  of  the 


296  DOCTOR  LANAR. 

dying  girl,  and  Natalie  battled  with  the  fast-coming 
shadows  of  death,  he  exclaimed  in  a  low,  steady,  and 
resolute  voice,  — 

"  I  believe  ift  God,  the  Father  Almighty,  maker  of 
heaven  and  earth  ! " 

A  cry  of  joy  rang  through  the  room. 

"  Philip,  my  husband !     Thank  God !  oh,  thank  —  " 

There  was  a  stifled,  choking  sound.  Lamar,  only 
too  familiar  with  its  ominous  significance,  sprang 
forward  and  caught  up  Natalie  in  his  arms.  A 
moment  he  held  her  gently,  then  snatched  the  poor, 
unconscious  body  to  him  with  passionate  force,  and 
covered  the  sweet,  lifeless  lips  with  kisses. 

"Natalie,  my  little  one!"  he  cried;  "oh,  God! 
Give  her  back  to  me,  give  her  back  to  me  !  " 


DOCTOR  LAM  AIL  297 


CHAPTER  XV. 

IT  is  not  to  be  inferred  that  Lamar's  conversion 
was  due  to  a  sudden  impulse  induced  by  a  dramatic 
situation  or  a  hysterical  mental  condition,  for  the 
fact  was  nothing  of  the  kind.  That  the  cause  which 
had  effected  his  change  of  view  was  a  sentimental 
one,  cannot  be  denied ;  but  is  not  sentiment  the  very 
essence  of  spiritual  belief  ?  In  a  matter  unsubstan- 
tiated by  very  valid  proof,  and  based  largely  upon 
faith  —  in  itself  a  purely  sentimental  quality  —  is  it 
not  very  natural  that  conversion  should  be  due  to 
emotional  causes  ?  Lamar's  is  not  the  only  case  in 
which  the  soul's  necessity  has  effected  the  result 
which  polemical  discussion  has  failed  to  accomplish. 

Dating  from  Grafton's  visit  to  him  in  New  York, 
a  subtle  influence  had  been  at  work  within  him. 
The  conviction  that  his  love  for  Natalie  was  no 
earth-born  passion,  but  something  diviner,  more 
enduring  than  life  itself,  had  wrought  a  marvellous 
change  in  his  carefully  worked-out  conclusions  that 
life  ends  at  the  portals  of  death.  In  a  few  short 
weeks  his  hitherto  satisfactory  solution  of  the  great 


298  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

problem  of  eternity  had  become  a  mere  jangle  of 
words,  utterly  bereft  of  meaning  to  one  who  had 
come  into  the  heritage  of  a  happier  conviction. 
Death,  which  heretofore  he  had  so  glibly  defined  as 
extinction,  now  became  a  word  to  be  construed  with 
exceeding  difficulty,  filled  with  wondrous  possibilities 
and  perplexities,  more  mysterious  but  infinitely  more 
hopeful  than  of  old. 

His  soul  had  been  in  a  chaotic  condition  for  weeks. 
That  supreme  moment  in  Natalie's  death-chamber 
had  but  focussed  into  concise  expression  all  the 
struggling  tendencies  created  by  his  intense  despair. 
But  his  acceptance  of  Natalie's  creed  halted  at  the 
point  at  which  he  ceased  to  repeat  llhea's  words. 
Honestly  and  conscientiously,  uninfluenced  by  any 
desire  to  please  Natalie,  he  could  acknowledge  the 
faith  in  a  Creator,  a  spontaneous  conviction,  before 
whose  holy  mystery  reason  veiled  her  keen,  pene- 
trating eyes. 

Beyond  this  point  he  never  proceeded.  The  long 
after-years  of  earnest  study  and  research  never  suc- 
ceeded in  convincing  him  of  the  truth  of  the  legen- 
dary birth  and  career  of  Christ. 

Having  succumbed  to  the  necessity  of  admitting 
the  existence  of  a  God,  it  may  seem  that  it  had  been 
an  easy  thing  for  him  to  go  a  step  further  and  admit 


DOCTOR  LAMAK.  299 

the  possibility  of  the  Immaculate  Conception,  and  its 
concomitant  miracles  ;  not  so.  In  view  of  this  mag- 
nificent and  orderly  plan  of  creation,  it  is  easy  and 
natural  for  even  a  scientist  to  acknowledge  the  pos- 
sibility of  a  governing  force ;  in  response  to  the  loud 
and  imperious  demands  of  a  spirit  which  evades 
dissection,  a  materialist  may  even  rationally  concur 
in  the  mystic  hopes  its  needs  inspire.  Such  simple 
faith  outrages  none  of  the  clear  deductions  of  reason, 
and  fails  to  provoke  antagonism  in  the  mind.  But 
when  all  the  complexities  and  abstractions,  all  the 
contradictions  and  suppositions,  involved  in  the  idea 
of  the  atonement  presented  themselves  to  Lamar's 
mind,  his  reason  rose  in  arms  and  refused  to  accept 
what  it  considered  a  fabulous  hypothesis. 

He  contented  himself  with  acknowledging  and 
worshipping  but  one  Person,  the  Lord,  who  had 
declared,  "  Thou  shalt  have  no  other  Gods  but  me." 
To  his  conception  of  a  Deity  there  needed  no  media- 
tor. Between  himself  and  the  great  All-Father,  who 
was  becoming  so  great  a  Personality  to  him  that  he 
wondered  at  his  ever  having  denied  it,  so  close  a  bond 
was  establishing  itself  that  he  felt  no  need  of  an 
intercessor. 

Soon  after  Natalie's  funeral  he  returned  to  America, 
and  took  rooms  at  a  hotel  in  New  York,  for  the 


300  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

purpose  of  winding  up  his  practice ;  for  he  could  not 
bring  himself  to  re-enter  the  house  in  Forty-second 
Street,  shrinking  from  the  necessity  of  looking  upon 
the  objects  he  had  consecrated  to  her  use. 

Her  death  had  been  a  terrible  blow  to  him,  and  he 
found  it  exceedingly  difficult  to  re-adjust  his  altered 
plan  of  life.  Even  his  beloved  profession  had  be- 
come distasteful,  and,  there  being  no  necessity  for 
him  to  continue  in  it,  he  relinquished  it  to  others. 
In  abandoning  its  duties  he  found  himself  at  large, 
as  it  were,  with  an  annoy ingly  awkward  amount  of 
spare  time  upon  his  hands  which  he  found  much  diffi- 
culty in  disposing  of. 

The  exigencies  of  Natalie's  illness  and  death  had 
been  too  engrossing  to  permit  of  any  extensive  retro- 
spection ;  but  now  that  he  found  this  to  be  the  chief 
occupation  of  his  existence,  he  became  haunted  by 
the  thought  of  his  first  wife.  After  the  violence  of 
his  grief  for  Natalie  had  subsided,  it  was  singular 
how  thoroughly  and  incessantly  the  image  of  Laura 
possessed  him. 

His  recollections  of  her  became  shrouded  in  self- 
reproach.  With  the  perception  of  his  accountability 
to  a  higher  Power  had  come  an  acknowledgment  of 
sin  in  transgressing  His  laws.  A  morbid  and  wholly 
unreasonable  idea  tortured  him :  that  he  had  been 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  301 

glad  to  yield  to  Laura's  request;  that  he  had  felt 
the  inadequacy  of  her  love  to  satisfy  him ;  and  that 
he  had  been  urged,  perchance,  by  the  base  promptings 
of  his  lower  nature,  to  avail  himself  with  undue 
eagerness  of  the  opportunity  offered  to  free  himself 
from  an  unsatisfying  union. 

He  was  constantly  haunted  by  the  suggestion  that, 
had  he  not  taken  the  disposal  of  Laura's  life  into  his 
own  hands,  she  might  be  still  alive  to  gain,  like  him- 
self, a  belief  in  the  life  to  come.  He  failed  to  realize 
the  difference  in  their  natures,  and  to  admit  the 
leaven  of  sentimentality  which,  possessed  by  him, 
was  so  wholly  lacking  in  her  that  it  is  doubtful  if 
the  age  of  Methuselah  would  have  wrought  a  change 
in  her  firm  convictions. 

It  seemed  to  him  that  the  case  against  himself  was 
proved  by  the  celerity  with  which  he  had  fallen  in 
love  with  Natalie  Wyndham.  The  fact  of  his  mar- 
riage with  her  within  two  years  of  his  widowhood 
loomed  before  him  like  a  hideous  monster  of  infi- 
delity. He  tried  in  various  ways  to  rid  himself 
of  the  burden  of  remorseful  reminiscences.  He 
travelled  widely  ;  devoted  himself  assiduously  to 
the  study  of  abstruse  works  of  theology,  which 
should  guide  him  rationally  upon  the  path  in  which 
he  had  set  his  feet. 


302  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Truth  had  ever  been  his  mistress,  and  he  tore 
with  ruthless  hands  every  veil  which  might  serve 

to  obscure   her  features  from  his  view.     He  would 

• 

have  in  his  religion  no  dogmas,  theories,  or  suppo- 
sitions, which  cringed  beneath  the  searching  gaze 
of  her  clear  eyes.  He  sought  the  society  of  men 
of  God,  hoping  to  discover  among  their  various 
doctrines  one  that  might  wholly  commend  itself  to 
his  intelligence ;  but  although  here  and  there  he 
found  an  occasional  idea  of  the  Divine  Mystery  that 
seemed  comparatively  reconcilable  with  his  own 
views  regarding  the  scheme  of  creation,  yet  even 
in  these  isolated  instances  something  transpired  to 
disappoint  and  dissatisfy  him. 

He  could  not  understand  how  it  was  that  those 
whose  life-business  it  had  been  to  study  and  glorify 
their  Maker  could  hold  to  a  conception  of  Him  so 
vastly  inferior  to  that  which  satisfied  himself,  who 
.had  been  a  life-long  sceptic. 

Vast  deeds  of  charity  and  benevolence ;  the  wide 
and  noble  cultivation  of  the  talents  with  which  God 
had  endowed  men ;  the  aggrandizement  of  the  world 
He  had  created;  earnest  and  sincere,  if  however 
humble,  collaboration  in  the  mighty  work  He  had 
undertaken;  —  these,  and  these  alone,  seemed  to  him 
fitting  and  appropriate  tributes  of  reverence  and 
devotion  from  creatures  to  their  Creator. 


DOCTOR   LAMAE.  303 

The  narrowness  of  creeds  made  him  distrustful 
of  their  worth;  the  self-righteousness  of  professing 
Christians  rendered  him  suspicious  of  their  charity. 
He  frankly  admitted  to  those  of  his  former  friends 
whom  he  now  occasionally  ran  across,  that  he  had 
become  cured  of  his  agnosticism ;  but  when  they 
asked  for  explanation  of  the  change  in  him  and 
exposition  of  his  present  opinions,  he  held  up  his 
hand  with  a  gesture  significant  of  his  inability  to 
inform  them  satisfactorily. 

With  his  mind  occupied  with  these  two  subjects, 
his  wrong  to  Laura  and  speculation  upon  the  Divin- 
ity, Lamar  wandered  from  country  to  country,  caring 
little  for  what  he  saw  or  experienced,  too  restless 
and  unhappy  to  return  to  his  own  land,  and  finding 
but  one  real  pleasure  left  him  —  that  which  he 
derived  from  Rhea's  long  and  frequent  letters.  Only 
on  the  occasions  of  the  receipt  of  these  did  he  per- 
mit his  mind  to  dwell  upon  Natalie.  At  other  times 
the  thought  of  Laura  obtruded  itself  between  him 
and  the  indulgence  of  his  sad,  sweet  memories  of 
the  poor  little  English  flower  whose  perfume  had 
so  enriched  his  life. 

The  conviction  of  God's  existence  did  not,  as 
Christians  are  wont  to  affirm,  beget  in  him  an  imme- 
diate and  blissful  exaltation  of  soul.  Rather,  it  pro- 


304  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

duced  in  his  mind  a  disturbed  and  troubled  condition 
of  perplexity,  which  the  slow  hand  of  time  alone 
could  straighten  into  order  and  harmony. 

One  day,  in  Paris,  he  made  a  discovery  which  gave 
him  genuine  delight :  it  was  Kenan's  "  Vie  de  Jesus" 
which  he  happened  never  to  have  read.  The  French- 
man's views  of  Christ's  life  found  an  echo  in  his 
own  intelligence.  He  felt  an  impulse  to  visit  the 
Holy  Land  and  imitate  Kenan's  example,  by  study- 
ing the  history  of  the  Divine  Man  on  the  very  spots 
made  sacred  by  His  footsteps.  He  spent  one  winter 
in  this  work,  and  in  a  little  village  on  the  Sea  of 
Galilee,  with  Kenan  in  one  hand  and  the  Bible  in 
the  other,  made  intimate  acquaintance  with  that 
perfect  life. 

He  returned  to  Europe  with  a  clearer  conception 
of  the  subject  which  so  profoundly  interested  him. 
It  was  now  two  years  since  Natalie's  death,  and 
Lamar's  friends,  who  had  not  seen  him  during 
the  interval,  were  greatly  shocked  by  his  altered 
appearance. 

Though  just  turned  forty,  his  dark  hair  had  almost 
wholly  changed  to  silver ;  his  strong,  upright  frame 
had  acquired  an  habitual  stoop  in  the  shoulders ; 
his  clear,  gray  eyes  had  lost  their  fire  and  proud 
confidence  ;  and  the  lines  of  his  face,  hitherto  firm 


DOCTOR  LAM  AIL  305 

and  resolute,  now  drooped  with  weary  melancholy 
and  unavailing  regret.  He  looked  what  he  was  — 
a  man  haunted  by  memory. 

One  day,  in  Koine,  an  accident  occurred,  which 
resulted  in  his  return  to  America.  He  was  stopping 
at  a  hotel  much  frequented  by  Englishmen,  and 
was  trying  to  find  occupation  in  studying  up  the 
ancient  history  of  the  city.  He  had  been  thus 
employed  some  three  weeks,  when,  late  one  night 
as  he  was  about  retiring,  there  came  an  imperative 
and  hasty  knock  at  his  door. 

Answering  the  summons,  he  discovered  standing 
without  in  the  corridor  a  French  maid  whom  he 
had  occasionally  seen  flitting  about  the  hotel,  and 
whom  he  knew  to  be  the  servant  of  a  lately  arrived 
English  lady.  The  woman  was  so  terrified  as  to  be 
incoherent. 

After  many  attempts  to  discover  the  object  of  her 
errand,  Lamar  finally  disengaged  it  from  amid  the 
chorus  of  exclamations  and  ejaculations  which  ob- 
cured  it.  Her  mistress,  —  "  Milady,"  —  who  had  come 
to  Rome  on  account  of  consumptive  tendencies,  had 
been  suddenly  seized  with  a  violent  hemorrhage. 
t£  Milord  "  was  absent,  and  the  maid  knew  not  where 
to  send  for  him..  She  had  discovered  a  day  or  two 
before,  that  Monsieur  le  doctenr  Lamar  was  an 


306  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

Englishman,  "n'est  ce  pas,  Monsieur?"  and  she  had 
ventured  to  come  to  his  appartement  in  order  to  beg 
him  to  go  to  Milady's  assistance. 

Though  somewhat  annoyed  by  the  circumstance, 
Lamar  was  too  true  a  physician  and  too  humane  a 
man  not  to  respond  to  so  urgent  an  appeal.  He 
signified  his  willingness  to  go  to  the  lady's  relief, 
and  was  at  once  escorted  by  the  terrified  maid  to  a 
neighboring  suite. 

Passing  through  an  untenanted  salon  and  ante- 
chamber, they  entered  the  room  where  the  sufferer 
lay,  still  and  unconscious,  upon  her  bed.  There  were 
ominous  dark  stains  upon  her  dainty  ncylige,  and 
the  same  significant  traces  crimsoned  the  white 
counterpane.  The  hemorrhage  had  ceased,  but  the 
violence  of  its  nature  was  demonstrated  by  the  utter 
prostration  of  its  victim. 

Whispering  a  few  brief  instructions  to  the  maid, 
Lamar  approached  the  bed,  and  was  about  to  lay 
his  fingers  upon  the  cold,  still  wrist,  when  he  drew 
back,  uttering  a  sharp  exclamation.  He  could  not 
be  mistaken  !  He  leaned  a  little  nearer  to  gain  a 
better  view  —  no,  the  identity  of  that  white,  beauti- 
ful face,  emaciated  though  it  was,  was  clear  enough. 
The  wasted  consumptive,  the  poor,  stricken,  English 
Milady,  lying  there  with  the  shadow  of  death  al- 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  307 

ready  veiling  her  radiant  beauty,  was  none  other 
than  Eleanor,  Lady  Parker. 

She  was  terribly  changed :  lovely  still,  but  with  a 
sad,  ethereal  loveliness  that  provoked  pity  instead  of 
admiration.  Suffering,  both  physical  and  mental, 
was  betrayed  in  every  line  of  her  wan  face. 

Fearful  lest  returning  consciousness  should  bring 
with  it  a  recognition  that  might  entail  agitation, 
from  the  -associations  it  would  doubtless  provoke, 
Lamar,  after  applying  certain  restoratives,  withdrew 
from  the  chamber,  and  explaining  to  the  maid  that 
he  feared  a  discovery  of  his  presence  might  agitate 
her  mistress,  he  gave  her  very  minute  and  careful 
directions,  whose  fulfilment  he  awaited  in  the  small, 
adjoining  ante-room. 

Here  he  lingered  until  he  was  quite  assured  that 
his  instructions  had  been  faithfully  obeyed,  and 
that  the  invalid  was  sufficiently  comfortable  to  per- 
mit of  his  departure.  Then,  after  bestowing  certain 
injunctions  upon  the  Frenchwoman  as  to  the  future 
care  of  her  mistress,  and  announcing  his  intention 
of  paying  Lady  Parker  a  visit  on  the  following  day, 
he  returned  to  his  own  apartments,  to  sit  late  into 
the  night,  reliving  that  happy  summer-tide  at  Ford- 
ham,  pondering  upon  the  evident  shipwreck  that 
Eleanor  Dunstane  had  made  of  her  life,  and  rumi- 


308  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

nating  upon  the  events  which  had  made  strangers 
of  himself  and  Robert  Wyndham. 

When,  the  next  afternoon,  he  made  a  formal  call 
upon  Lady  Parker,  he  was  received  by  her  husband 
with  urbane  courtesy,  tinged,  however,  with  that 
suspiciousness  which  marks  an  Englishman's  recep- 
tion of  the  advances  of  an  unaccredited  stranger. 

"I  am  exceedingly  indebted  to  you,  Dr.  Lamar," 
he  said  with  formal  politeness,  "for  having  come 
to  Lady  Parker's  assistance.  Her  maid,  like  most 
Frenchwomen  in  cases  of  emergency,  completely 
lost  her  head,  else  she  would  have  remembered  to 
send  for  Dr.  Rexford,  the  practitioner  to  whose  care 
my  wife  was  recommended  by  our  family  physician. 
You  will  permit  me,  sir  ?  " 

He  held  out  a  small  envelope  to  Lamar,  who,  how- 
ever, declined  to  accept  it,  while  at  the  same  time 
he  replied  to  the  obvious  hint  couched  in  Lord 
Parker's  remarks. 

"Pardon  me,"  he  said,  waving  the  fee  aside,  "I 
am  no  longer  a  practising  physician,  having  aban- 
doned my  profession  some  time  since ;  yet  I  am 
always  glad  to  render  assistance  when  it  is  needed. 
Having  had  the  honor  of  knowing  Lady  Parker  pre- 
vious to  her  marriage,  I  was  especially  pleased  to  be 
at  hand  to  serve  her."  • 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  309 

Of  course  Lord  Parker  acquiesced  in  Lamar's  re- 
fusal, and  acknowledged  his  indebtedness  in  very 
suave  terms;  meanwhile,  scanning  his  visitor's  face 
in  the  vain  endeavor  to  place  him. 

"  I  think  I  never  have  had  the  honor  of  meeting 
you  before,  sir?"  he  remarked  finally,  failing  to 
discover  a  clew  in  the  other's  unfamiliar  features. 

Lamar  shook  his  head. 

"No,"  he  replied;  "I  am  an  American,  and  had 
the  pleasure  of  meeting  Lady  Parker  during  a  visit 
to  Fordham  rectory." 

"  Ah  !  "  Lord  Parker's  drawling  exclamation  was 
significant.  Americans  were  obnoxious  to  him ; 
doubly  so  when  they  chanced  to  be  friends  of 
the  Wyndhams. 

He  could  not  very  well  refuse  Lamar  permission 
to  see  Lady  Parker,  however,  and  so,  having  sum- 
moned the  maid  to  prepare  her  mistress  to  receive 
a  visitor,  he  excused  himself  and  went  out.  Almost 
immediately  after,  Lady  Parker  entered  the  salon, 
leaning  heavily  upon  her  maid's  arm.  for  support. 
As  her  eyes  fell  upon  him,  she  gave  a  little  cry. 

"  Dr.  Lamar !  "  she  exclaimed  feebly,  "  is  it  pos- 
sible !  Julie  told  me  it  was  an  English  physician 
whom  she  summoned." 

She  glanced   at   him  apprehensively,  withdrawing 


310  DOCTOR   LAMAR. 

the  hand  that  she  had  instinctively  extended  in 
recognition  of  his  services,  afraid  lest  the  Wyndhams 
should  have  prejudiced  him  against  her.  But  the 
indignation  and  resentment  with  which  Lamar  had 
regarded  her  had  been  transformed,  the  night  before, 
into  infinite  sympathy.  So  plainly  evident  were  the 
traces  of  the  retribution  which  she  had  endured  in 
the  bitter  consequences  of  a  loveless  marriage,  that 
even  the  sternest  moralist  could  have  had  no  heart 
to  judge  her  harshly. 

With  a  few  cordial  words  he  reassured  her  as  to 
his  attitude  toward  her,  and  the  warm  interest  he 
manifested  in  her  condition  was,  apparently,  exceed- 
ingly grateful  to  her.  They  had  a  long,  long  talk 
together,  although  he  endeavored  in  vain  to  prevent 
her  exerting  herself. 

"  There  is  no  harm  in  it,"  she  insisted.  "  I  must 
talk  to  you ;  I  have  so  much  to  say,  and  you  are  so 
kind  to  me.  It  will  be  a  positive  relief  to  speak 
my  heart  to  some  one.  Dr.  Lamar,  where  is  Robert 
Wyndham  ?  " 

He  told  her  what  he  knew  of  the  priest's  present 
life,  and  acknowledged  the  breach  in  their  friendship. 
This  was  news,  and  unwelcome  news,  to  her ;  for 
she  was  well  aware  how  deeply  attached  Robert 
Wyndham  had  been  to  Lamar,  and  deprecated  any 
rupture  between  them. 


DOCTOR   LAM  All.  311 

"  Oh,  I  am  sorry,  bitterly  sorry,"  she  said  sadly  ; 
"  for  I  know  how  greatly  he  valued  your  friendship  ! 
Dr.  Lamar,  I  fully  realize  that  you  must  condemn  me 
for  iny  conduct  to  Robert ;  but  ah  !  your  condemna- 
tion cannot  exceed  mine.  The  proof  of  my  remorse 
lies  in  my  present  condition.  If  I  might  only  see 
him  once  more,  to  tell  him  of  my  regret  and  sorrow 
for  the  pain  I  have  caused  him,  I  could  die  easier, 
I  think.  But  it  is  impossible.  I  have  tried  to 
induce  Lord  Parker  to  take  me  to  America,  but  he 
will  not  do  it.  He  may  suspect  my  purpose,  for  he 
is  not  free  from  jealousy  of  Robert,  even  yet." 

She  sighed  heavily,  and  Lamar,  noting  the  increase 
of  color  in  her  hollow  cheeks  and  the  feverish  glow 
in  her  eyes,  rose,  and  would  not  permit  himself  to 
be  dissuaded  from  going,  promising  to  come  again. 

Their  accidental  meeting  was  a  happy  one,  pro- 
ductive of  comfort  to  both.  Lord  Parker  was  won  to 
consent  that  Eleanor  should  receive  Lamar's  visits, 
and  these  became  of  frequent  occurrence.  They 
had  much  in  common,  and  each  touched  so  gently 
and  tenderly  upon  the  sorrows  of  the  other,  that 
the  supersensitive  nerves  of  both  became  soothed, 
instead  of  irritated,  by  familiar  and  sympathetic 
contact. 

Lady   Parker's   condition   of    health  showed    the 


312  DOCTOR  LAM AE. 

usual  fluctuations  which  characterize  consumption. 
She  was  now  apparently  as  well  as  ever,  brilliant 
and  beautiful,  with  the  flush  of  mock  health  on  her 
face ;  again  Lamar  would  hear  that  she  was  very 
ill,  and  the  doctors  feared  an  immediate  and  fatal 
change. 

The  Parkers  had  left  the  hotel,  and  had  estab- 
lished themselves  in  an  old  Italian  palace  where 
greater  exclusiveness  and  quiet  were  attainable. 
Eleanor  was  now  under  the  care  of  Dr.  Kexford, 
the  resident  English  physician  of  whom  Lord  Parker 
had  spoken  to  Lamar. 

The  latter's  pity  for  Eleanor  was  extreme.  He 
could  see  how  utterly  uncongenial  her  husband  was 
in  every  respect,  and  he  sympathized  deeply  with 
the  burden  of  loneliness  and  remorse  she  was  endur- 
ing. He  had  not  seen  her  for  nearly  ten  days,  — 
having  been  denied  admission  when  he  had  pre- 
sented himself  at  her  door,  on  the  score  of  increased 
illness,  —  when,  one  day,  on  returning  to  his  hotel 
from  an  archaeological  expedition,  he  found  a  note 
from  her  awaiting  him.  It  contained  but  a  few 
pencilled  lines,  and  these  had  evidently  been  written 
by  a  weak  and  trembling  hand. 

"  Come  to  me,"  it  said.     "  I  must  see  you.at  once." 

As  he  entered  the  old  palace  which  the  Parkers 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  313 

had  made  their  temporary  home,  he  discovered  prep- 
arations for  departure.  Trunks,  strapped  and  ready 
for  transportation,  stood  in  the  hall-ways,  and  the 
salon  presented  a  bare  and  denuded  appearance, 
unlike  its  usual  cheery  aspect.  Eleanor  did  not 
keep  him  waiting  a  moment.  She  came  into  the 
apartment  with  a  slow,  feeble  step,  and  her  evident 
weakness  caused  Lamar  to  spring  forward  to  her 
support. 

She  had  changed  much,  even  during  those  few 
days ;  changed  terribly  and  significantly,  to  Lamar's 
trained  observation.  Her  face  was  deadly  white, 
untinged  by  the  slightest  suggestion  of  its  usual 
hectic  flush ;  her  cheeks  had  fallen  in,  and  her  thin 
lips  were  stretched1  so  tightly  across  the  teeth  as  to 
disclose  their  regularity  beneath  the  skin  ;  her  great 
blue  eyes  looked  unnaturally  large  and  lustreless ; 
and  the  hand  she  extended  was  emaciated  and 
fleshless  as  a  bird's  claw. 

She  smiled  wanly  at  him,  with  a  piteous  attempt 
at  cheerfulness,  tried  to  speak  a  few  words  of  wel- 
come, and  suddenly  burst  into  a  flood  of  tears.  Her 
sobs  were  bitter,  deep,  and  heart-rending,  and  in- 
duced a  fit  of  coughing  that  racked  her  slight  frame. 
She  sank  upon  a  couch,  and  besought  Lamar  to  have 
patience  with  her  until  she  should  recover  herself. 


314  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Presently  the  paroxysm  passed,  and  she  smiled  again, 
though  Lamar  thought  he  could  better  endure  the 
tears  than  that  heart-breaking  apology  for  mirth. 
She  beckoned  him  to  a  seat  beside  her  on  the 
lounge,  and  laid  a  hot,  feverish  hand  on  his. 

"  Forgive  me, "  she  said ;  "  but  I  am  quite  un- 
nerved. The  physician  here  has  decided  that  Koine 
is  too  cold  for  me,  and  Lord  Parker  wishes  to 
leave  at  once  for  Mentone.  Dr.  Lamar,  I  could 
not  go  without  seeing  you  again.  It  is  for  the  last 
time." 

Lamar  tried  to  reassure  her,  but  she  forbade 
him. 

"  Don't  try  to  deceive  me,"  she  said,  "  and  don't 
misinterpret  my  emotion.  I  do  not  weep  at  the 
thought  of  death  ;  I  am  quite  willing  to  go.  I  am 
tired,  horribly  tired,  of  this  world.  But  once  in  a 
while  —  once  in  a  while,  my  God!  what  am  I  saying ! 
Always,  every  moment  of  my  existence,  I  am  assailed 
by  the  recollection  of  the  utter  wreck  I  have  made 
of  my  life.  To  think  that  I  had  an  opportunity  of 
moulding  it  as  I  would,  and  have  made  this  of  it  ! !; 
She  pointed  to  herself  with  a  gesture  of  loathing, 
then  recovered  her  self-control  and  ordinary  calm- 
ness, and  proceeded :  "  Dr.  Lamar,  I  want  you  to  do 
something  for  me.  The  rules  of  the  order  of  which 


DOCTOR  LAM AU.  315 

Robert  is  a  member,  do  not  enforce  confession, 
though  they  prescribe  it  as  a  salutary  action.  There 
is  but  one  priest  in  this  world  to  whom  I  would  con- 
fess my  miserable  sins.  I  wish  to  send  him  a  letter 
of  farewell  and  humiliation.  Will  you  take  it  to 
him,  Dr.  Lamar  ?" 

Lamar  hesitated.  He  felt  so  little  in  sympathy 
with  this  ritualistic  priest  that  he  did  not  care  to  be 
again  brought  in  contact  with  him.  Besides,  he  had 
no  intention  of  returning  to  America  at  present. 
But  the  eager  wistfulness  of  those  great,  beseeching 
eyes  constrained  him. 

"  Yes,"  he  said  after  a  pause ;  "  I  will  do  what  you 
wish." 

When  he  left  the  palace,  half  an  hour  later,  after 
a  sad  leave-taking,  which  both  felt  to  be  a  final  fare- 
well, Lamar  carried  in  his  breast-pocket  a  bulky 
letter,  addressed  to  the  Rev.  Father  Wyndham. 

He  wrote  at  once  to  Rhea,  and  obtained  the 
priest's  address  in  America,  giving  her  a  detailed 
account  of  his  renewed  acquaintance  with  Eleanor, 
and  informing  her  of  the  commission  she  had  in- 
trusted to  him.  Then,  in  obedience  to  Lady  Parker's 
request,  he  remained  in  Rome,  waiting,  with  the 
arrangements  of  his  journey  all  completed,  until  he 
should  receive  news  of  her  death. 


316  DOCTOR  LA  MAR. 

It  was  a  month  after  she  left  Rome  that  he 
received  the  brief  telegram  which  she  had  instructed 
her  maid  to  send,  after  she  should  have  passed  awav. 
Twenty-four  hours  later  he  was  on  his  way  to 
America. 


DOCTOLi  LAMAIl.  317 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

OXE  evening,  about  three  weeks  after  the  death  of 
Lady  Parker,  Father  Wyndham,  of  the  Protestant 
Brotherhood  of  St.  Paul,  was  sitting  alone  in  his  bare 
and  narrow  chamber  in  the  mission-house  belonging 
to  that  branch  of  his  order  which  was  established  in 
Philadelphia.  The  priest  was  wrapped  in  meditation, 
—  an  occupation  of  the  scant  measure  of  leisure  allotted 
to  their  busy  lives,  highly  approved  of  by  the  members 
of  the  order,  as  tending  to  a  composure  of  spirits  and 
exaltation  of  mind. 

But  the  subject  which  to-night  controlled  Father 
Wyndham's  reflections  was  not  one  that  his  brethren 
would  have  selected  as  especially  calculated  to  pro- 
duce the  desired  effect.  He  had  had  a  severe  day. 
His  ministrations  had  been  employed  in  behalf  of  a 
dying  woman,  who  had  pledged  all  the  securities  of 
her  souFs  eternal  welfare  for  the  gratification  of  an 
earthly  passion. 

She  was  a  woman  of  the  people,  unlettered  and 
uncultured,  but,  notwithstanding  her  life  of  sin,  there 
was  an  intensity  and  loyalty  in  the  passion  that 


318  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

had  led  to  her  downfall,  that  somehow  ennobled  it 
and  made  it  seem  less  guilty  than  sad.  As  is  so  often 
the  case,  the  man,  for  whom  she  had  sacrificed  her 
life,  had  failed  to  appreciate  her  action,  and  had 
abused  her  trust  by  abandoning  her.  Even  this,  how- 
ever, did  not  destroy  her  love  for  him.  She  had  still 
clung  passionately  to  the  memory  of  her  brief  life 
with  him,  and  had  gloried  in  the  fact  that  he  had 
condescended  to  accept,  for  even  a  transient  period, 
her  offering  of  love  and  devotion. 

Despite  its  sinfulness,  there  was  something  in  the 
completeness  of  her  self-surrender  and  in  the  tenacity 
of  the  passion  that  loved  on,  unchanged  by  wrong 
and  desertion,  which  had  appealed  to  Father  Wynd- 
ham's  respect,  and  forced  upon  his  attention  a  contrast 
between  the  characters  of  this  fallen  Magdalen  and 
Eleanor  Dunstane. 

"  Which  career,"  he  had  wondered,  as  he  stood  look- 
ing sadly  down  upon  the  still  face,  when  death  had 
finally  robbed  him  of  further  opportunity  for  exhor- 
tation, "  would  be  better  justified  in  the  sight  of 
God :  that  of  the  woman  who  had  sinned  through 
excess  of  love,  or  that  of  the  other  who  had  com- 
mitted the  crime  of  a  loveless  marriage  for  mere 
worldly  gain  ?  " 

The  thought  had  flooded  his  soul  with  memories. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  319 

He  rarely  allowed  himself  to  indulge  in  reminiscences, 
for  even  yet  his  weak  flesh  had  not  wholly  surrendered 
to  the  spirit,  and  retrospection  was  a  dangerous  pas- 
time. Weeks  of  the  severest  discipline,  the  most 
arduous  labor,  were  requisite  at  times  to  conquer  the 
yearning  which  occasionally  assailed  him  for  a  glimpse 
of  one  beautiful  and  well-beloved  face. 

Father  Wyndham  was  a  far  better  man  than  he  who 
hurled  recrimination  at  Philip  Lamar  in  the  rectory 
study.  Contact  with  sin  and  sorrow  had  softened  his 
judgment;  association  with  broader  natures  had  liber- 
alized his  opinions ;  suffering  and  self-sacrifice  had 
purified  his  heart. 

At  long  intervals  he  heard  from  Rhea,  who  still 
remained  among  her  poor  at  Fordham,  and  from  one  of 
her  early  letters  he  had  learned  of  Laraar's  conversion. 
This  fact  had  filled  him  with  joy,  and  he  was  con- 
stantly promising  himself  to  write  to  his  friend,  and 
seek  to  heal  the  breach  which  his  own  harshness  had 
created  between  them.  But  the  consecration  of  his 
life  to  the  service  of  others  brought  such  demands  upon 
his  time  as  left  him  scarcely  any  opportunity  for 
personal  considerations.  When  one  is  incessantly 
occupied,  when  every  hour,  every  minute,  brings  its 
apportioned  duty,  time  glides  by  so  imperceptibly 
that  we  awaken  to  a  consciousness  of  his  flight  with 
a  shock  of  bewilderment  and  surprise. 


320  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

So  the  months  had  slipped  away  and  two  years  had 
accomplished  themselves  without  his  having  made  the 
amende  honorable  which  he  felt  was  due  Lamar.  His 
long-delayed  intention  recurred  to  his  memory  to-night, 
suggested  by  kindred  recollections,  and,  yielding  to  a 
conviction  of  the  truth  of  the  old  saw,  "there  is  no 
time  like  the  present,"  he  rose  to  fetch  pen  and 
paper,  determined  to  seize  the  occasion,  and  carry  his 
long-contemplated  purpose  into  effect. 

Having  supplied  himself  with  the  required  articles, 
he  seated  himself  before  the  plain  deal  table  that 
served  as  desk,  and  had  just  completed  the  date  and 
address  of  his  letter,  when  a  gentle  knock  inter- 
rupted his  occupation.  The  door  swung  noiselessly 
back  upon  its  hinges,  and  disclosed  Brother  Henry,  a 
lay  brother  who  filled  the  office  of  general  factotum 
in  the  establishment. 

"  There  is  a  gentleman  below,  Father,"  he  said, 
"  who  wishes  to  see  you." 

Father  Wyndham  sighed.  It  seemed  as  if  he  were 
never  to  be  permitted  to  reunite  himself  with  Lamar. 
But  self-sacrifice  was  the  first  requirement  of  his 
order;  he  laid  down  his  pen,  though  with  evident 
reluctance. 

"Very  well,"  he  replied.     "I  will  come  at  once." 

It  was  a  matter  of  real  regret  and  disappointment 


DOCTOR   LAMAR.  821 

to  him,  that  he  might  not  have  this  one  evening  to 
himself.  He  had  had  a  most  exhausting  and  harass- 
ing day  ;  he  had  been  so  forcibly  carried  back  into 
the  past,  had  been  breathing  such  an  atmosphere  of 
auld  lang  syne,  that  it  was  hard  for  him  to  shake  off 
the  old-time  influence  and  re-identify  himself  with  the 
impersonal  interests  of  his  religious  life. 

He  descended  the  stairs  slowly,  and  opened  the  door 
of  the  barren  apartment  set  aside  for  the  reception  of 
visitors  with  a  rather  abstracted  air.  The  room  was 
dimly  lighted — economy  was  rigidly  practised  in  the 
mission-house,  and  the  extravagance  of  gas  was  dis- 
pensed with,  lamps  furnishing  a  cheaper,  and,  the 
brothers  maintained,  a  more  satisfactory  light. 

But  to-night,  as  Father  Wyndham  entered  the 
gloomy  apartment,  and  saw  a  tall  figure  rise  from  out 
the  shadows  induced  by  the  scant  illumination  of  the 
one  insufficient  lamp,  he  forgot  the  vaunted  superior- 
ity of  oil  in  a  strong  desire  for  the  fuller  brilliancy  of 
gas ;  for  there  was  that  in  the  outline  of  the  indis- 
tinct form  before  him  that  appealed  to  him  with  a 
sense  of  strange  familiarity.  And  yet  there  never  of 
yore  had  been  a  stoop  in  Lamar's  proud,  erect  bearing. 
There  had  been  but  a  suggestion  of  gray  in  his  thick 
thatch  of  hair,  and  the  silver  locks  of  this  man  shone 
like  snow  under  moonshine,  in  the  pale  lamplight. 


322  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

Who  was  this  unknown  person,  this  obvious  stranger 
with  form  and  bearing  so  like,  and  yet  so  unlike,  his 
friend  ?  He  went  a  step  nearer,  muttering  some  con- 
ventional words  of  formal  greeting,  and  re-adjusting 
the  glasses  which  he  had  begun  to  find  necessary  to 
his  sight. 

Suddenly  he  gave  a  great  cry  and  sprang  forward 
with  outstretched  hands  and  shaking  limbs. 

"  Lamar,  Lamar !  It  is  you  !  "  he  cried.  "  Thank 
God,  thank  God,  I  see  you  again  ! " 

Philip  Larnar  smiled  sadly  and  nodded  acquiescence. 
There  was  less  warmth  and  emotion  in  his  manner 
than  in  the  priest's ;  for,  besides  being  prepared  for 
the  interview,  he  was  still  mindful  of  that  thrust 
which  had  been  dealt  him  with  a  poisoned  dagger, 
whose  venom  still  mingled  with  his  life-blood.  Yet, 
as  there  was  nothing  vindictive  in  his  nature,  he  bore 
no  malice,  even  to  this  friend  who  had  done  him  such 
injury.  He  held  forth  his  hand. 

"Yes,  it  is  I,  Robert,"  he  said.  "You  evidently 
find  me  changed.  Well,  yes,  and  so  I  am  —  in  more 
than  outward  appearance.  You  have  heard  ?  Then, 
although  we  still  differ  on  many  points,  you  will  not 
refuse  to  take  my  hand  now,  perhaps  ?  " 

They  stood  for  some  moments  with  clasped  hands, 
saying  little,  but  devouring  each  other's  faces  with  such 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  323 

pitying,  comprehending  gaze  that  through  a  recogni- 
tion of  common  suffering  both  were  moved  to  pardon 
and  forgetfulness  of  former  errors. 

Once  Father  Wyndham  endeavored  to  allude  to 
their  last  interview  in  self-denunciatory  terms,  but 
Lamar  forbade  it. 

"  Stop,  Robert ! "  he  said,  while  his  face  contracted 
with  pain.  "  No  matter  for  that ;  it's  over  and  done 
with.  Let  by-gones  be  by-gones.  You  gave  me  a 
severe  lesson,  but  perhaps  I  needed  it.  At  all  events, 
I  bear  you  no  malice  for  it." 

They  sat  for  nearly  an  hour  in  that  poor,  dimly 
lighted  little  reception-room,  engaged  in  earnest  con- 
versation. Each  was  anxious  to  familiarize  himself 
again  with  the  other,  and  mutual  interest  begat  much 
discourse.  Finally,  when  an  occasional  pause  bespoke 
a  waning  of  subject  matter,  Lamar  led  up  to  the 
object  of  his  visit. 

"  Bob,"  he  said,  finding  it  impossible  to  give  the 
other  his  title,  "this  is  the  reception-room  of  the 
establishment,  is  it  not  ?  " 

Father  Wyndham  nodded. 

"  Then  we  are  liable  to  interruption  at  any  moment. 
I  have  something  of  importance  to  say  to  you,  and 
wish  to  be  secure  from  intrusion.  Let  us  go  some- 
where where  you  can  command  privacy." 


324  DOCTOR   LAM AR. 

Wondering  a  little  as  to  the  nature  of  the  errand 
which  had  led  his  friend  to  seek  him,  the  priest  rose 
and  led  the  way  to  the  tiny,  unadorned  chamber, 
which  was  as  much  his  own  as  anything  of  which  he, 
who  had  foresworn  personal  proprietorship,  could 
claim  possession.  When  they  were  seated  Lamar 
drew  from  his  pocket  the  bulky  letter  which  had  been 
intrusted  to  him  by  Lady  Parker. 

Her  name  had  not  yet  been  mentioned  between 
them,  and,  as  Lamar  uttered  it  and  began  to  describe 
his  meeting  with  her  in  Koine,  Father  Wyndham 
lifted  his  long,  slender  hand  in  protest. 

"Nothing  of  her,  Lamar,"  he  said;  "I  do  not  care 
to  talk  of  her." 

"You  need  not,"  the  other  man  replied;  "but  I 
must,  for  I  have  come  back  to  America  for  no  other 
purpose.  I  am  sent  on  a  mission  by  her." 

Father  Wyndham  rose  and  stood  forbiddingly 
before  Lamar  in  his  long  black  gown.  A  flush  was 
beginning  to  tinge  his  pale,  ascetic  face. 

"  I  am  sorry,"  he  said  firmly,  "  but  I  cannot  listen. 
I  am  no  longer  the  man  whom  she  knew;  I  am  a 
priest  of  God,  having  no  worldly  interests,  and 
wholly  severed  from  my  past  life." 

Lamar  divined  that  Robert  Wyndham  was  still 
distrustful  of  himself  when  his  old  love  was  in 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  325 

question.  He  was  sorry  to  transgress  his  friend's 
desires  in  this  the  first  hour  of  their  reconciliation, 
but  he  felt  that  he  had  undertaken  a  commission  from 
the  dead,  from  which  it  was  impossible  to  withdraw. 

Father  Wyndham  had  begun  pacing  the  room  with 
long,  hasty  strides.  Lamar  rose  and  held  out  the 
sealed  packet  which  lay  in  his  hand. 

"  You  need  not  listen  to  me,  Robert,"  he  said  in  a 
grave  voice  which  commanded  the  other's  whole  atten- 
tion, "  butyou  will  scarcely  refuse  to  consider  the  dying 
words  of  the  woman  whom  you  once  loved  so  well." 

Father  Wyndham  grew  white  to  the  lips. 

"  Dying  !  "  he  cried ;  "  Philip !  My  God  !  is  she 
dead  ? "  His  voice  broke,  and  his  thin,  wan  face 
worked  convulsively  as  he  put  the  question.  It  was 
easy  to  see  that  human  passions  were  not  yet  wholly 
dead  within  him,  however  purified  they  might  have 
become. 

As  Lamar  bowed  assent  the  priest  gave  a  short, 
subdued  cry,  then  his  head  fell  forward  upon  his 
breast,  concealing  the  agony  he  was  enduring  from 
even  Lamar's  sympathetic  eyes.  Evidently  his  train- 
ing in  self-forgetfulness,  however,  stood  him  now  in 
good  stead,  for,  after  a  very  short  space,  he  recovered 
himself.  Raising  his  eyes  to  heaven,  he  crossed 
himself  with  steady  hand,  and  murmured  devoutly, — 


326  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

"  May  Jesus  Christ,  the  Lord,  our  Saviour,  receive 
her  into  His  eternal  grace." 

As  he  turned  his  face  to  Lamar  the  latter  saw  that 
its  lineaments  were  carved  into  an  expression  of 
perfect  trust  and  faith,  albeit  the  traces  of  sadness 
and  grief  yet  lingered  in  its  deep  lines. 

Almost  immediately  after  Dr.  Lamar  took  his 
departure,  promising  to  see  his  friend  soon  again, 
but  divining  that  now  he  would  prefer  to  be  left 
alone  with  the  last  message  from  her  whom  he  had 
loved.  He  little  dreamed  how  sad  a  confession  that 
little  packet  he  had  left  in  the  priest's  hands  con- 
tained. 

In  the  solitude  of  his  gloomy,  cheerless  room, 
Father  Wyndham  sat  late  into  the  night,  reading  the 
closely  written  lines ;  and,  as  he  read,  a  slowly  dawning 
agony  possessed  his  features,  until,  as  he  reached  the 
climax  of  the  letter,  he  fell  upon  his  knees,  and  burst 
into  a  passion  of  pleading :  — 

"  Oh,  God,  Father  in  Heaven,  forgive  her,  forgive 
her ! "  he  cried.  "  Pardon,  Lord  Jesus,  the  weak, 
frail  nature  that  could  not  contend  against  the  suffer- 
ing of  this  world.  May  the  blood  of  the  Lamb  be 
sufficient  atonement  for  her  sin.  Spare  her,  Oh,  Lord 
God !  Visit  not  upon  her  the  awful  burden  of  Thy 
wrath !  Let  me  suffer  for  her.  Chastise  me  as  Thou 


DOCTOR  LAM  AH.  327 

wilt;  I  will  bear  it  all  unmurmuringly,  if  only  she 
may  go  free !  Consider,  Oh,  Christ,  how  greatly  she 
must  have  endured  before  she  had  recourse  to  this 
supreme  act !  " 

Dawn  was  breaking  before  he  rose  from  his  knees, 
haggard,  pinched,  stiff  and  sore  from  his  long  and 
prayerful  meditation  upon  the  sad  fact  which 
Eleanor's  letter  had  confessed.  He  dipped  his  face 
and  hands  in  cold  water,  enjoying  the  refreshment 
which  the  bath  brought  to  his  fevered  pulses.  The 
gray  morning  light  was  stealing  wanly  in  through  the 
shaded  windows.  He  threw  the  latter  wide,  and 
stood  for  a  few  moments  drawing  in  long  draughts  of 
the  fresh,  pure  air,  and  gazing  tenderly,  pityingly  out 
over  the  still  city. 

"  And  to  almost  every  soul  of  this  great  population 
some  portion  of  such  suffering  must  fall,"  he  thought 
compassionate!}7.  "  It  is  the  Divine  decree." 

Then  he  drew  a  chair  close  to  the  open  casement, 
and,  with  calmer  soul,  read  again  the  tragedy  penned 
by  Eleanor  Parker's  trembling  hand. 

The  whole  tenor  of  the  letter  was  self-condemna- 
tory; the  only  extenuating  plea  it  offered  was  her 
recognized  inherent  weakness  of  character.  After 
describing  the  misery  of  her  life  with  a  man  whose 
petty,  trivial  nature  became  daily  more  repugnant  to 


328  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

her,  she  burst  forth  into  a  despairing  cry  of  reproach 
to  the  man  she  had  loved. 

"  Why,  why  did  you  not  insist  upon  marrying  me,  Rohcrt ! 
You,  better  than  all  others,  knew  my  vacillating,  pliable 
character.  Had  you  not  seen  from  my  earliest  childhood  how 
easy  of  persuasion  I  was  ?  Did  you  not  know  me  to  be  weak 
and  yielding?  If,  on  that  day  when  we  parted,  you  had  seized 
me  in  your  arms  and  sworn  to  defend  your  right  against  the 
world,  I  should  not  now  be  the  wretched  woman,  the  guilty 
sinner  that  I  am. 

"But  no,  you  left  the  decision  to  me;  and  I,  poor,  vain  fool 
that  I  was,  preferred  the  fictitious  lustre  of  a  coronet  to  the 
glory  of  mutual  love  and  respect.  Well,  I  am  sufficiently 
punished;  but  even  admitting  the  justice  of  my  retribution,  I 
was  too  weak  patiently  to  endure  it.  I  have  added  sin  to  sin, 
and  now  in  the  face  of  death,  for  the  first  time  I  find  myself 
endowed  with  sufficient  strength  to  meet  calmly  a  great 
emergency. 

"  1  have  chosen  you  to  be  my  confessor.  Selfish  to  the  last, 
I  shift  upon  your  already  heavily  burdened  shoulders  the 
weight  of  my  confession.  I  do  not  excuse  myself.  It  is 
simply  a  consolation  which  offers  itself.  I  seize  it.  I  am 
consistent  to  the  end.  Listen:  — 

"It  was  six  months  ago  that  I  awoke  to  the  consciousness 
that  life  was  no  longer  endurable.  Yet,  I  am  a  proud  woman 
—  wait!  I  should  say  I  was  a  proud  woman  —  the  past  tense 
is  more  befitting  the  date  at  which  you  shall  read  this.  I  would 
not  make  my  exit  from  the  world  under  circumstances  which 
might  lead  to  a  suspicion  that  I  felt  myself  to  have  been 
worsted  by  fate.  After  much  reflection  —  reflection !  Ah, 
Robert!  I  write  flippantly,  but  there  was  no  flippancy  in  the 
state  of  mind  that  led  to  my  resolve;  no,  God  knows  there  was 


DOCTOR  LAMAE.  329 

not!  After  pondering  the  various  methods  of  suicide  (it  is  a 
horrible  word,  I  shudder  as  I  write  it),  I  hit  upon  one  which 
would  prove  effectual,  while  it  precluded  suspicion.  The  con- 
sumption, of  which  your  friend  will  tell  you  I  died,  was  the 
result  of  systematic  exposure.  I  have  welcomed  chilling 
draughts  as  bosom  friends  ;  I  have  offered  my  breast  to  the 
fiercest  attacks  of  Boreas  ;  I  have  —  but  there,  what  need  to 
rack  you  further!  I  have  sought  release  and  secured  it." 

The  priest  let  the  sheet  drop  from  his  fingers  and 
flutter  to  the  ground.  A  ray  of  sunlight,  the  first 
lance  from  the  day-god's  arsenal,  shot  down  from 
heaven  and  fell  upon  the  page. 

Father  Wyndhain  was  prone  to  draw  deductions 
from  the  common  events  of  life,  which  he  construed 
as  significant  of  God's  will.  Like  the  prophets  of  old, 
he  was  clever  at  interpreting,  to  his  own  satisfaction 
at  least,  the  meaning  hidden  beneath  the  most  trivial, 
as  well  as  the  direst,  calamities.  The  significance  of 
this  terrible  confession  was  plain  enough,  and  this 
time  the  Divine  lesson  was  directed  toward  himself. 
God  had  taken  this  means  of  fully  awakening  him  to 
a  sense  of  the  harshness  of  his  judgment  of  Lamar. 
"Judge  not  that  ye  be  not  judged."  The  words 
seemed  to  ring  in  his  ears.  For  a  crime  far  less 
heinous  than  that  of  Eleanor  Parker's  he  had 
denounced  his  friend ;  and  now  he  felt  himself  con- 
demned in  his  inability  to  repudiate  the  greater 
criminal. 


330  DOCTOR  LAMAE. 

The  lesson  was  a  bitter  one,  and  terribly  disguised, 
though  wholesome  and  beneficial.  Poor  Eleanor ! 
It  would  seem  to  less  clear-sighted  mortals  a  little 
hard  that  she  should  have  been  chosen  as  the  instru- 
ment of  the  divine  teaching.  Let  it  not  be  supposed, 
either,  that  Robert  Wyndham  lost  sight  of  her  suffer- 
ing in  the  message  it  conveyed  to  him  —  not  so. 
The  whole  night  had  been  spent  in  prayer  for  her ; 
his  heart  had  gone  out  to  her  in  the  fullest  tide  of 
love  and  pit}- ;  his  throbbing  pulses  had  responded, 
beat  for  beat,  with  the  agony  that  had  worked  in 
hers. 

But  this  sense  of  utter  humiliation  was  a  sign 
of  the  fulfilment  of  the  change  within  him.  The 
shroud  of  arrogance  and  self-righteousness  that  had 
been  wont  to  clothe  his  better  nature,  had  been 
gradually  dropping  from  him.  This  new  brand  of 
suffering  quite  burned  away  the  last  remnant  of  the 
unlovely  garment. 

During  the  day  Larnar  paid  another  visit  to  the 
mission-house.  One  glance  served  to  inform  him 
of  the  tempest  that  his  charge  had  aroused  in  the 
priest's  soul.  Traces  of  grief  and  sleeplessness 
were  plainly  legible  in  the  sunken  eyes  and  weary 
manner;  but  the  tranquil  bearing  and  peaceful  smile 
bore  evidence  that  the  storm  had  been  successfully 
weathered. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  331 

Lamar  made  but  a  brief  visit.  He  had  no  desire 
to  remain  in  America,  and  was  to  leave  Philadelphia 
that  night.  He  purposed  visiting  China  and  Japan, 
for  the  spirit  of  restlessness  was  still  strong  within 
him.  He  discussed  his  plans  with  his  friend,  and 
for  a  short  half-hour  they  chatted  on  indifferent 
topics.  Then  Lamar  rose  to  go. 

"  Robert,"  he  said,  as  he  grasped  the  priest's  hand 
in  his,  "  some  day,  I  suppose,  I  shall  return  to  America 
and  settle  down ;  when  I  do,  I  shall  want  you  to  find 
me  some  employment.  Write  me  if  you  hear  of 
anything  which  you  think  would  suit  me,  but  re- 
member, it  must  possess  two  essentials :  it  must  be 
engrossing  and  unsectarian." 

It  was  in  Hiudostan  that  a  sudden  distaste  for 
further  wandering  assailed  Lamar.  His  nomadic, 
unsettled  manner  of  life  became  utterly  repugnant 
to  him.  He  felt  a  sudden  heimiceh  take  possession 
of  him,  and  he  had  a  craving  for  some  useful,  absorb- 
ing employment.  He  was  still  haunted  by  his  morbid 
ideas  regarding  the  wrong  done  Laura,  and  a  fancy 
seized  him  to  return  to  America  and  erect  a  memorial 
to  her,  to  which  he  might  dedicate  his  life. 

He  knew  how  dearly  she  had  loved  little  ones,  and 
how  bitterly  she  had  regretted  her  childless  condition. 
What  better  tribute,  then,  could  he  offer  her  memory, 


332  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

than  a  hospital  consecrated  to  the  care  and  relief  of 
children  ?  What  more  fitting  field  for  labor  could 
he  desire  ?  He  at  once  engaged  his  homeward  pas- 
sage, determined  to  seek  Father  Wyndham,  and  beg 
his  co-operation  in  the  matter. 

The  idea  was  a  happy  one.  For  the  first  time  in 
many  months  Lamar  felt  a  renewed  interest  in  life ; 
indeed,  he  grew  almost  excited  over  the  project.  On 
the  journey  from  San  Francisco  to  New  York,  he  fell 
in  with  a  former  professional  acquaintance,  to  whom 
he  unfolded  his  plan. 

Dr.  Hyatt  became  deeply  interested,  and  was 
enabled  to  give  him  very  valuable  advice,  having 
devoted  much  time  to  the  study  of  hospital  require- 
ments and  improvements.  Indeed,  he  had  studied 
architecture,  simply  for  the  purpose  of  practically 
demonstrating  his  theories,  regarding  the  proper 
construction  of  charitable  hygienic  institutions. 
Therefore,  when-  Lamar  presented  himself  at  the 
mission-house  of  St.  Paul,  he  was  able  to  show  his 
friend  a  very  creditably  prepared  plan  of  his  future 
scene  of  action. 

Father  Wyndham  entered  into  the  matter  with 
no  half-hearted  enthusiasm.  He  was  charmed,  de- 
lighted with  the  project,  and  was  especially  grate- 
ful for  the  more  healthy  condition  of  mind  which 
Lamar's  interest  manifested. 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  333 

A  proposition  emanating  from  him  was  gladly 
seized  upon  by  Lamar.  It  was  that  Rhea,  whose 
love  for  children  and  long  experience  with  the  sick 
and  suffering  especially  qualified  her  for  the  work, 
should  be  invited  to  preside  as  superintendent  of 
the  establishment. 

Lamar  wrote  her  at  once,  and  his  letter  was  fol- 
lowed by  one  from  Father  "Wyndhara,  begging  her  care- 
fully to  consider,  and,  if  possible,  assent  to  Lamar's 
request.  The  priest's  letter  concluded  thus:  — 

"Rhea,  I  owe  a  heavy  debt  to  Philip  Lamar,  a  debt  which 
I  can  never  raise.  When  I  look  at  him  and  recognize  the 
traces  of  remorse  and  suffering  which  my  cruel  words  caused 
him,  I  am  overwhelmed  with  the  consequences  of  my  unjusti- 
fiable conduct.  I  can  do  nothing  to  erase  these  traces,  or 
obscure  the  memories  which  have  caused  them  ;  but  you,  my 
sister,  may  do  much.  It  is  a  sacrifice  I  ask  of  you,  I  know. 
I  am  aware  how  closely  your  heart  is  knit  to  Fordham  and  its 
people  ;  but,  Rhea,  I  do  ask  it.  Of  the  life  which  has  been 
so  wholly  devoted  to  others,  I  request  another  self-offering. 
Come  to  us,  Rhea.  Come  to  him  and  the  little  ones  who  are 
to  bring  peace  and  comfort  to  his  w&unded  heart.  I  ask  this, 
my  sister,  partly  for  his  sake  and  partly  for  my  own,  but  also 
for  the  sake  of  One  who  has  Himself  made  us  the  wondrous 
example  of  self-sacrifice." 

There  stands,  on  the  outskirts  of  the  city  in  which 
Laura  Lamar  was  born,  a  large,  finely  proportioned 
granite  building.  Children's  voices  sound  within 


334  DOCTOR  LAMAR. 

its  walls ;  but  children's  laughter  is,  alas !  seldom 
heard  in  its  precincts.  Everything  about  it  breathes 
generosity  and  liberality.  Its  wards  are  ever  full 
to  overflowing;  and  the  plain,  homely  woman,  with 
her  dark,  sympathetic  eyes  and  cheery  smile,  who 
presides  over  its  administration,  finds  ample  employ- 
ment for  eyery  moment  of  her  time. 

The  children  love  her  instinctively,  for  it  is  a 
truism  that  children  and  animals  possess  a  won- 
derful instinct  for  divining  the  truth  regarding 
humanity ;  and  the  truth  regarding  Khea  Wyndham 
shines  clearly  from  her  features. 

The  hospital  is  unsectarian,  and  its  doors  swing 
freely  open  to  all  classes  and  nationalities.  Above 
them  is  placed  an  inscription  which  runs  thus  :  — 

"To  LAURA,  BELOVED' WIFE  OF  PHILIP  LAMAR, 
IN  MEMORIAM." 

There  is  no  public  memorial  erected  to  the  sweet 
little  English  blossom  "who  for  a  few  brief  days  also 
shared  the  distinction  of  being  the  "  beloved  wife  of 
Philip  Lamar."  But  within  the  sore  and  bruised 
heart  of  the  grave  director  of  the  institution  there 
is  a  niche  containing  the  image  of  a  fair,  dark-eyed 
maiden  with  tender,  glowing  eyes,  and  mischievous, 
laughing  lips.  Before  this  inner  shrine  the  lamp 


DOCTOR  LAMAR.  335 

of  passionate  longing  never  grows  dim.  Votive 
offerings  of  all  that  is  best  and  noblest  in  Lamar's 
nature  are  constantly  laid  upon  it,  and  time,  instead 
of  narrowing  the  space  allotted  to  it,  daily  increases 
the  bounds  of  its  influence. 

Dr.  Lamar  will  probably  never  be  a  happy  man ; 
his  remorse  for  that  one  unsanctioned  act  of  his  life 
will  preclude  that ;  but  he  is  fast  growing  into  a 
contented  one.  The  constant  employment  furnished 
by  his  hospital  forbids  leisure  for  morbid  retrospec- 
tion. The  good  results  of  his  work  react  upon 
himself,  and  tranquillize  his  mind  and  souL 

The  daily  association  with  Rebecca  Wyndham  is, 
in  itself,  of  great  benefit  to  him.  Her  calm,  broad 
influence  cheers  and  encourages  him  in  his  moments 
of  despondency.  Keligious  discussions  are  freely 
indulged  in  between  them,  but  with  no  satisfactory 
results.  Try  as  he  will  to  force  his  reason  into 
pledging  itself  to  the  articles  of  the  Trinitarian 
belief,  Lamar  never  succeeds.  His  creed  is  still 
simple,  lamentably  so,  Rhea  thinks,  and  never  ex- 
tends itself  beyond  that  first  affirmation  uttered 
by  Natalie's  bedside, — 

"I  believe  in  God,  the  Father  Almighty,  maker 
of  heaven  and  earth." 


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